Been Single My Whole Life

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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#1
#1
I grew up as an only Child. I think my first girl friend was in kindergarten. If you could call her a "girl friend" back then. But my relationship with girls fell apart after that. I wasn't exactly around anyone Godly. The people I went to school with were just about all into drugs and were anti-christian. The only church that was apart of, fell apart after I started attending for 3 years. The friendships I made there, all fell apart when the church went through a major split. Several years after the major split the denomination that owned it, sold it to another church. My parents and I went to another church for 13 years, we went in whiteout friends and left without friends. We then tried another Church for 2 years. The same thing happened. Next we attended another church for a year. It had some theological differences that we as a family don't think are right so we left. Again, we came in without friends and left without friends. Next we went back to a Church that I grew up in. We were there for another year or 2 and Covid hit. They also fired the pastor. Came in without friends and pretty much left without friends. The point I'm trying to make is, I haven't had a good opportunity to cultivate a relationship with a Godly woman. Now let me back up for a few years. For around 11 years of my life, starting around 2002 to 2013 or so, I knew that my only chance might be online dating. It was really hard because I carried some baggage into it. I with some parents who don't think online dating is a good thing. That caused me to limit what sites I could use. I could get by with using the free ones, and Christian and secular social media sites. But I didn't have any luck meeting anyone who lived in my area. So even when I did get someone to talk to me, the relationships quickly fizzled out. And there is more about this I can talk about, but I'm going to leave it here for now...
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
42,590
17,056
113
69
Tennessee
#2
I know that this site isn't a dating site but I met my wife here, who is also a member, shortly after I joined in 2014. Got married the same year. This site has been quite a blessing in more ways than one. I understand about the baggage. I have made it a point to travel light on my life's journey. I wish you all of God's best in your journey as well.
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#3
#3
I can't travel far, but if I happen to meet a woman who lives close enough to go on a date, then I'm open to it. I just want those who read this, my life has put me through a lot of bumps and bruises, but my heart isn't closed or hardened. I don't see any sense for me to get into another long distance relationship. That does not mean I won't be a pen pal for a woman. But in my current experience, my pen pal online friendships seem to work best man to man. Because there is no possibility for romantic feelings to happen. The conversations are easier because all I got to worry about is talking about things we have in common.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#4
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#4
Seeking-Christ said:
The conversations are easier because all I got to worry about is talking about things we have in common.
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That right there. This is about your best shot here.
Back up... Howdy Seeking-Christ and welcome to the forum.

This is a hang-out-and-chat place, not a find-a-mate place, but there have been a few matches made here for sure. tourist and JesusLives are one such pair. But the only ones I have ever seen find a match are the ones who come here to hang out and chat, and just happen to find someone. People who come here specifically to find a date are always disappointed.

So yeah, conversations without worrying about finding a date seem to be your best bet. ;)
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#5
#5
Lynx said:
That right there. This is about your best shot here.
Back up... Howdy Seeking-Christ and welcome to the forum.

This is a hang-out-and-chat place, not a find-a-mate place, but there have been a few matches made here for sure. tourist and JesusLives are one such pair. But the only ones I have ever seen find a match are the ones who come here to hang out and chat, and just happen to find someone. People who come here specifically to find a date are always disappointed.

So yeah, conversations without worrying about finding a date seem to be your best bet. ;)
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I don't have any hopes for finding a mate here. I started talking to women, and mostly only women, from 2002 until around 2013 or so... It got so tiring trying to keep up. That was when I finally just gave up. If God wants me to be with someone, I think it will just happen. During those years: They'd come onto my life, and in just about as quickly they came, they left. My human heart can't take that kind of abuse. Attach, Detach, Attach, Detach, Attach, Detach, Anyone that can take that must have a heart of stone. Which I do not. I think those women were finding men too easily, so they didn't hold onto what they had.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#6
Seeking-Christ said:
I don't have any hopes for finding a mate here. I started talking to women, and mostly only women, from 2002 until around 2013 or so... It got so tiring trying to keep up. That was when I finally just gave up. If God wants me to be with someone, I think it will just happen. During those years: They'd come onto my life, and in just about as quickly they came, they left. My human heart can't take that kind of abuse. Attach, Detach, Attach, Detach, Attach, Detach, Anyone that can take that must have a heart of stone. Which I do not. I think those women were finding men too easily, so they didn't hold onto what they had.
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That sounds like a recipe for ulcers, mate. Glad you got off that merry go round.

