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CarriePie said:
I should. Even if it doesn't go anywhere. At least I did it.
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It took me 9 years of psychiatry treatment and a year of therapy on top of that to be able to write a cohesive testimony but I was able to write it on this website. Even the dark stuff but two dark things that I did leave out is being molested by a man on two separate occasions. Once when I was 19 and once when I was 21. I probably should have wrote it in there for anyone that has happened to, just so I can tell them how it is possible to find Jesus after something like that has happened.
 
You've came a long ways. And the occurrences of your past do not define you today!

~~~~~~~

I'm going to share some pizza with the critters tonight.
 
CarriePie said:
You've came a long ways. And the occurrences of your past do not define you today!

~~~~~~~

I'm going to share some pizza with the critters tonight.
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It used to really affect me up until I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. Even having a past of being super promiscuous with women, there is nothing that really haunts you like waking up from a black out while a guy is going down on you.

For years, there were moments that I thought I could be gay but my hyper sex drive towards women convinced me that there was no way. Then once I accepted Jesus and got a smartphone, it’s like I was chemically castrated…up until just a few months ago but I think my drive only went up cause I stopped watching porn and stopped masturbating all together. So now, I enjoy conversations more and playful flirting.

i’m sure they would love that! If we love pizza, critters love pizza.
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
It used to really affect me up until I accepted Jesus as my lord and savior. Even having a past of being super promiscuous with women, there is nothing that really haunts you like waking up from a black out while a guy is going down on you.

For years, there were moments that I thought I could be gay but my hyper sex drive towards women convinced me that there was no way. Then once I accepted Jesus and got a smartphone, it’s like I was chemically castrated…up until just a few months ago but I think my drive only went up cause I stopped watching porn and stopped masturbating all together. So now, I enjoy conversations more and playful flirting.

i’m sure they would love that! If we love pizza, critters love pizza.
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I can certainly see where that would be haunting and traumatizing!

My first memory is of a traumatizing incident. Trauma is no joke.

*gentle, comforting hugs*

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They certainly love pizza. They'll be having a party.
 
CarriePie said:
I can certainly see where that would be haunting and traumatizing!

My first memory is of a traumatizing incident. Trauma is no joke.

*gentle, comforting hugs*

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They certainly love pizza. They'll be having a party.
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For like 6 years I didn’t even think about it when I accepted Jesu. Then in 2020, after visiting Mensa’s Las Vegas president for a week (they literally grew marijuana in their house), I ended up giving in cause I took a plane ride by myself their that they paid for, they paid for all of my food and even gave me an allowance for the week. I ruined my witness by smoking almost the whole time I was there. Then when I got back home, there was an edible that was in the fridge that was my mom’s, that must have been in there for a year or longer. My dumb*ss eats the whole thing and this is right before Covid. So I think that I have Covid cause I have trouble breathing. I call my friend Josh and while I’m talking to him, it is super comforting and I’m thinking in my head “am I gay?” Then I go into the bathroom to take a bath and try and find razor blade to kill myself but that was the last time that I thought I was gay and it was brought on by that edible.

They need party hats and those annoying curled up birthday blow horns.
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
For like 6 years I didn’t even think about it when I accepted Jesu. Then in 2020, after visiting Mensa’s Las Vegas president for a week (they literally grew marijuana in their house), I ended up giving in cause I took a plane ride by myself their that they paid for, they paid for all of my food and even gave me an allowance for the week. I ruined my witness by smoking almost the whole time I was there. Then when I got back home, there was an edible that was in the fridge that was my mom’s, that must have been in there for a year or longer. My dumb*ss eats the whole thing and this is right before Covid. So I think that I have Covid cause I have trouble breathing. I call my friend Josh and while I’m talking to him, it is super comforting and I’m thinking in my head “am I gay?” Then I go into the bathroom to take a bath and try and find razor blade to kill myself but that was the last time that I thought I was gay and it was brought on by that edible.

They need party hats and those annoying curled up birthday blow horns.
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You've certainly had a lot of experiences to have lived and learned by. I'm glad you are on a good path now.

I feel like I'm more private with my experiences. I've just always been closed off in that regard.

----

So, whenever I slice into the cherry pie, should I post a pic?
 
CarriePie said:
You've certainly had a lot of experiences to have lived and learned by. I'm glad you are on a good path now.

I feel like I'm more private with my experiences. I've just always been closed off in that regard.

----

So, whenever I slice into the cherry pie, should I post a pic?
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I have no problem sharing my experiences because it’s how I lead others who have had those experiences in the work place discover that even they can have a relationship with Jesus if they repent from their sins.

Yes, all desserts!
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
I have no problem sharing my experiences because it’s how I lead others who have had those experiences in the work place discover that even they can have a relationship with Jesus if they repent from their sins.

Yes, all desserts!
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No one on this Earth currently knows most of my bad stories. And they probably never will. I guess in my case, I just don't want to be defined by those times of my life. And it can be hard to talk about. Another thing, I told you 2 stories and it bothered you...so, I don't want to bother you/sadden you!
 
