Sinful lust or normally functioning hormones?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,491
5,425
113
#81
So here is the thing, when it comes down to the actual stressful points where people are likely before they are gonna need a short and Direct answer. No one is going to remember these lengthy post
I do have a tendency to write long posts and always have, and probably always will. It's just my writing style.

It's completely up to the readers whether or not they want to read long posts. That's the beauty of forums -- you can skip over anything you don't want to read. 🤓

I know that for myself, I have also learned a lot from fellow "long post" posters as well.

Different things work for different people. 🙂
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#82
I do have a tendency to write long posts and always have, and probably always will. It's just my writing style.

It's completely up to the readers whether or not they want to read long posts. That's the beauty of forums -- you can skip over anything you don't want to read. 🤓

I know that for myself, I have also learned a lot from fellow "long post" posters as well.

Different things work for different people. 🙂
Sorry I didn't mean the length of the post. I meant the depth of the ideas was needed.....but somehow when the Education is delivered the message needs to be made in a very simple way that people can remember when they feel tested
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#83
I do have a tendency to write long posts and always have, and probably always will. It's just my writing style.

It's completely up to the readers whether or not they want to read long posts. That's the beauty of forums -- you can skip over anything you don't want to read. 🤓

I know that for myself, I have also learned a lot from fellow "long post" posters as well.

Different things work for different people. 🙂
Your ability to write shows your ability to think and communicate well. Something to be proud of
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#84
I do have a tendency to write long posts and always have, and probably always will. It's just my writing style.

It's completely up to the readers whether or not they want to read long posts. That's the beauty of forums -- you can skip over anything you don't want to read. 🤓

I know that for myself, I have also learned a lot from fellow "long post" posters as well.

Different things work for different people. 🙂
I guess I am looking back at how it was being in my teens or 20s and not having clarity on how to cope with the test of Sin despite long discourse on on the topic
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#85
I do have a tendency to write long posts and always have, and probably always will. It's just my writing style.

It's completely up to the readers whether or not they want to read long posts. That's the beauty of forums -- you can skip over anything you don't want to read. 🤓

I know that for myself, I have also learned a lot from fellow "long post" posters as well.

Different things work for different people. 🙂
Have I made you feel angry?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,491
5,425
113
#86
Have I made you feel angry?
Not at all -- I completely understand what you're saying. 🙂

I just didn't want you to feel frustrated or discouraged by long posts in general, not just mine.

I actually agree with you that shorter posts are often easier to digest, but there are several gifted writers on the site whose posts you will find to be lengthier.

Feel free to do what's best for you, and if a post seems too long or isn't speaking to you, feel free to skip over it. 🙂
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#87
Not at all -- I completely understand what you're saying. 🙂

I just didn't want you to feel frustrated or discouraged by long posts in general, not just mine.

I actually agree with you that shorter posts are often easier to digest, but there are several gifted writers on the site whose posts you will find to be lengthier.

Feel free to do what's best for you, and if a post seems too long or isn't speaking to you, feel free to skip over it. 🙂
I was thinking more about how to translate the message to the tic-toc generation. I was shocked to hear about how the online world is hampering relationships for new couples. And I'm thinking. What are the alternatives being offered to them.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,491
5,425
113
#88
I was thinking more about how to translate the message to the tic-toc generation. I was shocked to hear about how the online world is hampering relationships for new couples. And I'm thinking. What are the alternatives being offered to them.
I understand what you're saying.

I certainly can't claim this about everything I write, but sometimes when I contemplate writing something but am afraid of boring people, it feels like God is telling me that it's not for everyone and I'm actually writing to a silent audience that isn't answering, and that's ok.

It's great that you have modern audiences on your mind. I'm sure most of us these days have shorter attention spans due to social media.

Maybe you have a calling to reach such people?

I have tried very hard to stay off most other popular social media sites just to avoid the drama, so I can freely admit I'm not geared to reach the Tik Tok-type audiences very effectively.
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#89
I understand what you're saying.

I certainly can't claim this about everything I write, but sometimes when I contemplate writing something but am afraid of boring people, it feels like God is telling me that it's not for everyone and I'm actually writing to a silent audience that isn't answering, and that's ok.

It's great that you have modern audiences on your mind. I'm sure most of us these days have shorter attention spans due to social media.

Maybe you have a calling to reach such people?

