Are there single Christian girls in Finland ?

[Kauko]

How do you attract women? Do you tell women that you are lonely? I guess it did'nt work. Why don't you find your purpose first? Other things that will make your life worthwhile other than finding a woman or alcohol so that your mind will not be idle and you will not be under spiritual attack.

I already have heard this from countless users in this same thread. "Find your purpose" this is what I have done for almost 10 years without any result.

Again, my problem is not in attracting a girl of my interest, the problem is that I cant even find this girl !

 

[seoulsearch]

Are you telling me Im a lost case or what ?

You are 30 years old, demanding that the world and everyone around it work around YOU and must instantly produce everything you want in exactly the way you want it with absolutely no work, effort, or struggle on your part (as you've demonstrated in your thread, you don't even want to read what people have to say -- you keep demanding that others summarize and repeat everything they say FOR you.)

You demonstrate absolutely no effort or even ability (?) to be able to take in information and consider it in a mature fashion, nor have you shown any skills in critical thinking or adult reasoning.

You readily and repeatedly admit you are an untreated alcoholic.

No, I'm not saying you are a lost case.

But, I AM saying that if you don't make vast changes, beginning with yourself, people in your situation generally do not fare well.

And they generally make other people's lives hell, without any consideration for how they affect other people (as you are doing over and over again throughout this thread, not caring about anyone but your own self and what you can get from others.)

 

[seoulsearch]

I already have heard this from countless users in this same thread. "Find your purpose" this is what I have done for almost 10 years without any result.

Again, my problem is not in attracting a girl of my interest, the problem is that I cant even find this girl !

No, your problem is that you won't acknowledge or deal with your actual real problems in the correct order.

The first step is taking crucial, meaningful steps to clean up your own life first, long before you ever start searching for a girl.

 

[Kauko]

THIS: (part of what I left in reply to you earlier, I don't intend for this to sound mean, so please don't take it as such. I know cultural differences and understandings can sometimes cause us to misunderstand what others are trying to tell us.........


do you not understand what I am saying below and have already said?
Because if I have to re word it for you to understand then I'll try to.
But I won't play games, and I wont tell somebody something useless just because it is what they WANT to hear.



if you want a good book on the subject then might I suggest:

you can even search this title/speaker on youtube. I would post some links directly, but if you are really serious about this then you'll do the work.

"If you want" is a clear statement of optionality. So no "homework" here...

 

[Kauko]

You keep saying your original question is not being answered.

IT IS.

STEP #1 TO FINDING A GOOD CHRISTIAN WIFE -- DRY UP, AND BE SOBER ENOUGH TO HAVE A TWO-WAY CONVERSATION WITH HER THAT DOESN'T COMPLETELY REVOLVE 300% AROUND YOU OR YOUR DEMANDS.

So now that you have step 1, what's it going to be?

And if I cant simply find a marriage material girl no matter how I fix or try to fix myself ?

 

[Kauko]

No, your problem is that you won't acknowledge or deal with your actual real problems in the correct order.

The first step is taking crucial, meaningful steps to clean up your own life first, long before you ever start searching for a girl.

This way I would automatically die single because I would have to fix any trace of imperfection in myself which is itself impossible as I cant be perfect.

 

[Godsgirl83]

"If you want" is a clear statement of optionality. So no "homework" here...

well you CLEARLY DO NOT want to seek things out for yourself........

go to youtube....
type in "Derek Prince God is a matchmaker"
LISTEN to it.

you are so focused on yourself and where you are CURRENTLY.
(Assuming that you are not called into singleness) she may not even be in or from Finland......

 

[seoulsearch]

And if I cant simply find a marriage material girl no matter how I fix or try to fix myself ?

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Throughout this thread, you keep asking, What do I do? How do I do it? Who can do it for me? Just keep telling me again and again because I'm going to keep asking the same questions. (Which brings me back to my previous post -- I'm wondering what you're really demonstrating with this is your level of intoxication and how its diminishing effect on your level of comprehension and independent thinking.

Seriously.

You are 30 years old and say you've had a steady job for years.

Are you saying that you really haven't developed the adult skills to know how to recognize the issues in your life and what steps to take in order to deal with them?

Others in this thread besides myself have already given you multiple suggestions.

