Sexual Temptation (TMI warning)

[happy_butsad08]

There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?

 

[JohnDB]

There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?

You are 13 years old...
I'm multiple times your age. But I was once young.

And if I could go back one of the things I would change is holding out for marriage. Your first time shouldn't be in a closet or a car.
It should be on your honeymoon. Because once that match is struck it can't be unstruck. You will remember him and the first time for the rest of your life...and either wince at the memory or be happy and glad with it.

Most men and women who are casual about their sex partners won't tell you that it doesn't get better with more partners, it gets worse to where it's not even enjoyable anymore. And the more partners the worse it gets every time.

At 13 you are not emotionally ready...and truly not completely physically ready... you might be mostly physically ready as having gone through puberty...but a long way from maturity.

And believe it or not... talking to your parents about it isn't exactly the worst idea either. Of course they are going to holler and yell. I would in their shoes. But the truth is that they aren't really mad at you as much as the situation... you are growing up.

This isn't exactly stuff that is taught... and at 23 you still have maturing cognitive functions to obtain...but it's good then to do them with a life partner.

Wait for being physically intimate with someone... you got a LOT of years yet to have it. And chances are that you aren't going to marry that boy anyway...he isn't even gone through high school yet to prove he has any brains....he is all hormones and no commitment whatsoever. He will like any girl that he can separate from their underwear... you aren't that special to him except for the chance to separate you from your clothes once again.
And his line of lies is going to be long and elaborate if he thinks he is gaining ground towards doing so.

 

[EmilyNats]

I could not agree more with JohnDB.

Run away from that guy, he is no good at all. And yes, as John said possibly tell your parents. What that guy did to you is borderline sexual assault. If you have sex before marriage, I can promise you that you will regret it. Although I waited for marriage, even the other stuff I did that was sexual in nature I deeply regret. It caused me a lot of emotional problems and stress during the first few months of my marriage.

Waiting for marriage is one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself.

 

[PennEd]

There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?

Hello, and welcome,
Your bio says you are "UNSURE" about your Spiritual status.

You also state you "lost" your faith.

So two questions.

1. Why did you come to a Christian site to get advice?

2. What did you formerly believe that you no longer believe?

After we get that squared away we can talk about other things.

 

[Encouragement]

There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?

Seriously??.You are both minors!!!
He was going to have sexual intercourse with you!😯😯😯..You had a very lucky escape but the fact that things went this far means there's a good chance it will happen again regardless of what decisions you both made.Often guys will seek to seduce their girlfriends into pushing back sexual boundaries so that they can get what they want and some can even try to make you feel bad for saying no to them.
I totally understand that for youngsters at your age ect that sexual temptations are made even worse because you're too young to get married yet though many have bf and gf.
At 13 you are both far too young to be playing about sexually in general... The world has changed a lot from when I was your age.
I assume you are both virgins..or at lesst you are?.Value your virginity and ask God to give you the courage to fight to keep it in jesus name.Seek to have strict boundaries regarding physical intimacy because it doesn't take much to ignite sexual passions even just from kissing.Plus evening he can't get what he originally wanted the temptation to be making out would be the next thing to indulge in..unless that's already been happening.
You do have every right to say NO to him and even walk our of the situation.The thing about sexual temptations I'd that whist many don't really want to...the pleasurable sensations can become overwhelming harr to resist in that moment...so one ends up doing stuff one didn't really want to do..but the sexual sensations were too enjoyment to stop.This is why sexual temptations are so dangerous and seductive.
If this guy truly values you he will also want to do what is right.However it might be you who has to block things from getting worst given what you explained.
Once certain sexual lines are crossed consensually it can be harder to re establish them because of permitting them to be compromised.Also I get the impression he just removed your clothing without your actual proper consent?..
Alarm bells are going off in my head..
If he persists in trying to draw you into sexual sin knowing that you really don't want to go that way then sorry but he's not a good bf for you even though you really like him.At 13 you have your whole life ahead of you.
Stay close to God and ask God to give us strength to do the right thing in the face of such temptation..

 

[tourist]

I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?

Stay away from this jerk.

 

[happy_butsad08]

Hello, and welcome,
Your bio says you are "UNSURE" about your Spiritual status.

You also state you "lost" your faith.

So two questions.

1. Why did you come to a Christian site to get advice?

2. What did you formerly believe that you no longer believe?

After we get that squared away we can talk about other things.

I'm actually trying to straighten my life out. And yes, I did lose my faith but I'm trying to get it back.

 

[happy_butsad08]

You are 13 years old...
I'm multiple times your age. But I was once young.

And if I could go back one of the things I would change is holding out for marriage. Your first time shouldn't be in a closet or a car.
It should be on your honeymoon. Because once that match is struck it can't be unstruck. You will remember him and the first time for the rest of your life...and either wince at the memory or be happy and glad with it.

Most men and women who are casual about their sex partners won't tell you that it doesn't get better with more partners, it gets worse to where it's not even enjoyable anymore. And the more partners the worse it gets every time.

At 13 you are not emotionally ready...and truly not completely physically ready... you might be mostly physically ready as having gone through puberty...but a long way from maturity.

And believe it or not... talking to your parents about it isn't exactly the worst idea either. Of course they are going to holler and yell. I would in their shoes. But the truth is that they aren't really mad at you as much as the situation... you are growing up.

