New job

[CarriePie]

I pray that the Lord will bless you with wisdom and discernment for all that lies ahead of you, whether that be situations or people or what-have-you.

Btw, I don't say this to mean that you aren't wise! This is just something I pray for myself daily, 'cause the Lord's wisdom and guidance is very important to me.

That is awesome! corn bread sounds good. I think I use to have corn bread at a restaurant chain called El Torrito. they also had sweet butter and freshly made tortillas that felt like they were just pressed in the back kitchen. I think if I fed the animals over here, they may get into the backyard and attack our dog while he is using the restroom so that may not be wise.

I put green chiles in the cornbread. It was tasty, I hope the critters thought so too.
There are some things I cook too well and I have to ban myself from cooking sometimes. No one really taught me how to cook. I just took to it. I guess it's like those people who take to guitar playing without lessons. I have zero musical talent. Just singing really badly lol.

 

[CarriePie]

I don't know how I'm able to deal with so much but I feel like I can't handle anymore. God is probably just removing the bad and bringing in the good. If he repents and wants to still be friends, than I would welcome him in no problem. I'm just giving him tough love, just like the church did to me. It may have hurt him but because of what I did, he'll want to turn to God, or go further into depravity until he hits rock bottom and realize I was the only one that accepted him for who he was. Even while both of us tried quitting pornography. He didn't want to buy Covenant Eyes. He said it was too much money even though he made good money. He just didn't want to turn from his sin. He enjoyed it too much and I wasn't going to allow him to lead me astray again.

This is something Paul taught too, tough love. People don't like and don't realize they need it. God bless you for separating yourself from things and people that draw you away from God.

 

[seantspence]

Btw, I don't say this to mean that you aren't wise! This is just something I pray for myself daily, 'cause the Lord's wisdom and guidance is very important to me.




I put green chiles in the cornbread. It was tasty, I hope the critters thought so too.
There are some things I cook too well and I have to ban myself from cooking sometimes. No one really taught me how to cook. I just took to it. I guess it's like those people who take to guitar playing without lessons. I have zero musical talent. Just singing really badly lol.

I recommend also reading from Job to Ecclesiastes over and over again, just so wisdom is more engrained. God does say that if you pray for wisdom he'll give it to you abundantly. So either choice.

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Green chilis in corn bread??????? I'd have to try it to believe it, cause my mind can't imagine that being good.

No one taught me how to draw my whole life until I reached high school and took drawing all four years. It was basically just time for me to show off. I remember being super over confident and saying looks like another A, like the first day of class every year. It was the class that I always got the best grades because of how talented I was. I use to have the ability to draw anything without looking at it. I may have lost that ability. I don't even draw anymore but I do like art therapy where I just make relaxing designs with my iPad and Apple Pencil.

 

[seantspence]

This is something Paul taught too, tough love. People don't like and don't realize they need it. God bless you for separating yourself from things and people that draw you away from God.

I agree. He was someone who said they accepted Jesus as their lord and savior, yet having sex with with women at massage parlors. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior I took it as the most serious commitment that I ever took in my entire life and so I wanted him to realize that what he was doing was completely wrong and leading people to hell.

 

[seantspence]

Btw, I don't say this to mean that you aren't wise! This is just something I pray for myself daily, 'cause the Lord's wisdom and guidance is very important to me.




I put green chiles in the cornbread. It was tasty, I hope the critters thought so too.
There are some things I cook too well and I have to ban myself from cooking sometimes. No one really taught me how to cook. I just took to it. I guess it's like those people who take to guitar playing without lessons. I have zero musical talent. Just singing really badly lol.

I probably listened to Proverbs maybe 30 times the year I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. Everyday, the whole book before I served tables, cause I wanted to be like King Solomon.

 

[seantspence]

I agree. He was someone who said they accepted Jesus as their lord and savior, yet having sex with with women at massage parlors. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior I took it as the most serious commitment that I ever took in my entire life and so I wanted him to realize that what he was doing was completely wrong and leading people to hell.

I sound like a Pharisee

 

[CarriePie]

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Green chilis in corn bread??????? I'd have to try it to believe it, cause my mind can't imagine that being good.

My laughter reaction is for this ^ lol.
I also put shredded cheese into the batter.

I recommend also reading from Job to Ecclesiastes over and over again, just so wisdom is more engrained. God does say that if you pray for wisdom he'll give it to you abundantly. So either choice.

I read scriptures every morning. It's a blessing. I love Job. Great book and good creationism scriptures in there. I just keep reading the Bible over and over again. I don't know how many times I've read it, but I feel like it is necessary to do so at the beginning of my day.

No one taught me how to draw my whole life until I reached high school and took drawing all four years. It was basically just time for me to show off. I remember being super over confident and saying looks like another A, like the first day of class every year. It was the class that I always got the best grades because of how talented I was. I use to have the ability to draw anything without looking at it. I may have lost that ability. I don't even draw anymore but I do like art therapy where I just make relaxing designs with my iPad and Apple Pencil.

