What Are Some Stereotypes That People Believe About You, and How Do You Handle Them?

[17Bees]

I am truly sorry for the stereotypes people are labeled with and have to deal with from others. It really does hurt us all.

I feel very blessed that I have friends from fairly diverse backgrounds who have helped me learn about the things other people deal with on an everyday basis.

It always troubles me how some stereotypes become "socially unfashionable" -- not as polite to talk about, but all still there under the surface -- while other stereotypes carry right on and almost seem to be the "cool" thing to make jokes about. I was thinking in particular about weight issues.

It's become less socially acceptable to make fun of people for things like race, but yet, heavier people still seem to get made fun of on a regular basis, and that both saddens me and convicts me at the same time.

Several years ago, I joined "Curves," a gym franchise just for women, and I remember seeing one heavier woman there who was really throwing herself into the workout. Stupidly I thought to myself, "Oh, she's working so hard -- I wonder why she isn't seeing more progress? Poor lady."

And then I found out she'd already lost something like 70 pounds.

Oh my goodness.

I was kicking myself for being so judgmental, and really praying that God would help me do better in the future.

P.S. @phil36 -- Welcome back!!! Great to see you around the forum again and hope you'll keep right on posting.

I love this about you SS. Your sense of empathy. This might be a stereotype you could appreciate, but I think your affinity and simpatico smacks of Korean heritage. Koreans can yell first and then forgive shortly after, but always have pity and sympathy first and forgetfulness after.

There was a time when my dad and me lived in a little trailer park when this kid from school told me that trailer park was where the white trash lived. His parents had told him so it had relevance. I went home and told my dad and he said "Oh, well they're talking about the neighbors". It immediately restored my poise.

 

[seoulsearch]

There was a time when my dad and me lived in a little trailer park when this kid from school told me that trailer park was where the white trash lived. His parents had told him so it had relevance. I went home and told my dad and he said "Oh, well they're talking about the neighbors". It immediately restored my poise.

This truly makes me sad to hear this, Bees. I love seeing people's living spaces, no matter how big or small. It's just always been a personal fascination of mine. I love to see how each individual makes a space into a home. My parents always taught me that the size and cost didn't matter, as long as it was centered around God and kept in a fashion that would honor Him.

If it's any consolation... I told this story at a conference where we were invited to get up and give a testimony to the audience. I started out by saying, "If God would have given you the choice between these these three sets of people to be your parents, who would you have chosen? Donald Trump (this was many years before he ever became president,) Bill Gates, or a young couple living in a $5000 trailer in the middle of nowhere, USA? Well, guess which ones God chose for me..."

And it turned out to be the perfect match.

I spent many years living in a trailer as an adult as well, with a few of my friends teasingly calling me trailer trash, too, and one saying, "It's time to grow up and buy a real house." But at the time, it was perfect for me (before rent on such places started skyrocketing,) and made a vital contribution to being able to work towards my goals.

These days, when I drive past "real houses", I'm always wondering how much time and money the owners are paying for insurance, taxes, maintenance, and upkeep.

It's a sad thing to me that modern culture seems to equate "growing up" with taking on massive amounts of debt that might not even be necessary.

The cool thing, 17, is that Jesus said His Father's house has many rooms, and He is preparing a place just for you. Whatever it may be, I'm pretty sure people won't be making fun of it.

According to the myth of my adoption story (I have since read that this was a common fairy tale told by social workers at that time,) I was found in a cardboard box on a street. I have often told God that I'm hoping He's saved that very box for me in heaven, or will have a duplicate of it ready if the story is true, because in heaven, what more would we need?

If there IS such a thing as "trailer parks" in the next life, maybe you and I would even be blessed enough to live right down the street from one another -- it would truly be an honor.

Kudos, and a big fist bump to you, Mr. 16+1 Bees, and hopefully future neighbor.

 

[17Bees]

This truly makes me sad to hear this, Bees. I love seeing people's living spaces, no matter how big or small. It's just always been a personal fascination of mine. I love to see how each individual makes a space into a home. My parents always taught me that the size and cost didn't matter, as long as it was centered around God and kept in a fashion that would honor Him.

If it's any consolation... I told this story at a conference where we were invited to get up and give a testimony to the audience. I started out by saying, "If God would have given you the choice between these these three sets of people to be your parents, who would you have chosen? Donald Trump (this was many years before he ever became president,) Bill Gates, or a young couple living in a $5000 trailer in the middle of nowhere, USA? Well, guess which ones God chose for me..."

And it turned out to be the perfect match.

I spent many years living in a trailer as an adult as well, with a few of my friends teasingly calling me trailer trash, too, and one saying, "It's time to grow up and buy a real house." But at the time, it was perfect for me (before rent on such places started skyrocketing,) and made a vital contribution to being able to work towards my goals.

These days, when I drive past "real houses", I'm always wondering how much time and money the owners are paying for insurance, taxes, maintenance, and upkeep.

It's a sad thing to me that modern culture seems to equate "growing up" with taking on massive amounts of debt that might not even be necessary.