This isn't exactly stuff that is taught... and at 23 you still have maturing cognitive functions to obtain...but it's good then to do them with a life partner.

Wait for being physically intimate with someone... you got a LOT of years yet to have it. And chances are that you aren't going to marry that boy anyway...he isn't even gone through high school yet to prove he has any brains....he is all hormones and no commitment whatsoever. He will like any girl that he can separate from their underwear... you aren't that special to him except for the chance to separate you from your clothes once again.
And his line of lies is going to be long and elaborate if he thinks he is gaining ground towards doing so.

Well what is the point of me waiting until marriage? No one will probably marry someone like me who is so ugly and worthless and should just go to hell and die! No guys will want me as their wife!

 

[happy_butsad08]

I could not agree more with JohnDB.

Run away from that guy, he is no good at all. And yes, as John said possibly tell your parents. What that guy did to you is borderline sexual assault. If you have sex before marriage, I can promise you that you will regret it. Although I waited for marriage, even the other stuff I did that was sexual in nature I deeply regret. It caused me a lot of emotional problems and stress during the first few months of my marriage.

Waiting for marriage is one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself.

But I'm probably never going to get married because I am very worthless and ugly.... so why even worry about marriage if it's never going to happen! I'm not like that girl in my school who is so beautiful and has a 100% chance of getting married while my chance is 0%! I hope I'm dead before it's even TIME for me to get married. Even if I am alive then it probably won't happen.

 

[Magenta]

Stay away from this jerk.

Amen to that, brother. Rape is what he was up to. There is nothing sweet about rape. Or an unwanted pregnancy for that matter.

 

[happy_butsad08]

Amen to that, brother. Rape is what he was up to.

but he isn't a rapist.... he's so nice

 

[Katia]

There's this guy in my class who I am going to homecoming with. We really, really, really like each other a lot . His parents are amazing Christian people, they always invite me to come to their house and go on trips with them and I love every minute with them. This guy, like his parents, is very sweet and loves to have fun. He always respected my boundaries, too. That is, until this past Saturday.....
He and I, along with his family, went out of town for half the day. After eating some lunch with his family, his parents and us headed to his house. About 10-15 minutes after we got there, he took me in a private, enclosed place and the door was shut and it was just the two of us.... he then looked at me and said "Don't tell anyone I'm about to do this." When he said this, I got a funny feeling inside of me and by the way he was looking at me I could tell he was thinking of something. He told me to turn around, so I did. Then he got behind me, put his hands around my waist and removed my shorts and underwear. I was extremely shocked. I was unsure of what he was trying to do, but by this point it was clear to me. Then he felt my backside and frontside and he was getting ready to enter me but I was very scared. I told him it was too risky and we could get caught, and he responded with "It's okay. We won't get caught." But then we finally decided it was a big risk and not long after we pulled our shorts back up his mom walked in, not even suspecting anything of us! We decided to just stick to kissing and I agreed. But obviously he still has sexual desires because I sit next to him in some classes and he'll put his hand on my thigh, multiple times a day. He even wants me to come spend the night at his house one day (we're both 13 btw), but based on what he just tried to do, who knows what he'll have in store then.....
I really like this guy a lot, but I know what he's doing is very immoral. I am really scared. what should i do?

If you don't want sex, stop seeing him now. Ye won't get it.

 

[happy_butsad08]

If you don't want sex, stop seeing him now. Ye won't get it.

but he apologized for it and he has a really good family and he said he wouldn't do it again

 

[Magenta]

but he isn't a rapist.... he's so nice

He did not even ask your consent!!! That is called rape by any standard.

Your AGE alone would make it rape. RUN far and fast. Do not look back.

 

[Magenta]

but he apologized for it and he has a really good family and he said he wouldn't do it again

He's a liar and trying to get you to drop your defenses.

 

[happy_butsad08]

He did not even ask your consent!!! That is called rape by any standard.

Your AGE alone would make it rape. RUN far and fast. Do not look back.

But.... he's the only guy who thinks I'm attractive......... no one else thinks of me that way. I'm just worthless and very disgusting looking

 

[Magenta]

But.... he's the only guy who thinks I'm attractive......... no one else thinks of me that way. I'm just worthless and very disgusting looking

So you reek of desperation which is sure to attract predators.

You will likely do want you want, regardless.

And he is priming you to make that decision.

Welcome to your nightmare.

 

[happy_butsad08]

I could not agree more with JohnDB.

Run away from that guy, he is no good at all. And yes, as John said possibly tell your parents. What that guy did to you is borderline sexual assault. If you have sex before marriage, I can promise you that you will regret it. Although I waited for marriage, even the other stuff I did that was sexual in nature I deeply regret. It caused me a lot of emotional problems and stress during the first few months of my marriage.

Waiting for marriage is one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself.

So you reek of desperation which is sure to attract predators.

You will likely do want you want, regardless.

Welcome to your nightmare.

Wow ok........ thanks.

 

[Magenta]

Wow ok........ thanks.

You don't sound like you are willing to take the counsel you came to seek.

Defending his reprehensible actions and saying he is sweet? That is what is wow.

 

[happy_butsad08]

You don't sound like you are willing to take the counsel you came to seek.

Defending his reprehensible actions and saying he is sweet? That is what is wow.

HE LITERALLY APOLOGIZED.