Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
How much does Christ love the Church? So much that if we are willing to confess our sins to Him and repent from then He is more that just and right to forgive us of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Are you larger than God? When you sin does God send a lightning bolt at you? Did you know when you sin willingly you commit adultery against God? Don't you know God will judge every deed, hidden and external? If this is so then your reaction to your wife was not biblical.
Yes it was completely wrong that she cheated on you, but every adult human being who believes in Christ receives discipline from God, even your wife. Just an earthly father is responsible for the discipline of his children, our Father in heaven is responsible for the discipline of those who have acquired the right to become children of God through Jesus Christ. Those who are not His children He will deal with, and it will not be very pretty for them. If your wife truly is or was a Christian, she is or was your sister in Christ. Would you physically harm for example, a brother in Christ who sinned against you? I really hope and think you wouldn't. Now, your wife is supposed to be much more important to you than any other brother or sister in Christ. She should be your treasure, your jewel. What you should've done was to do what our Father in heaven does. When we choose to walk out on Him He will just let us go on our own. And once we realize that with Him we have it all, and that He provides it all for us and loves us with an everlasting love, and we want to come back to Him He has His arms wide open for us waiting to forgive us and cherish us once again, just as the parable of the prodigal son.
This might sound incredibly weird and impossible for you to do, but you must apologize to your wife for what you did to her. It doesn't matter what she did to you. You did something against her, and we must not repay evil for evil, but we must repay evil for good. And here is why:
Matthew 5:3-10
3 “ Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
I hope the Holy Spirit shows you the way to go and the things to do. But trust me in this, if you apologize to your wife I know God will do something amazing in your situation. Humble yourself, just like Jesus Christ humbled Himself for us.