Stop spending all your time here, and use that time to start looking up resources to deal with your alcoholism.

There are several people here who struggle with the same or similar issues.

If you'd take a minute to focus on someone other than yourself, you might meet some of them, but it's obvious you wouldn't listen to anything they had to say anyway. There is a highly respected member here who started a support group thread regarding these issues, but I'm not going to go through the trouble of posting the link for you because I know you won't pay any attention to it.

Everything in this life requires work.

Show that you're willing to do some of it.

If you would like the link to the thread I'm talking about, you can search for threads about addictions or alcohol here on the site (there are many.)

 

[seoulsearch]

This way I would automatically die single because I would have to fix any trace of imperfection in myself which is itself impossible as I cant be perfect.

If you took the time to get to know many of us here, we have A LOT of singles who were never hand-delivered their perfect Christian spousal unicorn.

If you never find your demanded fairy dream girl, you'll keep going on like the rest of us, so join the club.

What will you do?

You'll live.

Maybe unhappily, maybe miserably, maybe lonely and drowning in sadness. Many of us are doing just that, but as long as God calls us awake every morning, we have no choice but to go on living. Some have built very enjoyable, successful single lives of faith, work, and service, and those are the people I am here for -- to learn from, in the hoping of emulating their examples.

What will happen to you?

You'll be another member of a crowd of many of us here.

 

[Magenta]

So are you telling me to accept the tattooed green haired unbeliever with ears full of piercings ?

What part of:

It's time to focus your sight 100% on Jesus Christ
and on becoming the man He has called you to be.

... do you not understand???

 

[Kauko]

well you CLEARLY DO NOT want to seek things out for yourself........

go to youtube....
type in "Derek Prince God is a matchmaker"
LISTEN to it.

So you have turned an option into a duty. Friendly.

you are so focused on yourself and where you are CURRENTLY.

What do you expect after 10 years of constant effort with NO reward at all ?

Assuming that you are not called into singleness

Sorry but no. I cant accept it. Im allergic to loneliness.

she may not even be in or from Finland

If I have no chance here I will not have chance anywhere in the world.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

I already have heard this from countless users in this same thread. "Find your purpose" this is what I have done for almost 10 years without any result.

Again, my problem is not in attracting a girl of my interest, the problem is that I cant even find this girl !

What result? Finding a woman? Is that your ultimate purpose in life? Then you will just get frustrated if you keep focusing on that. Too frustrated that you resort to alcohol. Focus more on the eternal than the temporal.

And look for right girl in the right places not in bars, or other worldly places. And pray some more and believe you will find the right person.

 

[Kauko]

If you took the time to get to know many of us here, we have A LOT of singles who were never hand-delivered their perfect Christian spousal unicorn.

If you never find your demanded fairy dream girl, you'll keep going on like the rest of us, so join the club.

What will you do?

You'll live.

Maybe unhappily, maybe miserably, maybe lonely and drowning in sadness. Many of us are doing just that, but as long as God calls us awake every morning, we have no choice but to go on living. Some have built very enjoyable, successful single lives of faith, work, and service, and those are the people I am here for -- to learn from, in the hoping of emulating their examples.

What will happen to you?

You'll be another member of a crowd of many of us here.

But I DEADLY want a girlfriend !!! I cant stand loneliness !!! Atleast not me. Its a constant fire on me. Its a chronic headache !!! Alcohol would kill me with 40 or earlier and if not alcohol, stress would do the work !!!

 

[seoulsearch]

But I DEADLY want a girlfriend !!! I cant stand loneliness !!! Atleast not me. Its a constant fire on me. Its a chronic headache !!! Alcohol would kill me with 40 or earlier and if not alcohol, stress would do the work !!!

To quote the exact wording on your post, I deadly wanted a Christian husband as well.

10 years?

I hate to tell you this, but you're just sitting in the entrance, waiting for a table. You haven't even been seated yet.

Many of us here have 20, 30, 40 and beyond years on you of waiting.

How can you be 30 years old, working in a high-stress environment, and not yet realize that life, and God, does not just hand-deliver the things you demand to you, sometimes no matter how hard you try?

Many people have passionately wanted and waited for things in their lives, but never got them, even after a lifetime of trying and working hard towards their goals.

