What to tell fiance about previous immorality?

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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#61
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#61
rainacorn said:
Do you guys really think that someone needs to make a long list of every bad thing they ever did before they met someone if they want to marry them? To me, that seems ridiculous, especially if you've asked God for forgiveness and repented. It's not relevant.
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I agree. I think that if two people love each other enough to want to marry, then the past shouldn't stand in their way. Lets not forget that Rahab (mother of Boaz) was a prostitute yet she is in the lineage of our LORD Jesus. I would have no problem loving and marrying a former prostitute. They are people too.
 
Megatron

Megatron

Banned
#62
May 6, 2011
640
2
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#62
zeroturbulence said:
I agree. I think that if two people love each other enough to want to marry, then the past shouldn't stand in their way. Lets not forget that Rahab (mother of Boaz) was a prostitute yet she is in the lineage of our LORD Jesus. I would have no problem loving and marrying a former prostitute. They are people too.
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I could love a former prostitute...but not marry them.I mean maybe, but no...so many other people...
 
P

princessbella

Guest
#63
#63
I volunteer reachig out to prostitutes who do it to support theirs and sometimes their boyfriends drug habits, and some of our volunteers are former prostitutes, they are trophies of Gods grace, their past is their past, if you cant see past her past enough to marry her then you cant have really loved her in the first place



Megatron said:
I could love a former prostitute...but not marry them.I mean maybe, but no...so many other people...
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#64
#64
I imagine we've all allowed ourselves to be beaten up by something in the past at one point or another. And I don't mean just by people (including ourselves), I mean in the spiritual realm. It's a favorite weapon used against us. While I don't believe in airing all of our dirty laundry (nobody really wants to be dragged down with all of our junk), here's the thing...if you're ever worried about what will happen if someone finds out this or that and it's eating you up inside, bringing it out diffuses a thing. God and the people who truly know and love you will still know and love you. If the others don't, did they ever or was it conditional?
 
Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#65
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
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#65
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Thats so ridiculous.

Your past has everything to do with your present, especially in a marriage. Your past effects your present relationships.

Communication is everything in a marriage, i believe thats the key to its survival.

Going into one not having told your partner something as big as this is not a good idea.

God has forgiven you yes i agree, but past decisions and choices effects present relationships you would be retarded not to believe that.[/QUOTI


I respect what your saying but do not agree...........when I meat a woman I could care less about her past the only think I am concerned with and the present and the future.........

I do realize things like if she has kids or has had some health issues but what she has done in the past or who she has or has not slept with in the past I dont really care about and dont think it has ANYTHING to do with the present relationship.........to think that the success of a marriage is based on making sure everybody airs their dirty laundry is crazy in my book..............thats not good communication but confession.............big difference
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Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
#66
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
#66
Jullianna said:
I imagine we've all allowed ourselves to be beaten up by something in the past at one point or another. And I don't mean just by people (including ourselves), I mean in the spiritual realm. It's a favorite weapon used against us. While I don't believe in airing all of our dirty laundry (nobody really wants to be dragged down with all of our junk), here's the thing...if you're ever worried about what will happen if someone finds out this or that and it's eating you up inside, bringing it out diffuses a thing. God and the people who truly know and love you will still know and love you. If the others don't, did they ever or was it conditional?
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I can agree with this Jules........and if you tell him or her and they judge you or use it against you send the butt packing.........I can not stand self righteous people
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#67
#67
A whole lotta people love, but it's conditional love...and that doesn't count for squat in my world. I think this is the reason so many relationships fail. People don't know how to love unconditionally. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and the people who love me know what they are. And I know their dirty laundry too. But I also know that it's under the Blood now. :) Like I said before...if God takes it as far as the East is from the West, who are we to drag it back?
 
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Matthew

Guest
#68
#68
Hommer said:
...........when I meat a woman I could care less about her past the only think I am concerned with and the present and the future.........
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I struggle to understand this, for the most part I can see that it's best and healthy to focus on today and tommorow because that's all we have control over, but knowing that life is linked and the past affects the future no matter how much we might not want it too don't you think that maybe knowing about the past can help you avoid problems in the here and now?

I don't mean that every little sordid detail of our every mistake needs to be expressed but just a general disclosure or what mistakes have been made so that you know what you are dealing with going forward, like what things might be delicate issues etc, how can anyone be sensitive to the feelings of their partner if they have no idea what hurts they have had in the past?

I'm curious to know your thoughts :)

Further to that I really don't understand the general point that has been raised by some others that they don't need forgiveness from their spouses. Talking about the past couldn't be any less about forgiveness, it's about reconcilliation, and knowing that the person who means the most has been able too so that you know that their love for you is absolute, if a thing isn't discussed that can never be the case, like Julianna says it seems like conditional love, not discussing the past is essentially hiding from pain, and yes you can bury it, but that doesn't take away it's power.
 
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