age discrimination

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Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
It was suggested in another thread that it would be okay for a guy in his 40s to date a woman in her 30s, but not okay for a woman in her 30s to date a guy in his 20s.

So, tell me –

Would it be okay for a woman in her 40s to date a guy in his 30s?

Would it be okay for a man in his 30s to date a woman in her 20s?

Is age discrimination against women the only acceptable form of discrimination?

Just curious J
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#2
#2
Yes it is all okay. You cant help who you like as long as it is legal.

I personally prefer 10 -15 years older but some people may say thats too much, but I have my reasons.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#3
#3
I tend to be interested in older guys too, Amber. They seem to understand me better. haha :)

I guess it's just the idea of someone telling me that I can't do something that ruffles my feathers, especially something so clearly discriminatory. Maybe it's my rebel nature, but when someone tells me I CAN'T, it makes me want to do that very thing, as long as it's not ungodly. hahaha
 
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1

1still_waters

Guest
#4
#4
It appears to be a double standard. Heck it may be a double standard. But why is this belief out there in the first place?

Well many believe the man should be the leader. Leaders have a certain amount of wisdom. Some say wisdom comes with age.

Well if the woman is significantly older than the guy, maybe it's viewed that she's got more life experience, is significantly wiser and it would make the leadership role for the guy more difficult?

Some may wonder how it's possible for a guy with less life experience to lead in a relationship with a woman who has more wisdom and life experience...
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#5
#5
Of course some women will say the woman is wiser than the man regardless of age..so my observations above don't matter. :p
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
That could be...

I'm reminded of the Old Testament story about the widow who was to marry her deceased husband's younger brother by law and was told to go home to her family and wait until he was old enough to marry her. So, clearly age discrimination is a new thing and is not biblical, right?
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#7
#7
Since we are talking about age I also want to add a little about telling people they are too young for this and that especially here on CC.

I have noticed that many times we may tell someone who posts something about wanting to find a mate, that they are too young or the have plenty of time. This may be true from your perspective, but in many cultures around the world people get married alot younger than in western society. Even here in the States in sub cultures we can see that. I am from the United Pentecostal Church and those girls get married so early. At 27 I am an old maid. The women close to my age have at least 2 kids by now maybe more.

Right now in my life nothing chaps my hide more than someone telling me I have plenty of time. I just want to say "Really Betty? You're 35, been happily married for 15yrs and have 6 kids." Thats real easy for you to say, you've got what you want. Or sometimes it will be someone on the opposite extreme. 35 dating freely dont really care to ever get married doesnt really want children.

I mean seriously, is there some magic age when that desire to start a family is supposed to kick in? If so, what is it? 30? 34? No how about 40?
 
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Bradley

Guest
#8
#8
I'm an older guy! :)
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#9
#9
1still_waters said:
It appears to be a double standard. Heck it may be a double standard. But why is this belief out there in the first place?

Well many believe the man should be the leader. Leaders have a certain amount of wisdom. Some say wisdom comes with age.

Well if the woman is significantly older than the guy, maybe it's viewed that she's got more life experience, is significantly wiser and it would make the leadership role for the guy more difficult?

Some may wonder how it's possible for a guy with less life experience to lead in a relationship with a woman who has more wisdom and life experience...
Click to expand...

Thats how I feel. I am pretty settled with who I am, I know my likes and dislikes and I need someone who is in that same place and knows exactly what they want. I have found that men my age or a little older are not a settled yet. They still are playing the field, Trying to figure out career or don't know where they want to live. I dont have time for all of that.

****I know all 25-32yr old men arent like this.
 
B

Bradley

Guest
#11
#11
NO!!!!!....NEVER!!!!!!......I wouldn't do that!!!!!!............yes....yes I am.....
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#12
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#12
I feel it should be more of a maturity thing than an age thing... Often the two go hand in hand though. - edit - I am talking about christian maturity.
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#13
#13
I agree with Stuey. Maturity is the issue, whether or not she's older. A ten-year difference is only a big deal when say the couple is 17 and 27. The maturity gap is not nearly so great between 27 and 37, however. The willingness of an older woman to submit to her younger mate and whether the younger mate is up to leading is also an issue. And then spiritual maturity is the biggest issue. A women who's been saved for 10 years becoming involved with a man who just got saved will see some issues.. not that they can't be overcome with time and as he grows, but the issues are real and not to be taken lightly.

I believe this is an issue that cannot be black-and-white in most cases. Different scenarios for different life stories, and different standards therefore. Permissible versus acceptable, versus just a clash with the norm.
 
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evelina

Guest
#16
#16
i think age dont have to matter its just a number ....
it all depense on the person .... how mature they are 'n' stuff
btw. my aunt is seven years older than my uncle and they live HAPPILY EVER AFTER lol :D and they have a LOT of kids :D
 
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Jordache

Guest
#17
#17
Maturity really is the issue. There is general maturity like do you know how to take care of yourself. Then there's spiritual maturity. Both are necessary. There are many issues that are associated with such an age separation. This is not to say that it's wrong, but it should be take with great caution and wisdom. My mother's husband is 14 years younger than she is. My brother's wife is 14 years older. My first boyfriend was 8 years older than I was and I was 18 when we started dating. My mom and dad were also 11 years apart. Please hear me: this is not the case for everyone, but it can't be very difficult if it is. Many people are attracted to what they didn't have growing up. Unfortunately, most people who are have no idea that they are choosing this way. In this day and age with so many broken homes it's no wonder that we see women going for older men and vice versa. Conversly, because there is no help in the home kids are growing up later and later... Therefore a girl who grew up too early, who began taking care of things when she was a teenager has no way to relate to a boy who was raised by no one and has decided to live the life of a child. All in all, I do not mean to judge anyone. I know the age gap in a relationship can mean very little but just as in every relationship, proceed with great caution.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#19
#19
I have learned my lesson about the young guys.... So there a huge and big fat no no. I dont think women should date younger, they should mostly go older.

The guy im with is 1 year older than i am... well actually two years older. My math is abismal as well as my spelling, but i think you all get my point.

SO ANYWAYS.....

He's real calm, focused, goal oriented, and reliable. I like that a lot. With younger guys they seem like there all over the place, there very irresponsible, there mostly all about feelings and basically whatever they feel is how it goes. I find with older guys there more logical. Which is what i really really like.
 
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SubCruceSalus

Guest
#20
#20
My ex was older than me by 4 years. It doesn't really matter in my opinion, in fact I am usually attracted to young ladies that are older than me because generally they're more mature.
 
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