It's good to be single.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
SomeDisciple

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
#1
Jul 4, 2021
2,265
1,048
113
#1
I met a beautiful woman yesterday. She looked amazing; she had this long dirty-blonde hair, a nice smile, blah-blah-blah. Of course she has these tight pants on, because that's what they do.

We're stuck in the same room, so we get talking and she was like "you married/ have kids?" and I was like "nope. not really interested in that at the moment" and she was like "DONT GET MARRIED IT"S A WASTE OF TIME!"

It's those little moments, when I think... You know what, it's good to be single. Praise the Lord.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
27,328
9,354
113
#2
Yeah. I get that feeling every time somebody at the job is talking about an ex-somebody and how "I'm gonna get (ex) just you wait! I'll sock (ex) with so much legal junk (ex) won't know what hit (ex)!"

Mmmm, I just LOVE being single!

Something closer to what you related: One day at church I saw a five year old boy run past, with his mother in pursuit. A minute later she came back through with boy in tow. She glanced at me with a harried look.

I observed, "You know, people tell me that I need to settle down, find a good woman and raise some kids."

She said, "Yeah, no. If you want a kid, get a dog and keep it for five years first."
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,054
113
69
Tennessee
#3
SomeDisciple said:
I met a beautiful woman yesterday. She looked amazing; she had this long dirty-blonde hair, a nice smile, blah-blah-blah. Of course she has these tight pants on, because that's what they do.

We're stuck in the same room, so we get talking and she was like "you married/ have kids?" and I was like "nope. not really interested in that at the moment" and she was like "DONT GET MARRIED IT"S A WASTE OF TIME!"

It's those little moments, when I think... You know what, it's good to be single. Praise the Lord.
Click to expand...
What if she said "That's too bad" instead of "DON'T GET MARRIED IT'S A WASTE OF TIME!" ?
 
SomeDisciple

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
#4
Jul 4, 2021
2,265
1,048
113
#4
tourist said:
What if she said "That's too bad" instead of "DON'T GET MARRIED IT'S A WASTE OF TIME!" ?
Click to expand...
I am legit not looking right now, and I'm not into girls that wear tight pants; so it's not like it would have been a loss. But there was a time when seeing a woman like her would make me think that I was missing out on something in life... and... I am!

I'm missing out on DIVORCE
I'm missing out on PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND NOT SEEING MY KIDS
I'm missing out on aaaaall that drama!

poor me.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,054
113
69
Tennessee
#5
SomeDisciple said:
I am legit not looking right now, and I'm not into girls that wear tight pants; so it's not like it would have been a loss. But there was a time when seeing a woman like her would make me think that I was missing out on something in life... and... I am!

I'm missing out on DIVORCE
I'm missing out on PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND NOT SEEING MY KIDS
I'm missing out on aaaaall that drama!

poor me.
Click to expand...
I have lived and survived in the drama that you have described. On the plus side I have an adult daughter and 5 grand kids. It's not all bad.
 
SomeDisciple

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
#6
Jul 4, 2021
2,265
1,048
113
#6
tourist said:
I have lived and survived in the drama that you have described. On the plus side I have an adult daughter and 5 grand kids. It's not all ba
Click to expand...
Believe me when I say I mean no disrespect, because I don't... If marriage was easy nobody would get divorced. But that's not the life I want for myself- but moreso for any kids that I would have.
I "survived" it too- as a kid of divorced parents. I lived in a welfare motel for a year eating ramen and hot dogs& macaroni for dinner most nights. The owners of the motel were scumbags and threatened my mother all the time... so when you say it's "not all that bad"... It's not all that good either.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#7
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,054
113
69
Tennessee
#7
SomeDisciple said:
Believe me when I say I mean no disrespect, because I don't... If marriage was easy nobody would get divorced. But that's not the life I want for myself- but moreso for any kids that I would have.
I "survived" it too- as a kid of divorced parents. I lived in a welfare motel for a year eating ramen and hot dogs& macaroni for dinner most nights. The owners of the motel were scumbags and threatened my mother all the time... so when you say it's "not all that bad"... It's not all that good either.
Click to expand...
Depends on who you marry I suppose. I would not advise anyone to get married. I would however, if asked to do so, offer my opinion on a prospective spouse. No, it's not all good either, for me or my daughter. After the divorce, I was single and celibate for 18 years. Didn't need all of that drama.
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#8
Mar 18, 2021
5,326
3,145
113
#8
Lynx said:
Yeah. I get that feeling every time somebody at the job is talking about an ex-somebody and how "I'm gonna get (ex) just you wait! I'll sock (ex) with so much legal junk (ex) won't know what hit (ex)!"

Mmmm, I just LOVE being single!

Something closer to what you related: One day at church I saw a five year old boy run past, with his mother in pursuit. A minute later she came back through with boy in tow. She glanced at me with a harried look.

I observed, "You know, people tell me that I need to settle down, find a good woman and raise some kids."

She said, "Yeah, no. If you want a kid, get a dog and keep it for five years first."
Click to expand...
It's easy to be negative. Of all people, Christians should be able to rejoice in family. Sure it's hard. It's worth it. A good relationship is a great blessing. If we allow the ways of the world to influence us, we will not experience God's blessing. If all Christians decide to be childless, then the church loses a generation of people with at least a basic knowledge of the gospel.

