Sorry this is way longer than I originally intended and my grammarand punctuation is always bad. Hahahahahaha
You know how people say "be careful of what you wish for"
Well, a few years ago I was having a long chat with my Heavenly Father and I told Him that I really just wanted to meet the one and get it over with. I didn't really want to deal with all the drama of dating, liking or possibly falling in love with someone to later find out that it wasn't right, and besides I had been dating for nearly 10 years and it hadnt really gotten me anywhere.
Well in the past few years I have been lonely because I want companionship and feel like I am ready to spend my life with someone. Ready to love and be loved. Motivate, encourage, listen, follow instead of lead all the time. It just seemes like the next logical step after school is finished career is going. Thats just what you do.
And then a few months ago I finally realized what I had asked God to do for me, protect me from potential posers, conterfeit spouses. You know the ones who look good but are bad. Or the ones who are good but just not good for you, cause they are for somomne else. Or that partial love, Love that encompasses certain things but not everything God wants it to be. I think when I realized that, I was released from the idea of "being in love with the idea of love"
Even more recently I began praying prayer specifically about the releasing of myself and my partner so that we can be with each other. I truely feel that God is not going to let me get involoved with anyone unless we are both ready for each other.
And because I try to look at everything as a learning situation I hope I am taking things in that will help me live and deal with a spouse. There are little things that we forget about that can make or break us.
My two major things are sharing space and leadership. I know, thos eare big ones there when it comes to letting the husband be the lead.
I have lived alone for about 7 years and I cant imagine someone invading my space with their junk. But guess what I will have a roommate soon for about a month. (heloing out a neighbor in a weird situation) I definitely think that is orchastrated by God so I can ler\arn how to live with people again.
I am a natural leader. Its hard for me to bite my tongue when I think ideas are ridiculous and there is a better way. But with my job, thats just how it is and I am now active in a Church that really only lets people lead if they have been there for many years, so I just have to be a follower. even in the singles group all the Ldies are natural leaders and I am definitely learning how to let others be incharge.
Maybe these are the reasons why I feel it will happen soon. My big issues are being dealt with and I feel relief from relinquishing so much control. Well check back with me when I get my roommate in a few weeks. hehehehehe