when asked...

[Lanolin]

Are you married?
Do you have a husband? Do you have a boyfriend?
Or do you have a wife? Do you have a girlfriend?

by curious children, how do you answer?

When you say no, you dont have one, what do you say when they then ask ...do you want one?

lol

I think I answered, not right now, or not really.

I later kind of thought about it and wondered how the conversation would have gone if I'd answered something else.
Like if I'd said well,how about you? But they are under 18.
Or why, do you have someone in mind?

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I think the response depends on the degree of closeness with the other person. With close people you can give them an honest answer (such as haven't found the right person, you/husband are not fertile, etc., can't afford one, etc.).

However, if the question is from a very distant relative, acquaintance, etc. you can give a smarty-pants response because it is really none of their business.

If a kid asks, you can be nice about it but evade the question, such as you have a lot of cats they are your children, etc.

 

[tourist]

Are you married?
Do you have a husband? Do you have a boyfriend?
Or do you have a wife? Do you have a girlfriend?

by curious children, how do you answer?

When you say no, you dont have one, what do you say when they then ask ...do you want one?

lol

I think I answered, not right now, or not really.

I later kind of thought about it and wondered how the conversation would have gone if I'd answered something else.
Like if I'd said well,how about you? But they are under 18.
Or why, do you have someone in mind?

Perhaps an even more conversation would follow if the question was asked by an age appropriate person of the other sex.

 

[SigP226]

I always say "No. I've dodged that bullet".

 

[MsFlowers]

A coworker, that I had known for about 5 months or so asked me if I was single or seeing anyone (she was talking about what she did on the weekend with her boyfriend lol). I told her no I am not seeing anyone and she kindly looked at me and said oh, really? Almost like she was surprised that I wasn't (she is really kind though about it lol, and it wasn't awkward for me). My Grandma asked me that one time and I told her that I wasn't at the moment, but I am waiting on the Lord for the next one....well she said somethings I don't really want to get into haha, but it made me think about this. Maybe next time I'll just stick with no lol....until the day I get to say, "YES I AM WITH SOMEONE AND WE GETTIN' MARRIEDdddd lol....one day....but for now, I'll stick with:

 

[Kireina]

When innocent kids ask be honest and be truthful because your words are remembered...the words we say today to them will have great impact in the future... 😊


They might ask you the same question a never ending question...😅 still be honest with them...they will not understand it now but in the future they will and will remember your words 😊

 

[Lanolin]

this is not the same question as 'do you have children'
cats are not children...cats are pets. Cats actually do grow old and die. They dont stay as kittens...not sure why you would call cats children, as they are definitely are not childlike, and are quite independent. Children on the other hand, need lots of training, lots of care, and lots of attention.

at the moment Im just gonna say NO.

I just tell the children I have way too many at school to look after that I dont have time for my own, and its true.

I love my job when they arent kicking each other though.

 

[Lanolin]

When innocent kids ask be honest and be truthful because your words are remembered...the words we say today to them will have great impact in the future... 😊


They might ask you the same question a never ending question...😅 still be honest with them...they will not understand it now but in the future they will and will remember your words 😊

I think its important when talking with young girls to be honest and also to be realistic about what a husband would do. A lot of men just arent good husband material, just as some women arent cut out to be wives. And thats not always a bad thing.

There is way more to people than if they are part of a couple. I think I would find it a bit stifling to be married and not being able to do the things that God wanted me to do.

 

[Lanolin]

I think you can say in a way they can relate to, a four year old is quite different to an 8 or 9 year old. In their grasp of things. Teens would be different again.

Children ask in general cos they are curious. And they are quite blunt and come right out with it.
Children NEVER ask are you single. Thats an adult leading question to ask. Children always ask 'do you have a husband'
if its do you have a boyfriend I say I have many boyfriends but not just one boyfriend. I think its important that girls understand you can be friends with both girls and boys.

its more of a doctor thing to ask 'are you in a relationship' cos they more want to know about exchange of bodily fluids kind of thing.

