I really really need a husband!!

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PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#101
Apr 22, 2013
13,586
9,104
113
#101
I agree that most guys are not cut out for child rearing at early ages, but I say most not all.

My wife worked days, and I had a business that operated at night.

We knew from the get go that there was no way we were going to do the daycare thing. Nothing against those that do, or need to. We just were never going to do that.

So I basically raised our two boys during the day. I did have a little help from my mom. Not much though.

I also did all the housework except laundry. Still don’t do laundry.

I absolutely loved every minute of it! And without sounding too boastful, our sons have become wonderful men in every way.

So I think it’s whatever works for each family.

Having said that, I do agree that generally speaking society and families are better off with a working dad, and a stay at home mom. Which is definitely a vital role.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#102
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
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#102
I stay home with our little butterfly. We agreed I would quit my job because he made more than me. Also, that whole nursing thing too lol aaaaand daycare costs a lot! I would be working just to pay for daycare! So now I stay home. But not gonna lie…

We joked that if I made bank! He would stay home and I would work outside the home lol.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#103
Mar 8, 2022
1,101
740
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#103
Most important is that the child lives in a stable/happy home, regardless of who is working.

Working dad and stay at home mom/wife doesn't necessarily mean good environment for child. Not every family is like Young Sheldon show.

If one views stay at home mom as a job/work, the follow up question is, what is the position description and is this job right for me or not according to my abilities and personality. This job may not be right for everyone.

There is also the question of opportunity cost....everyone in the family may be better off if both parents work. Daycare costs a lot but it may be worth it to contribute to social security years (which is based on earnings) and retirement if nothing else. I dont like the idea of boarding school and that could cause bonding issues but I don't see the issue with daycare during daytime hours especially Christian daycare aside from the cost. Of course, it would hard to afford daycare for multiple kids.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#104
Mar 8, 2022
1,101
740
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#104
I think everyone realizes being a mom/parent is a very hard job...it is easy to mess up a child's life or change/interfere/limit the direction and promise of the child's life, and the onus is really on the parents.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#105
Mar 8, 2022
1,101
740
113
#105
MsMediator said:
I think everyone realizes being a mom/parent is a very hard job...it is easy to mess up a child's life or change/interfere/limit the direction and promise of the child's life, and the onus is really on the parents.
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What I mean is, on messing up a child's life, the parent has a lot of say/control on how the child will grow up into being an adult. It is the difference between the child being confident versus proud/entitled, whether parent is fueling or helping to resolve the child's insecurities, among many other issues. And, I am not even touching on the foster care type issues. It is a complicated process and one of my own fears as well especially when you read posts here on how some parents are disappointed in their children.
 
Sculpt

Sculpt

Well-known member
#106
Apr 18, 2021
1,138
362
83
#106
Moses_Young said:
The problem with women "working" is that a man can usually do the job better, and it means that less children are being born into the world, loved or looked after. Of course, this is a generalisation, but the more women "work", the more real families (that's everyone) suffer. I use the word "work" in inverted commas, as women can and do real work as wives and mothers - this is real woman's work that men can never do.
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There are a few contingencies that are at work there...

I think few would disagree it's best for young children to have mom and/or dad at home. But assuming they aren't home schooled, when they are at school for 8 hours, both parents can be away from the house. And so mom and dad can be working, as long as the family can complete everything that needs doing. Don't ya think?

It is tough for a woman's (or man's) career to dropout for however many years that is. I never heard anyone regret the time they spent with their children, but it's a sacrifice.

If there's no young children, or no children at home at all, do you still have an issue with both spouses working?

.
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#107
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#107
PS: as a first time parent, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. Pray for us 🥴
 
T

TheWriter

Guest
#108
#108
melita916 said:
PS: as a first time parent, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. Pray for us 🥴
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All you need to do, is get a gas mask when it is time to change that diaper. Lol
 
Grock89

Grock89

Member
#109
Nov 17, 2017
132
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#109
Noel25 said:
So I am very lonely and need a husband. I want someone to watch Disney movies with and take me to Target with credit card. Someone who makes a lot of money so that I don’t have to work. Also, he should be a virgin and be willing to stay virgin forever because I’m not interested in that.
Where is he? Where could my soulmate be?
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Are you being sincere? You want a man that watches disney movies with you? Disney? For real? No offence
 
Grock89

Grock89

Member
#111
Nov 17, 2017
132
48
28
#111
TheWriter said:
All you need to do, is get a gas mask when it is time to change that diaper. Lol
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I dont even smell anything gross about his poop anymore ive become immune...i can even check it out to see any abnormalities without flinching....sigh...how did it get to this
 
Moses_Young

Moses_Young

Banned
#112
Sep 15, 2019
9,991
5,546
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#112
MsMediator said:
Men cannot provide for a family on their salary alone nowadays. Also, men have the option of finding a wife who wants to be a stay at home wife/mom.
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Yeah, but the reason for this is all the women in the workforce who don't need to be there. Fewer people in the workforce, employers will pay more - simple supply and demand. It's called social engineering, and the Communist governments of the world (i.e. most of them, including the US) have done a good job of it.

