Why is there such a high rate of "second chance"women?

[persecuted]

I am wondering why churches and this site are so loaded up with second chance women. (Women who have already been married or have kids.) I'm not trying to be judgmental I just have become curious how the standard "church girl" has so radically changed from back when. I once thought that it was just the churches I went to but my time on here has convinced me that something more is going on.

My big wonder would be: Are most of the second chancers Christians by life who got involved with men that it didn't work out with or is it more a case of after going through relationship problems women came to God later in life? If the first, why didn't things work out the first time despite what I would assume to have been a strong attempt to have a Christian relationship? Or was there an attempt or did the christian men just completely bomb out with the women in the first place?

 

[Santana]

Well Persecuted I think if that's the case then what about the second chance men out there? It's a bit silly to think that church is not a place for second, third or even fourth chances. Why don't you come clean and ask the real question you're thinking. That beautiful girl that didn't give a guy the time of day back in high school is back in the church and now she's fat and old with kids so we need to throw her out. That my friend is a manifestation of the flesh, I suggest immediate repentance for anyone who thinks that way.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I am wondering why churches and this site are so loaded up with second chance women. (Women who have already been married or have kids.) I'm not trying to be judgmental I just have become curious how the standard "church girl" has so radically changed from back when. I once thought that it was just the churches I went to but my time on here has convinced me that something more is going on.

My big wonder would be: Are most of the second chancers Christians by life who got involved with men that it didn't work out with or is it more a case of after going through relationship problems women came to God later in life? If the first, why didn't things work out the first time despite what I would assume to have been a strong attempt to have a Christian relationship? Or was there an attempt or did the christian men just completely bomb out with the women in the first place?

You really enjoy offending women don't you.

 

[Jullianna]

EVERYONE in the Church has been given, at the very least, a second chance (probably more). That's why Jesus came. To think otherwise would simply be...what's that word???? hypocracy???

But, if you mean women who may have been in past relationships, I would imagine they (we) exist for the same reason "second chance men" exist: Spouses die (my category), divorce happens (even if you don't want it many times; sometimes to spare a life even) and people. simply. make. mistakes. The men who've experienced the same things and have made the exact same mistakes may be a little less obvious to you because their past isn't toddling along behind them. They're probably with mommy.

 

[zeroturbulence]

You really enjoy offending women don't you.

Nevermind. Now that I think about it, you may actually be on to something! There does seem to be a lot more single women here than men, and a number of them have been previously marired or have kids, or both. But it might just be that guys are less likely to join a forum like this.

 

[persecuted]

Oh, good, more angry sniping that I have become used to on here. I think this is a fair thread given what people have been saying about not being able to find a mate of the christian persuasion.

REALITY: Most men in their mid to late twenties who are looking for a partner and have no children and have never been married want a woman of the same. My experiences are that for whatever reason there are lots of never married, no kids men in their twenties in church. There seems to be very few women of the same. Yet at the same time there seems to be lots of slightly older women who have been divorced or have kids and are looking. Likewise, the church seems to attract very few men who are divorced or have kids from previous marriages. I am starting to wonder why this dynamic exists. When it comes right down to it, this makes christians incompatible for each other whether anyone likes the "second chance women" phrase I came up with.

(Of course I realize there are some on here angry that I am getting in the way of their "white males must be 100% charitable" but I'm not one so I get to be a lifetime taker" mentality, but please try to keep that on numerous other threads and discuss the topic on hand here if you please.)

 

[zeroturbulence]

I think men are quicker to remarry or find a girlfriend because men don't "lose points" for being older or having kids from a previous marriage or relationship. Women on the other hand, can have those things count as strikes against them, so it may take longer for them to find a partner. I know, its not fair but I think its generally true. OK, I hope the women don't all hate me now. I personally don't count those things against them!

 

[Jullianna]

Oh, good, more angry sniping that I have become used to on here. I think this is a fair thread given what people have been saying about not being able to find a mate of the christian persuasion.

REALITY: Most men in their mid to late twenties who are looking for a partner and have no children and have never been married want a woman of the same. My experiences are that for whatever reason there are lots of never married, no kids men in their twenties in church. There seems to be very few women of the same. Yet at the same time there seems to be lots of slightly older women who have been divorced or have kids and are looking. Likewise, the church seems to attract very few men who are divorced or have kids from previous marriages. I am starting to wonder why this dynamic exists. When it comes right down to it, this makes christians incompatible for each other whether anyone likes the "second chance women" phrase I came up with.