 

[Lanolin]

I figured a great title for a new middle grade chapter book adventure story for girls and boys. It could be a series.

Called 'The Husband Hunters' it would be about a bureau set up for children to find their missing dads. Their anxious mothers would be calling this hotline if their husbands had gone missing and children would be sent out to find them, cos they are really smart children who knows what a good husband looks like.

 

[G00WZ]

Simple answer to all of those questions is "Nope", no need in making things over complicated and giving myself a migraine.
With little kids they ask simple questions, so i respond with simple answers. Usually after getting their questions answered kids just float off somewhere else to do kid stuff again. No need in feeling like i'm being pressed.

 

[Lanolin]

do you give yourself migraines GOOWZ?

you just answer, and if you dont know, you just say I dont know.

No need to lie about it.

Although since its the most popular question of the month I wondered if other single people answered differently.

The cat one Im puzzled over. I dont have children...cats are my children answer is kinda ---weird. I. not asking how to answer the question, as Ive already answered it and dont need advice but just wondering what other people say. If I said that to a child they'd just go huh?!
and probably they'd start pretending to be cats or something.

I dont have lots of cats anyway lol. Just the one lives here. The neighbours have more.

 

[G00WZ]

do you give yourself migraines GOOWZ?

you just answer, and if you dont know, you just say I dont know.

No need to lie about it.

Although since its the most popular question of the month I wondered if other single people answered differently.

The cat one Im puzzled over. I dont have children...cats are my children answer is kinda ---weird. I. not asking how to answer the question, as Ive already answered it and dont need advice but just wondering what other people say. If I said that to a child they'd just go huh?!
and probably they'd start pretending to be cats or something.

I dont have lots of cats anyway lol. Just the one lives here. The neighbours have more.

In the past i did. These days i just like to keep it simple. It's funny because some people want extremely over-complicated answers because they just can't accept and be satisfied by such simple answers.

 

[Lanolin]

In the past i did. These days i just like to keep it simple. It's funny because some people want extremely over-complicated answers because they just can't accept and be satisfied by such simple answers.

yea making it seem like you need to be excused for not being married or not with someone.
If you not married you just are not married. Doesnt need to be any big deal.

Though lots of people might ask 'why' and Im like just because.
I think the first time someone asked me and Id never really thought about it before, I had to come up with a reason because the doctor was like interrogating me either that or just being nosy, questioning why I wasnt dating etc I said um because evryone else that has boyfriends always get their hearts broken. So why would I want a broken heart?

Then he got all weird. But I think that shut him up but he kept pushing the issue as if there was something *wrong* with not being in a relationship.

 

[G00WZ]

yea making it seem like you need to be excused for not being married or not with someone.
If you not married you just are not married. Doesnt need to be any big deal.

Though lots of people might ask 'why' and Im like just because.
I think the first time someone asked me and Id never really thought about it before, I had to come up with a reason because the doctor was like interrogating me either that or just being nosy, questioning why I wasnt dating etc I said um because evryone else that has boyfriends always get their hearts broken. So why would I want a broken heart?

Then he got all weird. But I think that shut him up but he kept pushing the issue as if there was something *wrong* with not being in a relationship.

Doctors can be like that sometimes and just make seemingly pressing and personal questions while they do their examinations and whatnot. I think sometimes they just make small talk to make things seem less awkward. If your social skills are smooth enough you can switch the conversation around on them and have them talking about themselves and voicing their opinions instead.

 

[Lanolin]

Doctors can be like that sometimes and just make seemingly pressing and personal questions while they do their examinations and whatnot. I think sometimes they just make small talk to make things seem less awkward. If your social skills are smooth enough you can switch the conversation around on them and have them talking about themselves and voicing their opinions instead.

haha something I had yet to learn...

I think my social skills are rather better now according to my own estimation but whenever people asked stuff like 'do you have a job?' for example I thought they were judging me when I was unemployed.

they were just asking. I guess I didnt like saying no to ppl. and think I was disappointing them.
A more mature person would probably say, sadly, no.