The cool thing, 17, is that Jesus said His Father's house has many rooms, and He is preparing a place just for you. Whatever it may be, I'm pretty sure people won't be making fun of it.

According to the myth of my adoption story (I have since read that this was a common fairy tale told by social workers at that time,) I was found in a cardboard box on a street. I have often told God that I'm hoping He's saved that very box for me in heaven, or will have a duplicate of it ready if the story is true, because in heaven, what more would we need?

If there IS such a thing as "trailer parks" in the next life, maybe you and I would even be blessed enough to live right down the street from one another -- it would truly be an honor.

Kudos, and a big fist bump to you, Mr. 16+1 Bees, and hopefully future neighbor.

Don't cry for me Argentina. I"m the luckiest man alive! The only dread I had with trailer homes was tornados. Our fave joke was asking "what do divorce and tornados have in common?" It means somebody's losing a trailer.

 

[Treeboy]

People stereotype me by thinking because i have a truck i want to help them move. It really hurts me, i am a person. My choice in vehicles does not make me your servant! Sadly i had to say that to my mom, she would not stop buying furniture.

Now i politely say no, even my sister moved i had to pass. Bunch of heavy stuff up a flight of steps and corner no thanks. I dont buy furniture i cant move myself. I shoved 2 couches in my front door alone. Pushed in walked around and dragged the rest of the way.

 

[SigP226]

If the said majority of a specific people group did not act or behave in a certain way, the stereotype simply would not exist.

 

[17Bees]

If the said majority of a specific people group did not act or behave in a certain way, the stereotype simply would not exist.

Nah. I don't think that's right. Stereotyping is an oversimplified opinion. It's an over-generalized expectation, and that's it. There's no more to it. It's even directed toward a group of people that might not even have anything to do with each other. But we love to do it. The problem with it is as much as we like to stereotype, we love to group with others even more. There's going to be somebody who identifies with the group in which the stereotype is made and since stereotyping is almost always demeaning, that person is now going to start stereotyping you. It's a wonder we haven't all killed each other by now.

 

[Lynx]

If the said majority of a specific people group did not act or behave in a certain way, the stereotype simply would not exist.

Great! Let's try that!

By your logic the majority of blonde women are dumb... No, that one doesn't work. The majority of blonde women I know are smart.

By your logic the majority of Polish people are dumb... Doesn't work out either.

By your logic the majority of Scottish men have sex with barn animals... Um... Yeah, no, I don't think your logic works out here.

 

[seoulsearch]

If the said majority of a specific people group did not act or behave in a certain way, the stereotype simply would not exist.

I can understand why some people think this way (which I realize is a bit of a stereotype in and of itself.)

Stereotypes are so plentiful that I would have to contemplate that maybe it takes active work to try to not buy into them.

A long time ago I seemed to be on this streak of meeting guys who said they were Christian, but one wanted me to meet him at a house where we'd be alone (on a first date,) and another, whom I actually liked and would have gone out with again -- if he hadn't started texting me to ask how soon we could "start sharing bodies" -- and after the first date.

Despite this, I didn't get to a point where I expected or thought all men would be like that. However, I did let myself believe that any guy I liked would just soon replace me anyway, so I didn't put in much effort. Fortunately, I had a couple of close friends who were willing to take on the challenge of flat-out telling me, "You need to change your attitude." What really hit home to me was when a close female friend wrote me and said, "Whenever you start talking about guys, I absolutely cringe, because I can assure you, none of the men in my family are like that."

And that's when I knew I needed to seriously repent and ask God for help (though I still admit, part of me still expects to be replaced and braces myself for it.)

I also know that the biggest stereotype I seem to have to fight against as a single woman is that women are only out for money. I have sat through many a (first and only) date in which the guy would tell me his entire dating history of all the women who had done him wrong, usually involving his bank account. I understand that completely -- we've all been hurt, and many of us in the same way, over and over again.

But the turning point for me is when they turn it into a personal challenge: "Prove to me that you're any different." I always, always offer to pay my own way on a date. But the minute that stereotype shows up in full force and gets projected onto me, I try my best to politely listen the rest of the time, ask the waiter for the full check for both of us so that I can pay, thank him for his time, and go on my merry way.

If someone is convinced that I'm going to be like everyone else and thinks that I have to somehow prove myself, that is the one and only time I'll make the effort to do so.

Which might be an idea for another thread...

 

[cinder]

However, I did let myself believe that any guy I liked would just soon replace me anyway, so I didn't put in much effort.

I'm going to take it upon myself to speak on behalf of the whole forum and say you're completely irreplaceable. To the point that I think the singles forum would go downhill a lot more if we had to try (so maybe it's a good thing you're single)

I understand that completely -- we've all been hurt, and many of us in the same way, over and over again.

At some point, if you (generic you because I have a higher opinion of seoulsearch than this) keep getting hurt in the same way you should start asking yourself why you aren't learning from your experiences and why you keep making the same mistakes and falling for the same con. (And / or get out if it's a specific person that keeps hurting you because you feel obligated to keep being connected to said person).

