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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,458
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#21
I've gotten to be pretty independent, so if the guy said, "I really need a few nights to myself to unwind and work on my interests," I honestly wouldn't mind.

In the past, I would have been rather clingy and needy, but fortunately, God seems to have broken me away from a lot of that.

However, if it got to the point where I always felt like I had to "schedule an appointment" just to spend time with him or if I was turning to my other friends first about something I was going through because he was too busy, it would probably be time for me to rethink the relationship.
I remember this one book I read where two characters were highborn siblings, children of a very busy diplomat.

"Y'know sometimes I wonder how we were born. Or conceived at any rate. Do you think Dad scheduled mom in? 'I can fit you in on Tuesday between 2:00 and 2:15 p.m. bring sheets and pillows.'"
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,458
9,431
113
#22
At my age, hopefully fossils.

What's a good first gift?
Always go for a good quality chocolate, something a bit better than what you can buy at Walmart. First try to find out, without being too obvious, whether she likes milk or dark chocolate.

What's the weirdest thing you can see your date eat, and not leave the restaurant immediately?
 

Talljake

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
2,293
1,244
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#23
Always game for trying new foods but if she eats a moving squid tentacle ......... I'm out. Hands down out the door.

What if your date was a shoulder slapper, would you be out? I mean like when they go to tell you something and they do that nudge to get your attention but they always do it even if you're already paying attention.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
19,379
6,671
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62
#24
Always game for trying new foods but if she eats a moving squid tentacle ......... I'm out. Hands down out the door.

What if your date was a shoulder slapper, would you be out? I mean like when they go to tell you something and they do that nudge to get your attention but they always do it even if you're already paying attention.
Your mom obviously taught you not to play with your food. Perhaps she didn't have many friends growing up.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,589
5,510
113
#25
What if your date was a shoulder slapper, would you be out? I mean like when they go to tell you something and they do that nudge to get your attention but they always do it even if you're already paying attention.
How hard of a shoulder slapper are we talking here?

I mean, if every date is sending me to a chiropractor, I'm definitely out!

What do you get as a gift for someone (via Lynx's suggestion) if they're allergic to chocolate, don't like it, or can't have caffeine?
 

Talljake

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
2,293
1,244
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#27
How hard of a shoulder slapper are we talking here?

I mean, if every date is sending me to a chiropractor, I'm definitely out!

What do you get as a gift for someone (via Lynx's suggestion) if they're allergic to chocolate, don't like it, or can't have caffeine?
Enough to get your attention.

A stuffed animal or let them pick out a little trinket/souvenir.

Who's paying the food bill ? (I already have my choice but let's see what you have)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,589
5,510
113
#28
Enough to get your attention.

A stuffed animal or let them pick out a little trinket/souvenir.

Who's paying the food bill ? (I already have my choice but let's see what you have)
I know this will probably get some pushback but if I go out with a guy and a lot of his conversation is about how much women have used him for money, I'll pay the bill.

I don't know if it will help him see that not all women the same, but at least for my own conscience, he won't be able to write me off as being "just like all the others." But I also don't go out with him again either, because I don't want to feel like I have to prove anything to anyone.

If he's a really nice guy and I really enjoy his company, I'll offer to pay the bill. After all, nice guys deserve to be treated well.

But no matter how a date goes, I always offer to pay for my own way because I don't want to be a burden, and I don't want any man to ever be able to say I used him for a free meal.

Who should be the one to ask for the second date?
 

Talljake

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
2,293
1,244
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#29
Kinda both. I think it's more of who's putting it on the table. Ultimately the man but there's is nothing wrong with the woman asking either.

Is it rude to say I'm not feeling this right out of the gate or should you be patient and wait until the date is over to speak how you feel?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,458
9,431
113
#30
It may not be prudent to bail at the start of a first date. Rude is in the eye of the beholder to some extent. But if you bail out before the date even fairly has a chance, you may miss out on the love of your life because of a wrong first impression. If nothing else, count it as a learning experience.


What kind of allergies would make you consider not having a second date? Peanut allergy? Gluten intolerance? How much is too much to take?
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,126
10,687
113
#31
It may not be prudent to bail at the start of a first date. Rude is in the eye of the beholder to some extent. But if you bail out before the date even fairly has a chance, you may miss out on the love of your life because of a wrong first impression. If nothing else, count it as a learning experience.


What kind of allergies would make you consider not having a second date? Peanut allergy? Gluten intolerance? How much is too much to take?
I would have to pray with him and cast it out🙏👍 and hopefully he's up for that, lol, (really).

What ride won't you go on if you both were at a carnival/theme park and the date wanted to?
 
Nov 11, 2024
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#33
Enough to get your attention.

A stuffed animal or let them pick out a little trinket/souvenir.

Who's paying the food bill ? (I already have my choice but let's see what you have)
i was raised to pay for every meal. The only time a girlfriend helped pay for a meal, is if she volunteered a gift card that she got for Christmas or her birthday, that her friends and family gifted her, so we can share a free date night together. I don’t believe in 50/50 marriages, even in today’s age. The family that raised me, the father was a pastor, owned a carpet cleaning business, wrote books, made feature films and is a real estate broker. His wife, my God mother, is a house wife. He gives her an allowance to buy groceries, gas and gifts for her friends. She spends her time reading the Bible, going to church events, spending time with her friends and going on date nights with him every week. My life has been modeled after theirs.

