LET´S BE FRIENDS FIRST! SEAMOS AMIGOS PRIMERO!

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Gabriel97

Gabriel97

New member
#1
Dec 6, 2018
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#1
What do you think about friendship before dating? ¿Qué piensas de la amistad previa a una relación más íntima?

THIS IS OPEN TO SPANISH SPEAKERS AND ENGLISH SPEAKERS.

@MarthaALopez @GogoSkopje
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
27,415
9,402
113
#2
What do I think about it? I think it's kinda... blatant.
 
kinda

kinda

Senior Member
#3
Jun 26, 2013
3,931
1,506
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#3
Lynx said:
What do I think about it? I think it's kinda... blatant.
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Am I obvious? I need to mix it up more maybe.

On a serious note, my neighbor just gave me some flowers, and both previous jobs some co-workers fell for me, ladies get away with murder. If I acted like this towards a woman at work, I would never hear the end of it, just saying. Is it possible, when you no longer interested in dating, woman find that attractive?

Hola Gabriel, Buenos dias. (o.k., that's all I got). When I went to Spain, they told me to just speak English. lol

Relationships are complicated. I'm starting to think, it might be a good idea on a first date, to bring this potential love of your life, to meet your parents. Let them ask some questions, so you can get some feedback, and maybe just talk on the phone, to find out who they are. Could save money and time.

Personally, I think it's better to stay single, but if you must tie the knot, why not start off slow? Like no dating, just talk on the phone, and make sure this person is worth your time?!?!
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#4
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
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#4
What I have gathered from years of listening to people talk:

When a guy says he wants to be friends, he means I don't find you attractive but you are enjoyable company.

When a girl says let's be friends she can mean anything from, "I'm too nice to turn you down outright" to "woah dude you're moving way too fast let me get to know you before any suggestion that you might want to move things along physically."

And I think both genders can use "let's be friends" to mean I want to keep you around but not willing to commit and limit my options because I think there's better out there.

Or there's post relationship where let's be friends means.... ok if I can't have what I want I'll settle for the consolation prize instead of not getting anything at all.
 
Gabriel97

Gabriel97

New member
#5
Dec 6, 2018
16
14
3
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#5
kinda said:
Am I obvious? I need to mix it up more maybe.

On a serious note, my neighbor just gave me some flowers, and both previous jobs some co-workers fell for me, ladies get away with murder. If I acted like this towards a woman at work, I would never hear the end of it, just saying. Is it possible, when you no longer interested in dating, woman find that attractive?

Hola Gabriel, Buenos dias. (o.k., that's all I got). When I went to Spain, they told me to just speak English. lol

Relationships are complicated. I'm starting to think, it might be a good idea on a first date, to bring this potential love of your life, to meet your parents. Let them ask some questions, so you can get some feedback, and maybe just talk on the phone, to find out who they are. Could save money and time.

Personally, I think it's better to stay single, but if you must tie the knot, why not start off slow? Like no dating, just talk on the phone, and make sure this person is worth your time?!?!
Click to expand...
Thank you brother for your intervention. It is very constructive.
 
oyster67

oyster67

Senior Member
#7
May 24, 2014
11,887
8,705
113
#7
cinder said:
When a guy says he wants to be friends, he means I don't find you attractive but you are enjoyable company.
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Yeah, this is what girls think, guys! I found this out yesterday on a different thread!! Found it out the hard way! I ended up having to explain to her that she was pretty and that she was my #1 rosebud!;)(y)
 
Gabriel97

Gabriel97

New member
#8
Dec 6, 2018
16
14
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#8
cinder said:
What I have gathered from years of listening to people talk:

When a guy says he wants to be friends, he means I don't find you attractive but you are enjoyable company.

When a girl says let's be friends she can mean anything from, "I'm too nice to turn you down outright" to "woah dude you're moving way too fast let me get to know you before any suggestion that you might want to move things along physically."

And I think both genders can use "let's be friends" to mean I want to keep you around but not willing to commit and limit my options because I think there's better out there.

Or there's post relationship where let's be friends means.... ok if I can't have what I want I'll settle for the consolation prize instead of not getting anything at all.
Click to expand...
Interesting intervention. Thanks for your input Cinder.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#9
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#9
I think it means

You can watch Friends on TV rather than go out to hang out at the coffee shop, as we all know the first date has to be at a coffee shop, to save money.
 
Gabriel97

Gabriel97

New member
#10
Dec 6, 2018
16
14
3
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#10
Lanolin said:
I think it means

You can watch Friends on TV rather than go out to hang out at the coffee shop, as we all know the first date has to be at a coffee shop, to save money.
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That is a good point, my mate!
 
EmilyNats

EmilyNats

Senior Member
#11
Jul 28, 2016
1,374
205
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#11
Absolutely! The person you marry should be your closest friend, so getting to know them as a friend first (at least for a little bit) only makes sense to me.
 
HumbleOne

HumbleOne

Active member
#12
Jul 10, 2021
132
70
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#12
Be friends for a month or two is safest.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#16
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
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Tennessee
#16
HumbleOne said:
Relationships are friendships.
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I guess I prefer to cut to the chase. If you find a person who you would consider dating why choose to become friends first You can become friends during the dating process. My understanding of the OP is the becoming of friends first would exclude anything remotely intimate or romantic. Seems kind of lame to me. Now, there may be instances when you are already friends when suddenly you see the relationship in a whole different light.
 
HumbleOne

HumbleOne

Active member
#17
Jul 10, 2021
132
70
28
#17
tourist said:
I guess I prefer to cut to the chase. If you find a person who you would consider dating why choose to become friends first You can become friends during the dating process. My understanding of the OP is the becoming of friends first would exclude anything remotely intimate or romantic. Seems kind of lame to me. Now, there may be instances when you are already friends when suddenly you see the relationship in a whole different light.
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Interesting. It has been said that a person shows who they turely are in the months.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#19
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,419
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#19
tourist said:
I guess I prefer to cut to the chase. If you find a person who you would consider dating why choose to become friends first You can become friends during the dating process. My understanding of the OP is the becoming of friends first would exclude anything remotely intimate or romantic. Seems kind of lame to me. Now, there may be instances when you are already friends when suddenly you see the relationship in a whole different light.
Click to expand...
Some of this may be a generational thing. For younger generations the lines between friendship and dating get so blurred that wanting to be friends first basically means wanting to take some time to get to know each other before rushing in to the physical / sexual. At least in Christian circles that's what it means. In some circles it may mean I just want to fool around with you but not actually commit or be tied down to anything.
 
Desdichado

Desdichado

Senior Member
#20
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
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#20
I was friends with the last two girls I dated before going out.

It's possible, but you have to be interesting and keep up the charm offensive.
 
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