I'm 44 and still single. It's a peaceful life. Not very exciting, but comfortable.

It's not for everyone, mind you. But for the ones it is for, it's quite a nice life.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#7
#7
Lynx said:
That sounds like a recipe for ulcers, mate. Glad you got off that merry go round.

I'm 44 and still single. It's a peaceful life. Not very exciting, but comfortable.

It's not for everyone, mind you. But for the ones it is for, it's quite a nice life.
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I'm 42 and will be soon be 43 in May.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#8
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#8
Seeking-Christ said:
I grew up as an only Child. I think my first girl friend was in kindergarten. If you could call her a "girl friend" back then. But my relationship with girls fell apart after that. I wasn't exactly around anyone Godly. The people I went to school with were just about all into drugs and were anti-christian. The only church that was apart of, fell apart after I started attending for 3 years. The friendships I made there, all fell apart when the church went through a major split. Several years after the major split the denomination that owned it, sold it to another church. My parents and I went to another church for 13 years, we went in whiteout friends and left without friends. We then tried another Church for 2 years. The same thing happened. Next we attended another church for a year. It had some theological differences that we as a family don't think are right so we left. Again, we came in without friends and left without friends. Next we went back to a Church that I grew up in. We were there for another year or 2 and Covid hit. They also fired the pastor. Came in without friends and pretty much left without friends. The point I'm trying to make is, I haven't had a good opportunity to cultivate a relationship with a Godly woman. Now let me back up for a few years. For around 11 years of my life, starting around 2002 to 2013 or so, I knew that my only chance might be online dating. It was really hard because I carried some baggage into it. I with some parents who don't think online dating is a good thing. That caused me to limit what sites I could use. I could get by with using the free ones, and Christian and secular social media sites. But I didn't have any luck meeting anyone who lived in my area. So even when I did get someone to talk to me, the relationships quickly fizzled out. And there is more about this I can talk about, but I'm going to leave it here for now...
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Paragraphs are your friend. They're all our friends.
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#9
#9
Subhumanoidal said:
Paragraphs are your friend. They're all our friends.
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Paragraphs are used when you change thought. I did not change thought. Therefor the whole thing is just one paragraph. And it isn't even that long.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#10
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
#10
Seeking-Christ said:
Paragraphs are used when you change thought. I did not change thought. Therefor the whole thing is just one paragraph. And it isn't even that long.
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Creating a wall of text will discourage some users from even attempting to read your posts. On my phone with a large screen your post fills the entire screen and beyond.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#11
Seeking-Christ said:
Paragraphs are used when you change thought. I did not change thought. Therefor the whole thing is just one paragraph. And it isn't even that long.
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Dude. He's trying to help you, not put you down.

He took the time to give you a bit of advice that will help you make posts people will (hopefully) read, not ignore.

I also thought it was rather a wall-of-text, but I read it anyway. I didn't say anything because it was the first wall-of-text I had seen from you, so I hoped it might be an aberration.
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#12
#12
@Subhumanoidal
@Lynx

If you guys don't want to read my posts, I'm perfectly find with that. :)

I did not join this site to be fighting with you. Nor am I here to make excuses for why I do what I do. I am a busy person. And I do the best I can. Now with that being said, I have an opinion about smart phones. i think they are wrecking our society. Making it dumber and more rude. A PC or Laptop are better tools for a forum like this.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#13
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#13
Seeking-Christ said:
@Subhumanoidal
@Lynx

If you guys don't want to read my posts, I'm perfectly find with that. :)

I did not join this site to be fighting with you. Nor am I here to make excuses for why I do what I do. I am a busy person. And I do the best I can. Now with that being said, I have an opinion about smart phones. i think they are wrecking our society. Making it dumber and more rude. A PC or Laptop are better tools for a forum like this.
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And they are easier to type on. No matter what Swype tries to accomplish, smartphone on-screen keyboards will never be as fast.

