Thank you! I actually did hi talk to him and he said that he is not where he needs to be with God at all right now and he said that I wouldn't want him the way he is right now anyway. He also said there are things he WONT give up right now. He said maybe God would bring us back together down the road, but it's painful that he's choosing worldly pleasures over God. And I feel rejected. Just stinks.
It's very easy and normal to look at a situation and think of your viewpoint and how you're affected. Or thinking it's about you.
The reality is neither love nor marriage is a magic fix for the struggles people face inside. Struggles that have nothing to do with you, personally. Especially ones that may have been around for years or decades. Things they may have even hidden from you.
What he's experiencing is personal to him, it sounds like. Battling through some things and, it definitely feels like rejection on your end, according to what you're telling us he said, in his mind he may believe he's protecting you... from himself. Which is a form of sacrifice.
And, naturally, you being outside this would feel it's better to go through it together and that you want to help.
As a person that's been on both sides of this i can say, seeing each sides view, both make sense. I've pushed people away when I was suffering and I've been pushed away when others were suffering. Each side has a mindset that the other can't understand. And, again, it's not personal.
Also consider this may be part of his spiritual journey. Something God wants him to go through to grow him in the long run.
Afterwards he may want to reconcile, and he may not. The best you can do is move on with your life, yet keep communication open, without the goal of urging him to get back together. Rather keep it open to show your worry for him and continue offering to help.
But if you do this you'll need to be prepared to stay single for as long as you hold onto him. No other man will have a chance with you. And if he chooses not to reconcile in the end, be prepared for that and staying single even longer to take time to heal.
I knew someone wanting to reconcile after a divorce. He waited years, convinced God wanted them back together. And that may have been true. But she was already remarried. And never returned to him. He himself remarried, after waiting so long for someone that perhaps didn't do what God wanted them to do.
It's a tough situation. Dealing with people is always a risk. There are no guarantees.
I once knew a woman that was a pastors wife of a Baptist minister in the bible belt. They had 4 kids and married decades. And she happily lived as expected to for a pastors wife. Then randomly one day she flipped. She told me she didn't even know why or what happened. But she began sleeping around. Having men come to her house while her 3 year old was home (she kept him away from the men). Finally she settled on a Buddhist man she got serious with. Her husband eventually found out, you can imagine the blowout. Basically he compromised to keep her, worried about his reputation as a pastor. To keep her from cheating he did things for her he did not believe were right. And it seemed to work for a while, but if I recall that didn't last very long before she wanted to start finding men again.
I'm not suggesting that's your ex, just an example of the drastic changes people can go through.
Of course all of this is based on the information you've given so far. More information may alter the response.