I have tried very hard to stay off most other popular social media sites just to avoid the drama, so I can freely admit I'm not geared to reach the Tik Tok-type audiences very effectively.
I have only a few decades of failure and mistakes to share. But the new generation needs good people like u
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,347
9,367
113
#90
Tik-Tok synopsis of this thread:

All the church does is say "Sex is bad... until you get married, so get married... then you're automatically expected to know all about it the first night."

We need to be better at teaching people how to have realistic expectations and differentiate between sin and normal sex drive.

How do we fix this in the church and get better at teaching people?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,347
9,367
113
#91
(Okay, maybe "differentiate" would go over the Tik-Tok heads... Surely they can infer the meaning from context.)
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
#92
As a guy I know I was given only beatings for sin younger. What I didn't get was on advice on how to cope. But now I have seen the others from my church did not decline. So there must be lessons to learn from them. I'm sure there is a huge wealth of wisdom to be shared. I'm trying to heal myself. So I'm not in a position to advise. But I would not want others to lose the best years of their life if as I did.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
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#93
Fine, let's clarify terms. What's the difference between lust / sex drive and desire to make love to someone? And I think you touched on it before with the idea that it's the difference between wanting to have something for yourself and wanting to do something for someone else and have them as part of your life long term. But realistically most people have a desire for greater physical intimacy than is appropriate before they are married (I've even heard some speakers say that if this isn't an area of struggle the couple should rethink getting married because they don't seem to be very attracted to each other), so how do you in that case know if those desires are tending in a godly direction or a sinful direction (since we should also admit that marriage does not automatically sanctify all types and forms of sexual activity)?
Acceptable sexual lust- the physical attraction set forth by biological responses to mate with an eligible single individual.

Unholy sexual lust- sexual attraction to anyone married, related or same sex...or an animal.

Acceptable sexual fulfillment- agreed upon sexual acts of married people. I would suggest the damage caused by anal sex and the Mosaic aversion to feces would eliminate this act.

Unacceptable sexual fulfillment- sex with anyone other than your spouse. Pleasuring yourself to thoughts of real people who are married, or related. Sexual contact with married individuals, same sex, relatives or animals. Paying for any sexual deeds.

Undetermined- Mutual masterbation and even oral sex are not explicitly forbidden outside of marriage. This is one left to your conscience. If it feels like sin, to you it’s sin. I expect that any born again believer wouldn’t be hooking up with random individuals for casual “play”. Masterbation again is not prohibited. What you fantasize about might be tainting the innocence of it, however.

There is purpose to what God determines is holy and unclean. Sex produces children. Inheritance and lineage were major factors at the time of Mosaic law. Sex was not. Polygamy and concubines were legitimate. Sex can be used as leverage. It can emotionally destroy people, shame some and enslave others. We as the Body of Christ are supposed to be spiritually motivated but still reside in this corruptible flesh. Like Paul said, if your hormones are untameable then it is better to get married rather than be tempted to sin.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#94
Undetermined- Mutual masterbation and even oral sex are not explicitly forbidden outside of marriage. This is one left to your conscience. If it feels like sin, to you it’s sin. I expect that any born again believer wouldn’t be hooking up with random individuals for casual “play”. Masterbation again is not prohibited. What you fantasize about might be tainting the innocence of it, however.
UNDETERMINED???

Are you serious?

Oral sex is sex...Mutual masturbation is the same thing. It doesn't matter what you think about while your doing it. They are sex acts and it's all for the same goal and that is getting off sexually. There is no difference in intercourse and oral sex or mutual masturbation. They all reach the same end goal.

According to scripture, the only way to legitimately gratify sexual desire through sex acts is to get married.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#95
UNDETERMINED???

Are you serious?

Oral sex is sex...Mutual masturbation is the same thing. It doesn't matter what you think about while your doing it. They are sex acts and it's all for the same goal and that is getting off sexually. There is no difference in intercourse and oral sex or mutual masturbation. They all reach the same end goal.

According to scripture, the only way to legitimately gratify sexual desire through sex acts is to get married.
If you find anything in the Bible stating that specifically you are welcome to submit the quote and prove yourself accurate. Other than that it is your opinion.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
113
#96
This will probably be the last time I post on this thread.

Seems everyone already has their minds made up anyways.

So here is one place I see where the church is failing in educating others about this topic.

They are not actually teaching scripture anymore and are not educating others on the importance of following God's ways. People need to know the importance of walking in the Spirit and not the flesh (not just pertaining to sex but in all things).

However, no one really wants to do that anymore. People want to please their flesh and not God. Most churches are appeasing others and telling them it's perfectly fine. They are not teaching how to overcome the flesh through the Spirit.

