What Do You (Men) Think of Ladies Living with Their Parents?

[TheIndianGirl]

@Sculpt started a great thread on what ladies think of men living with their parents. I am curious about the opposite as well, since I don't know how men feel about ladies living at home with their parents. Women who live independently are traditionally stereotyped in a negative manner, but perhaps things/times have changed?

What is your impression of ladies who live with their parents?

Do men prefer ladies who live with their parents compared to ladies who live alone/independently? Why or why not?

 

[Lynx]

Beats me. I've never met her.

Okay, serious... I don't think women have the same stigma because women are not traditionally the providers. Men are supposed to be the providers, so if a guy can't even provide for himself a woman is like >.> but if a woman is still living with her parents it's not such a big deal.

 

[JohnDB]

Well...
It depends...
My wife is from a very rural area...she held a professional job. She was more than capable of living on her own and had for a while...but she moved back in with her parents because she was extremely lonely living on her own.

And she is an introvert by nature...which doesn't make a lot of sense...but she did start living in their other house to get away from them some more too. So she was half in half out...then she met me. And she couldn't get out fast enough.

But again it depends on age, circumstances, and reasons.

But I'm kinda odd to start with... I've always liked the strong, smart girls. (Not the norm) I don't like "man splainin" anything...nor did I want a door mat....I wanted a partner to keep up. Again not the norm for most guys.

But
Most guys are idiots

 

[seoulsearch]

Okay, serious... I don't think women have the same stigma because women are not traditionally the providers. Men are supposed to be the providers, so if a guy can't even provide for himself a woman is like >.> but if a woman is still living with her parents it's not such a big deal.

I think it's also important to consider that more women might be living with their families because women may have to put more work into looking out for their safety.

I don't ever want to be someone who looks at all men as potential attackers, but it's just a reality of life that a woman who lives alone usually needs to take more precautions. For instance, I've read so many reports of women being assaulted during ride shares that I've never even tried them -- I stick to public transportation that will have other passengers whenever possible.

When considering my living conditions, safety is my top priority, and I don't feel peace living independently unless I have emergency contacts in the same area.

I had an instance not long ago in which about 7 maintenance/repair guys showed up all at once, and in those situations, I always mention that I have family just a few minutes away (such as, "Well, my parents are supposed to stop anytime... They live 3 streets away.")

Like I said, I don't ever want to treat men as the enemy, but at the same time, I don't want anyone to assume I'm an easy victim either.

 

[Lanolin]

I think you are safer in a big city living alone in a studio apartment than say a small town where people will just think its weird and gossip about you lol
But, never one to really care what other people think everyone has choices to make in life and they just do what they think is right for them.

it works both ways.,,if you live at home with parents you get people who dont understand and constantly try and hint that you should move in with them.
But if you dont live with your parents your parents may complain they never see you and constantly harass you anyway! And yea in some parts of the world you might have to learn how to be handy with a shotgun.

 

[Lanolin]

I get alot of kids at school who live with their grandparents because their parents cant look after them.
I wouldnt judge them for not living with their parents sometimes they just cant.

And there are many many children who are actually the adult ones looking after their parents. Sadly that is backwards but there will be a role reversal when you reach a certain age. Jesus apparently lived with his mother all his life before going to do his ministry, and left her in the care of John rather than his other brother and sisters.

Looking after widows and orphans is a christian thing to do. Whether its male or female doing the caregiving it doesnt matter.

 

[Lynx]

I think you are safer in a big city living alone in a studio apartment than say a small town where people will just think its weird and gossip about you lol
But, never one to really care what other people think everyone has choices to make in life and they just do what they think is right for them.

it works both ways.,,if you live at home with parents you get people who dont understand and constantly try and hint that you should move in with them.
But if you dont live with your parents your parents may complain they never see you and constantly harass you anyway! And yea in some parts of the world you might have to learn how to be handy with a shotgun.

Nah, shotguns have too much collateral damage no matter how you aim them. Pistols are better for pinpoint damage, and easier to hide too.

