I agree with brighthouse98. This is one of the scriptures that comes to mind when I think of Jesus. He is love, so why not start there.
You can see examples of these qualities as you read all the accounts that we’ve been given with Jesus.
Will we ever perfectly resemble Him? No, of course not, but we can try our best.
What examples? And what do those examples practically look like in a man?
Let me begin by saying that, with God as my Witness (that means something when I say it because I truly do fear God), nothing that I'm about to say or ask is being said or asked in any sort of antagonistic way. I simply have some genuine concerns, in relation to both men and women alike, which I'm looking to hopefully address for everyone's consideration.
Seeing how Jesus truly is our example in all things, and seeing how we're presently discussing the topic of marriage or what qualities a man should possess within the confines of the same, can we please consider the following?
Ephesians chapter 5
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22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
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23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
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24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
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25]
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
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26]
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
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27]
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
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28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
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29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
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30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
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31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
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32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
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33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
One of the ways in which a husband is to love his wife, even as Christ also loved the church, is in direct relation to "the washing of water by the word" or in relation to sanctification unto holiness.
Please allow me to give you all an example from my own failed marriage in order to hopefully help illustrate what I'm trying to say.
When I was married, I was the furthest thing imaginable from some sort of "dictatorial warlord". In other words, I NEVER went around trying to browbeat my wife or children into some sort of submissive obedience. Instead, we regularly had family Bible studies together, and I fully trusted God's word and his Spirit, accompanied by and followed up with prayer, to lead all of us and to deal with any matters in our hearts, MINE INCLUDED, that might have needed to be dealt with. Ironically, I was ultimately hauled into a court of law, after having had a temporary restraining order placed against me, as I had been falsely charged with "multiple accounts of domestic violence and child abuse". Nothing could be further from the truth, and I was ultimately found to be totally innocent of the charges that had been falsely leveled against me in a court of law.
Anyhow, to the best of my recollective knowledge, there were only two times when I actually directly confronted my ex about her wickedness, and, on both occasions, we were lying next to each other in bed at night.
On both occasions, I softly and gently asked her the following question:
"You know that you're doing evil, right?"
Now, to the uninformed reader, that might sound antagonistic, but it totally wasn't. My ex was doing things that I literally could have had her arrested for, and she wouldn't have been found innocent of the charges if I had chosen to do so. Anyhow, on both occasions when I asked her that question, she looked down in shame, and answered "Yes, I know that I'm doing evil. GOD has shown me that many times, and I know that I need to change."
Please notice that she said that GOD had shown her that many times, and he had. In other words, as I've testified here before, there were many different occasions when my ex came to me and told me what GOD had shown her in a dream, or in a vision, or what he had directly spoken to her, and I knew that it truly was GOD who was showing her and telling her these things. Again, one way in which Christ shows his love for the church is via "the washing of water by the word" or by correcting us for our own good that we might be sanctified unto true holiness before him.
Now, here is my question:
Women, what would/do you think of a man who would seek to wash YOU with the water of the word as your husband if the situation warranted it?
Let me qualify my question by emphatically stating that I know that there are A LOT of horrible men out there, and that includes many men who profess to be Christians. In other words, there are many men who will totally ABUSE portions of scripture like this one now being considered while turning it into some sort of justifiable excuse to DOMINATE OR ABUSE A WOMAN/THEIR WIFE. I've personally met more than my fair share of these types of men, some of them right here on this website, and I've regularly stood them to the face or rebuked them for their MISUSE of such passages of scripture as this one.
That said and meant, a true Christian man is going to truly care for his wife's soul, and there are inevitably going to be times when he's going to have to say something in a sort of corrective or sanctifying manner in order to potentially help you BECAUSE HE TRULY LOVES YOU AS CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH.
Would this offend/anger you?
I've seen plenty of women who are appalled at even such a suggestion as their husband seeking to help them in their sanctification process, and, again, that includes some women right here on this website.
Far from being any sort of "dominator" myself while I was married, my ex was the one who repeatedly tried to dominate and manipulate me. She was an antagonist/brawler extraordinaire, and, during one of her explosive outbursts towards me, she screamed:
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WASH ME WITH WATER!!!"
In her mind, she was referencing what we read in Ephesians chapter 5, but she was totally misrepresenting what was actually said there. In other words, she was (mis-) quoting that as if to say that I should be drawing a bubble bath for her (and I oftentimes did, btw), and not as if I should actually care about her soul and her sanctification process.
Anyhow, when she shouted that at me, God immediately spoke to me, and he told me to ask her the following question:
"Why does something need to be washed?"
She didn't answer.
He told me to then ask her the following question:
"Why does somebody wash their clothes?"
Again, she didn't answer.
He told me to then ask her the following question:
"Why does somebody was a dish?"
Once more, she didn't answer.
Finally, he told me to ask her the following question:
"Why does somebody wash their car?"
Dead silence.
Of course, the correct answer to all of these questions is that something needs to be washed because it is dirty.
Anyhow, my point is that my ex not only hated when Christ himself sought to cleanse her FOR HER OWN GOOD, but she was appalled by the thought of me ever even considering to do the same or of me actually loving her as Christ loves the church.
Being the type of husband that God actually ordains a man to be isn't easy...and part of the reason for that is directly related to how a wife responds to a truly godly man. Again, I'm NOT talking about the aforementioned ABUSIVE JERKS, but I am talking about a Christian man who truly loves and cares for his wife.
Anyhow, if you're a man who is the type of abusive and dominating jerk that I mentioned earlier, then you need to repent.
At the same time, if you're the type of woman who is appalled at even the thought of a godly husband seeking to wash his wife by the water of God's word, or appalled by a husband who would truly seek to love his wife as Christ loves the church, then you need to likewise repent.
For whatever that's worth.
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