Of Singleness/Celibacy/Marriage Minded/Sexual Frustration

[JaumeJ]

What about when we mess up? Going from a very sinful life of porn and fornication to a hult, then slipping. After I accepted Christ as my lord and savior everything changed. A couple of weeks ago I fell. Now even though I pray, stay in my bible, and try to keep my mind on the lord ...... I can feel the wall between us. My mind wants to go scatter brain on me so I am constantly refocusing my mind. Can anyone help? I'm really ashamed and embarrassed about this. I need to confront this and break this wall between me and the lord.

That wall has a name, Satan. Send him away in the name of Jesus Yeshua. Our Father's mercy is greater than our imperfections and sin, otherwise no one would be saved.
If His children, beginning with Jesus, can forgive you, you have nothing to worry about. I know I cannot hold danything against you nor anyone else when you have confessed to Him and to all. I am sorry you slipped, we all have, except for Jesus Yeshua.

 

[Gojira]

Pornography, masturbation and fornication are a sin, these are the things that I have prayed against when I became a Christian, I stayed months without doing them, also with a prayer/hope that God will gives me a wife/family and I will be really believing that and having faith. But then after around 8 months or so I fornicated or I watch porn and masturbate. Also i can be with a lady and both us being celibate but along the way we break up after many months or a year, from there I meet someone else and we fornicate then break up and then I go back to porn and masturbation.

It's really frustrating that if you're not careful you can even be angry at God and bitter because all you want is a wife, you don't want to do sexual sin and you have done it all (to be pure) but then through burning with passion then you end up succumbing to temptation. I am a 42 year old man with no children, and sometimes I wonder for how long am I going to wait and keep falling back to sexual sin. Sometimes I have thoughts of getting just a lady from the world, get tested and make child with. You know, it's just sooo frustrating, just yesterday I succumbed to porn and masturbation after fornication weeks before that, this is after I have stayed for almost a year celibate. IT'S A BATTLE BRETHRENS.

Please help with advises.

I've been there and understand the feelings of urgency and frustration. I think bro it's a matter of making sure that God is your God, and not the idea of having a wife or a Godly sex life.

That is what I've been contemplating about and praying for, that God removes that idol. But, I also still pray for a beautiful woman to come home to every day.

 

[Lynx]

The rules do seem arbitrary and often the reasons why are not given. We are told to just "do as I say" . While it becomes obvious "don't do as I do"....or be better than they are.
And when the reasons why something is wrong aren't given....we rebel.

This directly contradicts my experience. The Bible is actually pretty good about saying why we should not do some things, and everything in my church standards of holiness has good reasons from the Bible to back it.

If my pastor ever said to do or not do something just because "do as I say" I would get suspicious.

 

[JohnDB]

This directly contradicts my experience. The Bible is actually pretty good about saying why we should not do some things, and everything in my church standards of holiness has good reasons from the Bible to back it.

If my pastor ever said to do or not do something just because "do as I say" I would get suspicious.

The Bible tends to explain on a limited basis why we shouldn't do something....my parents even less so.

In the past I knew what I was supposed to do but didn't do it because many of the rules seemed arbitrary. It never occurred to me that these rules were actually for my benefit and the benefit of others...
That one day I might feel like a first class jerk for not following them...and that I would especially feel guilty about how those other people might feel about my actions...or how it would affect them.

And as you have said....I was extremely suspicious in my youth growing up of all the rules because it was simply "Do as I say"....no one told me about cause and effect of relationships. Just like the two women in the videos above never gave it another thought. They really don't understand predators and prey....how you don't want to be either one.

 

[ResidentAlien]

What about when we mess up? Going from a very sinful life of porn and fornication to a hult, then slipping. After I accepted Christ as my lord and savior everything changed. A couple of weeks ago I fell. Now even though I pray, stay in my bible, and try to keep my mind on the lord ...... I can feel the wall between us. My mind wants to go scatter brain on me so I am constantly refocusing my mind. Can anyone help? I'm really ashamed and embarrassed about this. I need to confront this and break this wall between me and the lord.

If you mess up, confess it to God and ask His help; but ideally you want to stop the behavior. This is why I tell people the best cure is getting out of your comfort zone; give your mind new challenges. Your brain has formed pathways that make it respond a certain way to certain stimuli. These pathways need to be changed and the best way to do that is to put yourself in a new situation that challenges you to get your mind off sex and onto something else. This is tough medicine and most people don't want to hear it, but I can testify it works. After awhile, you'll be able to resume somewhat of a normal life but it takes time; you'll just have be the judge of how long you need.

Romans 13:14 says: "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." And Matthew 5:29-30: "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell."

If your home is providing you with a private space to satisfy your lust, get rid of it if you have to. If your phone cause you to stumble, get rid of that too. Sell off everything and become homeless if you have to. Being homeless will definitely challenge you in ways you never dreamed of. But you have to have a 100% commitment to the Lord or you won't stick with it. You have to have a reason and a hope that something better awaits.

There's a common misconception out there too, that men have to have a release or it's harmful for them physically. Actually this is a lie. The longer a man goes without it, the more his drive starts to shut down making things much easier.

Anyway, that's is my 2 cents; whoever has ears, let him hear.

 

[ebdesroches]

From Oswald Chambers

…….”against any claim I have a right to myself.”