 

[EmilyNats]

I've actually never heard a man make a comment about this subject. It's usually other women who make a deal out of it.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I think if the girl/woman is too attached to her parents or because she has not fully matured yet despite her age, that might be a problem for the guy. The maturity issue is one reason why women are hesitant about guys who live with their parents. A guy being too attached his parent is generally not a thing, I believe.

 

[Sculpt]

@Sculpt started a great thread on what ladies think of men living with their parents. I am curious about the opposite as well, since I don't know how men feel about ladies living at home with their parents. Women who live independently are traditionally stereotyped in a negative manner, but perhaps things/times have changed?

What is your impression of ladies who live with their parents?

Do men prefer ladies who live with their parents compared to ladies who live alone/independently? Why or why not?

I've dated both, but most have lived with their parents.

I don't think I assumed anything about her based on this. I probably got the feeling the ones living with roommates, or especially on their own, were much more independent from their family.

I can tell you for sure I've never associated anything negative about it... until you posted this. Now my social science mind is thinking... they have a higher chance of having lower family values, and higher chance they had problems within their family... because they wanted to get out, or had to get away. If they've had a negative family home/upbringing, they probably have learned to fear family connections, and maybe all connections in general. Obviously some psychologically sound women move out on their own due to school, work, callings and let's say an adventurous and/or solitudinous spirit.

Practically speaking, it's a good thing because, especially if there's a fair amount of distance between you, you both can hang out at her place.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I can tell you for sure I've never associated anything negative about it... until you posted this. Now my social science mind is thinking... they have a higher chance of having lower family values, and higher chance they had problems within their family... because they wanted to get out, or had to get away. If they've had a negative family home/upbringing, they probably have learned to fear family connections, and maybe all connections in general. Obviously some psychologically sound women move out on their own due to school, work, callings and let's say an adventurous and/or solitudinous spirit.

Practically speaking, it's a good thing because, especially if there's a fair amount of distance between you, you both can hang out at her place.

Yes, I can see how if a girl/woman left home for no good reason and moved to another place nearby in the same city she may have some family issues. It makes more sense to live in the parents' home and save money, so that would lead me to to think that she wanted to get away from her parents. However, if she wanted to leave home, it may not always be her fault as it could be the parents' for whatever reason. I can also see how she can want some privacy if she is dating; she may not always want to keep her parents up to date on that especially if the parents are overly restrictive/protective.

 

[seoulsearch]

I've dated both, but most have lived with their parents.

I don't think I assumed anything about her based on this. I probably got the feeling the ones living with roommates, or especially on their own, were much more independent from their family.

I can tell you for sure I've never associated anything negative about it... until you posted this. Now my social science mind is thinking... they have a higher chance of having lower family values, and higher chance they had problems within their family... because they wanted to get out, or had to get away. If they've had a negative family home/upbringing, they probably have learned to fear family connections, and maybe all connections in general. Obviously some psychologically sound women move out on their own due to school, work, callings and let's say an adventurous and/or solitudinous spirit.

Practically speaking, it's a good thing because, especially if there's a fair amount of distance between you, you both can hang out at her place.

Yes, I can see how if a girl/woman left home for no good reason and moved to another place nearby in the same city she may have some family issues. It makes more sense to live in the parents' home and save money, so that would lead me to to think that she wanted to get away from her parents. However, if she wanted to leave home, it may not always be her fault as it could be the parents' for whatever reason. I can also see how she can want some privacy if she is dating; she may not always want to keep her parents up to date on that especially if the parents are overly restrictive/protective.

These are some interesting thoughts about women who don't live with some parents. I never considered that someone might think I had family issues. I have a great family but admittedly, we all have very strong personalities and do much better when we have our own space. We don't have much family drama because we all have our own places to go home to.

I left my parents' house for my latter years of college and have always had my own place except for a few bouts of being in-between locations or helping out friends who were in the same situation. Most of my single female friends have their own places or are on the way to getting one for themselves, and they have great relationships with their families.

I know this isn't always the case, but it's interesting to me to think that a woman living independently of her family might be seen as a possible sign of family dysfunction.

