can you guys post something funny please?
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There is this song that I heard often in my grandparents church while I was growing up. It was called " Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow". The words were" Praise God from whom all blessing flow. Praise him all ye people hear below. Praise him above ye heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen."
Well when it came to the second sentence, I thought they were singing hear me low. So while most everyone else was probably singing here below, I was singing it hear me low for a long time.
Well when it came to the second sentence, I thought they were singing hear me low. So while most everyone else was probably singing here below, I was singing it hear me low for a long time.
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No sound, but gotta love home security cameras 
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First off I'm okay but seriously rattled after being robbed at the Mobil gas station this morning. After my hands stopped shaking I called the police. They were quick and helpful at calming me down, but my money is still gone! 🤬
They asked me if I knew who did it and I told them yes, it was pump number 3
They asked me if I knew who did it and I told them yes, it was pump number 3
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A quick 'BAR' joke:
A man in a hardhat walks into a bar and he's lugging a large slab of asphalt/concrete with him. After considerable effort, the man makes it to the barstools and leans the slab on one stool and he sits on the stool beside the slab. The bartender, seeing what happened, rolled his eyes and walks up to the man and says 'What 'll you have"? The man says I'll have two beers. One for myself and one for the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, how about another 'BAR" joke. A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and sit down on stools next to each other. The bartender walks up to the man and asks for his order. The man said to keep the drinks flowing for himself and his friend. Well, it turns out the giraffe couldn't hold his liquor and after a few drinks he collapsed and fell on the floor, out like a light. The man gets up and starts walking toward the door. The bartender runs over ahs says, "Hey buddy, you can't leave that lyin here". The man responds, "Oh, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A man in a hardhat walks into a bar and he's lugging a large slab of asphalt/concrete with him. After considerable effort, the man makes it to the barstools and leans the slab on one stool and he sits on the stool beside the slab. The bartender, seeing what happened, rolled his eyes and walks up to the man and says 'What 'll you have"? The man says I'll have two beers. One for myself and one for the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, how about another 'BAR" joke. A man and a giraffe walk into a bar and sit down on stools next to each other. The bartender walks up to the man and asks for his order. The man said to keep the drinks flowing for himself and his friend. Well, it turns out the giraffe couldn't hold his liquor and after a few drinks he collapsed and fell on the floor, out like a light. The man gets up and starts walking toward the door. The bartender runs over ahs says, "Hey buddy, you can't leave that lyin here". The man responds, "Oh, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A joke:
A middle aged man is fed up with his wife and wants to get rid of her. But he can't divorce her because she'd get the house and all the alimony payments. So, he decides of 'off her', to do away with her. After thinking for a long time on how to do the dirty business, he decided that he couldn't do it himself, not enough expertise.
So, he went 'on line' looking for someone who would do the dirty work for him. He found the website he'd been looking for; "Artie' site advertised that he'd do anything and everything if the money was right." The man decided to contact Artie and set up a meet to discuss the job at hand. They met at a booth at a local McDonald's and the man told Artie that he wanted his wife done away with, pronto.
Artie said he'd do the work for $5,000. But the man said he didn't have that kind of money at the time and that he'd pay Artie when the job was done and his wife's life insurance policy was paid. Then he'd have plenty of dough. Artie agreed but demanded some up front 'good faith' money in advance. The man looked through his wallet and all he had was a dollar. He gave it to Artie and Artie agreed to do the job.
The man gave Artie a picture of his wife and told Artie that she'd be at the local King Soopers store at 10am the next day. Sure enough, Artie was at King Soopers the next day, saw the woman enter and followed her in. He followed her around the store until she was in a secluded aisle. Then he pulled out a rope and strangled her.
Unfortunately, just as she hit the ground, a grocery clerk came upon the scene, and wanting to leave no witnesses, Artie strangled him too. Then Artie made his getaway. Unfortunately, Artie wasn't the brightest criminal, and he left a camera trail a mile wide and the police apprehended him within hours. After a couple hours of interrogation, Artie confessed to everything.
The police chief notified his department to notify the local newspaper of the events, as the townspeople were on edge thinking that a killer was on the loose and in their midst. The editor of the newspaper took the info and ran a special morning edition of his newspaper with a big bold headline. I'm sure by now that you can guess what the headline read!!!!! Page down for the punchline:
ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KING SOOPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A middle aged man is fed up with his wife and wants to get rid of her. But he can't divorce her because she'd get the house and all the alimony payments. So, he decides of 'off her', to do away with her. After thinking for a long time on how to do the dirty business, he decided that he couldn't do it himself, not enough expertise.
So, he went 'on line' looking for someone who would do the dirty work for him. He found the website he'd been looking for; "Artie' site advertised that he'd do anything and everything if the money was right." The man decided to contact Artie and set up a meet to discuss the job at hand. They met at a booth at a local McDonald's and the man told Artie that he wanted his wife done away with, pronto.
Artie said he'd do the work for $5,000. But the man said he didn't have that kind of money at the time and that he'd pay Artie when the job was done and his wife's life insurance policy was paid. Then he'd have plenty of dough. Artie agreed but demanded some up front 'good faith' money in advance. The man looked through his wallet and all he had was a dollar. He gave it to Artie and Artie agreed to do the job.
The man gave Artie a picture of his wife and told Artie that she'd be at the local King Soopers store at 10am the next day. Sure enough, Artie was at King Soopers the next day, saw the woman enter and followed her in. He followed her around the store until she was in a secluded aisle. Then he pulled out a rope and strangled her.
Unfortunately, just as she hit the ground, a grocery clerk came upon the scene, and wanting to leave no witnesses, Artie strangled him too. Then Artie made his getaway. Unfortunately, Artie wasn't the brightest criminal, and he left a camera trail a mile wide and the police apprehended him within hours. After a couple hours of interrogation, Artie confessed to everything.
The police chief notified his department to notify the local newspaper of the events, as the townspeople were on edge thinking that a killer was on the loose and in their midst. The editor of the newspaper took the info and ran a special morning edition of his newspaper with a big bold headline. I'm sure by now that you can guess what the headline read!!!!! Page down for the punchline:
ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT KING SOOPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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G
I thought this was a joke when I first saw a pic linking to a site.
Apparently this is a real thing.........
https://www.netzerocompany.com/prod...sc9ts9WY3zUfeOUVk3_lRFLAU0ZLn-HwaAmZDEALw_wcB
Apparently this is a real thing.........
https://www.netzerocompany.com/prod...sc9ts9WY3zUfeOUVk3_lRFLAU0ZLn-HwaAmZDEALw_wcB
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