sorry to bother. i’m looking for a wifey 🙃

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Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
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#42
Much better.to go out and meet people and get to know them as a friend before anything else, anyway

But yeah i suspect.troll. Normal people don't need to date strangers online. Troubled people often do though. You don't want someone who is damaged goods
Hmm. I'll let my long distance girlfriend know about that.

Oh, and actually "damaged goods" are often my favorite type of people. Because they tend to be more humble and sympathetic and less likely to look down on others for not being perfect.
And it's a wonderful feeling to be close to "damaged goods" and watch them grow and improve and heal and see the changes in them. To see them feel better about themselves, smile more, laugh more. Be more at peace. To feel the sadness with them and bond with them over the things that have happened in their life that hurt them so deeply.
And if you are fortunate enough to play even a small part in helping this process happen and see them improve it is one of the most rewarding feelings you can imagine.
I can recall knowing this "damaged goods" through an online game. His life was stuck in a rut and he found it difficult to get through his days. I offered some simple advice on changes to make in his life. Shortly after he disappeared.
When he resurfaced 2 months later he told me how he took my advice and it changed his entire life. His lifelong dream of joining the military he was always unable to be fulfilled, but during his 2 month disappearance he found the motivation and finally achieved his biggest dream.
Makes me wonder where he might be if I wasn't so "damaged" and there to help.

My own gf is "damaged goods", by your standard. In the past year she has grown by leaps and bounds in areas she struggles with her entire life. Somehow despite my being "damaged goods" that no "normal" person would want (by the way, all these years she suffered was under the eyes of "normal" people) I had the opportunity to help her. And that was enough help for her to go and seek better help that was able to do more than I was. Something all those "normal" people would have made her feel bad for doing.

I am damaged goods. And most of my life I've surrounded myself with others who were damaged goods. My closest friends have often been very damaged. And I plan on staying down here in the sewers with the damaged people, where we take care of each other because we know the "normal" people certainly won't. You and the "normal" people can stay up there on your long legged horses and play pretend that everything's perfect.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
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England UK
#43
Hmm. I'll let my long distance girlfriend know about that.

Oh, and actually "damaged goods" are often my favorite type of people. Because they tend to be more humble and sympathetic and less likely to look down on others for not being perfect.
And it's a wonderful feeling to be close to "damaged goods" and watch them grow and improve and heal and see the changes in them. To see them feel better about themselves, smile more, laugh more. Be more at peace. To feel the sadness with them and bond with them over the things that have happened in their life that hurt them so deeply.
And if you are fortunate enough to play even a small part in helping this process happen and see them improve it is one of the most rewarding feelings you can imagine.
I can recall knowing this "damaged goods" through an online game. His life was stuck in a rut and he found it difficult to get through his days. I offered some simple advice on changes to make in his life. Shortly after he disappeared.
When he resurfaced 2 months later he told me how he took my advice and it changed his entire life. His lifelong dream of joining the military he was always unable to be fulfilled, but during his 2 month disappearance he found the motivation and finally achieved his biggest dream.
Makes me wonder where he might be if I wasn't so "damaged" and there to help.

My own gf is "damaged goods", by your standard. In the past year she has grown by leaps and bounds in areas she struggles with her entire life. Somehow despite my being "damaged goods" that no "normal" person would want (by the way, all these years she suffered was under the eyes of "normal" people) I had the opportunity to help her. And that was enough help for her to go and seek better help that was able to do more than I was. Something all those "normal" people would have made her feel bad for doing.

I am damaged goods. And most of my life I've surrounded myself with others who were damaged goods. My closest friends have often been very damaged. And I plan on staying down here in the sewers with the damaged people, where we take care of each other because we know the "normal" people certainly won't. You and the "normal" people can stay up there on your long legged horses and play pretend that everything's perfect.

I am too damaged myself to be able to deal with anyone else's mess. Born into an abusive home with serious mental illness and disability from an early age. Addictions eating disorders multiple suicide attempts, ....the reason I advise people to choose healthy partners is because most of us are too broken ourselves to be able to be someone's therapist. Relationship has to be give and take. Not one person depending on the other to fix them. You need equal !mutual relationship with someone who can enhance your life, energise and inspire you.

