Regarding sin, forgiveness and moral responsibility

[VickyK]

We worked together and lived on site together in his 'apartment'. He had one room and I had another. One night he wished me good night and told me how much he appreciated me as a friend. I then began to skype with a gentleman I was talking to. My friend then burst into my room screaming at me to leave. He handled my possessions and took them out of my room. I had to go the other on site accommodation and sleep on the floor.

My friend used his authority to have me fired from one of the positions I was working in.

 

[throughfaith]

We worked together and lived on site together in his 'apartment'. He had one room and I had another. One night he wished me good night and told me how much he appreciated me as a friend. I then began to skype with a gentleman I was talking to. My friend then burst into my room screaming at me to leave. He handled my possessions and took them out of my room. I had to go the other on site accommodation and sleep on the floor.

My friend used his authority to have me fired from one of the positions I was working in.

Sounds like he had feelings for you and jealously was the factor here . Having male friends is tough when there may be attraction .

 

[VickyK]

Sounds like he had feelings for you and jealously was the factor here . Having male friends is tough when there may be attraction .

Yes, he did.

He effectively said 'I don't want you here fi you're pursuing a relationship with another man'

 

[Absolutely]

Absolutely. 'forgive and forget' does not help anyone. If he who wronged is forgiven without first repenting he benefits nothing. His repenting is for his benefit and as much as it is he whom he wronged. Likewise the forgiving is as much to benefit the wronged party as he who wronged him.

Seeking to penalise someone is for their benefit also. We are not punished for our sins so much as by our sins.

I love you but you got it wrong.

Forgiveness does not have conditions.

You not only forgive him but break the power of unforgiveness by buying him something.

You not only forgive but pray blessing upon him.

Unforgiveness is a grudge. It is holding something over another person.

It should be instantaneous.

Read foxes book of martyrs and see every single one of them forgave their executioners.

So practice instant forgiveness now.

A woman of God once said " never blame anyone for anything"

 

[VickyK]

I love you but you got it wrong.

Forgiveness does not have conditions.

You not only forgive him but break the power of unforgiveness by buying him something.

You not only forgive but pray blessing upon him.

Unforgiveness is a grudge. It is holding something over another person.

It should be instantaneous.

Read foxes book of martyrs and see every single one of them forgave their executioners.

So practice instant forgiveness now.

A woman of God once said " never blame anyone for anything"

That allows others to sin with impunity.

 

[Absolutely]

That allows others to sin with impunity.

That allows others to sin with impunity.

Yes.
Impunity catches them in this life and the next.

Has zero to do with our forgiving them.

We forgive immediately and hold nothing to their charge.

 

[Lucy-Pevensie]

Wow Vicky,

This is awful. I can't know exactly how you feel because I'm not you. It sounds like this chap has a problem with extreme jealously.
It would be risky to pursue a deeper personal relationship with someone like that. He is likely to get worse later rather than better.

I think I understand the issue regarding your ability to forgive him being at least partially dependant on his admission of guilt.
If someone says "sorry I was wrong" you can release forgiveness. Without that, the hurt remains.
What you need is closure. Then you can get over it.

Make sure you pray about it. You don't want to hold on to it long term because it won't do your soul any good.
Jesus is great at helping us release & heal even without the confession of an offending party.
Do you still have to see the bloke because of work? If you still have to see him it's probably harder to let go of it.

 

[VickyK]

Wow Vicky,

This is awful. I can't know exactly how you feel because I'm not you. It sounds like this chap has a problem with extreme jealously.
It would be risky to pursue a deeper personal relationship with someone like that. He is likely to get worse later rather than better.

I think I understand the issue regarding your ability to forgive him being at least partially dependant on his admission of guilt.
If someone says "sorry I was wrong" you can release forgiveness. Without that, the hurt remains.
What you need is closure. Then you can get over it.

Make sure you pray about it. You don't want to hold on to it long term because it won't do your soul any good.
Jesus is great at helping us release & heal even without the confession of an offending party.
Do you still have to see the bloke because of work? If you still have to see him it's probably harder to let go of it.

Yes, closure is what I want.

I would like an apology but what I really want is to understand WHY he acted the way he did and why he doesn't think what he did was wrong?

I am not working with him but I am in contact with him. He has blocked on social media for bringing this up with him.

His current narrative is 'I have a right to choose who lives with me which is why I kicked you out in the middle of the night'

He has been a Christian for far, far, far longer than I have.

I personally regret not calling the police.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

We worked together and lived on site together in his 'apartment'. He had one room and I had another. One night he wished me good night and told me how much he appreciated me as a friend. I then began to skype with a gentleman I was talking to. My friend then burst into my room screaming at me to leave. He handled my possessions and took them out of my room. I had to go the other on site accommodation and sleep on the floor.

My friend used his authority to have me fired from one of the positions I was working in.

Brutal. If I had known you, I'd have stood up for you. Our society has turned heavily against helping others . . . I'm sorry to hear that you went through such treatment.

 

[VickyK]

Brutal. If I had known you, I'd have stood up for you. Our society has turned heavily against helping others . . . I'm sorry to hear that you went through such treatment.

Thank you.