Marriage is a great way to break down the innate selfishness that rules us. It's not for everyone, but most people should marry.
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#9
Mar 18, 2021
5,326
3,145
113
#9
tourist said:
I have lived and survived in the drama that you have described. On the plus side I have an adult daughter and 5 grand kids. It's not all bad.
Click to expand...
Likewise. My son has turned out well. I did not see my kids for 15 years. It took a miracle for me to to find them. My son was hostile for a while. Now he is as friendly as a total introvert can be. He works hard and has done well. He works for Apple.

It's not so good with my daughter. I look at the "donut". I can either focus on the hole or enjoy the donut. I'll enjoy the donut, thanks.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#10
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,774
113
#10
SomeDisciple said:
I'm missing out on DIVORCE I'm missing out on PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND NOT SEEING MY KIDS
I'm missing out on aaaaall that drama!
Click to expand...
Staying focused on negatives is never a good thing. So now you should sit down and make a list of all the positives. They will outweigh the negatives.

As for divorce, all you have to do is choose the right person who is totally against divorce, and is also a Christian.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,328
9,354
113
#11
Gideon300 said:
It's easy to be negative. Of all people, Christians should be able to rejoice in family. Sure it's hard. It's worth it. A good relationship is a great blessing. If we allow the ways of the world to influence us, we will not experience God's blessing. If all Christians decide to be childless, then the church loses a generation of people with at least a basic knowledge of the gospel.

Marriage is a great way to break down the innate selfishness that rules us. It's not for everyone, but most people should marry.
Click to expand...
Nehemiah6 said:
Staying focused on negatives is never a good thing. So now you should sit down and make a list of all the positives. They will outweigh the negatives.

As for divorce, all you have to do is choose the right person who is totally against divorce, and is also a Christian.
Click to expand...
No no no... I'm not renouncing marriage and decrying "all those poor suckers who have got trapped in it." With the right person marriage can be a very good thing.

But there ARE a lot of people who have become stuck in a marriage with a very wrong person. I like to celebrate "I may not have found the right one, but thank you Lord I haven't got stuck with one of the wrong ones!"

It's another of those donut situations. Instead of making like a lot of people who focus on the hole and post those "poor, pitiful, single me, I'm so lonely" threads, I take joy in all the junk I have missed by rushing into marriage with the wrong person.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#12
I think there are great things about being a free spirit. Its not for everyone but as a Christ follower I do value my freedom.

Those who are married are bound to their spouse, even when they get divorced, or their partner dies some of them are still bound and weighed down by their partner, or in worse case scenarios, chained. Especially if they are unequally yoked and their spouse doesnt believe.

I think the plight for men and women is when they dont agree on anything. What tends to happen is one will make the decisions and the other will go along with it even if they dont want to, and often to their detriment. You can only do that for so long.

I think children are undoubtedly affected by what happens when their parents split up, but also when they stay together even if the parents dont like each other. Its very rare in marriage for couples to still like each other after 5, 10, 20 years. Maybe if they were the only ones on earth they would have to make do. But I think its rare. When people,marry that doesnt mean temptation automatically stops either.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#13
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#13
I think the selflessness, for many will come when there is children bcause mothers literally give their lives for their children, but its a real shame when dads dont do the same.

I dont think marriage is any guarantee though. I think it does depend on how rich people are in some respects. It costs a lot to feed, clothe and shelter a family, people often just dont know how much it costs until they do it. if a mum has to do all this on her own, shes really stuck.

Imagine if Joseph refused to marry Mary though. Even though the firstborn child she was carrying wasnt technically his. Though he was practically ordered by the angels to marry. And he wasnt even that well off. I think sometimes it takes a miracle. lol
 
OneOfHis

OneOfHis

Well-known member
#14
Mar 24, 2019
1,430
2,208
113
#14
It is good to be single. It is also good to marry.


Both can also be a stumbling or complicated if we are holding on to a bad mindset.


Wether I stay blessed as a single man or am blessed with a woman who I'd appreciate who also would appreciate me in marriage, I have a lot to be grateful for.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
27,328
9,354
113
#15
OneOfHis said:
It is good to be single. It is also good to marry.


Both can also be a stumbling or complicated if we are holding on to a bad mindset.


Wether I stay blessed as a single man or am blessed with a woman who I'd appreciate who also would appreciate me in marriage, I have a lot to be grateful for.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this.
 
SomeDisciple

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
#18
Jul 4, 2021
2,265
1,048
113
#18
Nehemiah6 said:
Staying focused on negatives is never a good thing. So now you should sit down and make a list of all the positives. They will outweigh the negatives.
Click to expand...
Here's a positive. I'm THANKFUL that I don't have to put up with the negative! HA!

I was just telling a story to boost morale for single people, and I get all this "oh, you're just being negative about marriage".

No. I'm thankful. I'm very, very, thankful- and so are so many other single people thankful that they were not deceived by the world to to enter into a bad marriage and pay the consequences.

If you think this is me being smug, then you've got it all twisted. I don't hate married people or divorcees or anything like that, but I AM GLAD that I don't have to go through the things they do.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#19
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,774
113
#19
SomeDisciple said:
f you think this is me being smug...
Click to expand...
This is called "SMUG SINGLENESS" or shall we say "SINGLE SMUGNESS". :LOL:

So here's a passage to chew on: 9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Eccl 4:9-12)
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#20
Mar 13, 2014
42,588
17,054
113
69
Tennessee
#20
Nehemiah6 said:
Staying focused on negatives is never a good thing. So now you should sit down and make a list of all the positives. They will outweigh the negatives.

As for divorce, all you have to do is choose the right person who is totally against divorce, and is also a Christian.
Click to expand...
I fully concur with your estimation.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.