I meant no offence. Please forgive me.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#44
I know some normal (for a given value of normal, ie they don't make you think they need years of therapy after a short acquaintance) people who met and married online. In some ways I rather like the idea of perusing the bios and spec sheets of people before choosing to interact (probably because I'm introverted and of the rational bent that would like info to go on before I let my emotions get involved), but I also know that sometimes the people you click with are the people you never thought you would (and sometimes that's awesome and sometimes you wonder how you ever got into such a mess).

But it's kind of a moot point since, I'm so not interested in getting married that the cost of dating sites is prohibitively high for me and a stranger would be hard pressed to generate that level of interest in passing. Well and now I've got a dog that wants to attack and chase away everyone she doesn't know.

To be fair I have known some lovely people who have met their life partners online. The issue is that there are some who try online dating because they come in way too strong or too needy. None of us is perfect but I would find that v intimidating as am more a shy type
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#45
Hmm. I'll let my long distance girlfriend know about that.

Oh, and actually "damaged goods" are often my favorite type of people. Because they tend to be more humble and sympathetic and less likely to look down on others for not being perfect.
And it's a wonderful feeling to be close to "damaged goods" and watch them grow and improve and heal and see the changes in them. To see them feel better about themselves, smile more, laugh more. Be more at peace. To feel the sadness with them and bond with them over the things that have happened in their life that hurt them so deeply.
And if you are fortunate enough to play even a small part in helping this process happen and see them improve it is one of the most rewarding feelings you can imagine.
I can recall knowing this "damaged goods" through an online game. His life was stuck in a rut and he found it difficult to get through his days. I offered some simple advice on changes to make in his life. Shortly after he disappeared.
When he resurfaced 2 months later he told me how he took my advice and it changed his entire life. His lifelong dream of joining the military he was always unable to be fulfilled, but during his 2 month disappearance he found the motivation and finally achieved his biggest dream.
Makes me wonder where he might be if I wasn't so "damaged" and there to help.

My own gf is "damaged goods", by your standard. In the past year she has grown by leaps and bounds in areas she struggles with her entire life. Somehow despite my being "damaged goods" that no "normal" person would want (by the way, all these years she suffered was under the eyes of "normal" people) I had the opportunity to help her. And that was enough help for her to go and seek better help that was able to do more than I was. Something all those "normal" people would have made her feel bad for doing.

I am damaged goods. And most of my life I've surrounded myself with others who were damaged goods. My closest friends have often been very damaged. And I plan on staying down here in the sewers with the damaged people, where we take care of each other because we know the "normal" people certainly won't. You and the "normal" people can stay up there on your long legged horses and play pretend that everything's perfect.
Your girlfriends life sounds a lot like mine. I'm like that. V damaged
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#46
food for thought
Jesus spent more time with the "damaged goods" in his day than the "normal" ones.
He spent more time with the poor, needy, crippled, tax collectors etc than He did with the wealthy, healthy "normal" people..........
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
429
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#47
I am too damaged myself to be able to deal with anyone else's mess. Born into an abusive home with serious mental illness and disability from an early age. Addictions eating disorders multiple suicide attempts, ....the reason I advise people to choose healthy partners is because most of us are too broken ourselves to be able to be someone's therapist. Relationship has to be give and take. Not one person depending on the other to fix them. You need equal !mutual relationship with someone who can enhance your life, energise and inspire you.

I meant no offence. Please forgive me.
Thanks for your honesty. But the problem here is when people with issues pretend to be normal just to get into relationship with someone, when they are being deceptive on purpose. Especially if they are really evil. Thats the dangers of online romance. If it was someone you could see in person on a regular basis in their own environment, then you could assess them a little better.

But if someone has some issues which they are upfront about, then its up to the person if they can deal with the other persons issues. But damaged goods is not what i would call it. To say someone is damaged goods means they have no worth, no value. Now even if a person is not valuable to you, that doesnt mean they cant be or aren't valuable to someone else.

Do you see yourself as damaged goods? Well how does God see you? Meditate on that. Even if others think you are damaged goods, you dont have to agree with them.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#48
Thanks for your honesty. But the problem here is when people with issues pretend to be normal just to get into relationship with someone, when they are being deceptive on purpose. Especially if they are really evil. Thats the dangers of online romance. If it was someone you could see in person on a regular basis in their own environment, then you could assess them a little better.

