I was reading an old thread that Seoulsearch started about May to December marriages, and I saw a member mentioned she generally likes men who are 10-15 years older than she is. As I was reading it my first thought was "I wonder how many DM's from older men she received after posting that?"
I was curious what information you folks consciously withhold from people in real life. What things do you only tell close friends? (And don't mind sharing on the internet lol) I am curious what minor detail seems like something fairly blase but elicits an odd response from some people. A fun one of mine is that I am unaffected by poison ivy, but I generally don't tell people as I was the subject of a whole lot of envy once it was found out.
Hey Jim!
Great thread topic.
I just wanted to clarify something. While I know I've written threads about age differences, I also remember a thread that Lanolin wrote that specifically mentioned the term "May to December", so I don't know if that's the thread you are referring to, but I didn't want it to seem like I was being given credit for what might have been her thread.
When I read your first sentence, I also misunderstood and thought you were saying that I was the one who said I liked older men (I tend to like guys about my age or sometimes younger, though it depends.) But as you said, it was another member who posted this and I wondered as well if her honest statement had resulted in any messages from men in the older age bracket.
In a world where social media has become normal and it's harder and harder to stay in touch with people unless you're online, I struggle with knowing how much to post. I know one particular member here who has never used their real name in any form and looking back, I wish I had done the same.
But yet I did post a picture in another recent thread, maybe as a partial defense mechanism. There are times when I've been online (including here) and I think things are going great (even just as friends,) but for whatever reason, there were times when some people finally did see my picture, they stopped talking to me (I've had a couple guys tell me it's because I'm not white.)
I understand, but I'm the type of person who would rather just rip the band-aid off myself and let the chips fall where they may. It's kind of like, "Let's just get this over with as soon as possible." If someone doesn't want to talk to me because of looks, I'd rather just know right off the bat rather than wasting any time on either side.
However, my general personality is pretty much a dichotomy, because I also thrive on being anonymous. My parents do a lot of work within any church they are a part of, but I never tell anyone that I'm related to them, just because I find human nature interesting. I've been in situations where people have had entire conversations about my Dad, and they had no idea I was his kid. I'd much rather have people be honest around me rather than put on a fake Jesus mask.
I'm very different from my family so I often wind up at a different church than they do, just because I have different interests and, after being pigeonholed into boxes since I was little, prefer to break loose from those expectations whenever I can. I like doing behind the scenes work and being a nobody, because people are too busy talking about the somebody's to bother us nobody's.
When I post threads here on the forum it's because I want the TOPIC to become the spotlight, not the one who is writing about it. I love nothing more than to start up a firebomb conversation -- and then disappear into the smoke.
Ironically, the things I don't share are often positive things that people have always over-spiritualized or heavily criticized since I was a kid, so I try to just keep them to myself, except forwith the people I've known a long time and are closest to.
Admittedly, this can make it hard to get close to people. One of the reasons I try to always share a personal story about myself in my threads and a lot of my posts is because I'm trying to be relatable. I find it hard to answer threads, inquiries, or posts in which the other person has a "locked" personality (is full of questions or things to "teach" others but doesn't share honestly about themselves) because I value relationships that are equally give-and-take.
I know everyone is different though and some people are just more or less private, which is perfectly understandable in today's crazy world.
Awesome thread!
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