Hello Everyone,
One of the things God has reminded me of over the past several years is that God blesses His followers with a peace of mind.
However, we are responsible for making choices that maintain our peace (and, as Christians, we are to also respect the peace of others.) He has reminded me often seeking out, desiring, or maintaining the wrong attention often robs us, and others, of that peace.
The reason this has been so strongly on my mind is because God has convicted me of things such as: 1. stating things that will shock or pull people in because of the drama or a strong opinion--it generates the wrong attention (God wants me to think before I speak or write--I fail many times but am trying to get better); 2. listening to, or contributing to conversations that promote gossip, shock, or drama, (again, guilty as charged but I'm working on it!); and, 3. being attracted to someone simply because he is paying attention to me.
The last issue has really been on my heart, seeing as I'm heading into 9 years of being single with no relationship. However... when I look back at the past, I realize I got into the wrong relationships because... a guy was paying attention to me.
I understand the rush of someone seemingly going out of their way to talk to you, contact you, or ask you questions no one else bothers to ask. I know the pull of being around someone who seems to make you laugh, think, or even cry... and it's all so attractive because it's a change of pace from the dull ache and pain of everyday life. But... it's also being pulled toward the wrong person... for the wrong reasons. We find ourselves trying to justify things we shouldn't ("Oh sure, he might not go to church regularly or be that into the faith, but maybe I can be a good influence on him!") or being willing to compromise things about ourselves that we should never compromise ("She drinks a little too much... but maybe I can help her...")
I don't know if any of you have experienced this, but the bottom line is, at least for me, that God is telling me flat-out: "You are addicted to the attention you're getting, and it's the wrong kind of attention and not what I want for you. You know you need to break this off/stop doing these things... But you just don't want to and you're choosing not to." In other words, God is saying to me, "You can do things my way, or you can do things your way. It's your choice." It's TOUGH, because I sit and think... "Ok, Lord... how long? Do you want me to sit here quietly and be alone forever?"
And yet... when people ask me, "So... I think I like this or that person... what do you think? I really think something could work out between us..." (even though they have all the same incompatibilities that seem to be pretty much impossible hindrances to a lasting relationship) and I want to tell gently tell them, "Sweetheart, you're just addicted to the attention that person is giving you." I try to point it out gently but I know they probably won't listen--after all, I never did!! But in the end, all it does is pull a person into an endless cycle of grief, trauma, and turmoil. We're left shouting, "Why, why, WHY?" when in the end... maybe it was actually our own bad choice to hang on in the first place.
It seems there are some things that most of us choose to learn the hard way.
How about all of you? Have you gone through the same things? Does God ever convict you of being around the wrong people or saying/ doing certain things just because you feel a need for attention? (Sometimes even if we don't think we need the attention, we're still addicted to it--saying shocking/offensive things gives one a sense of power. One true test I've found for myself is if I can't seem to stop doing/saying/writing things I know will inflame others, or if I can't seem to stop talking to/hanging around people who pay attention to me but don't contribute to who I am in a positive way, I'm probably chasing after attention more than I'm chasing after God's will.)
Does anyone else out there ever feel this way? And, if you ever do feel convicted of being attracted to attention in an unhealthy way, what steps do you take in order to change it?
(The poll is multiple choice--feel free to choose as many as you feel apply.)
One of the things God has reminded me of over the past several years is that God blesses His followers with a peace of mind.
However, we are responsible for making choices that maintain our peace (and, as Christians, we are to also respect the peace of others.) He has reminded me often seeking out, desiring, or maintaining the wrong attention often robs us, and others, of that peace.
The reason this has been so strongly on my mind is because God has convicted me of things such as: 1. stating things that will shock or pull people in because of the drama or a strong opinion--it generates the wrong attention (God wants me to think before I speak or write--I fail many times but am trying to get better); 2. listening to, or contributing to conversations that promote gossip, shock, or drama, (again, guilty as charged but I'm working on it!); and, 3. being attracted to someone simply because he is paying attention to me.
The last issue has really been on my heart, seeing as I'm heading into 9 years of being single with no relationship. However... when I look back at the past, I realize I got into the wrong relationships because... a guy was paying attention to me.
I understand the rush of someone seemingly going out of their way to talk to you, contact you, or ask you questions no one else bothers to ask. I know the pull of being around someone who seems to make you laugh, think, or even cry... and it's all so attractive because it's a change of pace from the dull ache and pain of everyday life. But... it's also being pulled toward the wrong person... for the wrong reasons. We find ourselves trying to justify things we shouldn't ("Oh sure, he might not go to church regularly or be that into the faith, but maybe I can be a good influence on him!") or being willing to compromise things about ourselves that we should never compromise ("She drinks a little too much... but maybe I can help her...")
I don't know if any of you have experienced this, but the bottom line is, at least for me, that God is telling me flat-out: "You are addicted to the attention you're getting, and it's the wrong kind of attention and not what I want for you. You know you need to break this off/stop doing these things... But you just don't want to and you're choosing not to." In other words, God is saying to me, "You can do things my way, or you can do things your way. It's your choice." It's TOUGH, because I sit and think... "Ok, Lord... how long? Do you want me to sit here quietly and be alone forever?"
And yet... when people ask me, "So... I think I like this or that person... what do you think? I really think something could work out between us..." (even though they have all the same incompatibilities that seem to be pretty much impossible hindrances to a lasting relationship) and I want to tell gently tell them, "Sweetheart, you're just addicted to the attention that person is giving you." I try to point it out gently but I know they probably won't listen--after all, I never did!! But in the end, all it does is pull a person into an endless cycle of grief, trauma, and turmoil. We're left shouting, "Why, why, WHY?" when in the end... maybe it was actually our own bad choice to hang on in the first place.
It seems there are some things that most of us choose to learn the hard way.
How about all of you? Have you gone through the same things? Does God ever convict you of being around the wrong people or saying/ doing certain things just because you feel a need for attention? (Sometimes even if we don't think we need the attention, we're still addicted to it--saying shocking/offensive things gives one a sense of power. One true test I've found for myself is if I can't seem to stop doing/saying/writing things I know will inflame others, or if I can't seem to stop talking to/hanging around people who pay attention to me but don't contribute to who I am in a positive way, I'm probably chasing after attention more than I'm chasing after God's will.)
Does anyone else out there ever feel this way? And, if you ever do feel convicted of being attracted to attention in an unhealthy way, what steps do you take in order to change it?
(The poll is multiple choice--feel free to choose as many as you feel apply.)
And then I come here. When I read between the lines and see the pain so many people are going through, my life seems a whole lot simpler. It also helps to realize that just because someone may be making their point in a way that appears antisocial doesn't mean there's not a valid point buried in the mud.