But if someone has some issues which they are upfront about, then its up to the person if they can deal with the other persons issues. But damaged goods is not what i would call it. To say someone is damaged goods means they have no worth, no value. Now even if a person is not valuable to you, that doesnt mean they cant be or aren't valuable to someone else.

Do you see yourself as damaged goods? Well how does God see you? Meditate on that. Even if others think you are damaged goods, you dont have to agree with them.

How does God see me??

SOmetime s i think
he sees me as a blot on His body


Not enough
Not good enough or clean enough
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#49
food for thought
Jesus spent more time with the "damaged goods" in his day than the "normal" ones.
He spent more time with the poor, needy, crippled, tax collectors etc than He did with the wealthy, healthy "normal" people..........

He had the capacity to do that. People like me are too damaged ourselves to be able to take on another person's needs. I wouldn't want a relationship where I ended up always being the giver. Relationships should be mutual. Both people adding to the other persons life

I don't want to be abused again. So I have very high boundaries. I hang with those people who I enjoy spending time with and having fun with.
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
429
347
63
#50
How does God see me??

SOmetime s i think
he sees me as a blot on His body


Not enough
Not good enough or clean enough
He must think you are mighty important!! Why else would He send Jesus to die for your sins?
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
429
347
63
#55
I am born again yes so I do strive to trust God. Healing from trauma is a process, but yeah it will happen
I have trauma too from the negative words which were spoken to me. But i realize that those people were wrong because God loves us all. We are all equal to Him and its wrong to make others feel bad about themselves. So its just these simple but powereful thoughts that will get you through as you renew your mind from bad thinking.

And what you have been through will help you not to be unkind to others because you know the pain it brings.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#56
I have trauma too from the negative words which were spoken to me. But i realize that those people were wrong because God loves us all. We are all equal to Him and its wrong to make others feel bad about themselves. So its just these simple but powereful thoughts that will get you through as you renew your mind from bad thinking.

And what you have been through will help you not to be unkind to others because you know the pain it brings.

I wasn't aware that I had been unkind to anyone on here? And I think it's ok to only have people in your life who you enjoy spending time with.It isn't unkind to say no to dating or marrying someone .

I don't accept I am wrong by setting boundaries and making sure people don't drain my energy

Sorry you have suffered trauma too. Big hugs to you
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
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England UK
#57
Telling someone you don't want to marry them or be around them won't kill them

Rejection hurts but is rarely fatal!
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#58
Your girlfriends life sounds a lot like mine. I'm like that. V damaged
Didn't you just tell someone what sin a "real Christian" wouldn't do? Now you're here proclaiming to be a lesbian?
I wonder if someone used the "a real Christian wouldn't..." line on you how you'd respond. 🤔
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#59
I am too damaged myself to be able to deal with anyone else's mess. Born into an abusive home with serious mental illness and disability from an early age. Addictions eating disorders multiple suicide attempts, ....the reason I advise people to choose healthy partners is because most of us are too broken ourselves to be able to be someone's therapist. Relationship has to be give and take. Not one person depending on the other to fix them. You need equal !mutual relationship with someone who can enhance your life, energise and inspire you.

I meant no offence. Please forgive me.
Someone being broken or not is not the issue. It's what they choose to do. I am broken, yet Because of that o have had the opportunity to help others who were also broken.
I took the time to learn what was wrong with my and why. And I learned about others and their reasons. And because I understood I was able to help. While still not being "normal".
And it is other damaged people who have helped me. Rarely do "normal" people ever help because they are clueless to the struggles and often speak from a place of ignorance and with a lack of compassion.

Most counselors are people who were, and often are still, broken. They've simply managed to move to a healthier state of their brokeness.

This idea that "normal" people will raise up "broken" people is often false. Because such people rarely want to be with anyone broken because they tend to have a negative view of such people. And due to their inability to understand or relate they typically do a poor job in handling broken people in a healthy and fruitful manner.

Funny how in one post you're putting down "damaged goods", and even stating that "normal" people wouldn't want them. Then suddenly you change gears and now claim to be broken yourself and how broken people should seek out normal people.
Seems a rather extreme change. Motives questionable at best.