CarriePie said:
You've certainly had a lot of experiences to have lived and learned by. I'm glad you are on a good path now.

I feel like I'm more private with my experiences. I've just always been closed off in that regard.

----

So, whenever I slice into the cherry pie, should I post a pic?
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Most Christians are more private with their experiences but I also think that is how some hidden sins aren’t brought to the light to clear out the darkness. When you open up to other Christians, they give you strategies to on how to prevent yourself from giving into certain sins or addictions.
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
Most Christians are more private with their experiences but I also think that is how some hidden sins aren’t brought to the light to clear out the darkness. When you open up to other Christians, they give you strategies to on how to prevent yourself from giving into certain sins or addictions.
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I think that can be helpful to some Christians. I think some, like me, are better dealing with it in more quiet ways. Everyone is different.
 
CarriePie said:
No one on this Earth currently knows most of my bad stories. And they probably never will. I guess in my case, I just don't want to be defined by those times of my life. And it can be hard to talk about. Another thing, I told you 2 stories and it bothered you...so, I don't want to bother you/sadden you!
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I wish I could endure your stories but they are so painful when I put myself into your shoes, that even I can’t handle it. That is how traumatizing I think they are. I imagine myself as a little girl witnessing those moments. And then I imagine growing up and how it effected every decision you ever made.
 
CarriePie said:
I think that can be helpful to some Christians. I think some, like me, are better dealing with it in more quiet ways. Everyone is different.
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It’s literally 7am here already. Time literally flew tonight. I felt like we were just getting started.
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
I wish I could endure your stories but they are so painful when I put myself into your shoes, that even I can’t handle it. That is how traumatizing I think they are. I imagine myself as a little girl witnessing those moments. And then I imagine growing up and how it effected every decision you ever made.
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Thank you for caring! I'd share my gummies with you if I could...
 
CarriePie said:
Thank you for caring! I'd share my gummies with you if I could...
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I can’t help but care for you. You are like my best friend at the moment. A best friend that I sometimes flirt with. You support me in ways just by being you and the words you write.

I don’t think I can have gummies right now if I tried. I do want another prepeeled mandarin though!
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
I can’t help but care for you. You are like my best friend at the moment. A best friend that I sometimes flirt with. You support me in ways just by being you and the words you write.

I don’t think I can have gummies right now if I tried. I do want another prepeeled mandarin though!
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I still think you purposely included your knee in your pic!

And probably that pic you posted of yourself yesterday too.

I see you ;) lol
 
CarriePie said:
I still think you purposely included your knee in your pic!

And probably that pic you posted of yourself yesterday too.

I see you ;) lol
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in the middle of taking the picture, I thought, “my knee is in the picture.” but instead of really caring about, I can show how just unprofessional I am at the moment. Then after I took the picture, I thought, “maybe Carrie will notice this, or maybe she won’t mention it at all.” So I posted it anyway. A guys eating chicken nuggets and Oreo wannabes for dinner…how low can life be at the moment for this guy?

And I posted the picture of myself cause I thought I would get some kind of attention, and fortunately, I got a winner icon as an emoji. So my life went from doing Christs work to eligible bachelor overnight. I do enjoy it but at the same time, doing Christs work is way more fulfilling but the love and comfort that I get from you is around equally rewarding.
 
CarriePie said:
I still think you purposely included your knee in your pic!

And probably that pic you posted of yourself yesterday too.

I see you ;) lol
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is this our new sleep schedule? Lol I think we are nuts sometimes. Like how did life get this way? I felt like everything was so structured years ago. Where is a shepherd when you need one?
 
CarriePie said:
I still think you purposely included your knee in your pic!

And probably that pic you posted of yourself yesterday too.

I see you ;) lol
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I am imagining you typing with your eye lashes, based on how fast these conversation are going lol I think you may need sleep or just having fun with the critters and I’m acting like I’m impatient.
 
ForgiveMeGod said:
in the middle of taking the picture, I thought, “my knee is in the picture.” but instead of really caring about, I can show how just unprofessional I am at the moment. Then after I took the picture, I thought, “maybe Carrie will notice this, or maybe she won’t mention it at all.” So I posted it anyway. A guys eating chicken nuggets and Oreo wannabes for dinner…how low can life be at the moment for this guy?
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Is that what you were eating? Didn't even notice lol.

ForgiveMeGod said:
And I posted the picture of myself cause I thought I would get some kind of attention, and fortunately, I got a winner icon as an emoji. So my life went from doing Christs work to eligible bachelor overnight. I do enjoy it but at the same time, doing Christs work is way more fulfilling but the love and comfort that I get from you is around equally rewarding.
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You are much more than a handsome man! It's nice to see you though. Even just your knee lol

Thank you for your warm and touching words <3


ForgiveMeGod said:
is this our new sleep schedule? Lol I think we are nuts sometimes. Like how did life get this way? I felt like everything was so structured years ago. Where is a shepherd when you need one?
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I was getting ready to say that I think I'm going to call it a night...or day. I'm getting sleepy.
I hope to have some nice dreams ;)
It's been nice spending the night with you...even the difficult moments.
I hope your sleep is bliss!!
 
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