Is marriage worth it?

[kinda]

I have noticed how many Christians say and suggest it is shameful for a Christian man not to be married. This certainly goes agianst Biblical teachings

"8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do"-Paul

"So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better."-Paul

Paul warns us about having "worldly sorrow' in another book "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I think the sorrow from being single is very worldly. Can you not let everything go and devote your life to God?


personally I dont really care if I marry or not, id rather not though, but the damn world seems to be trying to set me up. She has a gross period, and I say that for one reason, women rag on my male anatomy, it is just shameful, just like her period. It will make me worldly if i marry, having to worry about worldly things, ill have to change my life style, and I do not want to live like those people who boast in the families.

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

Despite what the content of your post was, your demeanor came off a bit angry. Are you o.k.? What's going on?

Anyways, nobody is forcing you to get married, so relax. If you don't want to get married, that is entirely your choice. You don't have to get all crazy about it. It really seams that you are hurt and need to heal, so it might not be a good time to be in a relationship.

I hope you are just venting and feel better by the weekend.

 

[Gideon300]

I have noticed how many Christians say and suggest it is shameful for a Christian man not to be married. This certainly goes agianst Biblical teachings

"8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do"-Paul

"So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better."-Paul

Paul warns us about having "worldly sorrow' in another book "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I think the sorrow from being single is very worldly. Can you not let everything go and devote your life to God?


personally I dont really care if I marry or not, id rather not though, but the damn world seems to be trying to set me up. She has a gross period, and I say that for one reason, women rag on my male anatomy, it is just shameful, just like her period. It will make me worldly if i marry, having to worry about worldly things, ill have to change my life style, and I do not want to live like those people who boast in the families.

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

Your choice. I was married 9 years, single 25 years and married again two years ago. My first marriage was a disaster. Now, I could not be happier.

One reason I'm glad I'm married is that I'm asked for counsel sometimes. If it is a woman, I will ensure that my wife is with me. Two reasons, for my own protection and especially because my wife has spiritual gifts that I do not have.

 

[JohnDB]

Your choice. I was married 9 years, single 25 years and married again two years ago. My first marriage was a disaster. Now, I could not be happier.

One reason I'm glad I'm married is that I'm asked for counsel sometimes. If it is a woman, I will ensure that my wife is with me. Two reasons, for my own protection and especially because my wife has spiritual gifts that I do not have.

Well,
She is a whole person individual and not a cardboard cut out imaginary person filling in an imaginary role you developed in your head. Just like everyone is.

People have institutionalized marriage and glamorized it to where it's an impossible fantasy life to live up to.
People enter marriage with notions of continuing to live their individual life with a companion of sorts. And that's not how it works. Yes, you are still you but now you are a type of Borg....no longer an individual but a collective. Children add to that collective and you are now a smaller part of that collective.

But we were NOT designed to go through life alone. Not in any respect. From our Christian celebratory nature to our work-life balance we cannot do life alone. Even if modern conveniences make it seem that we can and possibly should.

Christmas is always the big tattletale. Is the holiday season rich with friends, parties, and gift exchanges? Or is it the feelings of isolation and quiet domiciles? Not even so much as any ornamentation or baked good around to signify that a holiday is happening?

Christians are givers and not takers. They can be somewhat introverted at times but never always isolated. We are a "city on a hill" shining our light to attract others with welcoming news of how God loves us and is really good and kind to everyone. It gives others hope for the future.

Marriage is where two people join their already existing, unique ministries together to form a larger ministry that is more comprehensive and reaches more people in a variety of ways. Each spouse giving themselves to the other and yet receiving more than they give. Your identity in Christ and in married life shining through giving hope, peace, and joy to all who witness it.

I am/are a "we/us" and never me. And it's a good thing. Because together we are more than the sum of our parts.

YMMV

 

[Gideon300]

Well,
She is a whole person individual and not a cardboard cut out imaginary person filling in an imaginary role you developed in your head. Just like everyone is.

People have institutionalized marriage and glamorized it to where it's an impossible fantasy life to live up to.
People enter marriage with notions of continuing to live their individual life with a companion of sorts. And that's not how it works. Yes, you are still you but now you are a type of Borg....no longer an individual but a collective. Children add to that collective and you are now a smaller part of that collective.

But we were NOT designed to go through life alone. Not in any respect. From our Christian celebratory nature to our work-life balance we cannot do life alone. Even if modern conveniences make it seem that we can and possibly should.

Christmas is always the big tattletale. Is the holiday season rich with friends, parties, and gift exchanges? Or is it the feelings of isolation and quiet domiciles? Not even so much as any ornamentation or baked good around to signify that a holiday is happening?

Christians are givers and not takers. They can be somewhat introverted at times but never always isolated. We are a "city on a hill" shining our light to attract others with welcoming news of how God loves us and is really good and kind to everyone. It gives others hope for the future.

Marriage is where two people join their already existing, unique ministries together to form a larger ministry that is more comprehensive and reaches more people in a variety of ways. Each spouse giving themselves to the other and yet receiving more than they give. Your identity in Christ and in married life shining through giving hope, peace, and joy to all who witness it.

I am/are a "we/us" and never me. And it's a good thing. Because together we are more than the sum of our parts.

