Welcome

[seantspence]

Hi, my name is Sean. I love sending memes to my friends like finger gun to the head or jumping out a high rise building because the isolation I experience on a daily basis. I want to go to church but I am waiting on an invite. Feels weird just showing up. Especially since some places have shunned me. Just looking for real people who don’t use Jesus/God/Holy Spirit as a feeling that they get high off of. I usually can’t wait until they hit a point in their life when they start suffering like I have and then come crawling to me. Then I have to play hero and direct their path. People hate me for being me but they hated Jesus first.

 

[Bingo]

"Spiritual awakenings have been known to take place when alone."

https://christianchat.com/threads/i-saw-the-light.182858/post-3912695

 

[seantspence]

View attachment 267921

"Spiritual awakenings have been known to take place when alone."

https://christianchat.com/threads/i-saw-the-light.182858/post-3912695
View attachment 267924

Thank you, I hope so too. Every church that I go to, everyone acts like they are perfect and it really gets in the way of me healing from my past abuse, neglect, trauma and trust issues, They say they understand but they don’.

 

[TabinRivCA]

Hi Sean, nice to see you back, welcome! Have you tried the Calvary/Harvest churches in your area, they're very friendly and welcoming. God bless & keep you🙏✝🔯

 

[seantspence]

I’ve talked to some people from Calvary Church but they seed to have fallen to Calvinism and harvest churches by Greg Laurie is another one that I sense the lack of grace at. Greg is great at convicting people to follow Christ and he is well known but the churches that I’m mostly drawn to because you can hear the grace in their voice, while also experiencing the presence of God is a charismatic Protestant church that is Christ centered and full of grace. The church that resembles that is one I’ve been going to since 2000. I just can’t seemed to find one closer to home. A lot of the churches practices gifts such as tongues but there are no interpreters as spoken of in the Bible. They are also very public with tithing, even though tithing and giving is to be done in private. So I’m trying to find a church with those qualities that reminds me of the church that I grew up with but I can’t seem to find one like that in Long Beach, CA.

 

[seantspence]

Hi Sean, nice to see you back, welcome! Have you tried the Calvary/Harvest churches in your area, they're very friendly and welcoming. God bless & keep you🙏✝🔯

I should probably check them out though. Maybe it’s not just about what I want.

 

[Bingo]

Thank you, I hope so too. Every church that I go to, everyone acts like they are perfect and it really gets in the way of me healing from my past abuse, neglect, trauma and trust issues, They say they understand but they don’.

"The real world is also often a phony world, of people. No one can truly understand another person's
personal issues unless having experienced similar circumstances. I have learned in the past twenty-five
years, I had to man up and fix my problems, and having God in my life has surely helped...believe it.
Spiritual discipline and self-control I have found works."

 

[seantspence]

"The real world is also often a phony world, of people. No one can truly understand another person's
personal issues unless having experienced similar circumstances. I have learned in the past twenty-five
years, I had to man up and fix my problems, and having God in my life has surely helped...believe it.
Spiritual discipline and self-control I have found works."

I have been seeing a Christian therapist and processing past trauma. I have a lot of bottled up hurt from being sexually assaulted at 6 by a woman and being hyper sexualized that same year with a girl one year older than me. A decade went by until I started drinking alcohol and the hyper sexuality came out and I probably slept with 27 women in 4 years. After being on prescription meds for over a decade, my past hurts still weren’t processed, so now talking about it with a therapist is definitely helping. I’ve been celibate for over ten years but instead of sex I turned to pornography. I just repented sexual immorality almost a month ago and haven’t used any porn or masturbation since but I can tell that the hurt and shame is still there and unprocessed. I have been using an app called Covenant Eyes for accountability. It monitor every single device you own and will report any lustful images to your allies. Plus it keeps you off oof social media, even YouTube. So I guess Christian Chat is now my only outlet online to share my testimonial. We are all struggling with something. A lot of the Christians at church seem like they are really good at hiding it or are whole and well, which I’m definitely striving for. I figure community will help me figure out how to get there.

 

[tourist]

Sorry about your feelings of isolation. I am sure that you won't be shunned here. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.

 

[seantspence]

Sorry about your feelings of isolation. I am sure that you won't be shunned here. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.

Thank you tourist, I figure I can safely share my hurt, trauma, abuse, hate, anger and resentment here, while managing the bullies who may try to attack me while I’m here.

 

[tourist]

Thank you tourist, I figure I can safely share my hurt, trauma, abuse, hate, anger and resentment here, while managing the bullies who may try to attack me while I’m here.

There are a few bullies but they mostly hang out in the Bible Discussion Forum as they attempt to prove their spiritual superiority. Much more friendly in the Singles Forum where I basically hang out even though I am married. Safe travels to you as you navigate this site.

 

[Bingo]

I have been seeing a Christian therapist and processing past trauma. I have a lot of bottled up hurt from being sexually assaulted at 6 by a woman and being hyper sexualized that same year with a girl one year older than me. A decade went by until I started drinking alcohol and the hyper sexuality came out and I probably slept with 27 women in 4 years. After being on prescription meds for over a decade, my past hurts still weren’t processed, so now talking about it with a therapist is definitely helping. I’ve been celibate for over ten years but instead of sex I turned to pornography. I just repented sexual immorality almost a month ago and haven’t used any porn or masturbation since but I can tell that the hurt and shame is still there and unprocessed. I have been using an app called Covenant Eyes for accountability. It monitor every single device you own and will report any lustful images to your allies. Plus it keeps you off oof social media, even YouTube. So I guess Christian Chat is now my only outlet online to share my testimonial. We are all struggling with something. A lot of the Christians at church seem like they are really good at hiding it or are whole and well, which I’m definitely striving for. I figure community will help me figure out how to get there.

"Thanks for sharing. Sharing with those who have some understanding goes a long way.
One should use caution when getting caught up in all the so-called help that is out there.
You might like the thread on this site called CRA, in the Misc. forum.
https://christianchat.com/threads/cra-christians-in-recovery-anonymous.184102/post-5324229

 

[seantspence]

"Thanks for sharing. Sharing with those who have some understanding goes a long way.
One should use caution when getting caught up in all the so-called help that is out there.
You might like the thread on this site called CRA, in the Misc. forum.
https://christianchat.com/threads/cra-christians-in-recovery-anonymous.184102/post-5324229

i’ll check it out after my therapy appointment in the morning. I truly appreciate you forwarding me that information!