Asking HER out??? What's the best way? Guys, don't vote. For gals only.

[Stratocaster]

So it looks like 90% of women voted for the "direct approach", but keep in mind that 90% of women don't actually know what they want.

 

[HoneyDew]

Maybe the 90% of women that YOU know.

 

[christiancollegegirl]

I picked direct. That way I know exactly what he wants and can answer accordingly. If it's a complete stranger, then there's a 99.89 chance the answer will be no. If it's someone I know casually, then I might say yes.

 

[Jullianna]

Maybe we're just all a bunch of big ole chickens. The guys are afraid to ask us. The ladies are afraid to ask for clarification. So we do the dance....guys approach us appearing to be interested. We respond. They back off for a bit (never sure what that's all about, but there it is...). We think they're not interested and think of us as "just friends", so we move along. They stop back by on the dance floor and chat a bit in a way that suggests more than "just friends", but still don't really make a move. We think they're just messing with us, so we move along. *sigh*

 

[GreenNnice]

Yeah, I should make myself more clear I see now, ladies.

------
I am talking about preferring a direct , indirect , or creative 'ask' from someone you barely know. In other words, you either have just met at a grocery store shopping aisle and engage in small talk, 2-3 minutes, or, also, maybe situation could be: Guy runs into you (not literally) after a church singles group and you only know him from name introduction handshakes or maybe having gone out on a group date with church singles group and laughed at the guy's jokes , with everyone else, or, maybe not with everyone else , but that was as far as relationship developed, if you want to call it 'developed,' LOL lots of laughs.

 

[rainacorn]

I picked creative for a couple reasons:

1. Wittiness is a quality I value. As is confidence.
2. It leaves everyone an out. It can be laughed off or taken seriously without things getting weird. If it's a friend asking, this is a great way around a lot of potential drama.

I'm married now, but back when I was dating I always found it uncomfortable when someone just asked me plainly 'Do you want to go out for coffee?' There's something that seemed kind of pathetic about it? Desperate maybe? Like they had to work up a lot of nerve just to get that out there.

I would usually say yes and go on the date, sad as it was, but those sorts of things never worked out as well as a little humor and a lot of confidence.

 

[nickip18]

Direct, I dont know about anyone else but I dont pick up on the subtle approach, I'd probably say yes thinking the guy was joking then not turn up.

If your shy to ask directly why not do it over facebook or something? then you dont have to face the gal if she says no (not that she would say no)

i dunno id just rather be asked directly then is no misunderstanding

 

[GreenNnice]

Maybe we're just all a bunch of big ole chickens. The guys are afraid to ask us. The ladies are afraid to ask for clarification. So we do the dance....guys approach us appearing to be interested. We respond. They back off for a bit (never sure what that's all about, but there it is...). We think they're not interested and think of us as "just friends", so we move along. They stop back by on the dance floor and chat a bit in a way that suggests more than "just friends", but still don't really make a move. We think they're just messing with us, so we move along. *sigh*

---I think this is a perfect example , julieannie.

Guy dances with you, he let's off a clue he likes you, by maybe, AHEM! , a creative 'ask' (man, lady, you Keep dancing like that and I will have to sign us up for dancing lessons.') and girl SMILES.

Guy then thinks, ''She didn't say a thing to me. Was that smile like 'oh, please,' as in sarcastic, like would I really want to do that with you. Guess, that's it, she didn't say even one word.'

........
I think the majority of guys, IF we've done a creative ask, want a word from the girl we've asked, just one, like 'OK,' or a laugh , at the very least, as that, at least, let's us know she's cruel (vain as Carly Simon sings) and we can walk off dejected but , at least, thinking, 'Lord, she laughed at my ask (no, a CREATIVE ASK is not a COMMENT, girlnextdoor maybe one of you ladies can PM her to, because this thread was solely (soully?) created from her 'woo' thread , thx )

----anyway, the double clueless ask beat goes on, thump, thump, Thu-UMP

And, sure, I agree, from your poll answer majority voted answer, aDIRECT ask is what you prefer, but a lot of guys really are good guys, ladies and their creative ask simply speaks of their creative abilities to do life

---

 

[GreenNnice]

I picked creative for a couple reasons:

1. Wittiness is a quality I value. As is confidence.
2. It leaves everyone an out. It can be laughed off or taken seriously without things getting weird. If it's a friend asking, this is a great way around a lot of potential drama.

I'm married now, but back when I was dating I always found it uncomfortable when someone just asked me plainly 'Do you want to go out for coffee?' There's something that seemed kind of pathetic about it? Desperate maybe? Like they had to work up a lot of nerve just to get that out there.

I would usually say yes and go on the date, sad as it was, but those sorts of things never worked out as well as a little humor and a lot of confidence.

----yes., I'm a fan of your 1 and 2 . Now , guys, can you give the ladies here, a 3,4 , or, maybe even a 2,4,6,8


------
Nicki, Perfectly logical, if you don't pick up on a subtle approach. But isn't it being far less than subtle if you are dancing with a guy and he suddenly throws out a line like, ' man , girl, you got two left feet , like me, I think we would do coffee together well too.'