Downright handy though, especially for controlling the church sound board from places other than the sound booth.

We're not fighting anyone, by the way. Sub made a helpful comment, you basically told him he's wrong and I commented that Sub was trying to be helpful. That's not a fight. The Bible Discussion Forum is a fight. This is just random comments in passing.
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#14
#14
Lynx said:
And they are easier to type on. No matter what Swype tries to accomplish, smartphone on-screen keyboards will never be as fast.

Downright handy though, especially for controlling the church sound board from places other than the sound booth.

We're not fighting anyone, by the way. Sub made a helpful comment, you basically told him he's wrong and I commented that Sub was trying to be helpful. That's not a fight. The Bible Discussion Forum is a fight. This is just random comments in passing.
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All He needed to do was tell me that He was having trouble reading my stuff on his phone, and I would of been happy to make an adjustment. But it seems he assumed that I already knew that. Or maybe He was lazy because it's harder to type on a phone. But whatever the case is, I'm not on this site for conflict.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#15
Seeking-Christ said:
All He needed to do was tell me that He was having trouble reading my stuff on his phone, and I would of been happy to make an adjustment. But it seems he assumed that I already knew that. Or maybe He was lazy because it's harder to type on a phone. But whatever the case is, I'm not on this site for conflict.
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Well don't worry about it. Sub probably won't say another thing in this thread. Most likely he said to himself, "Well there's one who can't take a word of advice without getting all offended" and went off to do something more profitable. :whistle:
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#16
#16
Lynx said:
Well don't worry about it. Sub probably won't say another thing in this thread. Most likely he said to himself, "Well there's one who can't take a word of advice without getting all offended" and went off to do something more profitable. :whistle:
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No offense, but if my memory serves me right. He hasn't been very helpful anyways. Mostly making comments that are almost meaningless too me. Every time he says something without any depth. So I don't care. That's on him. (((shruggs)))
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#17
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#17
Seeking-Christ said:
No offense, but if my memory serves me right. He hasn't been very helpful anyways. Mostly making comments that are almost meaningless too me. Every time he says something without any depth. So I don't care. That's on him. (((shruggs)))
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Gonna have to disagree with you again. He is actually quintessentially helpful.

Problem is, he is also very blunt. He doesn't waste a lot of energy trying to be polite. So people shrug off what he says as "Whatever, he's just a jerk" a lot, without really paying attention to what he says.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#18
#18
Lynx said:
Gonna have to disagree with you again. He is actually quintessentially helpful.

Problem is, he is also very blunt. He doesn't waste a lot of energy trying to be polite. So people shrug off what he says as "Whatever, he's just a jerk" a lot, without really paying attention to what he says.
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Again, that is on him. Let him defend himself.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#19
Aug 13, 2014
27,359
9,372
113
#19
Seeking-Christ said:
Again, that is on him. Let him defend himself.
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Yeah, some could say that since people brush off his advice because of his delivery, it averages out to "not very helpful" in spite of the good sense he makes. I've mentioned the same to him myself.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#20
#20
Lynx said:
Yeah, some could say that since people brush off his advice because of his delivery, it averages out to "not very helpful" in spite of the good sense he makes. I've mentioned the same to him myself.
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This is just my opinion, and you are free to agree or disagree. This is not the way God designed us to communicate. Human's do a better job reading each other face to face. We only invented the letter, telegram, telephone, text messaging, forums etc. Because it allows us to communicate long distances with people we wouldn't normally be able to talk too. One must keep in mind that there are limitations with this kind of communication. Some people handle the limitations better than others.
 
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