Taxation also plays a big part - taxing traditional families (i.e. with mom staying home to raise kids and look after family), while using the money taxed from the traditional family to subsidize the LGBTQPs and paying for the childcare or maternity leave of the family where both parents are working, and Uncle Sam gets to raise the kids. If governments weren't robbing traditional families of so much money in taxation, it would be a more attractive proposition for women who choose to be stay-at-home wives/mothers. It's a hard enough job without governments getting involved to incentivize it, whilst using the stolen funds to incentivize the destructive alternatives.

Godsgirl1983 said:
if only more people realized/understood/acknowledged this.
I see more and more dads out and about with the little ones (and I hope it is because it gives mom a break, and dad time to spend with the child- but then they talk and you find out it is a stay at home dad).
While dad can be there, very few men are actually "hard wired by God" to take on the deeper parts of care and nurturing that is required.
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Yeah. Also social engineering - governments and corporations are working hand-in-glove to make it more profitable for women to work and men to stay at home. It helps to reduce the population and reverse the God-ordained order. Taxation money is stolen from God-fearing folk to be used as financial weapons against them.
 
G

George0115

Guest
#113
#113
Speaking as a man, I think it"s fine for a woman to work. Women have hopes & dreams just like men do. If they want to do something with their life, who am I to tell them no. This isn't the 1950" s anymore, women do a lot a awesome stuff. I'm all for women working. Do your thing ladies. Don't let a man tell you what to do. I don't think most women care at all what men think anyways lol. There are a lot of women out there making more money than their husbands. Men don't like to hear that one lol.
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#114
Mar 8, 2022
1,101
740
113
#114
Moses_Young said:
Yeah, but the reason for this is all the women in the workforce who don't need to be there. Fewer people in the workforce, employers will pay more - simple supply and demand. It's called social engineering, and the Communist governments of the world (i.e. most of them, including the US) have done a good job of it.
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You are making a huge assumption that wages will increase if there are no women in the workforce. I personally don't see the evidence that wages have decreased significantly due to women entering workforce. If you inflate minimage wage from the 1950s to today's worth using CPI, today's wage is in the same ballpark. Or you can pick another profession such as engineer.

What has increased substantially is cost of goods, which is not really related to wage increase which is why people are seeing an increasing gap between wages and cost of goods. If wages are basically on par with inflation, there are other cost drivers which are driving cost of goods. A home or vehicle costing more now than in 1950s is not entirely related to wages but other factors such as supplies and energy, and value of land.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#115
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#115
why does everyone still think its the 1950s?!

Ok we are post-war but hello theres been actually been many wars after the world war 2 that people are STILL fighting.

Anyway with the stay at home mum and working dad thing, that is definitely changing, and dads do need to step up a bit when they stay at home and the mum works. Its not easy, especially if theres no support from the grandparents.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#116
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#116
Parents should see that staying at home is definitely WORK, just thats its not valued by pay...its housework. I think be at home if you can because daycares is expensive and not always the best for young ones. You talking about a dozen or more children crowded into one house and none of them are able to have much one on one time with caregivers. Thats why the rich employed nannies who lived in.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#117
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#117
Laundry is probably the easiest of jobs...I dont really like mowing lawns but I can do it.
Just make housework fun if you the one doing it, nobody likes a martyr who hates and complains about their job. When you do housework, you are your own boss anyway. You set your own standards. Maybe you can have one messy day a week or a day when you just say, well sits a work in progress. Not every home is gonna be a showhome lol
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#118
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#118
Please dont be an engineer lol
I have engineer brother and his house is full of old car parts...
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#120
Mar 13, 2014
42,598
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#120
Lanolin said:
Laundry is probably the easiest of jobs...I dont really like mowing lawns but I can do it.
Just make housework fun if you the one doing it, nobody likes a martyr who hates and complains about their job. When you do housework, you are your own boss anyway. You set your own standards. Maybe you can have one messy day a week or a day when you just say, well sits a work in progress. Not every home is gonna be a showhome lol
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I found that laundry is a task that I really don't mind doing.
 
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