I took art in high school. I enjoyed it and took 4 years of it. I was dealing with a lot of things in my youth, and I found writing and art to be therapeutic to me. I'd always win the creative writing award. One year I won the dedication in art award. I was also an honor student (state and national) and other awards. I chose my dad over all that academia though. Now I'm just a recluse who hangs out with critters lol.

 

[CarriePie]

I sound like a Pharisee

I don't think you do. If you sounded like a Pharisee or some other unsavory character, you'd probably not even know who I am because I undoubtedly wouldn't be here right now lol

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Off topic...but, I worry I'm keeping you awake. I really don't mean to!

 

[seantspence]

My laughter reaction is for this ^ lol.
I also put shredded cheese into the batter.

Okay, So it was kinda like any Mexican food item, just without the meat.


I read scriptures every morning. It's a blessing. I love Job. Great book and good creationism scriptures in there. I just keep reading the Bible over and over again. I don't know how many times I've read it, but I feel like it is necessary to do so at the beginning of my day.

I hear it's a great practice to do it before the day starts. I've only done the a few times but I've always wanted to make it a habit. I tend to have a habit of staying up too late and waking up too late to be able to truly do it before the sun rises, like so many claim is the best time to get into the scriptures.


I took art in high school. I enjoyed it and took 4 years of it. I was dealing with a lot of things in my youth, and I found writing and art to be therapeutic to me. I'd always win the creative writing award. One year I won the dedication in art award. I was also an honor student (state and nati

Reminds me of my little brother who is in honors magnet STEAM classes, colleges scouting for him but he has no desire to go to college. I don't understand why people who are so bright would even need to go to college, unless it would be to go down a career that required college. There is so many careers that can be done without a college degree. I never got an associates degree and I'm working a job that technically pays more that my dad makes, when he has been in his career for almost 30 years. He and his wife basically are forcing their children to go to college cause his believed it was the only way and always thought I was a loser and that the kids should never go down my path and made it a real point about it, always shoving her thought down my throat. It's really funny. I don't have the heart to tell her that I got a job. She would think that she got under my skin. I just want her to continue believing that I'm nothing and just talk to my dad about what I'm going through, so my dad can tell her. Than have her wonder why I never come over.

 

[seantspence]

I don't think you do. If you sounded like a Pharisee or some other unsavory character, you'd probably not even know who I am because I undoubtedly wouldn't be here right now lol

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Off topic...but, I worry I'm keeping you awake. I really don't mean to!

Like I said earlier, this place is like a living water to me but now that you mention it, I am feeling kind of heavy. I'm going to take my medication and see if that will make me sleepy

 

[seantspence]

I don't think you do. If you sounded like a Pharisee or some other unsavory character, you'd probably not even know who I am because I undoubtedly wouldn't be here right now lol

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Off topic...but, I worry I'm keeping you awake. I really don't mean to!

Okay, medication has been taken. It should set in, in about a half hour.

 

[seantspence]

I don't think you do. If you sounded like a Pharisee or some other unsavory character, you'd probably not even know who I am because I undoubtedly wouldn't be here right now lol

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Off topic...but, I worry I'm keeping you awake. I really don't mean to!

One thing I heard from a pastor from Grace Church in Texas is, as a Christian, we are addicted to righteousness and allergic to sin.

 

[CarriePie]

Reminds me of my little brother who is in honors magnet STEAM classes, colleges scouting for him but he has no desire to go to college. I don't understand why people who are so bright would even need to go to college, unless it would be to go down a career that required college. There is so many careers that can be done without a college degree. I never got an associates degree and I'm working a job that technically pays more that my dad makes, when he has been in his career for almost 30 years. He and his wife basically are forcing their children to go to college cause his believed it was the only way and always thought I was a loser and that the kids should never go down my path and made it a real point about it, always shoving her thought down my throat. It's really funny. I don't have the heart to tell her that I got a job. She would think that she got under my skin. I just want her to continue believing that I'm nothing and just talk to my dad about what I'm going through, so my dad can tell her. Than have her wonder why I never come over.

I'm sorry that there is anyone out there that believes you are nothing. I think you are leaps and bounds beyond anyone who thinks such a thing.

Okay, medication has been taken. It should set in, in about a half hour.

I really do hope you'll be able to sleep. I felt bad today for keeping you up so late. Of course, I still don't feel bad about that pic lol. But, I really did feel bad that you didn't get any sleep!!

 

[seantspence]

I'm sorry that there is anyone out there that believes you are nothing. I think you are leaps and bounds beyond anyone who thinks such a thing.



I really do hope you'll be able to sleep. I felt bad today for keeping you up so late. Of course, I still don't feel bad about that pic lol. But, I really did feel bad that you didn't get any sleep!!

I don't like people who can't get passed someone failing once in life. Just cause I've had so many failures doesn't mean I'm not trying. God didn't choose me for nothing. He knew that I wouldn't give up on his mission for me. I could have killed myself years ago but I never gave into the devil telling me to kill myself. I always did everything I could to seek help if I felt something was wrong. When I was younger, before I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior, the devil use to give me thoughts to kill myself all the time but I just dealt with it and ignored those thought. I remember walking home at night from work with those thoughts, people driving next to me seeing if I needed a ride, I would always deny their gesture. I always thought it was weird if a grown man would offer me a ride at 3am in the morning while I walking like ten miles home from work cause the buses weren't running that late.

