Well said. You’re very fortunate and blessed to have retained an open mind and the ability to think critically. It’s certainly a rare breed in Christianity and I believe it has allowed you to access deeper spiritual truths.
I keep an open mind because I want to live (the real meaning of living which goes beyond having fun). I sometimes feel like I have eyes all around my head. I can sense things that choke off life, freedom, happiness, and so I avoid them. A closed mind chokes off life.
Also, I'm not a people-pleaser, so I don't want to pretend to be better/greater than I am (which is one of the main reasons christians are close-minded on doctrines: pride and overly caring how others perceive you). In 2002, while working at a Rooms to Go Showrooms in Atlanta, GA, an interior designer came in one day to help set up the furniture (etc.) to make it look nicer to customers. She was supposed to be there maybe two weeks doing that. I started helping her set things up, because I have a
natural talent for design. Get this: she was happy to have my help and didn't have a problem with me helping her...
until it dawned on her that I actually knew what I was doing. She began to be uncomfortable and finally told me one day she didn't need my help anymore.
She had a whole college degree in interior design; I was just a houseman (the guys who wrap up and prepare to deliver any furniture a customer buys off the showroom floor (most showroom items, however, couldn't be ought and were only for show so if you wanted say a bed on the showroom floor, we would have it delivered to you from our warehouse).
I had no right to be 'as good as her' when she was supposed to be 'better than me'. My freedom from needing to impress others allows me to learn more and faster than others. God put a lot of genius in our design and that's the way it works. The Bible also says about those who deny God's existence,
"Believing themselves to be wise, they became fools" (Romans 1:22).
I cannot and will not attempt to begin to enumerate how true I have found this to be: the smarter a person thinks he is, the dumber he
becomes (look at all the 'liberalized' and 'enlightened' students coming out of college for example); the more power a person thinks he has, the less power he has; the more superior a person thinks he is, the more inferior he becomes. Jesus
hid this 'reverse principle' in many things He said not the least of which was when the apostles were debating which of them would be greatest in God's Kingdom:
Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:42-45).
The principle is said far more succinctly here after Jesus's disciples were arguing about which of them would be greatest in God's Kingdom:
"Who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines? But I am among you as one who serves" (Luke 22:27).
Humility is what allows people to access deeper spiritual truths (the Bible is replete with this truth, from Genesis to Revelation). Humility is attractive to God in a similar way that an attractive woman is attractive to a man. Just like a man with an attractive woman, he's favorably disposed toward her and will treat her better than he treats other women. In the same way, a person with humility makes God want to be near the person and to
give them more than He would give to others to the point that others will say that the favored person doesn't deserve all the things God gives/has given them, because
the favor is unmerited and free, the result of God's pleasure with the person (Joseph among his brothers is one good example). This is why the Bible says, **
"God opposes the proud but gives Grace to the humble" (James 4:6).
Humility is not what most people seem to think it is. Humility has far more to do with the posture of one's heart than the way the person might appear on the surface. So, a humble person isn't going to 'look humble', and the word 'humble' doesn't mean a person is devoid of pride. God called Moses the meekest man on the planet in his time;
yet, God banned Moses from entering the Promised Land because Moses acted in pride and therefore misrepresented God-- who is not proud-- to Israel.
*
"God resists the proud but gives Grace to the humble" (1Peter 5:5).
*
"He has no use for conceited people, but shows favor to those who are humble" (Proverbs 3:34).