What is it that makes you believe you are somehow the special exception?

Your constant demand for a woman reminds me of the toddlers I used to babysit who threw themselves on the floor, repeatedly screaming and demanding that the world revolve around them.

 

[Kauko]

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Throughout this thread, you keep asking, What do I do? How do I do it? Who can do it for me? Just keep telling me again and again because I'm going to keep asking the same questions. (Which brings me back to my previous post -- I'm wondering what you're really demonstrating with this is your level of intoxication and how its diminishing effect on your level of comprehension and independent thinking.

Seriously.

You are 30 years old and say you've had a steady job for years.

Are you saying that you really haven't developed the adult skills to know how to recognize the issues in your life and what steps to take in order to deal with them?

Others in this thread besides myself have already given you multiple suggestions.

Stop spending all your time here, and use that time to start looking up resources to deal with your alcoholism.

There are several people here who struggle with the same or similar issues.

If you'd take a minute to focus on someone other than yourself, you might meet some of them, but it's obvious you wouldn't listen to anything they had to say anyway. There is a highly respected member here who started a support group thread regarding these issues, but I'm not going to go through the trouble of posting the link for you because I know you won't pay any attention to it.

Everything in this life requires work.

Show that you're willing to do some of it.

If you would like the link to the thread I'm talking about, you can search for threads about addictions or alcohol here on the site (there are many.)

I dont want to seek help from outside for that. I will fight it myself with God, but with nobody else. Maybe this can imrpove my faith in God.

 

[Godsgirl83]

I dont want to seek help from outside for that.

and yet here you are on the WORLD WIDE web asking for advice and help from complete STRANGERS.

 

[seoulsearch]

I dont want to seek help from outside for that. I will fight it myself with God, but with nobody else. Maybe this can imrpove my faith in God.

Good luck with that.

It's not that God can't or won't do it with you alone, but as I said, if you took the time to learn about the other people here, you'd hear their stories about how successful going it alone "with God" worked for them.

One great thing about this monster of a thread -- it's a great example to point out to singles about why waiting can be worth it.

Because no one should have to choose dealing with an attitude like the one you've put on display repeatedly throughout this thread over being single.

 

[Kauko]

To quote the exact wording on your post, I deadly wanted a Christian husband as well.

10 years?

I hate to tell you this, but you're just sitting in the entrance, waiting for a table. You haven't even been seated yet.

Many of us here have 20, 30, 40 and beyond years on you of waiting.

How can you be 30 years old, working in a high-stress environment, and not yet realize that life, and God, does not just hand-deliver the things you demand to you, sometimes no matter how hard you try?

Many people have passionately wanted and waited for things in their lives, but never got them, even after a lifetime of trying and working hard towards their goals.

What is it that makes you believe you are somehow the special exception?

Your constant demand for a woman reminds me of the toddlers I used to babysit who threw themselves on the floor, repeatedly screaming and demanding that the world revolve around them.

Because I just cant stand loneliness ! Im allergic to loneliness !!! I need my reward for all the effort I have made in life to become a Christ following man !!! Singledom is not for me, NOT FOR ME !!! Not everyone can stand it you know ?

 

[seoulsearch]

But I DEADLY want a girlfriend !!! I cant stand loneliness !!! Atleast not me. Its a constant fire on me. Its a chronic headache !!! Alcohol would kill me with 40 or earlier and if not alcohol, stress would do the work !!!

Again, quoting the exact wording from your post -- what you deadly want, the very most, is attention.

You're not getting it from a girl, so here you are, kicking and screaming every time someone tries to answer you.

As I said, my posts aren't really to you, because I know you're not listening.

Rather, I'm taking the time to reply in the hopes that any singles out there who are contemplating taking on these attitudes within a relationship with someone else will see how impossible it is, and high tail it out of there as soon as they possibly can.

 

[Magenta]

Because I just cant stand loneliness ! Im allergic to loneliness !!! I need my reward for all the effort I have made in life to become a Christ following man !!! Singledom is not for me, NOT FOR ME !!!

Has loneliness killed you yet? Apparently not. What doesn't kill you... I've heard it is designed to make you stronger.

Each one should build with care. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.