Dad jokes

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Krumbeard

Well-known member
Apr 15, 2019
1,139
773
113
What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay?

A bagel.
 

j55

Active member
Sep 29, 2024
111
42
28
Before my dad passed away in 2011. I took him to va hospital every few months. One time, I got on highway, and. After few minutes. My dad asks me, Where the hell are you going ??? !! We we're going in wrong direction to the hospital. I told him I was in habit of going to my old job this way. So got off ramp, and hurried up to va hospital.

My cousin, who I have no contact with since 1990s. He let me and my dad in 1990s use his car for driving test. When both me and my dad got in car. The seat belt was broken and driver seat was unstable. My dad told me, this junk car won't pass. He was right, week later, it didn't pass.

Back around 2002. My dad and sibling, went to motorcycle school. Last day. My dad took a motorcycle for short ride. It looked like he almost got on side Walk, and was headed for the highway. He regained control, and came back to the group, and instructor. They were laughing so hard, they almost had tears in their eyes.
Peace.
 
Oct 31, 2024
14
4
3
Something Ive always wondered...why are there so many dad jokes but no mum jokes.
I worked in a bookstore and half the humour shelves were taken up with dad jokes but never any mum jokes.

I cant tell you any off the top of my head though.
Im sure there must be some funny mothers..?!
Dad jokes LOL
 
Oct 31, 2024
14
4
3
Before my dad passed away in 2011. I took him to va hospital every few months. One time, I got on highway, and. After few minutes. My dad asks me, Where the hell are you going ??? !! We we're going in wrong direction to the hospital. I told him I was in habit of going to my old job this way. So got off ramp, and hurried up to va hospital.

My cousin, who I have no contact with since 1990s. He let me and my dad in 1990s use his car for driving test. When both me and my dad got in car. The seat belt was broken and driver seat was unstable. My dad told me, this junk car won't pass. He was right, week later, it didn't pass.

Back around 2002. My dad and sibling, went to motorcycle school. Last day. My dad took a motorcycle for short ride. It looked like he almost got on side Walk, and was headed for the highway. He regained control, and came back to the group, and instructor. They were laughing so hard, they almost had tears in their eyes.
Peace.
Peace and love
 

j55

Active member
Sep 29, 2024
111
42
28
Many years ago. My dad told me about phone call he got. He thought it was one of his sons. Turned out, it was friend of older brother. Telling my, dad, doing midnight barbecue. It was late fall. My dad thought it was weird. Asked him, do you always do this ?? He says, yeah, the heart burn is what bothers him. My dad was confused about it. Until he found out later, it wasn't one of his sons. Friend of my older brother.

1970s. A woman asks my dad for help. To crawl in window and open her door. She Left her keys in house. My dad asks her. Why don't you crawl in the window and open the door ??. She says to my dad. Because, there are Two Siamese cats in the kitchen. My dad told her, good luck.

1950s. Army. My dad saw Sgt shooting sea ration cans. Bullets bouncing everywhere. My dad confronted him. Later, Captain calls my dad in office. After explaining it. The captain scolded the Sgt. Then lt. Colonel asks my dad, why are you still private after 3 years ??
My dad replys, Probably same reason your not full bird Colonel. The Lt Colonel face turned red, and he yelled at him. My dad walked off.