What Kind of Husband Do You Want?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,300
4,349
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
This perhaps is the moral of many of these stories. Stop looking for younger women in other countries to marry. Blame the woman ,but sorry have heard this over and over. Lust is the biggest factor of many of these men's issues. Plus I have seen some of these men treat them horrible as if they are their property. The women in the US may have their issues but will not tolerate being mistreated. I find no humor either way. I am disturbed if people think they all turn on the men because the poor guy was just being a husband and they wanted their own way. We are to be treated as equal in God's eyes. But some men take it that we are to be property and have no say. SMH

😄
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,300
4,349
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
This perhaps is the moral of many of these stories. Stop looking for younger women in other countries to marry. Blame the woman ,but sorry have heard this over and over. Lust is the biggest factor of many of these men's issues. Plus I have seen some of these men treat them horrible as if they are their property. The women in the US may have their issues but will not tolerate being mistreated. I find no humor either way. I am disturbed if people think they all turn on the men because the poor guy was just being a husband and they wanted their own way. We are to be treated as equal in God's eyes. But some men take it that we are to be property and have no say. SMH
Yup, lust and promiscuity is a problem with women as with men. It causes damage to their future marriages and many parents care less or they would raise their children differently in my area.

As to the Asian lady, I don't recall her saying anything about being mistreated..
Is that the reason so many feminist men and women turn to the wretched western norms that have led to so many broken families?
Guess what, I was mistreated by women.
I was harmed. Physical abuse and other assorted evils isn't a guy thing. It's a sin thing that happens more than many realize.
I never turned into a Gloria Steinem type feminist as a result. Nor did I take up the abusive cultural norms of several middle eastern countries. Most Bible believers I knew didn't either. As to helping women deal appropriately with violence, perhaps I know a little about that.
American and foreign women and men fail to think and act as God desires them too.
They need to believe the gospel and have their minds renewed by the Scriptures constantly, or they won't become marriage material regardless of the country of birth.
Thank you for your opinion.
Feel free to disagree but that's my sincere opinion.
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
I try to resist the ignore feature here, as that's just too easy. I think it's a failing of internet "relationships", this ability to just silence someone when they cease to please. Could never do that in real life -- instead, you're forced to cope with them or make a big move to avoid the people in question.

In church, e.g., you meet disagreeable people. The Bible says that we are to love them anyway. I don't know how to do that, but I do know that cutting them out of my life totally is not (necessarily) the answer.

However, there does come a point when it becomes necessary, IMO. I have blocked a few here. A few more are dangerously close, but I'm going to see if there is any shot at a detente or at least our letting each other alone.
I don't hestitate to cut certain things out of my life. If someone a.) is arguing rather than discussing, b.) is being disagreeable rather than simply disagreeing, c.) is being passive-aggressive, or d.) is trying to manipulate me and wend those invisible tendrils of their soul down into mine-- usually with very subtle words-- then they're dead to me. Forever. Unless God tells me otherwise. It's how I view people and things that unnecessarily (not unwittingly) get in my way. Move, you loser. Lol. Just being honest.

There are people I would-- if given the position of judge and the authority to do it-- put in solitary confinement in a single-occupant prison cell on a small island with enough food for three years and zero human contact. Then we'll leave the outcome to fate. But these are your antisocial 'disorders' (ie. having extreme feelings of hostility towards all humans).

I encourage people who want to block me to do it (the sooner the better). I'm not concerned about them, so they shouldn't be concerned about me.
 
Last edited:
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
Umm... I cannot follow every post. Would you be good enough to define the term "bad boy"? I don't mean every conceivable definition, just how you're applying it to yourself.
I don't want to apply anything to myself. I let people discern things for themselves just like I trust my own discernment. Who am I qualifying myself for? Do you see some value here that I don't, value that I'd need to qualify myself to? If ever I felt the need to qualify myself to a human being, I would hate myself (like people do who are pressured or love to qualify themselves to others), and I could not be happy.

But 'bad boy' as I used it is a male who is not governed by the restrictive thoughts and opinions of others or society. Be nice, be romantic, be this, be that. How about no? Lol. Males who succumb to 'nice' are always losing. Even when they win, they're losing because they're not in touch with their masculine nature.

