S
This is a big problem because it has been going on for around 19 years! You'd think, that if I was doing something wrong, I would of learned what it is by now! haha, Yeah, well, I can't figure it. That's why I'm asking for prayer.
I feel that I need to apologize for how long this post is. I’ve been through a lot, and even with as long as this post is, it can not cover everything.
Before writing this, I read two articles on Ghosting. I’m providing links for anyone who is interested.
Ghosting (behavior)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghosting_(behavior)
Why People Ghost — and How to Get Over It (This article is behind a paywall. But there is a way around it)
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/22/smarter-living/why-people-ghost-and-how-to-get-over-it.html
When I came up with idea of writing this post, I had no idea where to start. And I had no idea where I wanted to post it. I thought about putting in the singles threads, or the blog threads, or the prayer request threads. But I think it should be in the prayer request threads. Because I have been given unhelpful advice before. I’m not sure if there is any advice that is helpful. It seems people, now days, simply ghost people because things are just not working out. In other words, people who ghost, in my opinion are cowards! Your free to disagree with me if you wish. And you are free to pray about this, however you wish. But I do think they are often cowards, because they don’t want to face the pain of properly breaking things off.
With all that said, I don’t like “breaking up” either. But here on the internet, I’m not sure why anyone needs to break up, unless there is some major issue. Because in my experience people just seem to get bored and go away on their own!
My number one problem with woman on the internet has not been fights or misunderstandings. They just go away. They ghost me. So I almost never know what was wrong with what I’m talking about.
I thought I would take a little time to tell you how my first meetings with women online was like.
In the early years, I didn’t know what I was doing. Honestly even after 19 years of experimentation, I still don’t claim to know what I’m doing! At first I did the guy thing. Men are often considered to be the hunters. Well that is what I did. I was the one who found the women in AOL, and Yahoo chatrooms and tried to create conversation. I actually worked really hard on these early conversations. I was open about life, and did the best I could. But these conversations was so annoying. The responses I got was like “ok” “ok” “lol” “ok” “lol” “ok”. Then if I brought up something about sex. Which is something that I probably shouldn’t be talking about. Then I would get a few more lines. If women tell you they don’t like talking about sex. I think they are lying! Anyways, never mind the sex thing… Sometimes things would go far enough that we would exchange pictures. THAT WAS DANGEROUS because sometimes the pictures I received were nude or worse. The sad thing was, often times if I shared a picture of my face, she would either just log off or block me! Am I really that ugly?
Then I moved from Chatrooms to social media. Myspace and various Christian social media was what I first used. They were a little better. But if you consider the people I met on the Christian social media sites, I’m not in contact with any of them anymore. That era of my life ended around 2007 ~ 2011. My favorite Christian social media site banned me. In case your wondering. I was bored and told a joke, that one of the moderators took an exception too. But I’m not going to talk about that in this post. After that happened, my Christian social media experiences really declined fast. Many of the other sites was on, were getting taken over by teenagers. And the rules were bending in their favor. I gradually began leaving those sites. Then I got involved with Facebook.
Facebook seemed like a god send. Finally after all these years, I was able to come in contact with people who were local. But facebook didn’t like how many people I was adding to my friends list, or how many people I tried to strike up conversations with in private messages. I got banned from facebook for those things.
It seems like I got away from my main topic. But I really haven’t! You see a lot of the issues I described, happened as a side effect of me trying to meet women online. Every time I got ghosted, I had to start all over. I lost track of how many times I’ve had to start all over.
Now you might be wondering about dating sites. When I first started, dating sites was apart of what I was doing. During the Christian social media experiences, I wasn’t playing around with dating sites that much. I’m not sure if it’s fortunate or not, my parents don’t like the idea of me meeting people online. My mom watches my credit card bill. Which means, I couldn’t join most dating sites. I had to stick with the free ones, or I would try to put my email address somewhere on a pay site. But that was probably bad of me.
I remember the last several ladies I met on Okcupid. If you ask me Okcupid is a load of filth. Just about all the questions for matching, had to do with immoral sex.
On Okcupid I met several ladies that I talked too on the phone. Some lived too far away. One wanted me to pray with her over the phone. I did. But after that she started cussing like a sailor. Then the last woman I talked too, picked up the phone and said, “Um I should of told you, I already found someone, goodbye” After that very short conversation, I said to myself, why I do I put myself through this? I deleted my account, and never went back!
After reading this, I hope you didn’t get the impression that I talk a lot about sex. I’m trying not to make this post any longer then necessary! But I could write a whole section on that subject. But to make things sorter. I want you to know that I tried to avoid talking about sex too much. However in my early years, it was a bigger subject because of the way I saw the world. After a few years, I started distancing myself from the subject. The whole thing was a huge experiment to find out what topics would keep the person from ghosting me. But what I learned is, it didn’t matter what the subject matter was. She is always going to ghost me. I think the truth is, I’m not a perfect person, and if she’s looking for Mr. Perfect, then she will always find something wrong with me, and then just disappear.
Things I haven't covered in this post:
I didn't talk about how the conversations went in the Christian Social Networking sites.
I didn't talk about all the phone conversations.
i didn't talk about the difference between me contacting a woman verses her contacting me.
