Equally Yoked Marriage

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ThereRoseaLamb

Well-known member
Jan 17, 2023
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#21
I appreciate the question. My husband goes to a pentecostal holiness church where the Word of God is not accurately taught by the lead pastor. I love the Word of God, and I love His Presence. Both are woefully lacking for me, at that church. My husband is an elder there and has been at that church for over fifty years. Understandably, he doesn’t want to leave there because he’s developed close friendships with everyone there. I only started going to his church after we got married (about 10 years ago). We’re both highly educated people and worked for the government together. We share many of the same “likes” together. So, for a long time, I could not understand why he was opposed to finding another church where we could both worship the Lord, together. My husband has not insisted that I attend his church with him. So, I attend a different church. I respect my husband, but I love God more than I love my husband.
No, I don't see anything in Scripture that says you must attend the same church. Go where you get fed. I don't see any issue with that.
 

FollowerofShiloh

Well-known member
Jan 24, 2024
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#23
Holiness teach you aren't saved unless you speak in tongues.
There are some who definitely push that thought indeed. I was asking because I was thinking in similar lines but maybe about certain other doctrines. But the answer she provided did leave me with one question. How does she believe, what is the doctrine she adheres to? I ask because I know how I believe and when I hear a different doctrine preached I feel like it's wrong myself. So is it how the Preacher preaches or is the person just opposed to a doctrine and nothing the Preacher could do to make the person happy even if they were allowed to try? There's really a lot of dots not connected here to make any conclusion. But they could be if I knew how she personally believes.
 
Mar 13, 2024
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#25
Holiness teach you aren't saved unless you speak in tongues.
I believe what the Bible says about the infilling of the Holy Spirit (i.e., that tongues are a gift of the Holy Spirit, just like prophesy). The Bible clearly says that not every born-again believer speaks in tongues or prophecies. However, every born again believer must be infilled with the Holy Spirit.
 

FollowerofShiloh

Well-known member
Jan 24, 2024
4,321
714
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#26
He seems to ignore what the lead pastor says or teaches
Interesting! I do agree that we must go to where we feel like we belong and are hearing the "truth" being preached. I personally see no issue if that means you will be attending a different church than your husband. I commend you for your stance to be faithful to God and to your personal beliefs. I pray that God continues to bless your walk with Him.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,230
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#27
I believe that Ephesians 5 addresses this problem. Especially verse 31. I don't believe that a husband and wife should worship in different directions. If this is done, it becomes impossible to become one flesh. How can you become one if you separate on the basics? I suggest that as a couple, you alternate churches, come home and discuss the days message.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
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#28
In other words, the lead pastor seems to be more interested in elevating himself, than in elevating Jesus Christ!
So now it is your husband's duty and responsibility as an elder to get all the other elders together, and provide them with the evidence that this pastor is unfit to be in that position. Which means that they will need to politely give him notice to resign, and provide the biblical reasons in writing. Then replace him with a more suitable person. But all the other elders should have already seen this, and have done nothing. So there is a real "situation" here.

The problem is that you are not the person who can suggest this to your husband. The Lord will need to convict him of ignoring this reality and failing in his duty. So all you can do is pray that he will be convicted. But he could still ignore that and carry on as though everything is just fine.

Under the circumstances, and since there is no overt conflict, you cold continue going to the church of your choice until something positive is done at his church.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
25,472
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#29
So now it is your husband's duty and responsibility as an elder to get all the other elders together, and provide them with the evidence that this pastor is unfit to be in that position. Which means that they will need to politely give him notice to resign, and provide the biblical reasons in writing. Then replace him with a more suitable person. But all the other elders should have already seen this, and have done nothing. So there is a real "situation" here.

The problem is that you are not the person who can suggest this to your husband. The Lord will need to convict him of ignoring this reality and failing in his duty. So all you can do is pray that he will be convicted. But he could still ignore that and carry on as though everything is just fine.

Under the circumstances, and since there is no overt conflict, you cold continue going to the church of your choice until something positive is done at his church.
I disagree strongly with your statement (bolded). Where does Scripture muzzle a wife from speaking forthrightly to her husband? It's not her job to convince him (which many wives unfortunately try to do) but there is nothing wrong with her suggesting a course of remedial action. Far too many wrongs persist because people who can do so don't speak up.
 

Mem

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
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#30
A rabbi, (and his wife, rebbetzin or rabbanit) exampled this subject as likened to tandem water skiing, that you should be pulled by the same motor. So, then the couple's discussion should begin with an assessment of the 'motor' or driving force, which each of you have taken hold of, in order to determine which adjustments need to be made.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
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#31
I disagree strongly with your statement (bolded). Where does Scripture muzzle a wife from speaking forthrightly to her husband?
No that was not the thought. The issue is that a third party should bring this to his attention rather than the wife. It would be taken in a different light, since there is nothing personal. Since this is a sensitive matter, that would be far better.