Why Does Society Seem to Think That Cougars... Should Be Shot? (Older Woman and Younger Men.)

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kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,631
1,426
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#41
Ouch! You are really down on romantic relationships/marriage, aren't you? (I assume some people are 'set for singleness', but that's not the position you're expressing.) You speak of looking at others' relationships/marriages/divorces as your reason for seeing them as 'nightmares', but naturally, I assume your current impressions come from your own experiences with romantic/mate love. Am I right? What was the last one like? My last dating relationship was very painful and crushing to my self-esteem (the human experience, not my worth as a son of God). I made some mistakes, had misperceptions, but ultimately it always comes down to you have to get involved to see if your a match, comes with the territory.
My views are from what I have seen and historical experiences.

Your last relationship that you shared, further gives evidence to what I hold to be true.

Best of luck of finding your soul mate, whether that be a cougar, or someone closer to your age.

Watch out for them cougars, they are sneaky. lol

 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
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#42
Predator and prey. Predators, men and women, have always preyed on those younger or weaker than themselves and that is probably why others say cougars ought to be shot....in other words, pick on someone your own size. Abusive marriages happen when someone has all the power and control.if you like to control someone or be controlled...it will happen in a marriage more likely than not. You are not bound together till death unless you marry. The reason why divorce is allowed is basically a mercy to stop couples from killing each other.
 

notmyown

Senior Member
May 26, 2016
4,586
1,046
113
#43
My views are from what I have seen and historical experiences.

Your last relationship that you shared, further gives evidence to what I hold to be true.

Best of luck of finding your soul mate, whether that be a cougar, or someone closer to your age.

Watch out for them cougars, they are sneaky. lol
welp. i don't belong in this forum, but i wanted to add to what you have 'seen'.

now you've met a woman who's married to her favorite person on the planet, and we just celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary last weekend. we're both still very glad we're married, and would like nothing better than another 41 years.

throw that in with your experience lol.

to God alone be the glory!
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,631
1,426
113
#44
welp. i don't belong in this forum, but i wanted to add to what you have 'seen'.

now you've met a woman who's married to her favorite person on the planet, and we just celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary last weekend. we're both still very glad we're married, and would like nothing better than another 41 years.

throw that in with your experience lol.

to God alone be the glory!
That's really NOT my experience, rather yours, but I'm glad you met your mate, and are happy.

Happy Anniversary!
 

Kireina

Well-known member
Aug 26, 2020
1,439
1,365
113
#45
My first and second relationship were 10-13 years younger than me... They got no problem with the large age gap I was the one who was not comfortable with our age difference lol

I think nowadays people are more easy than before... but the stigma is still there towards women who are dating younger men or if a woman is married to a younger man...

As a woman in her 4O's(I am 43) it is hard to find a man like my age most of the men who are in their 40's are married already, if they are not married yet some of them are also looking for women younger than them 😄 lol it is hard to adjust if you are in your 40's 😅 and harder to count the numbers when looking for someone...

I am more careful now and prefer men older than me or at least the same age like me but the ones who show interest in me are the younger ones...5- 13 years younger Lol so I guess I'll just be single forever because to be called a cougar is quite harsh 😱 but I don't know what's God's plan for me in the future 🙏


I still believe that love does not see the age of the person...

In my opinion if both are legally consenting( when I say consenting I mean there is no hidden wicked involvement of money or force or manipulations) adults the relationship should not be an issue to anyone...
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,696
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#46
My first and second relationship were 10-13 years younger than me... They got no problem with the large age gap I was the one who was not comfortable with our age difference lol

I think nowadays people are more easy than before... but the stigma is still there towards women who are dating younger men or if a woman is married to a younger man...

As a woman in her 4O's(I am 43) it is hard to find a man like my age most of the men who are in their 40's are married already, if they are not married yet some of them are also looking for women younger than them 😄 lol it is hard to adjust if you are in your 40's 😅 and harder to count the numbers when looking for someone...

I am more careful now and prefer men older than me or at least the same age like me but the ones who show interest in me are the younger ones...5- 13 years younger Lol so I guess I'll just be single forever because to be called a cougar is quite harsh 😱 but I don't know what's God's plan for me in the future 🙏


I still believe that love does not see the age of the person...

In my opinion if both are legally consenting( when I say consenting I mean there is no hidden wicked involvement of money or force or manipulations) adults the relationship should not be an issue to anyone...
I know one old Oyster who really has the whoopy-doopy-ga-ga-las for an young lady dat is 10 years younger den 'im!:eek::unsure::love:
 

phil36

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2009
8,260
2,111
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51
#47
I know one old Oyster who really has the whoopy-doopy-ga-ga-las for an young lady dat is 10 years younger den 'im!:eek::unsure::love:
Now your gonna have to explain what whoopy-doopy-ga-ga-las is ? :unsure::unsure: :LOL::ROFL:(y)
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#49
"Stand before" doesn't mean she was literally standing in front of him so he could look at her. She was lying with him. Basically she was functioning as a space heater.
which is why I don't understand why she had to be a virgin ??
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,696
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#50
But if he didn't have sex with her why did he require that she be a virgin? That's what I can't understand
David and friends were certainly not the poster boys for purity, and neither were their sons.
 

EnglishChick

Well-known member
Apr 20, 2021
673
349
63
42
England UK
#51
1 Kings 1
New International Version

1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”
3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.

Scripture doesn't say she undressed or have sex but simply to lay beside him.

I simply see this as her body heat is what helped keep him warm. And possibly the rush of hormones or oxytocin helped the blood flow. Actually a very wise move in medical care for ancient times.
but a non virgin could have fulfilled that role perfectly well?
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,327
2,358
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#53
which is why I don't understand why she had to be a virgin ??
Probably so there were no paternity issues or accusations.

An interesting sidebar to that story is when David was about to die, his son Adonijah tried to steal the throne from Solomon. His attempt failed and he ended up having to acknowledge Solomon as king, and in return was spared provided he remained loyal. Not too long after (but after David passed away) he went to Solomon's mother all humble and peaceful sounding and asked her to ask Solomon to let him marry Abishag (the virgin hot water bottle). Solomon was furious and saw that as handing over the kingdom to his brother and killed him off as a disloyal rival. (1 Kings 1-2)

I suppose that a huge part of that was because even though she hadn't been an official wife to David and never had marital relations with him, she'd still been considered one of the king's women / part of his harem. And since under OT law you were either considered a virgin or a married woman (if you were caught having pre-marital sex you were forced to marry or executed) it had to be a virigin and not a married woman they brought in to add to the king's harem even if not for the purposes of sex. That's my guess but it seems rather logical.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,696
113
#54
This thread is going to stinky-sticky land really fast.:confused:
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
4,451
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#55
but a non virgin could have fulfilled that role perfectly well?
True but beyond the text we can only speculate why the chose a virgin. Possibly it was due to the meaning of a Biblical virgin which goes beyond our idea of a modern virgin. A Biblical virgin could be one who had not had sex yet, not married, young, or of good heart. Spiritually a virgin can be a new believer as we are created new.


2 Corinthians 11:2
King James Version

2 For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

So really it it may just be a young women who has abstained from sexual relations, has a good heart, not married, and dedicated to God.
 

oyster67

Senior Member
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,696
113
#59
:love: The new day breaketh forth fresh as the morning Lotus flower... :love: