Where is the Gentleness and Humility?

[Laura798]

I’m dismayed at how so many so called ‘believers’ interact in these Chat forums--not all but several interact with arrogance, condescension, and sarcasm--I’m truly surprised that these individuals are not warned or banned from the site. Debating a point can and ought to be done with kindness and gentleness--there is no reason to be rude. We are called to be salt and light in the world--if an unbeliever were to read some of the posts, I can’t imagine they’d want anything to do with Christianity. Also, it seems they often argue/debate simply for the sake of arguing, not to glorify God or to bring light to Truth--they go round and round--it’s like beating a dead horse. And note too, if you call these ‘believers’ out on it, instead of being apologetic, they, like the Pharisees and Sadducees become defensive.


“12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”--Colossians 3:12


“2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”--Ephesians 4:2


“5 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”--1st Peter 5:5


11 For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I’m dismayed at how so many so called ‘believers’ interact in these Chat forums--not all but several interact with arrogance, condescension, and sarcasm--I’m truly surprised that these individuals are not warned or banned from the site. Debating a point can and ought to be done with kindness and gentleness--there is no reason to be rude. We are called to be salt and light in the world--if an unbeliever were to read some of the posts, I can’t imagine they’d want anything to do with Christianity. Also, it seems they often argue/debate simply for the sake of arguing, not to glorify God or to bring light to Truth--they go round and round--it’s like beating a dead horse. And note too, if you call these ‘believers’ out on it, instead of being apologetic, they, like the Pharisees and Sadducees become defensive.


“12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”--Colossians 3:12


“2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”--Ephesians 4:2


“5 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”--1st Peter 5:5


11 For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

You're not going to change a thing with this speech. You're far from the first to try, and no doubt won't be the last.
And these are the people that keep the site most active. Without them the sites traffic would likely be cut in at least half. So they're not getting banned.

 

[Laura798]

You're not going to change a thing with this speech. You're far from the first to try, and no doubt won't be the last.
And these are the people that keep the site most active. Without them the sites traffic would likely be cut in at least half. So they're not getting banned.

Not with those who are negative and dark--and not 'true believers--of course not. But for those who read this, who have the Holy Spirit in them, hopefully they will be convicted to be a bit more humble in their responses. It's discouraging to see that there are many on this Christian forum that aren't even Christians.

 

[Runningman]

I’m dismayed at how so many so called ‘believers’ interact in these Chat forums--not all but several interact with arrogance, condescension, and sarcasm--I’m truly surprised that these individuals are not warned or banned from the site. Debating a point can and ought to be done with kindness and gentleness--there is no reason to be rude. We are called to be salt and light in the world--if an unbeliever were to read some of the posts, I can’t imagine they’d want anything to do with Christianity. Also, it seems they often argue/debate simply for the sake of arguing, not to glorify God or to bring light to Truth--they go round and round--it’s like beating a dead horse. And note too, if you call these ‘believers’ out on it, instead of being apologetic, they, like the Pharisees and Sadducees become defensive.


“12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”--Colossians 3:12


“2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”--Ephesians 4:2


“5 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”--1st Peter 5:5


11 For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

I know it's tempting to complain, but complaining doesn't actually provide a solution.

In my opinion, it's better to not criticize people who have no gentleness or humility or they might become defensive and most likely resent your constructive criticism. I learned this the hard way.

I think it's better to wait until people ask for help and then teach them what to do. Unfortunately, some people just aren't teachable.

When all else fails you can always pray for them.

I hope that helps.

 

[Aaron56]

I see Laura’s post not as a complaint but as an appeal to authority. It is in the webmaster’s best interest to receive such feedback.

Again, I encourage a very liberal use of the “ignore” function. Mark the people who cause divisions and simply ignore them. You might both be believers but that doesn’t mean the other can be trusted with sound doctrine or teaching. Also, by their own insistence on being correct, they are obviously not open to correction or teaching.

 

[tourist]

The BDF can be a hostile environment that's for sure.

 

[Laura798]

I see Laura’s post not as a complaint but as an appeal to authority. It is in the webmaster’s best interest to receive such feedback.

Again, I encourage a very liberal use of the “ignore” function. Mark the people who cause divisions and simply ignore them. You might both be believers but that doesn’t mean the other can be trusted with sound doctrine or teaching. Also, by their own insistence on being correct, they are obviously not open to correction or teaching.

I know it's tempting to complain, but complaining doesn't actually provide a solution.

In my opinion, it's better to not criticize people who have no gentleness or humility or they might become defensive and most likely resent your constructive criticism. I learned this the hard way.

I think it's better to wait until people ask for help and then teach them what to do. Unfortunately, some people just aren't teachable.

When all else fails you can always pray for them.

I hope that helps.

Strange to use the word 'complain'---this is an observation of what I've seen on the forum--I am bringing it to light and giving a platform for others to speak out about it as well if they so choose. For those who are maturer Christians, may think more carefully about what and how to say things. As I said in a previous response those who are dark, won't take it to heart, but those who have the conviction of the Holy Spirit will. I say if it's a pattern call the person out on it--afterwards don't engage with them ---it just adds fuel to the fire. I learned that already.

 

[Runningman]

Strange to use the word 'complain'---this is an observation of what I've seen on the forum--I am bringing it to light and giving a platform for others to speak out about it as well if they so choose. For those who are maturer Christians, may think more carefully about what and how to say things. As I said in a previous response those who are dark, won't take it to heart, but those who have the conviction of the Holy Spirit will. I say if it's a pattern call the person out on it--afterwards don't engage with them ---it just adds fuel to the fire. I learned that already.

Don't get me wrong. I totally agree with what your original post is, but it was open-ended. Like I saw that you expressed dissatisfaction or annoyance about something, but I didn't see what the correction should be.

What do you suggest that those with no gentleness or humility do to remedy their problem?

 

[Nehemiah6]

The BDF can be a hostile environment that's for sure.

It is a spiritual battlefield. Light vs Darkness. Truth vs Error.

 

[tourist]

It is a spiritual battlefield. Light vs Darkness. Truth vs Error.

An apt description.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Not with those who are negative and dark--and not 'true believers--of course not. But for those who read this, who have the Holy Spirit in them, hopefully they will be convicted to be a bit more humble in their responses. It's discouraging to see that there are many on this Christian forum that aren't even Christians.

10 years on this site and I've seen many such posts as yours. I've seen zero change come about as a result. Quite the pearls swine scenario going on here.

Non-Christians are permitted on this site. Always have been. I know that, as a non-Christian myself.

Though I do find it ironic that you state what a negative example is set for Non-Christians who may visit the site, yet also label their existence on this site "discouraging". Not example an encouraging statement for a non-Christian to read coming from you, either.

But don't worry, clearly others are like you and dislike Non-Christians being on the site. I know because I've been personally attacked, blatantly lied about, had people pretend to be friendly towards me only to turn around and trash me publicly and such other such behaviors. Not to mention the general tone about Non-Christians seems to be "they are the enemy. They're all horrible, irredeemable, wretched, filthy beasts waiting around to ruin your life".
So don't be too discouraged by our presence. The Christians here will ensure Non-Christians will be mistreated and ran off. Then you can feel better.

 

[Aaron56]

10 years on this site and I've seen many such posts as yours. I've seen zero change come about as a result. Quite the pearls swine scenario going on here.

Non-Christians are permitted on this site. Always have been. I know that, as a non-Christian myself.

Though I do find it ironic that you state what a negative example is set for Non-Christians who may visit the site, yet also label their existence on this site "discouraging". Not example an encouraging statement for a non-Christian to read coming from you, either.

But don't worry, clearly others are like you and dislike Non-Christians being on the site. I know because I've been personally attacked, blatantly lied about, had people pretend to be friendly towards me only to turn around and trash me publicly and such other such behaviors. Not to mention the general tone about Non-Christians seems to be "they are the enemy. They're all horrible, irredeemable, wretched, filthy beasts waiting around to ruin your life".
So don't be too discouraged by our presence. The Christians here will ensure Non-Christians will be mistreated and ran off. Then you can feel better.

To be fair, Laura‘s issue is regarding people who say they are believers.

But the treatment you described is despicable. I’m sorry you’ve been treated that way.

 

[Magenta]

Strange to use the word 'complain'---this is an observation of what I've seen on the forum--I am bringing it to light and giving a platform for others to speak out about it as well if they so choose. For those who are maturer Christians, may think more carefully about what and how to say things. As I said in a previous response those who are dark, won't take it to heart, but those who have the conviction of the Holy Spirit will. I say if it's a pattern call the person out on it--afterwards don't engage with them ---it just adds fuel to the fire. I learned that already.

complain

verb (used without object)
to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault
to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc.

Complain is the correct word. It originally comes from Latin/French words meaning Lament:

"express dissatisfaction or disapproval; statement of grievances, formal accusation; a plaintive poem."

I hope you do not mind me pointing this out to you

 

[GaryA]

What do you suggest that those with no gentleness or humility do to remedy their problem?

Learn how to be gentle and humble...?

 

[GaryA]

The Christians here will ensure Non-Christians will be mistreated and ran off.

I dare say that the "real" (born-again) Christians here will tend to have a more kind regard for others and be always ready to invite non-Christians to learn about the Lord Jesus Christ and their need for a savior.

(And, if not - they should!)

 

[Laura798]

complain

verb (used without object)
to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment, or grief; find fault
to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc.

Complain is the correct word. It originally comes from Latin/French words meaning Lament:

"express dissatisfaction or disapproval; statement of grievances, formal accusation; a plaintive poem."

I hope you do not mind me pointing this out to you

i do mind. it's doesn't help considering the subject. rather insensitive really. but that's why i'm getting off this site--so much unkindness.

 

[Mario]

I've been on this site for about a month now. This is my first Christian chat room experience. I've had a few not so good encounters that I wouldn't have expected to have coming from a Christian site. It's a bit discouraging and will definitely test your Christian faith. We need to stay sharp and stay focused on The Holy Spirit.
I know that a person who lives by the Christian faith would never condemn a non-Christian or anyone for that matter. I've come across non-believers that are self professed atheist's that act more like Christians in their actions then some self professed Christians do. I would even say that there reward in heaven is great. It's like they have the gifts of the Holy Spirit but they won't acknowledge where there gifts come from. This really breaks my heart because my Father is one such person. He does so much charity for people. asks and most of all expects nothing in return. His actions inspire me, and help me see the the light in being charitable.
I would like to consider myself a Christian. This Is what is most important in my life and always will be, God willing.

 

[Laura798]

I've been on this site for about a month now. This is my first Christian chat room experience. I've had a few not so good encounters that I wouldn't have expected to have coming from a Christian site. It's a bit discouraging and will definitely test your Christian faith. We need to stay sharp and stay focused on The Holy Spirit.
I know that a person who lives by the Christian faith would never condemn a non-Christian or anyone for that matter. I've come across non-believers that are self professed atheist's that act more like Christians in their actions then some self professed Christians do. I would even say that there reward in heaven is great. It's like they have the gifts of the Holy Spirit but they won't acknowledge where there gifts come from. This really breaks my heart because my Father is one such person. He does so much charity for people. asks and most of all expects nothing in return. His actions inspire me, and help me see the the light in being charitable.
I would like to consider myself a Christian. This Is what is most important in my life and always will be, God willing.

Welcome Mario--I'm fairly new as well, but I've found the site rather discouraging--as you say, people that call themselves Christian often act worse than unbelievers. that's been my experience here, so I don't think I'll be on the site anymore. It's been a rather disappointing experience, I'm afraid. You're blessed to have such a kind Father--I hope you will have an opportunity to share your faith with him. Blessings to you, Laura

 

[Mario]

Thank you for your kindness Laura, I am sorry about your experience on this site and I'm sorry to see you go. This site definitely needs more compassionate people like you. You know it's sad if you have simple good intensions in the world and some people just want to twist it up and make it complicated. I really enjoyed reading you posts and if you decide to stay I would be interested in what you have to say.
Blessings to you to, Mario

 

[elights]

I have tried a lot more ways of dealing with people and almost all of them have given me disappointing results except ONE and that’s the way of Love,without first knowing whether someone is an atheist or believer,we are called to love everyone perhaps that’s how some of the unbelievers will come to the Lord,Offences and disappointments are everywhere even in church but every time I think about what Christ went through at the cross,it fuels me to forgive more and more, I don’t seem to support offending others but if someone offended you,forgive them and love them because like am not good in everything,I don’t expect everyone to be good in everything either,we all have weaknesses but let’s just go close to God and tell him about it because that’s the only way for us as children of God anyway!I won’t like it if Laura leaves and I request if it’s possible you stay dear because I love you and the rest on this site,we can still stay friends even when we disagree on certain things!!