 

[Blain]

This is a very interesting topic. For me there are several sterotypes that people assume about me, firstly because of my appearance most assume I am a kid although that isn't really a sterotype I suppose, and because of my upbeat happy go lucky nature and also because I am very sensitive even crying at touching movies or being a complete sucker for love many think I am gay which I am not
and also because of my small size many think I am weak and because I am such an emotional and sensative person they also think I am weak inside while I may be physically weak inside I am not by any means weak

 

[Lanolin]

question about trailers...what if there's nowhere flat to park?
I mean. I wouldnt take flat fields for granted. Maybe in Kansas, but most of Auckland was built on volcanoes! And you'd have to live far far away from the city. Theres no way you can get a park for free in there! You'd block everyone's driveways.

sorry just being random.

In nz, if you own a trailer, like an RV, you are RICH.
If you are poor, you cant even afford to have a trailer, you cant pay your rent, you just live in jail!

 

[Lynx]

Count on Lanolin to bring the WITW (what in the world) moment.

 

[17Bees]

question about trailers...what if there's nowhere flat to park?
I mean. I wouldnt take flat fields for granted. Maybe in Kansas, but most of Auckland was built on volcanoes! And you'd have to live far far away from the city. Theres no way you can get a park for free in there! You'd block everyone's driveways.

sorry just being random.

In nz, if you own a trailer, like an RV, you are RICH.
If you are poor, you cant even afford to have a trailer, you cant pay your rent, you just live in jail!

Wheel chocks. There's all kinds and the cheapest one is a rock. Just jamb it behind the wheel.

 

[Lanolin]

Wheel chocks. There's all kinds and the cheapest one is a rock. Just jamb it behind the wheel.

ok. That sounds doable.
I suppose they have those rails so your books dont slide off the shelf and your breakfast doesnt slide into your lap. I've not ever lived or stayed in one though I always wondered about stuff like that.

what about houseboats. Are there 'houseboat hobos' , just like 'trailer trash'.

Im supposing anybody that you dont particularly know/like theres a horrible name for them, like hipsters and yuppies....or whinging poms. They are all just people getting by I suppose with what little (or heaps!) they have.
I dont fit in the 'crazy rich asians' cohort though. I have to remind ppl who assume otherwise that no, my family are not billionaires and we arent going to keep the economy afloat with money to invest. Sorry if that doesnt fit in with your aspirations.

I supoose if I was really rich I would want to disguise myself as poor by wearing ripped up jeans because I would get tired of people assuming I will always foot the bill. Its like the curly haired people wanna be straight and the straight hair people wanna have curls.

The grass is greener right where you are if you water it.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

Many people assume I've never had a boyfriend/am a virgin/don't date (I'm almost in my mid 30s now). This is actually true, since I've not had a long term relationship. (I've explained my observations about marriage in other posts (which I don't need to go into detail here), which I believe have greatly influenced my dating life.) I've actually had strangers ask me if I've ever had a boyfriend (one girl at a hostel, another guy at a business lunch, etc. during my late 20s). People skip me when talking about relationships. Not sure if this counts as a stereotype, because it is true. Maybe they think this because I'm quiet, Asian, introverted, don't talk about relationships, an only child, a hard worker, etc. There are a couple of older women in their 50s at church whom I believe are virgins ("old maids"), based on their personalities, and I believe they are a bit mysterious. Maybe this is how people view me.

 

[Lanolin]

I personally wouldnt worry TOO much about how people who Ive never even met before and barely talked with me view me.

If I spent all my time worrying about what strangers or the neighbours thought I wouldn thave much of a life.
I just smile and wave and let them think what they like.

 

[cinder]

Now all I can think is.... I'm not mysterious because I'm an old maid; I'm mysterious because if I actually let people know everything that goes on inside my head it would freak them out.

 

[shineyourlight]

I have a speech impediment.

MOST people think I'm just European.

But, then, I get the few jerks that think I'm mentally slow.

And, it more just makes me irritated that people are still living in that high school mindset.

 

[Lynx]

I have a speech impediment.

MOST people think I'm just European.

But, then, I get the few jerks that think I'm mentally slow.

And, it more just makes me irritated that people are still living in that high school mindset.

You have a speech impediment and you parlayed it into a European accent for camoflauge? That's awesome! Lemme guess... Cockney?

People are usually self conscious about what they perceive as defects, so I won't bug you for an audio clip... but it would be neat to hear, because I'm a nerd and I'm fascinated by such things. (More fascinated by the accent masking than by the accent itself, if that makes any sense.)

 

[shineyourlight]

You have a speech impediment and you parlayed it into a European accent for camoflauge? That's awesome! Lemme guess... Cockney?

People are usually self conscious about what they perceive as defects, so I won't bug you for an audio clip... but it would be neat to hear, because I'm a nerd and I'm fascinated by such things. (More fascinated by the accent masking than by the accent itself, if that makes any sense.)

I'll try to do an audio clip or a video. If you have Facebook, I'm constantly showing my face and my voice on there. Haha!

People tell me it sounds like European. Most people ask me where I'm from, and when I explain it's a speech impediment, they usually tell me where I sound like I'm from. Sometimes it's Boston, sometimes it's European. Haha.