By the way, David's Mighty Men were 'bad boys' not nice guys. If they were nice, forget it. They wouldn't even like David, and David wouldn't like them, so there would be no 'David's Mighty Men'. Jesus also chose 'bad boys' (at least several of them) as His apostles including Levi, a Jewish traitor the Jews (in coming days, the religious world will be surprised at the people Jesus chooses to do the work everyone else is scared poopless of doing). If Jesus chose nice guys as apostles, they would've jumped ship as soon as they realized that the religious leaders didn't like Him. Right? When Jesus first selected Peter, Peter's response shows a lot of what God is seeking for Kingdom service or, better said, labor:

"When Simon Peter saw [the miracle Jesus did], he fell at the feet of Jesus and said, '
Leave me, oh Lord, for I am a sinful man'" (Luke 5:8).
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
Your post reminds me of a conversation.
I heard an Asian lady brag to a group how her husband was a great man, he brought her to America and they had a content and happy marriage. She filled the role of what used to be the traditional wife, not only in her country, but unknown to her, her new land as far as christian women who want to model their lives after the Bible roles.
Then she had American friends who taught her how to be an "American" woman. Now she is proud and liberated!"
She continued to brag over and again how sassy she is and puts her husband in his place, etc. From her long diatribe she no longer had a happy marriage, BUT she felt very good (proud) about no longer being a meek asian woman, but a bold and loud American who speaks her mind, that happens to have adopted the secular cultural norms.

BTW, this chapter about queen jezebel makes me laugh every time I read it.!

https://thekingjamesversionbible.com/2-kings-9-30-37
😄
It happens every day. Crazy women talk to somewhat sane women and stimulate the latent crazy in them. Then they ride on horses, decrying men until they're in their late 30s to 40s, alone with cats and still blaming men. If all such women keeled over and there were no women left on the planet, I would miss nothing at all. I can't do crazy (ie. irrational x 2+). Interacting or relating with someone who is willing to poke holes in your boat and drown both of you is a total deal-breaker.
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
This perhaps is the moral of many of these stories. Stop looking for younger women in other countries to marry. Blame the woman ,but sorry have heard this over and over. Lust is the biggest factor of many of these men's issues. Plus I have seen some of these men treat them horrible as if they are their property. The women in the US may have their issues but will not tolerate being mistreated. I find no humor either way. I am disturbed if people think they all turn on the men because the poor guy was just being a husband and they wanted their own way. We are to be treated as equal in God's eyes. But some men take it that we are to be property and have no say. SMH
You got 'it's men's fault' from a story that showed a woman to be at fault? How do you hope to ever find a man and have anything close to a happy marriage if you have the attitude that all men are latently evil and all women are latently good?
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
I tried not to single anyone out but there were a few of them that seem to have a gripe with you and your threads, and an even bigger gripe that you have put them on ignore. So I had to name a couple. Its childish and I wish people didnt need to be attention seeking like that. They dont even realise they are proving there is a wall of hostility :) But anyway....

I agree with you on the discernment. Roughsoul1991 also posted a thread about comfort versus growth which I find is needed even on this site. And Im never gonna say Im perfect, far from it but I know I need correction and I know I need humility (among other things) A work in progress as they say but if it brings me closer to God then I can do it.
Yes, seoulsearch and magenta were two of about four of them. God, this world has ugly and evil and weird and disturbing and discouraging in it.
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
Yup, lust and promiscuity is a problem with women as with men. It causes damage to their future marriages and many parents care less or they would raise their children differently in my area.

As to the Asian lady, I don't recall her saying anything about being mistreated..
Is that the reason so many feminist men and women turn to the wretched western norms that have led to so many broken families?
Guess what, I was mistreated by women.
I was harmed. Physical abuse and other assorted evils isn't a guy thing. It's a sin thing that happens more than many realize.
I never turned into a Gloria Steinem type feminist as a result. Nor did I take up the abusive cultural norms of several middle eastern countries. Most Bible believers I knew didn't either. As to helping women deal appropriately with violence, perhaps I know a little about that.
American and foreign women and men fail to think and act as God desires them too.
They need to believe the gospel and have their minds renewed by the Scriptures constantly, or they won't become marriage material regardless of the country of birth.
Thank you for your opinion.
Feel free to disagree but that's my sincere opinion.
Your opinion is fact. Women have been hostile towards me just for refusing to acknowledge them (ie. when they were seeking sexaul attention) and for curving them (rejecting them) when they approached or talked to me or wanted my number. I see the evil in people every day. I don't need to wait for them to do it; it comes off them. Some peope (usually the ones perceived to not be evil) reek of decaying flesh (ie. carnality) and evil. The notion that women are innately good (and that men are innately bad)-- which is the mindset you, HealthAndHappiness, are currently trying to 'reason with'-- came from a place eviler than lucifer himself is. There is no truth in it.
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
397
63
USA
Now that I'm done laughing... I'm a believer in total depravity myself...

Helps to refuse to feed that side.
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
Now that I'm done laughing... I'm a believer in total depravity myself...