(Of course I realize there are some on here angry that I am getting in the way of their "white males must be 100% charitable" but I'm not one so I get to be a lifetime taker" mentality, but please try to keep that on numerous other threads and discuss the topic on hand here if you please.)

^ we get that^ We got it the first few times you posted it.

Who's angry? We love you! (just pretend there's a row of pretty hearts here cos there's no heart icon option)

 

[Rosewater]

You should participate in the chatroom discussions. Lots of single 20-something never married girls there. Us old ladies like to write more than chat.

 

[Jullianna]

Here ya go. Have a blessed day!

 

[yaright]

It would be fair to say that generally, the reason you find men and women in church has to do with recognizing their sinful (filthy) lives, when we were called by the Word of God to repent and follow in the teaching of Jesus. Those MEN and WOMEN who do not believe their sin is not all that bad.... go to church to look good. Jesus said we are all the same to Him. The Church of living stones shaped by the hands of a Carpenter's Son, of which all Christians are apart of,
is not built with stones that are better or worse. All these, God has chosen, and none can be removed from His hand. If God has chosen you, and the people next to you..., what eyes do you use when you see these sinners all around you?

 

[Jullianna]

This is what truly christian women in their mid-20s are looking for (it’s posted all over these forums, but I’m paraphrasing for your convenience cos I’m nice like that):

Godly men who know the Word and LIVE the Word, who don’t whine, who are willing to be the change they want to see in the world, who don’t make excuses and blame everyone else for their own bad behavior but surrender wholly to the Lord, who don’t sleep with everyone who’s willing, who don’t gawk at them/talk about them lewdly and make their skin crawl, and don’t repeat themselves over and over – men who guard their tongues and actions wisely; men of strength and character they can love and RESPECT as they are called to by scripture.

 

[persecuted]

I think men are quicker to remarry or find a girlfriend because men don't "lose points" for being older or having kids from a previous marriage or relationship. Women on the other hand, can have those things count as strikes against them, so it may take longer for them to find a partner. I know, its not fair but I think its generally true. OK, I hope the women don't all hate me now. I personally don't count those things against them!

Well thanks for that because its something I've been wondering long before ever even joining this forum. Makes sense.

This is what truly christian women in their mid-20s are looking for (it’s posted all over these forums, but I’m paraphrasing for your convenience cos I’m nice like that):

Godly men who know the Word and LIVE the Word, who don’t whine, who are willing to be the change they want to see in the world, who don’t make excuses and blame everyone else for their own bad behavior but surrender wholly to the Lord, who don’t sleep with everyone who’s willing, who don’t gawk at them/talk about them lewdly and make their skin crawl, and don’t repeat themselves over and over – men who guard their tongues and actions wisely; men of strength and character they can love and RESPECT as they are called to by scripture.

lol... sounds more like your personal wish list... and I get the sense that everywhere you use the words "The Lord" you really mean "ME" and where you suggest "living the word" you really mean "following Marxist Leninist Principles as are being forced upon actual God fearing Texans by New World Order police enforcers."

 

[kayem77]

lol... sounds more like your personal wish list... and I get the sense that everywhere you use the words "The Lord" you really mean "ME" and where you suggest "living the word" you really mean "following Marxist Leninist Principles as are being forced upon actual God fearing Texans by New World Order police enforcers."

Since when is the Word, the Bible, a marxist whatever book of principles? I was guessing we all knew what the Bible was. And by the way...I'm not in my mid 20's but I liked that wish list.

 

[persecuted]

Since when is the Word, the Bible, a marxist whatever book of principles? I was guessing we all knew what the Bible was. And by the way...I'm not in my mid 20's but I liked that wish list.

Since all you commie pinkos sent it back to Moscow and had it analysed for quotes you could pervert in order to further your marxist leninist revolution.

Not in your mid 20's. Okay, so how many ex-husbands and children do YOU have???

 

[NMsmile]

I laughed in horror at some of these posts. I'm sure glad God loves us all because sometimes we are just obnoxious in a loving sibling sort of way....

 

[kayem77]

Not in your mid 20's. Okay, so how many ex-husbands and children do YOU have???

I don't like to reveal my past in public

 

[Liamson]

lol... sounds more like your personal wish list... and I get the sense that everywhere you use the words "The Lord" you really mean "ME" and where you suggest "living the word" you really mean "following Marxist Leninist Principles as are being forced upon actual God fearing Texans by New World Order police enforcers."