On the other hand, if someone does point out sin and how to overcome it, then they are viewed and judged as condemning or belittling others.

Why? Because some people already have their minds made up....They want to justify the flesh and please themselves and not God.

In conclusion, if anyone wants help to overcome this, then turn your thoughts over to God walk with him in the Spirit and you will overcome through Jesus Christ.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#97
This will probably be the last time I post on this thread.

Seems everyone already has their minds made up anyways.

So here is one place I see where the church is failing in educating others about this topic.

They are not actually teaching scripture anymore and are not educating others on the importance of following God's ways. People need to know the importance of walking in the Spirit and not the flesh (not just pertaining to sex but in all things).

However, no one really wants to do that anymore. People want to please their flesh and not God. Most churches are appeasing others and telling them it's perfectly fine. They are not teaching how to overcome the flesh through the Spirit.

On the other hand, if someone does point out sin and how to overcome it, then they are viewed and judged as condemning or belittling others.

Why? Because some people already have their minds made up....They want to justify the flesh and please themselves and not God.

In conclusion, if anyone wants help to overcome this, then turn your thoughts over to God walk with him in the Spirit and you will overcome through Jesus Christ.
I agree fully with your statements. The Christian shouldn’t need to look in the Bible to determine whether their lusts are holy or unholy. They who walk in the Spirit have the Laws written on their hearts. I merely provided what was written. The danger in that is that the worldly minded individuals will walk as close to that line as possible often overstepping. The other danger is guilt that babes in Christ harbour because the transition is new and the flesh clings on inescapably. You are 100% accurate that clarity comes from aligning yourself with the mind of God and walking in the Spirit.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,347
9,367
113
#98
This will probably be the last time I post on this thread.

Seems everyone already has their minds made up anyways.

So here is one place I see where the church is failing in educating others about this topic.

They are not actually teaching scripture anymore and are not educating others on the importance of following God's ways. People need to know the importance of walking in the Spirit and not the flesh (not just pertaining to sex but in all things).

However, no one really wants to do that anymore. People want to please their flesh and not God. Most churches are appeasing others and telling them it's perfectly fine. They are not teaching how to overcome the flesh through the Spirit.

On the other hand, if someone does point out sin and how to overcome it, then they are viewed and judged as condemning or belittling others.

Why? Because some people already have their minds made up....They want to justify the flesh and please themselves and not God.

In conclusion, if anyone wants help to overcome this, then turn your thoughts over to God walk with him in the Spirit and you will overcome through Jesus Christ.
In the area where I live we have a lot of churches that say "turn your thoughts over to God, walk with Him in the Spirit and you will overcome through Jesus Christ." We also have some churches that say "it's okay, you can do what you want and God will understand because He's a loving God.

Both don't really help a whole lot.

What we NEED, and what the thread OP is trying to find, is a way for the church to actually teach people about the topic instead of just teaching them to avoid even thinking or talking about the topic. "Turn your thoughts over to God" is just more of "no, no, we don't talk about that subject." As single Christians all we ever hear is "Just pray, read your Bible and don't even think about sex because you're single, and for Heaven's sake don't ever, ever ask any questions about anything remotely related to sex. Just turn your thoughts over to God and purify yourself of those lustful thoughts."

It ain't really helping. The church needs to teach about the topic instead of just adjuring people to avoid even thinking about it until they are married.
 
L

listenyoumust

Guest
#99
When salvation comes for the believer ,along within there is sanctification . LUSTFUL SIN is what its called .
 

MatthewWestfieldUK

Well-known member
May 13, 2021
871
498
63
In the area where I live we have a lot of churches that say "turn your thoughts over to God, walk with Him in the Spirit and you will overcome through Jesus Christ." We also have some churches that say "it's okay, you can do what you want and God will understand because He's a loving God.

Both don't really help a whole lot.

What we NEED, and what the thread OP is trying to find, is a way for the church to actually teach people about the topic instead of just teaching them to avoid even thinking or talking about the topic. "Turn your thoughts over to God" is just more of "no, no, we don't talk about that subject." As single Christians all we ever hear is "Just pray, read your Bible and don't even think about sex because you're single, and for Heaven's sake don't ever, ever ask any questions about anything remotely related to sex. Just turn your thoughts over to God and purify yourself of those lustful thoughts."

It ain't really helping. The church needs to teach about the topic instead of just adjuring people to avoid even thinking about it until they are married.[/
I have lots of questions to ask them in public feels awkward