What Kind of Daughter Can God Trust With One of His Sons?
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As far as what is the MOST important thing, I can't say, because every man is different and has different needs.
When it comes to looks, OF COURSE it's important. I don't mean a woman needs to be drop dead gorgeous or anything, but the first thing a man notices will be her appearance, and whether or not he likes that appearance enough to look at her every day for the rest of her life. *Tip for men* Telling a woman he wants to date, that "looks don't matter" to him, isn't comforting. It's insulting, and basically telling her that she's ugly but he likes her personality.....Please just no.
Wealthy only seems to matter to two types of people, one who is already wealthy and wanting to marry a similar status, or one who is looking to become wealthy and wants the short cut. EIther way, neither type deserves a woman of good character, because he will hurt her.
I have no idea what "Bad bae status" means, so I dunno about that one.
Popular is exhausting (I dated a popular dude once back in college. It lasted a couple weeks, and I needed a vacation afterwards. ) Again, that is usually only important to people who are popular and want to be a complementing couple, or someone wanting to climb that popularity ladder.
So we are left with Good Character. That HAS to be important, but more important would be is her character and his character compatible. She can have amazing character, a great sense of humor, and be an amazing woman, but he's a doofus....they aren't going to connect....usually. Never say never, but you get my drift.
To me Love is a choice we make, so choose wisely.
When it comes to looks, OF COURSE it's important. I don't mean a woman needs to be drop dead gorgeous or anything, but the first thing a man notices will be her appearance, and whether or not he likes that appearance enough to look at her every day for the rest of her life. *Tip for men* Telling a woman he wants to date, that "looks don't matter" to him, isn't comforting. It's insulting, and basically telling her that she's ugly but he likes her personality.....Please just no.
Wealthy only seems to matter to two types of people, one who is already wealthy and wanting to marry a similar status, or one who is looking to become wealthy and wants the short cut. EIther way, neither type deserves a woman of good character, because he will hurt her.
I have no idea what "Bad bae status" means, so I dunno about that one.
Popular is exhausting (I dated a popular dude once back in college. It lasted a couple weeks, and I needed a vacation afterwards. ) Again, that is usually only important to people who are popular and want to be a complementing couple, or someone wanting to climb that popularity ladder.
So we are left with Good Character. That HAS to be important, but more important would be is her character and his character compatible. She can have amazing character, a great sense of humor, and be an amazing woman, but he's a doofus....they aren't going to connect....usually. Never say never, but you get my drift.
To me Love is a choice we make, so choose wisely.
Not that it really matters anymore in my own life, but "attractive", as in outwardly attractive, was never a big issue with me. In fact, I was always attracted more to the average looking woman. That said, there are certain inner attributes which I've always found extremely attractive in a woman, but, alas, when I think that I've found the same, then the woman is either already taken or just a good actress.
(The bear turns, sits down on the ground, and opens a jar of honey to solace himself)
(The bear turns, sits down on the ground, and opens a jar of honey to solace himself)
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
I think suffering leads you to Christ. Thats how most of us met Him right? Because people are tormented in their suffering, its hard to see the rewards part sometimes.
I would say that suffering definitely played a part in me coming to Christ. I'd also say that I've suffered plenty since coming to Christ, but now I have a supernatural grace at my disposal to help me endure or overcome it.
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
Well there really isn't enough choices. I would of preferred my son marrying a devoted Christian lady. But instead married a JW with issues with that cult also. Now they both are atheist. I encouraged my son to wait and date, but cannot make your children's choices for them once they are grown.Prayers didn't stop them either. So in the end God has it all in his hands.
lol.
You noticed that I sometimes live my life vicariously through my bear photo, did you?
I've always loved animals, and even more so after I became a Christian.
Lions used to be my favorite animal, but, somewhere along the way, grizzly bears became my favorite.
As I mentioned on the "username" thread, this particular photo is my favorite photo in the world in that it always reminds me of the following portion of scripture:
"Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10)
In other words, I see the bear taking pause or standing still as he beholds the glory and the majesty of God.
I do have a pretty good sense of humor, but there's oftentimes some real pain behind my jokes.
As weird as this may sound, and I just mentioned this to another forum member here via PM yesterday, my biggest struggle, which I never expected, is with love.
In other words, contrary to the image that I may sometimes project here, I'm truly a very loving and caring man with an enormously huge heart.
In line with the OP, it's just hard when you have that much love to give and no one to share it with.
That truly is my biggest struggle.
I'd rather face an arena full of Goliaths than to have to deal with that, but such is life.
I need to get up for work in 6 hours, so it's time for this bear to find a soft spot on the ground to lie.
Good night.
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
From an outsiders pov your struggle doesnt look like its love. You have given love and have received it. You havent stopped loving because your marriage ended right? So its working as it should.
Yes I always do a double take when I see your avatar pic. Not the usual bear pic youd normally see
Sleep well.
The reason I'm so passionate about this is because I once very much believed if I just tried as hard as I could to be good, to follow all the Christian principles I was raised with, I too would find the one God had for me and have that blissful, prayer and worship filled unicorn fantasy Christian marriage.
It didn't quite work out that way.
Now I'm certainly not blaming God, as I made plenty of my own bad and just plain stubborn choices.
But once God got me through, I asked Him to help me live and believe more realistically, and to try to help anyone who might agree do the same.
People bring up the story of Job all the time.
But what I never hear about, and what hit me most about his story was when he told his wife, "Shall we accept good from God, but not bad?"
I try to ask God to help me to better and more faithfully do both, whether the bad is just life, my own fault (I ask for help in making better decisions,) or God allowing something don't like or understand.
I still kick and scream all the way, but I'm trying to work on that.
God is most likely going to tell her to go by what Paul said in 1 Cor 7. You will be much happier if you follow Paul's example.
I am sure that is what He would say.
I am sure that is what He would say.
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
Really enjoying the way you are processing things Seoulsearch, it has helped me with my understanding of a Christian marriage as well.
Well, it is, nonetheless.
All of my bad and/or painful experiences with women aside, there were some good experiences too, and I still believe that women are the crowning achievement of God's creation.
Aside from my salvation experience and the times spent with my children, my happiest recollection in life was when I was walking hand in hand with a young woman that I loved in a park on an Autumn night back when I was around 21 or 22 years old. I wasn't even a Christian yet, but everything in the world just seemed right at that moment in time.
Anyhow, when I meditate upon the reality that the whole male/female dating or marriage thing won't be available on the other side of eternity, it's just difficult to say an eternal good-bye to something as potentially beautiful as that.
As I've sincerely said before, although true love has eluded me throughout most of my life, I'm still thrilled whenever I see anybody else find it for themselves.
For the women here who may have been mistreated by men throughout their lives, as a man myself, I apologize for what they've done to you. There are still some good men out there. If you're ever privileged to find one, then just love him. My guess is that that is all he will ever truly desire from you. Believe it or not, some men actually have hearts.
I've bored you all enough already with my personal musings.
Have a blessed day in the Lord.
T
TheNarrowPath
Guest
No.
It's actually my focus upon God that has brought me to this place.
Marriage was ordained by God to be a natural reflection of the spiritual union between Christ and the church.
The love between a man and his wife and Christ and the church are Divinely intertwined...or, at least, they should be.
Anyhow, I've truly said enough.
Have a blessed day.
G