Helps to refuse to feed that side.
You're "a believer in total depravity"? Do you mean you believe that all people have a carnal nature that's totally depraved, sinful, and evil? If that's what you meant, then you're not in denial because, like corrupted cologne or perfume, it comes off of everyone every day.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,418
9,407
113
You're "a believer in total depravity"? Do you mean you believe that all people have a carnal nature that's totally depraved, sinful, and evil? If that's what you meant, then you're not in denial because, like corrupted cologne or perfume, it comes off of everyone every day.
You ARE Diogenes! How did you get reincarnated?
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,300
4,349
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
It happens every day. Crazy women talk to somewhat sane women and stimulate the latent crazy in them. Then they ride on horses, decrying men until they're in their late 30s to 40s, alone with cats and still blaming men. If all such women keeled over and there were no women left on the planet, I would miss nothing at all. I can't do crazy (ie. irrational x 2+). Interacting or relating with someone who is willing to poke holes in your boat and drown both of you is a total deal-breaker.
Same here.
A couple of episodes they were trying to poke holes in my chest with a kitchen knife.
I've never been so grateful for knife disarming technique Psalm #144:1.
You think you know someone until that happens out of the blue. I'm glad that all redheads aren't violent banshees.
 
Apr 15, 2022
337
101
28
USA
Same here.
A couple of episodes they were trying to poke holes in my chest with a kitchen knife.
I've never been so grateful for knife disarming technique Psalm #144:1.
You think you know someone until that happens out of the blue. I'm glad that all redheads aren't violent banshees.
So what happened?
 
G

Gojira

Guest
I don't hestitate to cut certain things out of my life. If someone a.) is arguing rather than discussing, b.) is being disagreeable rather than simply disagreeing, c.) is being passive-aggressive, or d.) is trying to manipulate me and wend those invisible tendrils of their soul down into mine-- usually with very subtle words-- then they're dead to me. Forever. Unless God tells me otherwise. It's how I view people and things that unnecessarily (not unwittingly) get in my way. Move, you loser. Lol. Just being honest.

There are people I would-- if given the position of judge and the authority to do it-- put in solitary confinement in a single-occupant prison cell on a small island with enough food for three years and zero human contact. Then we'll leave the outcome to fate. But these are your antisocial 'disorders' (ie. having extreme feelings of hostility towards all humans).

I encourage people who want to block me to do it (the sooner the better). I'm not concerned about them, so they shouldn't be concerned about me.
Hmmm.... okay. I'll leave this between you and God.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
I don't want to apply anything to myself. I let people discern things for themselves just like I trust my own discernment. Who am I qualifying myself for? Do you see some value here that I don't, value that I'd need to qualify myself to? If ever I felt the need to qualify myself to a human being, I would hate myself (like people do who are pressured or love to qualify themselves to others), and I could not be happy.

But 'bad boy' as I used it is a male who is not governed by the restrictive thoughts and opinions of others or society. Be nice, be romantic, be this, be that. How about no? Lol. Males who succumb to 'nice' are always losing. Even when they win, they're losing because they're not in touch with their masculine nature.

By the way, David's Mighty Men were 'bad boys' not nice guys. If they were nice, forget it. They wouldn't even like David, and David wouldn't like them, so there would be no 'David's Mighty Men'. Jesus also chose 'bad boys' (at least several of them) as His apostles including Levi, a Jewish traitor the Jews (in coming days, the religious world will be surprised at the people Jesus chooses to do the work everyone else is scared poopless of doing). If Jesus chose nice guys as apostles, they would've jumped ship as soon as they realized that the religious leaders didn't like Him. Right? When Jesus first selected Peter, Peter's response shows a lot of what God is seeking for Kingdom service or, better said, labor:

"When Simon Peter saw [the miracle Jesus did], he fell at the feet of Jesus and said, 'Leave me, oh Lord, for I am a sinful man'" (Luke 5:8).
I just asked a simple question LOL

There are two ways that you can define 'bad boy'. One, the gang-banger type, the one who is dangerous in a bad way. Then, there's the one who's dangerous in a good way. This is all I was asking for. Letting me come to my own conclusion might have resulted in an incorrect interpretation, and therefore produced misunderstandings. Clarification is reasonable and necessary.
 
J

Jackieboy100

Guest
Responded in the other thread. I never got the CC notice in my e-mail that someone had responded. But, thanks for explaining :)

You never asked me about my screen ID :D
Hey there,
I've been away briefly and did not get the chance to respond before now. So, what is your username about or what does it represent?
 
J

Jackieboy100

Guest
What song? I don't see a song or link.
You had apparently blocked or ignored the poster, so it did not appear when I commented.
Also, I read your response. Why is your name Jackieboy?
Did you mean my username? 'Cause that's not my name. I chose to use a pet name from my childhood days.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
Hey there,
I've been away briefly and did not get the chance to respond before now. So, what is your username about or what does it represent?
Oh, that's easy: I'm a 70,000,000yo, 400' reptile that subsists on seafood and nuclear radiation. But, I like to associate with... the little people :D