It also inspires a new thread idea.

 

[Lynx]

It also inspires me to call seoulsearch's parents and tell them their family is probably dysfunctional... unless she already broke the news to them.

 

[Runningman]

@Sculpt started a great thread on what ladies think of men living with their parents. I am curious about the opposite as well, since I don't know how men feel about ladies living at home with their parents. Women who live independently are traditionally stereotyped in a negative manner, but perhaps things/times have changed?

What is your impression of ladies who live with their parents?

Do men prefer ladies who live with their parents compared to ladies who live alone/independently? Why or why not?

It depends how old they are. If a 25 year old lives at home then that isn't surprising.

I would be a bit surprised if a lady, 30+, was living at home, but not entirely mystified because there are many extenuating circumstances for why anyone cannot move out of their home. I would definitely be curious why a lady, 30+, was living at home and after hearing those reasons I could more accurately decide if that's a deal breaker.

Possible deal breakers would being unable to achieve independence for reasons like laziness, drug addiction, and financial instability. I would judge on a case-by-case basis ladies who couldn't be independent due to having kids, a criminal record, a disability, or bad luck.

I also might be a bit concerned if their parents are very overbearing, overprotective, challenging my pursuit of her for any reason. I'm a real catch, a highly sought-after kind of man, who has his stuff together. I know what I want and I don't waste my time. A challenge to my courting of a lady will be met with a stern lecture that I am not here to play games and jump through hoops; watch and wait, my actions and character will speak for themselves.

What is more important is if they are willing to move out and live together (with me) in the event we wanted to get married.

 

[Pureness]

I think if the mans sole purpose of being there is to help his elderly parents that can't help themselves, I think its perfectly fine. Most family oriented people don't put there parents in nursing homes. Now if he's just there because and not helping is quite frankly disturbing and unacceptable to me in my opinion. I wouldn't even consider that as a man.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I think its perfectly fine. Most family oriented people don't put there parents in nursing homes.

This is nice, but what happens in many cases is that the spouse is not too happy to live with in-laws as this could cause friction. This type of issue is not usually discussed (or discussed seriously) when people are dating.

 

[Lanolin]

Not all in-laws would be horrible to live with, I know many married couples who live with their in-laws. And it works, especially when grand children come along.

Maybe only people that are rich or can EASILY afford to live apart dont really understand why someone would not want to move away from their family. Nursing homes especially for widows are not the greatetst and even they are hideously expensive, and the care is haphazard. Even if you buy the best and sell the family home, then youve not only lost your home, youve lost family connection, though some older folks are happy not to ever see their families or have vistors I guess.

 

[Lanolin]

Here we have what is called granny flats, and you could have 3 generations living in one roof or property, though the best case scenario is to just have a house next door!
The dwelling could be 2 or 3 storeys high and each generation could have their own floor.

Of course its not so insular...people go off to work, do stuff outside the home and children go to school, there are pets/animals to look after its not like they are there all the time doing nothing!

 

[OneOfHis]

@Sculpt started a great thread on what ladies think of men living with their parents. I am curious about the opposite as well, since I don't know how men feel about ladies living at home with their parents. Women who live independently are traditionally stereotyped in a negative manner, but perhaps things/times have changed?

What is your impression of ladies who live with their parents?

Do men prefer ladies who live with their parents compared to ladies who live alone/independently? Why or why not?

It would not be something I'd really consider much one way or the other by itself.

I think her perspective on things and the relationship she has with her family says more than where someone happens to sleep.

 

[GiveThanks]

Im 40 years old, and Ive never lived on my own before, and I cant even imagine such a thing. I work and im very much independent, and it seems quite natural to me to live with my mom. She's almost 80, and i would never leave her, not even if i got married.

I was told before that i was being ridiculous because no man in his right mind would marry a woman who insists on living with her mom.

I dont think thats ridiculous though, its quite OK with me if he wants his parents to live with us also- as long as they are good people, and nice to be around.

Im not against nursing homes, but Id rather hire someone to take care of the elderly at home where I can see them everyday.