 

[Lighthearted]

I have spent my life forgiving others for things they will never admit to doing. Forgiveness is something one must do in order to move on from the past. Forgiving ourselves is also critical. When a person refuses to acknowledge or seek forgiveness, laying it at the cross is all one can do. As hard as it is, holding others accountable often means ending all connection. Sometimes our personal growth and well being requires such measures.
Ultimately, God will hold us all accountable for our words and actions.
This book was recommended by my best friend that urged me to see a Christian counselor.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life
Book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

 

[Lucy-Pevensie]

Yes, closure is what I want.

I would like an apology but what I really want is to understand WHY he acted the way he did and why he doesn't think what he did was wrong?

I am not working with him but I am in contact with him. He has blocked on social media for bringing this up with him.

His current narrative is 'I have a right to choose who lives with me which is why I kicked you out in the middle of the night'

He has been a Christian for far, far, far longer than I have.

I personally regret not calling the police.

He may not even know why himself. It sounds like he has a deep control issue. It could go back to his childhood experiences.
This sort of thing can take years for a person to work through. It depends on his ability to see his own faults & whether he is willing to surrender those problems to The Lord.

 

[Nehemiah6]

What did you mean by ' inherited sin ' ?

Probably the fact that because of the disobedience of Adam (and Eve) all human beings are born with a sin nature and will therefore die (Rom 5:12). Therefore all need to repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. There is none righteous, no not one, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

 

[throughfaith]

Probably the fact that because of the disobedience of Adam (and Eve) all human beings are born with a sin nature and will therefore die (Rom 5:12). Therefore all need to repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ. There is none righteous, no not one, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

I agree that we have two issues. All have sinned 1 and come short 2
' sin nature ' isn't a bible verse though.

 

[PC123]

I am a sinner. I speak not of the inherited sin that we all share, but of the specific offenses I have committed toward my fellow man, my Earth and all its creatures, and my Most High creator. I have wronged and I would seek to be held accountable that I may repent and I be forgiven. Likewise have I been wronged, and will endeavour to hold those who have wronged me accountable that they may repent and I forgive them.

I am overwhelmed and grateful that I have the example of Jesus the Christ to humble me. For he was a perfect being whom committed no wrongs, yet freely allowed himself be persecuted and endure human suffering to save mankind.

I have been inspired to write this by a conversation with a friend. He has wronged me, yet as much as I implore him to come to a resolution with me that I may forgive him, he refuses to do so. I am upset that he would refuse to reflect upon wronging me, and saddened that he not enjoy moral responsibility. I have begged that he tell me how I have wronged him, that I may myself make amends. I implore upon him to look at the example of Christ Jesus, whom being guilty of nothing endured persecution and forgave still. I invite him to appreciate the value of humility. I can forgive him, yet I am not certain that he will repent if he does not accept that he has wronged me.

'I am not responsible for your happiness'

But you are. For we are all responsible in sharing this Earthly plane God has granted us live on. We must love our neighbour as we do ourselves. We must welcome being held accountable for our moral failings yet never tolerate cruelty being done to our person, for as much as we suffer the cruelty others do unto us, others suffer tenfold the cruelty they themselves commit. Likewise must we treat ourselves with the kindness we would treat others, and follow Christ's example of forgiveness.

Our forgiving others and our being forgiven are not permits to act with impunity. Whilst wrongdoing must be forgiven, likewise should they be penalised. Penalties, whilst causing us some temporary discomfort, arrive as blessings for they hold us accountable, and it is through this accountability that we may repent.

It is essential to our wellbeing that we not only love our neighbour as we would ourselves, but to love ourselves as we would our neighbour. You owe it to yourself and the God to whom you owe your life to endeavour to be as good to yourself as you would be others.

Forgive me if I sound prideful, and feel free to disagree with me.

God bless you. Amen.

Hmm, the people that don't apologize. I struggled with these people for a while...
How can I forgive someone if they don't ask or want my forgiveness?

I learned to forgive someone from within myself, to just drop it and let it go... But that doesn't mean I have to trust that person.
I find it best to understand what led to that event so that I can try to avoid it in the future...

My struggle is with society. Not the average people like us, but the powers that are in control... How do I forgive society?
Forgiving people is one thing but forgiving a system or government is something that I struggle with
I had reached a state of apathy about a year ago but this whole scandemic has brought back this bitter resentment

 

[Absolutely]

"""'I am not responsible for your happiness'"""

Yes...Actually we are not responsible for another's happiness.

Trying to be responsible for their happiness is a " man pleasing spirit"

The root of it is being " emotionally centered"

Emotionally centered is living life in a roller coaster.

It gets into Becoming an enabler.

Here is the best advice you will get;

Get over people. Get out of circumstances.

Be a master....not a slave

How?

Walk in the spirit = life

Walk in something else = welcome to the rollercoaster slave

Walk in the spirit and watch ps 91 become your reality.

Yes yes yes

THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!

 

[Nehemiah6]

' sin nature ' isn't a bible verse though.

Again you are trying to nit pick. The sin nature is called "the flesh" or "the old man".

 

[throughfaith]

Again you are trying to nit pick. The sin nature is called "the flesh" or "the old man".

No ,the term is misleading and low resolution.

 

[throughfaith]

Again you are trying to nit pick. The sin nature is called "the flesh" or "the old man".

The term is banded about ,usually linked to another phrase not found in the bible ' original sin '

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

He may not even know why himself.

Sure he did. The extreme likelihood is that he wanted to be intimate with her.