YMMV

I agree. Yet some people are too messed up, even as Christians, to be married. Some people just don't want to be married. That's their choice and God respects it. I know an 89 year old retired minister. He is a gem. It did not hurt Apostle Paul to be single. Most believers will marry and that's fine also. I was badgered for being single for many years. It's not at all helpful, especially when its so hard to find a suitable spouse these days.

 

[tourist]

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

Good selling point though. Nothing at all wrong with giving love and receiving love from your spouse. That in itself might be one of the main selling points. If you don't have the desire to marry, then fine. From the angry tone of your OP it might be best to remain single. Welcome to CC.

 

[GaryA]

I do understand that there are people (women included!) who find a woman's monthly cycle to be rather... unpleasant.

But one thing I can say about your post -- it made me all the more grateful for the dad and male friends I've had who see it as a regular part of life, and offer compassion and help, rather than disgust.

To all the guys who understand this is something we ladies have to go through and aren't particularly happy about either, thank you.

Yes - it is simply part of how God set things up - and, like many other things also, we should try to respect and understand the reasons why God set it up that way.

 

[GaryA]

Like Paul says, “So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” Right or better?

1 Corinthians 7:

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

This passage is not talking about getting married versus not [ever] getting married; rather, it is talking about a man who "cannot wait" until the end of what we today call the engagement [period].

It is based on Jewish custom - where there is a fixed culturally-mandated "wait period" before marriage. (betrothal)

In essence, it is saying (in modern-day terms):

"If you just can't wait until the end of your engagement - until the day you are to be married - go ahead and do what you have to do (i.e. - have sex) - and, be/get married [at that time] (abrupt end of engagement). However, he that has the self-control to wait has done better than he that cannot wait."

'behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin' = "cannot keep his sexual urges in check so that it interferes with the rest of the relationship"

'keep his virgin' = "retain his wife-to-be during the engagement as being like a gift to be opened on his wedding day" (looking forward to it)

 

[Trying]

I have noticed how many Christians say and suggest it is shameful for a Christian man not to be married. This certainly goes agianst Biblical teachings

"8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do"-Paul

"So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better."-Paul

Paul warns us about having "worldly sorrow' in another book "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I think the sorrow from being single is very worldly. Can you not let everything go and devote your life to God?


personally I dont really care if I marry or not, id rather not though, but the damn world seems to be trying to set me up. She has a gross period, and I say that for one reason, women rag on my male anatomy, it is just shameful, just like her period. It will make me worldly if i marry, having to worry about worldly things, ill have to change my life style, and I do not want to live like those people who boast in the families.

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

No, the bible allows marriage but does not look down on people who don't get
married and live a celibate life.
If God is happy with unmarried celibate men then it is no shame at all, I will
go along with God.

 

[melita916]

OP, if you don’t want to get married, then don’t.

I enjoy being married.

 

[MsMediator]

Christmas is always the big tattletale. Is the holiday season rich with friends, parties, and gift exchanges? Or is it the feelings of isolation and quiet domiciles? Not even so much as any ornamentation or baked good around to signify that a holiday is happening?

People come and go for various reasons, and people may also pass away. Sometimes the big parties/gatherings are not that meaningful. When one is married, there is also always the issue of which family you spend Christmas with. Most people would prefer to spend Christmas with people they know/close with than with in-laws.

 

[JohnDB]

People come and go for various reasons, and people may also pass away. Sometimes the big parties/gatherings are not that meaningful. When one is married, there is also always the issue of which family you spend Christmas with. Most people would prefer to spend Christmas with people they know/close with than with in-laws.

Families ARE very difficult at times. No doubt about it. But they are a part of you as well whether you like them or not.
Where incarceration does allow for you limiting your time with them without a guilty conscience....they are part of the package.

Rumor has it that there exists a non-disfunctional family in Oklahoma or Kansas somewhere....but I still think it's just a false rumor.

And where limiting your time with family is ALWAYS a good idea....it is an exercise of long-suffering and biting your tongue by those who know how to bring out the worst in you.

But....it's not just one day....it's the entire holiday season that I'm referring to. The parties and gift exchanges and etc.

 

[Kireina]

It is worth it 😊

 

[Lynx]

Rumor has it that there exists a non-disfunctional family in Oklahoma or Kansas somewhere....but I still think it's just a false rumor.

Rumor has shifted the location, but the rumor is true! It's down in Southwest Tennessee.

If you don't believe me, drop in on a family dinner sometime.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

1 Corinthians 7:

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

This passage is not talking about getting married versus not [ever] getting married; rather, it is talking about a man who "cannot wait" until the end of what we today call the engagement [period].

It is based on Jewish custom - where there is a fixed culturally-mandated "wait period" before marriage. (betrothal)

In essence, it is saying (in modern-day terms):

"If you just can't wait until the end of your engagement - until the day you are to be married - go ahead and do what you have to do (i.e. - have sex) - and, be/get married [at that time] (abrupt end of engagement). However, he that has the self-control to wait has done better than he that cannot wait."

'behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin' = "cannot keep his sexual urges in check so that it interferes with the rest of the relationship"

'keep his virgin' = "retain his wife-to-be during the engagement as being like a gift to be opened on his wedding day" (looking forward to it)

I believe I’m incapable of marriage due to a thought disorder. i’m incapable of taking care of myself, let alone someone else. -Sean