I have been crucified with Christ… GALATIANS 2:20


The inescapable spiritual need each of us has is the need to sign the death certificate of our sin nature. I must take my emotional opinions and intellectual beliefs and be willing to turn them into a moral verdict against the nature of sin; that is, against any claim I have to my right to myself. Paul said, “I have been crucified with Christ….” He did not say, “I have made a determination to imitate Jesus Christ,” or, “I will really make an effort to follow Him” —but— “I have been identified with Him in His death.” Once I reach this moral decision and act on it, all that Christ accomplished forme on the Cross is accomplished in me. My unrestrained commitment of myself to God gives the Holy Spirit the opportunity to grant to me the holiness of Jesus Christ.
“…it is no longer I who live….” My individuality remains, but my primary motivation for living and the nature that rules me are radically changed. I have the same human body, but the old satanic right to myself has been destroyed.
“…and the life which I now live in the flesh,” not the life which I long to live or even pray that I live, but the life I now live in my mortal flesh— the life which others can see, “I live by faith in the Son of God….” This faith was not Paul’s own faith in Jesus Christ, but the faith the Son of God had given to him (see Ephesians 2:8). It is no longer a faith in faith, but a faith that transcends all imaginable limits— a faith that comes only from the Son of God.

 

[ebdesroches]

If you mess up, confess it to God and ask His help; but ideally you want to stop the behavior. This is why I tell people the best cure is getting out of your comfort zone; give your mind new challenges. Your brain has formed pathways that make it respond a certain way to certain stimuli. These pathways need to be changed and the best way to do that is to put yourself in a new situation that challenges you to get your mind off sex and onto something else. This is tough medicine and most people don't want to hear it, but I can testify it works. After awhile, you'll be able to resume somewhat of a normal life but it takes time; you'll just have be the judge of how long you need.

Romans 13:14 says: "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." And Matthew 5:29-30: "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell."

If your home is providing you with a private space to satisfy your lust, get rid of it if you have to. If your phone cause you to stumble, get rid of that too. Sell off everything and become homeless if you have to. Being homeless will definitely challenge you in ways you never dreamed of. But you have to have a 100% commitment to the Lord or you won't stick with it. You have to have a reason and a hope that something better awaits.

There's a common misconception out there too, that men have to have a release or it's harmful for them physically. Actually this is a lie. The longer a man goes without it, the more his drive starts to shut down making things much easier.

Anyway, that's is my 2 cents; whoever has ears, let him hear.

Your two cents is worth a lot!

 

[Talljake]

If you mess up, confess it to God and ask His help; but ideally you want to stop the behavior. This is why I tell people the best cure is getting out of your comfort zone; give your mind new challenges. Your brain has formed pathways that make it respond a certain way to certain stimuli. These pathways need to be changed and the best way to do that is to put yourself in a new situation that challenges you to get your mind off sex and onto something else. This is tough medicine and most people don't want to hear it, but I can testify it works. After awhile, you'll be able to resume somewhat of a normal life but it takes time; you'll just have be the judge of how long you need.

Romans 13:14 says: "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts." And Matthew 5:29-30: "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell."

If your home is providing you with a private space to satisfy your lust, get rid of it if you have to. If your phone cause you to stumble, get rid of that too. Sell off everything and become homeless if you have to. Being homeless will definitely challenge you in ways you never dreamed of. But you have to have a 100% commitment to the Lord or you won't stick with it. You have to have a reason and a hope that something better awaits.

There's a common misconception out there too, that men have to have a release or it's harmful for them physically. Actually this is a lie. The longer a man goes without it, the more his drive starts to shut down making things much easier.

Anyway, that's is my 2 cents; whoever has ears, let him hear.

Amen thank you. I have been in prayer and in my bible a lot more lately..... I have confessed my sin and have asked for forgiveness, but the wall stands. What must I do to break this wall? I feel as though I can't do this.....like I'm to weak. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not....

 

[Talljake]

Thank you all for your words,time, and help. I greatly appreciate it.

 

[Lynx]

The Bible tends to explain on a limited basis why we shouldn't do something....my parents even less so.

In the past I knew what I was supposed to do but didn't do it because many of the rules seemed arbitrary. It never occurred to me that these rules were actually for my benefit and the benefit of others...
That one day I might feel like a first class jerk for not following them...and that I would especially feel guilty about how those other people might feel about my actions...or how it would affect them.

And as you have said....I was extremely suspicious in my youth growing up of all the rules because it was simply "Do as I say"....no one told me about cause and effect of relationships. Just like the two women in the videos above never gave it another thought. They really don't understand predators and prey....how you don't want to be either one.

Huh. Maybe my parents were anomalies too. I don't remember ever going through the infamous "why?" phase, because if I asked why they always gave me a good answer that made sense. If I had tried a "why?" phase it wouldn't have been any fun.

I may have disagreed with them on matters of cookies and riding a bike on the road, but I always knew why.

 

[Lanolin]

You need delieverance, there are powerful deliverance prayers you can pray online that work, look them up.

Jesus promised to deliver us from evil.

Not saying being married is evil, but demons are always trying to enter bodies sexually. Marriage is not just about sex either.

 

[Lanolin]

our flesh is what needs to be put to death and to live by the spirit, apply the blood of Jesus

How do you think Jesus was able to do everything without constantly thinking he had to go and have sex with someone? He was a man too, he wasnt an angel. So you need to go to Him.

 

[FredBotswana]

I've been there and understand the feelings of urgency and frustration. I think bro it's a matter of making sure that God is your God, and not the idea of having a wife or a Godly sex life.

That is what I've been contemplating about and praying for, that God removes that idol. But, I also still pray for a beautiful woman to come home to every day.

WOW, That's a good advise bro.

 

[JaumeJ]

You need delieverance, there are powerful deliverance prayers you can pray online that work, look them up.

Jesus promised to deliver us from evil.

Not saying being married is evil, but demons are always trying to enter bodies sexually. Marriage is not just about sex either.

You hae said it. May I add, sex is not love either............