Will you compromise your non-negotiable?

[Akinonli]

You’re a single and actively praying for your future partner even before you met him/her. I know some ladies who even wrote their non negotiable but I haven’t known a man who have wrote one…
Generally when you are single there pressures that we can’t control other of what their says but we can control our response
Anyway what are your non negotiable as followers of Christ…at some point will you compromise and lower your standard in relationship?

 

[Gojira]

You’re a single and actively praying for your future partner even before you met him/her. I know some ladies who even wrote their non negotiable but I haven’t known a man who have wrote one…
Generally when you are single there pressures that we can’t control other of what their says but we can control our response
Anyway what are your non negotiable as followers of Christ…at some point will you compromise and lower your standard in relationship?

I have 4.

1. She must be saved.

2. She must be single and available.

3. We must share a mutual attraction / interest.

4. She must be sane.

After my honey passed away in 2009, I've yet to meet any woman with all four of these.

 

[MsMediator]

Here are mine:

1. He must be Christian

2. No anger/temper issues

3. Generous/not stingy

4. Treats all people respectfully and has respectful views of women

5. Helps with chores and errands (assuming we are both working)

6. Open to owning either dogs or cats (or both)

7. Isn't an active outdoorsy type person (hiking, camping, etc.)

8. Has hobbies/interests/goals

 

[Lynx]

Here are mine:

1. He must be Christian

2. No anger/temper issues

3. Generous/not stingy

4. Treats all people respectfully and has respectful views of women

5. Helps with chores and errands (assuming we are both working)

6. Open to owning either dogs or cats (or both)

7. Isn't an active outdoorsy type person (hiking, camping, etc.)

8. Has hobbies/interests/goals

I fit all of these except number two. And that is only if you mess with my laundry. I know how I want it done and I don't trust anyone with it.

 

[Robertt]

All things are negotiable. but sometimes Negotiation doesnt work

 

[Lynx]

Anyway what are your non negotiable as followers of Christ

Don't mess with my laundry.

Don't tell me to stay out of the kitchen. She can cook too, but don't try to make it her turf.

That's all I know of.

at some point will you compromise and lower your standard in relationship?

Ain't desperate enough to compromise. Don't think I'll ever want it that bad.

 

[Gojira]

I fit all of these except number two. And that is only if you mess with my laundry. I know how I want it done and I don't trust anyone with it.

I can see the rage now over an unfolded sock.

Hey... I can be a bit OCD myself. You should see how my plates and glasses are shelved.

 

[Lynx]

I can see the rage now over an unfolded sock.

Hey... I can be a bit OCD myself. You should see how my plates and glasses are shelved.

I don't fold my socks. Who's going to see them even if they are wrinkled?

But I know if a woman gets near my laundry it will wind up with fabric softener in it. That junk doesn't make my clothes feel soft. It just makes them feel slimy. But women can't help themselves. They seem to have an overriding impulse to use that stuff, no matter how many times I say I don't like it in my laundry.

 

[Gojira]

It just makes them feel slimy.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I fit all of these except number two. And that is only if you mess with my laundry. I know how I want it done and I don't trust anyone with it.

Women who don't like to do laundry know what bleach is for. I once knew a guy who had his favorite red shirt turned pink. From that point on, he washed his own clothes.

 

[cinder]

The moment you compromise on it is the moment when it ceases to be a non-negotiable.

 

[Lanolin]

I thought this was like a bankers business deal thread.

But cheques are no longer accepted at a lot of banks. So just bring them a sack of gold or diamonds?

I have no idea why anyone would want to trade their soul for a diamond ring but women do it all the time.

 

[Lynx]

The moment you compromise on it is the moment when it ceases to be a non-negotiable.

Yeah, that. That's the part I don't get. If it's something I would relent on if I got desperate enough, how can I be listing it as a non-negotiable?

 

[JohnDB]

When looking or seeking a job we have reasons why we look in certain places and categories....

Then we refine the search some more....
And it has a lot of factors that we decide upon. Graveyard shift, our talents, pay rates and etc.

And in the first round of decisions...are we qualified to do that job? Is the first question we ask ourselves. Do we meet their requirements for applying?

Now when spouse shopping there isn't any listing explaining the requirements for application. Because most people don't know what they want. They don't really have a good understanding of who they are much less who they wish to marry.

However....there are dating services that supposedly help people with that.
But they don't have great track records either. Because they intrinsically treat people like commodities and graded qualities in a commodity.

Nobody wants to be an accessory....they want to be a person.

And that's why lists are demonized....they matter immensely but are demonized.

 

[Lynx]

I dunno... Some girls, and some guys too, have made a pretty comfortable living being accessories. =^.^=

 

[Lynx]

However....there are dating services that supposedly help people with that.
But they don't have great track records either. Because they intrinsically treat people like commodities and graded qualities in a commodity.

Nobody wants to be an accessory....they want to be a person.

Actually that hits the crux of the problem: SOOOOO many people I know want to find an accessory, but don't want to be treated as accessories themselves.

This leads to both parties believing the other is so demanding. And both are correct.

 

[JohnDB]

Actually that hits the crux of the problem: SOOOOO many people I know want to find an accessory, but don't want to be treated as accessories themselves.

This leads to both parties believing the other is so demanding. And both are correct.

When I was "looking" for a wife....or "available to have one" is a better description of the situation....

I listed characteristics that were very vague and were more about her ultimate happiness than mine because of who I am...what I'm like and engage in doing on many levels...

Things like "she needs to know how to knit and sew" are tossed out the window in favor of "must love children and be good at handling them." Because I really like kids but in limited doses...I really love my son...Even when he is annoying.

 

[Lanolin]

its just a business..dating sites make money and sell peoples souls. Some call it dating buts lets be honest its more like human trafficking.

 

[DuchessAimee]

I don't fold my socks. Who's going to see them even if they are wrinkled?

But I know if a woman gets near my laundry it will wind up with fabric softener in it. That junk doesn't make my clothes feel soft. It just makes them feel slimy. But women can't help themselves. They seem to have an overriding impulse to use that stuff, no matter how many times I say I don't like it in my laundry.

I don’t use fabric softener. I stopped when I took my washing machine apart and saw how icky it was. There was green gunk every where! When I pictured that stuff on my various fabrics I stopped immediately.

 

[DuchessAimee]

I used to have a list but that went out the window with my last relationship. We looked great on paper but things weren’t great at all. If God wants me to get married he’ll make it clear.