What is Biblical marriage?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

soberxp

Senior Member
May 3, 2018
2,511
482
83
#61
Became one flesh means one head and same mind, means two have the same thought.is it too hard for mankind?
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,679
113
#62
If the act of "two becoming one flesh" is what makes marriage, then intercourse with a prostitute means you are married.
That's possible. This verse doesn't rule out that casual intercourse is marriage.

1 Corinthians 6:16
16What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

Do you think this woman bad four marriage ceremonies or she slept with five different men?

John 4:16-18
16Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. 17The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#63
Because filthy rich, lying politicians tell widows if they get married "legally" they will lose their pensions and/or SS!
Some want to attack a few non State licensed marriages that fail. How about some stats on State licensed marriages that fail?
The point is that the person/persons who just shack up are not really committed to a marriage and if it fails they can just walk away like it never happened.

If anyone is actually committed to another person then they will marry the person legally regardless of the cost.

If you are not legally married and living together and having sex then that is fornicating that is plain and simple.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#64
Understanding biblical marriage sure does change things, doesn't it.
That is only your interpretation and if that be the case then there is no "fornication" because everyone who has sex is married as soon as they have sex. So that would make any sexual sin adultery, .

Can you see how that doesn't make any sense whatsoever? Why would the Bible even speak of fornication if it didn't exist?

Also what about gays and lesbians...Are they married in God's eyes just because they have sex with each other? I'd have to say NO seeing as that is an abomination unto the Lord.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#65
Matthew 19
5and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”…

If people want to take Matthew 19: 5 and half of verse 6 then they also have to take the rest of it. And one major part of verse 6 is saying What God has joined together let man not separate.

Do any of you seriously believe that going out fornicating and sinning with someone is condoned by God and that He is the one who actually joined those people together?

That is ludicrous. God does not condone, sanctify, or bless sin. It is what it is...just saying
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#66
Became one flesh means one head and same mind, means two have the same thought.is it too hard for mankind?
Agreed, two becoming one is not just a physical thing. It is also a mental, emotional, and spiritual thing. Two cannot fully become one unless it is called and ordained by God.

Fornicating with someone is not ordained by God and is not a marriage.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#67
Do you think this woman bad four marriage ceremonies or she slept with five different men?

John 4:16-18
16Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. 17The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: 18For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.
Yes that is exactly what I think....Jesus said she had 4 husbands and the one that she was with at that time was not her husband.

Seems evident by that scripture that being married and living with or just fornicating with someone are two totally different things.

Else he would have said you have had 5 husbands if just having sex with someone is considered being married to them... right?
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
16,718
3,551
113
#68
That is only your interpretation and if that be the case then there is no "fornication" because everyone who has sex is married as soon as they have sex. So that would make any sexual sin adultery, .

Can you see how that doesn't make any sense whatsoever? Why would the Bible even speak of fornication if it didn't exist?

Also what about gays and lesbians...Are they married in God's eyes just because they have sex with each other? I'd have to say NO seeing as that is an abomination unto the Lord.
Seems like adultery is a type of fornication.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
16,718
3,551
113
#69
Agreed, two becoming one is not just a physical thing. It is also a mental, emotional, and spiritual thing. Two cannot fully become one unless it is called and ordained by God.
1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#70
Seems like adultery is a type of fornication.

Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
It could be I guess but that does not mean that fornication makes for a marriage.
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,679
113
#71
Yes that is exactly what I think....Jesus said she had 4 husbands and the one that she was with at that time was not her husband.

Seems evident by that scripture that being married and living with or just fornicating with someone are two totally different things.

Else he would have said you have had 5 husbands if just having sex with someone is considered being married to them... right?
Part of being married is becoming one flesh. My interpretation of John 4:16-18 is two possibilities: her previous husbands each died and she's currently living with a man who she has not had intercourse with.

Or she has had sex with 5 other men, but now the man she is currently with she has not had relations with (hasn't become one flesh yet.) I think this is possible because Paul in 1 Cor. 6:16 says that even joining with a harlot is becoming one flesh.
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
16,718
3,551
113
#72
It could be I guess but that does not mean that fornication makes for a marriage.
If a wife (she's already married) commits fornication, what is that exactly? Also, committing adultery is marrying another, the sexual realationship.

Matthew 19:And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#73
1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
Is becoming one flesh the only stipulation for marriage? Through sex they may become one body...does that mean that was called by God and that God had ordained it.

What God has joined together let not man separate. Do you think God has joined or put the harlot together as one with everyone they have had sex with?