*sigh*

Then Jesus said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." And they were amazed at him. - Mark 12:17

Why is ^this^ important?

The Government is not a charity organization. It is a government. It is designed to, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote general welfare and ensure liberty to ourselves and our Posterity. It is not a charity organization designed to redistribute wealth. It is not responsible conditions associated with its inherent responsibilities to its citizenry to those who are neither citizens nor within its borders.

How does this differs from Christianity?

Well first we must ask ourselves, what is the purpose of Christianity? "Love the Lord with all your heart soul mind and strength and to Love your neighbor as yourself." Do this and the Kingdom is yours. Just as man cannot serve two masters, we cannot accomplish both serving the government alone and hope it accounts for God. We as Christians are called to serve God first but, also to do what is required of us according to the state we live in, so long as it does not conflict with the Law of God.

How does this fit into redistribution of taxes and Government funds and services to foreign countries?

The answer is that it doesn't. Our service to our Lord has nothing to do with what country we are from or what it chooses to do with the money that it taxes from us. We as Christians are pilgrims in a foreign land. This world is not ours but, we have a responsibility to show the love of Christ to the people who live here. This charity is a separate entity which REQUIRES us to Go and Find our Neighbors wherever they are to be found and do as Jesus taught us to do.

The darkest corners of the world, Like the 10/40 window, where few dare to venture are prime real estate for spreading the Good News and God's Love. It is not someone else's responsibility. There is no regional church that hangs a welcome sign in places like North Korea, Indonesia, Uzbekistan and Iran. We are the light of the world and the salt of the earth but, if we believe that someone else will do it for us, we are mistaken. God's Will, will be accomplished with or without You on board.

 

[Jullianna]

Well thanks for that because its something I've been wondering long before ever even joining this forum. Makes sense.



lol... sounds more like your personal wish list... and I get the sense that everywhere you use the words "The Lord" you really mean "ME" and where you suggest "living the word" you really mean "following Marxist Leninist Principles as are being forced upon actual God fearing Texans by New World Order police enforcers."

LOL! Cute No, sweetie. I'll be praying about your reading comprehension issue, but I said that was what women in their mid-20s wanted. Women my age just want peace and quiet most of the time.

hugsssssss! We love you

 

[persecuted]

*sigh*

Then Jesus said to them, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." And they were amazed at him. - Mark 12:17

Why is ^this^ important?

The Government is not a charity organization. It is a government. It is designed to, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote general welfare and ensure liberty to ourselves and our Posterity. It is not a charity organization designed to redistribute wealth. It is not responsible conditions associated with its inherent responsibilities to its citizenry to those who are neither citizens nor within its borders.

How does this differs from Christianity?

Well first we must ask ourselves, what is the purpose of Christianity? "Love the Lord with all your heart soul mind and strength and to Love your neighbor as yourself." Do this and the Kingdom is yours. Just as man cannot serve two masters, we cannot accomplish both serving the government alone and hope it accounts for God. We as Christians are called to serve God first but, also to do what is required of us according to the state we live in, so long as it does not conflict with the Law of God.

How does this fit into redistribution of taxes and Government funds and services to foreign countries?

The answer is that it doesn't. Our service to our Lord has nothing to do with what country we are from or what it chooses to do with the money that it taxes from us. We as Christians are pilgrims in a foreign land. This world is not ours but, we have a responsibility to show the love of Christ to the people who live here. This charity is a separate entity which REQUIRES us to Go and Find our Neighbors wherever they are to be found and do as Jesus taught us to do.

The darkest corners of the world, Like the 10/40 window, where few dare to venture are prime real estate for spreading the Good News and God's Love. It is not someone else's responsibility. There is no regional church that hangs a welcome sign in places like North Korea, Indonesia, Uzbekistan and Iran. We are the light of the world and the salt of the earth but, if we believe that someone else will do it for us, we are mistaken. God's Will, will be accomplished with or without You on board.

So then, what is your take on Canadian and American churches who help smuggle people into the country and then encourage them to apply for social assistance with the host nation? Christian or non-Christian?

Next, U.S.A. has apparently donated $400 million to the current situation in Africa. Should christians support or say "butt out and let us do our own donating?" And since the government is in fact taking money for this endeavour from taxpayers, then why shouldn't a taxpayer say "I've already done my part, find someone else to donate?"

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, it must be remembered that God can save all with a snap of his fingers if he pleases anyhow. So how do you know that there ISN'T a Sodom and Gomorah type punishment attached to chronically suffering regions?