Men: if you are thinking of proposing to your girlfriend, how much do you spend on the ring?

Women: when you receive your wedding ring, what kind of metal would you want the band? How many diamonds would you want protruding out the top? Would you want diamonds around the perimeter of the band? And how many carats are we talking?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,589
5,510
113
#34
I would have to pray with him and cast it out🙏👍 and hopefully he's up for that, lol, (really). What ride won't you go on if you both were at a carnival/theme park and the date wanted to?
I love the tallest, fastest, scariest coasters.


1732668243158.jpeg


But unfortunately, I have problems on rides that spin in circles too much or rely mostly on screens, like this:

1732668397339.jpeg

It's like my system needs to go big or stay home. If it's going to go on a big thrilling ride, it needs the G-factor, speed and real wind that come with it. If you try to trick my brain by sitting it in a seat that tries to mimic motion while running dazzling movie effects in front of my eyes, I pretty much turn into a very sick lab rat. :(

BUT, I hate missing out, so I will take motion sickness and attempt going on the ride anyway, then close my eyes the whole time just to be able to hear the ride's story!


What are your favorite snacks to get at an amusement park or county fair?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,589
5,510
113
#35
Men: if you are thinking of proposing to your girlfriend, how much do you spend on the ring? Women: when you receive your wedding ring, what kind of metal would you want the band? How many diamonds would you want protruding out the top? Would you want diamonds around the perimeter of the band? And how many carats are we talking?
These are great questions, I hope others come along and answer this as well. Many of these questions could be expanded into their own threads in the future...

When I got married, my engagement ring was a $100 cubic zirconia and I loved it. It sparkled in the light and was beautiful, and that's all I wanted from a piece of jewelry. I'm glad not much was spent on it because the marriage obviously didn't work out.

Makes me wonder what kind of ring he bought for wife after me, but I know I shouldn't think about things like that.

I'm older now and if I met someone, I'd go with whatever we liked and seemed reasonable. I also don't think it's fair that I get something and he doesn't, so I'd want to make sure he had an equal amount of money to spend on something he liked.


Should the man be expected to pick out the ring by himself, or should a couple go shopping for an engagement ring together?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,458
9,431
113
#36
These are great questions, I hope others come along and answer this as well. Many of these questions could be expanded into their own threads in the future...
What do you mean could be expanded? Every single one of these questions has had lots of threads about it.

Watching this thread has been surreal for me. It's like watching my Forum life flash before my eyes. Is this what happens right before the server crashes?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,589
5,510
113
#37
What do you mean could be expanded? Every single one of these questions has had lots of threads about it. Watching this thread has been surreal for me. It's like watching my Forum life flash before my eyes. Is this what happens right before the server crashes?
For those of us who have been on forums like this or on this site for several years (what are we doing with our lives, right?! Lol!) -- sure, we've seen hundreds, if not thousands of threads and posts about these subject.

But for every new wave of users that comes through, it becomes an opportunity for a new (albeit repeated) conversation because of so many new voices. And the subject might be new for them, because maybe they've never had a chance to discuss it before, or in this kind of setting.

After 15 years of writing threads on this forum almost nonstop, I'd say 90% of my threads are recycled discussions tailored to "modern (current) audiences."
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,458
9,431
113
#38
For those of us who have been on forums like this or on this site for several years (what are we doing with our lives, right?! Lol!) -- sure, we've seen hundreds, if not thousands of threads and posts about these subject.

But for every new wave of users that comes through, it becomes an opportunity for a new (albeit repeated) conversation because of so many new voices. And the subject might be new for them, because maybe they've never had a chance to discuss it before, or in this kind of setting.

After 15 years of writing threads on this forum almost nonstop, I'd say 90% of my threads are recycled discussions tailored to "modern (current) audiences."
Well I never said it was a BAD thing...

This has been a fun trip so far.
 

Talljake

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
2,293
1,244
113
36
#39
These are great questions, I hope others come along and answer this as well. Many of these questions could be expanded into their own threads in the future...

When I got married, my engagement ring was a $100 cubic zirconia and I loved it. It sparkled in the light and was beautiful, and that's all I wanted from a piece of jewelry. I'm glad not much was spent on it because the marriage obviously didn't work out.

Makes me wonder what kind of ring he bought for wife after me, but I know I shouldn't think about things like that.

I'm older now and if I met someone, I'd go with whatever we liked and seemed reasonable. I also don't think it's fair that I get something and he doesn't, so I'd want to make sure he had an equal amount of money to spend on something he liked.


Should the man be expected to pick out the ring by himself, or should a couple go shopping for an engagement ring together?
I once got engaged before rededicating my life to the lord. I had given her a set amount that I had saved, and told her if she was going to be the one wearing it that she should have say in it. Does that mean was wrong.....no....was i right.....no. that's how I personally saw it. Hopefully that is an answer lol.


Would you be willing to go on a second date with someone who had a habit you didn't like. Example: always tapping, cracking knuckles, biting nails, stuff like that. Not including drugs , alcohol, you know something of that situation.
 
Nov 11, 2024
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#40
i’ve eaten octopus and squid many times. Sometimes I would even bring bags of squid to eat in high school
i grew up going to sushi bars. Also, a lot of my family was born raised in Hawaii, so I’ve pretty much tried every Asian food item, snack and drink you can think of. To this day, we have white rice with every meal…no, we don’t take our shoes off at the door…