I'd say no...God does not bless and ordain sin...He is not the one who is joining fornicators together...they are doing that through their own lusts and sin. Fornication does not equal marriage. That is clear.
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
16,718
3,551
113
#74
Or she has had sex with 5 other men, but now the man she is currently with she has not had relations with (hasn't become one flesh yet.) I think this is possible because Paul in 1 Cor. 6:16 says that even joining with a harlot is becoming one flesh.
I lean towards this one.
 

John146

Senior Member
Jan 13, 2016
16,718
3,551
113
#75
Is becoming one flesh the only stipulation for marriage? Through sex they may become one body...does that mean that was called by God and that God had ordained it.

What God has joined together let not man separate. Do you think joined or put the harlot together as one with everyone they have had sex with?

I'd say no...God does not bless and ordain sin...He is not the one who is joining fornicators together...they are doing that through their own lusts and sin. Fornication does not equal marriage. That is clear.
It is a pretty good topic for discussion. I appreciate your thoughts. Gotta go for now. God bless.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#76
If a wife (she's already married) commits fornication, what is that exactly? Also, committing adultery is marrying another, the sexual realationship.

Matthew 19:And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Like I said I guess it could be. However, having sex with someone does not equal being married.

God does not join folks together under sin. Fornication is a sin it is not something God condones. That is clear.
 

1ofthem

Senior Member
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,912
113
#77
Part of being married is becoming one flesh. My interpretation of John 4:16-18 is two possibilities: her previous husbands each died and she's currently living with a man who she has not had intercourse with.

Or she has had sex with 5 other men, but now the man she is currently with she has not had relations with (hasn't become one flesh yet.) I think this is possible because Paul in 1 Cor. 6:16 says that even joining with a harlot is becoming one flesh.
I don't see it that way. If they had not had sex and weren't living in fornication then would there have been any reason for Jesus to even comment on it?

He was offering her living water... the forgiveness of sin. So I think that is why he commented or even made mention to her SIN. ...IMHO
 
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,679
113
#78
I don't see it that way. If they had not had sex and weren't living in fornication then would there have been any reason for Jesus to even comment on it?

He was offering her living water... the forgiveness of sin. So I think that is why he commented or even made mention to her SIN. ...IMHO
I think it was a test. What I see is Jesus at first said to call her husband:

John 4:16
16Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither.

Then later he confirmed the one she is with now is not her husband:

John 4:17-18
17The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband:
18For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.

So just being with someone isn't enough to be married. Even though she is with someone they aren't husband and wife yet. The only missing ingredient I can see is they weren't intimate.

Compare that to not being with her other 5 husbands. She wasn't with them anymore, but Jesus said they were still married. It really looks like being physically intimate (sex) is what creates a Biblical marriage, IMHO.

I don't think the other 5 husbands were dead yet either or they wouldn't still be her husband. I think she slept around a bit.
 

Lucy-Pevensie

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2017
9,267
5,626
113
#79
Biblical marriage is a covenant relationship and God uses it to teach us about covenant relationship.
It's true the new covenant is one of the heart more than a legal agreement.
But it is still a legal arrangement sealed with blood and consumated by intimacy on a deeper level than our earthly marriages.
 
Jan 31, 2021
8,658
1,064
113
#80
It has been a curiosity to me for a long time as to why there are no specific directions for how to get married in the Bible. Marriage permeates our daily life and the fabric of our cultures and society yet the Bible is curiously silent on the topic.

Marriages are mentioned in the Bible, but are there any examples of vows, ceremony, documents, etc. Why?

Today I had a thought about this verse:

Matthew 5:28
28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

So if a man or woman looks at someone to lust after them then they have committed adultery with them in their heart.

By process of reverse engineering Matt. 5:28, the implication is that if adultery occurs in the heart then marriage occurs in the heart, too.

Does this explain why there is no clearcut criteria for marriage in the Bible? We just need to look a little deeper and read between the lines a bit.
God defined marriage in Genesis 2:24 - That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Obviously "one flesh" is a euphemism for sex. And we know from Matt 19:4-6 the "rest of the story".

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’
5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

So we see that marriage in God's economy is permanent. Therefore, a marriage is a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman. In the OT, when a young man brought a young woman into his tent and they became "one flesh", that was the consummation of what God was describing.

I believe that it seems logical to me that true marriage occurs in the heart. A document and ceremony doesn't validate a marriage. As we know there are plenty of loveless sham marriages.
In the beginning, that was correct. However, fast forward, and a marriage is validated by a document, at least.

However, I believe there are "common law" marriages, which is a marriage is viewed as legal when a man and woman have lived together for 7 years, or something like that.

So what are your thoughts/opinions/debates/rebukes/etc? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Interesting question!