Hey Everyone,
I have been thinking a lot lately about the fact that most people in this world don't receive very much encouragement. We may have been praised as children (though we all know many didn't even receive that,) but anything positive pretty much disappears as soon as you become an adult -- and then all you hear are things like, "Why did you do that?" and "You need to do better."
After watching an elderly relative survive his wife's death, I am especially concerned about men, because he told me that it's very hard for men to make friends, and for many, their only social interaction and feedback is from the woman they marry.
We are also all aware that even in some marriages, people never hear a kind or encouraging word from their spouses. Life is hard enough as it is, let alone surviving on a steady diet of either being ignored or constantly criticized.
I can only speak from my own perspective, but it seems that many women at least get encouragement from their female friends -- women often compliment each other for their abilities, outfits, the way they look, etc. Still, most women are still in dire need of feedback that uplifts their spirits.
And what about men? Even guy friends don't exactly shower each other with praise. I guess some men might say they don't need it, but I tend to believe that everyone, whether man or woman, needs to hear positive things on a regular basis.
So how can we as Christians do something to remedy this?
I once had a young male team leader who was always getting chewed out by the higher boss: "Why didn't you meet production targets today? You need to get faster. I don't want to hear any excuses."
And yet, this young guy never let that negativity trickle down. At the end of every day, he always told us thank you and that he really appreciated all our hard work (because we were in a situation most are in today, where companies are demanding workloads that just aren't humanly possible.) It really disheartened me to see how he was being treated, and so I tried to regularly tried to compliment him regarding his own hard work, organization, etc., but without sounding overdone or insincere.
It also made me sad that his boss was probably treating him that way because he was being mistreated by the higher ups, and all the toxicity was snowballing down the hill.
Despite all my quirks, at heart, I know one of my callings from God is to try to encourage others. But political correctness and the #MeToo movement seems to have made it almost impossible to give a well-meaning compliment without being taken to court, especially in the work place.
I am certainly not trying to judge or criticize anyone who has been victimized -- I believe all victims deserve God's righteous justice -- but what I mean is, you just don't know how much trouble you might get into these days for giving compliment, even when all you're trying to do is to give someone a positive word.
I don't think it's a secret that most women like being complimented, and I don't think twice about complimenting a woman, even when it comes to looks ("Your hair looks fantastic today!")
But I know that most men are probably petrified at the thought of trying to compliment a woman, fearing they're going to get slapped with some kind of criminal accusation.
Likewise, I am very cautious in the way I compliment men. While I'm just guessing that men secretly don't mind being complimented on their looks as well, I'm always careful to avoid any comments about looks and compliment their character, work ethic, profession of faith, etc. (unless we know each other well) because I don't want it be mistaken for romantic interest or even worse, sexual harassment.
How about all of you?
* Did you receive much praise as a child, and do you receive much now? Do you wish you had more of it in your life?
* What do you feel is a safe way to approach someone in order to give a compliment?
* What things do you do to uplift other people, and what advice can you give for doing so?
* Should opposite genders avoid complimenting each other? What do you feel is the best way for men and women to sincerely praise one another?
Our sinful world is shrouded in criticism and negativity.
I am happy to be part of a community that is trying to change that, one kind word at a time.
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