 

[CarriePie]

I don't like people who can't get passed someone failing once in life. Just cause I've had so many failures doesn't mean I'm not trying. God didn't choose me for nothing. He knew that I wouldn't give up on his mission for me. I could have killed myself years ago but I never gave into the devil telling me to kill myself. I always did everything I could to seek help if I felt something was wrong. When I was younger, before I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior, the devil use to give me thoughts to kill myself all the time but I just dealt with it and ignored those thought. I remember walking home at night from work with those thoughts, people driving next to me seeing if I needed a ride, I would always deny their gesture. I always thought it was weird if a grown man would offer me a ride at 3am in the morning while I walking like ten miles home from work cause the buses weren't running that late.

I'm thankful you are alive and well. I'm thankful that you aren't letting failures keep you from the Lord. Is there anyone who doesn't have failures? I don't know of any perfect people.
There are a lot of people I like to stay away from, but that doesn't mean I think I'm better...it's just my nature to not be around people most of the time.

 

[seantspence]

I'm thankful you are alive and well. I'm thankful that you aren't letting failures keep you from the Lord. Is there anyone who doesn't have failures? I don't know of any perfect people.
There are a lot of people I like to stay away from, but that doesn't mean I think I'm better...it's just my nature to not be around people most of the time.

Apparently my dad’s wife thinks she is perfect. Hopefully she ends up being like her mom cause her mom is like the sweetest grandmother ive ever met. I think she only graduated middle school but even she succeeded. So I don’t know why my dad’s wife is so incapable of seeing other options of success. She never graduated college. They live in a two bedroom apartment and think that there is no other options. Like because they weren’t a big success that their children are destined for the same or less. The more I stay away from them the better I do. Just like the more I stay away from my friend Josh the better my life gets. I want to be able to be around them but I can’t because of their worrying. It’s like once they started worrying about me, every time I talked to them, they can’t help but worry about me. They don’t know that worrying is a sin or at least i believe it is. Once you have doubt, you fall into the lake when Jesus is showing you that you too can walk in water.

 

[CarriePie]

Apparently my dad’s wife thinks she is perfect. Hopefully she ends up being like her mom cause her mom is like the sweetest grandmother ive ever met. I think she only graduated middle school but even she succeeded. So I don’t know why my dad’s wife is so incapable of seeing other options of success. She never graduated college. They live in a two bedroom apartment and think that there is no other options. Like because they weren’t a big success that their children are destined for the same or less. The more I stay away from them the better I do. Just like the more I stay away from my friend Josh the better my life gets. I want to be able to be around them but I can’t because of their worrying. It’s like once they started worrying about me, every time I talked to them, they can’t help but worry about me. They don’t know that worrying is a sin or at least i believe it is. Once you have doubt, you fall into the lake when Jesus is showing you that you too can walk in water.

I must admit, I can get into stages of being concerned about something or someone. Currently, I'm in a phase of grief, so any other negative feeling pales in comparison lol. The second closest person to me, after dad, turned very cold during the thickest part of my grief. Even just last week I was having a particularly difficult day, much grief and weeping. They were confused and then said, "Oh, I forgot you are going through grief." If seems during the harshest points in my life, they have the same reaction. So, I came to a point where I'm okay with them being in my life, but I've emotionally detached from them. I feel that someone close to you should stick it out when life is rough. That's what you do for each other. And you don't look down on each other. I guess there needs to be classes on how to be caring.

 

[seantspence]

I feel like you and I are both in a grieving period. You with your dad and me with my friend Elijah recently or my close friend Josh who I also don’t talk to as much and he doesn’t even try to contact anymore cause I didn’t tell him how much I made from composing music this year. Same guy whole stole over $2k from me cause he said it was safe to keep in a drawer at his house. I believed him and his family had the highest integrity. He made it seem like my family was garbage compared to his family. Yes, I do think his family was more functional but times have changed. I think parents are great people but I don’t think is. He told me to say the sinners prayer and ever since I did that he always told me not to read the Bible cause it is not good for my mind. What kind of Christian would make a new Christian believe that? After a while I started rebelling from him and started reading the Bible or at least reading the verse of the day in the Bible app. He told me that if I were to do any Christian activity that I could only go to church. Never anything beyond that.

Elijah on the other hand, we got along so well even though we both struggled with sexual immorality. It would be the same thing over and over again of, “I screwed up and watched again”, “ i don’t know how you can go so long without doing that Sean.” “ i don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to stop.” The thing is he never tried. The one thing he did stop doing was having sex with massage parlor employees but who knows if he is back doing that. I went out to a movie with him last we hung out and he was flirting hard with the bartender at the movie theater. I’ve never seen that side of him. It’s like he loved being able to be that guy who just gave into pleasure. Not saying pleasure is bad or anything but just no self control.

Please pray for these people if you can. I’m going to go to sleep.