My dentist always used to ask if I was pregnant. When she was giving me an x ray. we would laugh about it. But my new dentist, who is a guy doesnt ask me that. However I dont like my new dentist that much as he charges an insane amount and I want to change. arrgh thats another story.

if anyone has free dental care who isnt under 18 tell me HOW do they get it?? I can only think its cos they either bludging off their parents or maybe...their spouse pays for it.

 

[someguyfrommars]

Whenever someone asks I basically tell them. For example, I started a thread in the New Christian Chat Members (Introduction) forum and described myself as a 'lifelong single'. One well meaning member asked 'why didn't you get married?'

Hence, my response:

Well, it is complicated. Do not want to go into too much detail, but the kindest thing to say would be that as a young person I went through some signification distractions in life that provided a set back in terms of the development of my social skills, to put it mildly. At an age when most young people were developing socially, I was 'bombed back to the stone age'.

Hence, I was 'on the sidelines' during my prime twenties and thirties dating years. I did not begin to grow into my social skills until well into middle age, and by that point had become pretty much set in my ways from a single standpoint. To be quite frank, I kind of enjoy being single. Or at the very least, consider myself someone who potentially can accomplish things in life single that I might not if otherwise married.

I am not the most attractive guy either, so do not naturally receive a great deal of attention from women to begin with. Then again, it is kind of my fault in that I do not make it a habit to go out and meet people. Lost track of the number of invites to single groups, church singles activities, etc I turned down as a young person and stayed home instead. That said, I had gone through a great deal as a young person and needed a lot of space, privacy and time alone, particulars that still hold true to this day.

I understand the importance of compassion in the life of a Christian but also believe it is a two way street: not just compassion for others but self compassion as well. In order words, it might not always be fair to look back and second guess decisions you made as a young person. Or as it states in Philippians 3:13: forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead...

 

[Lanolin]

oh I would have just said, I just didnt want to thats why. Or I wasnt asked.

Its different if you are actually with someone, living together, having a child and then STILL not married.
I dont know what people say about that but they might give the age old excuse 'marriage is justa piecea paper' or 'its too expensive' and dismiss it.

Its like this friend who rang me up to tell me 'Im running unregistered in the round the bays'. Im like what, Dont you have to register??
she goes nah its $40 and Im on the benefit.
what if you win? wont you get in trouble? I wouldnt do it. Its like people who ride on the train and think they dont have to pay....

anyway. If she really wanted to run it do it when nobody else is there rather than run while all the other runners have numbers and have registered. Its her own humiliation if she gets pulled up by the race officials and kicked out for running without registering. Plus the money IS going to charities otherwise why do it? You can run the same course any other time if you just want to run.

 

[G00WZ]

haha something I had yet to learn...

I think my social skills are rather better now according to my own estimation but whenever people asked stuff like 'do you have a job?' for example I thought they were judging me when I was unemployed.

they were just asking. I guess I didnt like saying no to ppl. and think I was disappointing them.
A more mature person would probably say, sadly, no.

My dentist always used to ask if I was pregnant. When she was giving me an x ray. we would laugh about it. But my new dentist, who is a guy doesnt ask me that. However I dont like my new dentist that much as he charges an insane amount and I want to change. arrgh thats another story.

if anyone has free dental care who isnt under 18 tell me HOW do they get it?? I can only think its cos they either bludging off their parents or maybe...their spouse pays for it.

That's good at least you learned. Gotta maintain your lanolinity in a world of dry skinned,chapped lipped haters and judges, as long as you stay and keep your own opinions about yourself silky smooth and positive all is good when they come to accuse. When you are comfortable with you and you spend most of your time working on you, it's basically pointless for people to try to drag you down, people try with me all the time but its like...

 

[Lanolin]

my lanolinity?

aw

good on you GWOOZ I do need some big bro wisdom at times