That's what I see now by Gray's book, men from Mars and women from Pluto. Oh, ok, you can be from Venus . I mean, what we think is right out there , with a creative ask definitely not a comment but a bonafided ask out of you for coffee.' Man, ladies, you are so WEIRD . LOL.

 

[allforfun]

The more I read this thread, the more I realize a note with "do you like me, yes or no" would be perfect for me.

 

[nickip18]

"But isn't it being far less than subtle if you are dancing with a guy and he suddenly throws out a line like, ' man , girl, you got two left feet , like me, I think we would do coffee together well too." --- I'd still probably think the guy was joking but now I know what they probably mean, thanks for the insight

Boys say girls are weird and girls say boys are weird, maybe were all just weird

 

[Jullianna]

Yeah, I should make myself more clear I see now, ladies.

------
I am talking about preferring a direct , indirect , or creative 'ask' from someone you barely know. In other words, you either have just met at a grocery store shopping aisle and engage in small talk, 2-3 minutes, or, also, maybe situation could be: Guy runs into you (not literally) after a church singles group and you only know him from name introduction handshakes or maybe having gone out on a group date with church singles group and laughed at the guy's jokes , with everyone else, or, maybe not with everyone else , but that was as far as relationship developed, if you want to call it 'developed,' LOL lots of laughs.

To be perfectly honest, after reading about all of the horrible dating experiences of others in these threads, I'm more hesitant than ever to date a stranger. My response to a total stranger at the grocery store would be quite different than to a gentleman I may have gotten to know through church.

If a stranger at a grocery store asked me to join him for coffee somewhere, I would consider it, but I would, of course insist upon driving myself. I might give him my email address and phone number if it went well, but would want to talk with him over the phone a couple of times or meet him somewhere else a couple of times to get to know him before giving him my address and allowing him to pick me up.

I would definitely be more responsive to someone I met at church because, hopefully, he's there to draw closer to the Lord and not just pick up women. I hope...

 

[GreenNnice]

"But isn't it being far less than subtle if you are dancing with a guy and he suddenly throws out a line like, ' man , girl, you got two left feet , like me, I think we would do coffee together well too." --- I'd still probably think the guy was joking but now I know what they probably mean, thanks for the insight

Boys say girls are weird and girls say boys are weird, maybe were all just weird

--- Thank God!

We are created weird in good ways and prayerful understanding of that weird is EXACTLY how God intended it.

God bless our weirdness !

---but for the record, ladies, you are weirder. We, on the other hand, are just more weird.

allfunfor? What about the 'maybe.'

A note? For situation , I outlined that seems weird, allfunfor, especially IF you prefer the direct approach and a note is as indirect as a guy can get with an 'ask.' Just my opine. And, that's fine, I long ago concluded girls were weird different from me (weird can mean good too, let's be sure to clarify).

I truly wonder how many girls want a note from a guy you've barely met??????

---anyway, moving on , trudging rather through the abyss of askedness, LOL, yeah, Nik, no worries, always glad to delight the ladies with 'insight.'

Gypsytraveled ---and sounds like you should read my horoscope thread,-- well, yes, if you're 'shy' as you say you are, then being direct would be a hard way for a guy to go ask you out.

Julieannie, I saw the 'woo' thread and thought I saw a lot of attacking of the opposite sex (guys attacking girls responses to their polite advances) was going on and I thought this kind of thread would help understand that one.

Thanks for all your insights, ladies.. Guys everywhere sure I speak for, even though, oddly enough not n this thread now, but good ole Darth Zero, LOL .

 

[Jullianna]

The more I read this thread, the more I realize a note with "do you like me, yes or no" would be perfect for me.

Guys should have these printed on business cards with check boxes
Now THAT's creative!

 

[GreenNnice]

Stratos, you are on here too, commenting but....honeydid just OWNED you with her comment off your '90% of women don't know what they want' comment. It's ok, don't feel special dude, ALL guys get owned by women at some point in their life. The Lord leads.


Lord, quit that leading!

 

[nickip18]

Guys should have these printed on business cards with check boxes
Now THAT's creative!

hahahaha, i actually had this done to me i put yes even though i didnt like the boy in that way, just to see his reaction and he practically ran away LOL btw he now knows i was joking

 

[GreenNnice]

Guys should have these printed on business cards with check boxes
Now THAT's creative!

-----
Well, there ya go, guys, and what do you know, VistaPrint gives you 250 of those babies for FREE , just Google 'Vista print' on the internet right now and have your blueprint (check boxes design) ready, might be a little extra for your own design , but, man, isn't your future 'she' worth it

 

[allforfun]

In my social circle, it is common to pass out Moo cards after a social party. That might include people who you may directly or indirectly know by association. On there is your email and maybe your mobile number if are comfortable with that (which I am). I have handed those out and a guy that would hand me one? I would email or call.

I have gone out with a men that I met briefly. Call me dumb or daring. I always met them at a public place, but I figured why not? And I still liked the direct approach.

 

[See_KING_Truth]

My next thread with a poll "Do you like me?"

Poll choices: Yes
No

 

[violakat]

My next thread with a poll "Do you like me?"

Poll choices: Yes
No

Just as long as you put down also, Maybe--> see explanation in post.