* This is all stuff that I could tell you about in length, later. I think all you currently need to know is these things didn't go well.
I feel that I need to apologize for how long this post is. I’ve been through a lot, and even with as long as this post is, it can not cover everything.
Before writing this, I read two articles on Ghosting. I’m providing links for anyone who is interested.
Ghosting (behavior)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghosting_(behavior)
Why People Ghost — and How to Get Over It (This article is behind a paywall. But there is a way around it)
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/22/smarter-living/why-people-ghost-and-how-to-get-over-it.html
When I came up with idea of writing this post, I had no idea where to start. And I had no idea where I wanted to post it. I thought about putting in the singles threads, or the blog threads, or the prayer request threads. But I think it should be in the prayer request threads. Because I have been given unhelpful advice before. I’m not sure if there is any advice that is helpful. It seems people, now days, simply ghost people because things are just not working out. In other words, people who ghost, in my opinion are cowards! Your free to disagree with me if you wish. And you are free to pray about this, however you wish. But I do think they are often cowards, because they don’t want to face the pain of properly breaking things off.
With all that said, I don’t like “breaking up” either. But here on the internet, I’m not sure why anyone needs to break up, unless there is some major issue. Because in my experience people just seem to get bored and go away on their own!
My number one problem with woman on the internet has not been fights or misunderstandings. They just go away. They ghost me. So I almost never know what was wrong with what I’m talking about.
I thought I would take a little time to tell you how my first meetings with women online was like.
In the early years, I didn’t know what I was doing. Honestly even after 19 years of experimentation, I still don’t claim to know what I’m doing! At first I did the guy thing. Men are often considered to be the hunters. Well that is what I did. I was the one who found the women in AOL, and Yahoo chatrooms and tried to create conversation. I actually worked really hard on these early conversations. I was open about life, and did the best I could. But these conversations was so annoying. The responses I got was like “ok” “ok” “lol” “ok” “lol” “ok”. Then if I brought up something about sex. Which is something that I probably shouldn’t be talking about. Then I would get a few more lines. If women tell you they don’t like talking about sex. I think they are lying! Anyways, never mind the sex thing… Sometimes things would go far enough that we would exchange pictures. THAT WAS DANGEROUS because sometimes the pictures I received were nude or worse. The sad thing was, often times if I shared a picture of my face, she would either just log off or block me! Am I really that ugly?
Then I moved from Chatrooms to social media. Myspace and various Christian social media was what I first used. They were a little better. But if you consider the people I met on the Christian social media sites, I’m not in contact with any of them anymore. That era of my life ended around 2007 ~ 2011. My favorite Christian social media site banned me. In case your wondering. I was bored and told a joke, that one of the moderators took an exception too. But I’m not going to talk about that in this post. After that happened, my Christian social media experiences really declined fast. Many of the other sites was on, were getting taken over by teenagers. And the rules were bending in their favor. I gradually began leaving those sites. Then I got involved with Facebook.
Facebook seemed like a god send. Finally after all these years, I was able to come in contact with people who were local. But facebook didn’t like how many people I was adding to my friends list, or how many people I tried to strike up conversations with in private messages. I got banned from facebook for those things.
It seems like I got away from my main topic. But I really haven’t! You see a lot of the issues I described, happened as a side effect of me trying to meet women online. Every time I got ghosted, I had to start all over. I lost track of how many times I’ve had to start all over.
Now you might be wondering about dating sites. When I first started, dating sites was apart of what I was doing. During the Christian social media experiences, I wasn’t playing around with dating sites that much. I’m not sure if it’s fortunate or not, my parents don’t like the idea of me meeting people online. My mom watches my credit card bill. Which means, I couldn’t join most dating sites. I had to stick with the free ones, or I would try to put my email address somewhere on a pay site. But that was probably bad of me.
I remember the last several ladies I met on Okcupid. If you ask me Okcupid is a load of filth. Just about all the questions for matching, had to do with immoral sex.
On Okcupid I met several ladies that I talked too on the phone. Some lived too far away. One wanted me to pray with her over the phone. I did. But after that she started cussing like a sailor. Then the last woman I talked too, picked up the phone and said, “Um I should of told you, I already found someone, goodbye” After that very short conversation, I said to myself, why I do I put myself through this? I deleted my account, and never went back!
After reading this, I hope you didn’t get the impression that I talk a lot about sex. I’m trying not to make this post any longer then necessary! But I could write a whole section on that subject. But to make things sorter. I want you to know that I tried to avoid talking about sex too much. However in my early years, it was a bigger subject because of the way I saw the world. After a few years, I started distancing myself from the subject. The whole thing was a huge experiment to find out what topics would keep the person from ghosting me. But what I learned is, it didn’t matter what the subject matter was. She is always going to ghost me. I think the truth is, I’m not a perfect person, and if she’s looking for Mr. Perfect, then she will always find something wrong with me, and then just disappear.
Things I haven't covered in this post:
I didn't talk about how the conversations went in the Christian Social Networking sites.
I didn't talk about all the phone conversations.
i didn't talk about the difference between me contacting a woman verses her contacting me.
* This is all stuff that I could tell you about in length, later. I think all you currently need to know is these things didn't go well.
