To whom should the childless leave their wealth?

[MsMediator]

To whom should the childless (both married and single) leave their wealth? I like to hear retirement ideas and stories, particularly from older singles. I have heard a variety of opinions regarding to whom they should pass their wealth, however modest. One has a deep distrust of charities, so he will only leave money to family. One says you can leave your wealth to anyone, no obligations whatsoever (my opinion as well). Another is determined that no one should get wealthy from her passing, so she will give to a majority to charity. Yet, another says it is better to spend all your money while alive (including charity) so no one fights over it after. Thoughts? There are other scenarios as well. What if a childless person marries someone with kids?

 

[seoulsearch]

To whom should the childless (both married and single) leave their wealth? I like to hear retirement ideas and stories, particularly from older singles. I have heard a variety of opinions regarding to whom they should pass their wealth, however modest. One has a deep distrust of charities, so he will only leave money to family. One says you can leave your wealth to anyone, no obligations whatsoever (my opinion as well). Another is determined that no one should get wealthy from her passing, so she will give to a majority to charity. Yet, another says it is better to spend all your money while alive (including charity) so no one fights over it after. Thoughts? There are other scenarios as well. What if a childless person marries someone with kids?

Hi Ms. Mediator,

Excellent topic as always.

I can only speak for myself and my own plans. I'm past the point of wanting children of my own, and single with no kids.

I know the Christian community is generally completely against prenups but I think one has to keep an open mind as they get older. I have seen some of the most Christian of families (as in, a family of several pastors) torn to shreds over an inheritance (it was supposed to be divided, but the elderly couple was tricked into signing papers without reading them, and so one family member swooped in and took everything.)

I've also heard stories such as a woman with an adult disabled son who would need care for the rest of his life. She insisted on a prenup when she got married, because she wanted to make sure her son would always be taken care of. Her new husband had adult children as well, and she knew that if she passed, they would do whatever they could to try to inherit whatever money she came into the marriage with, leaving her own son with no means of survival.

If I married, I would do the same thing -- sign a prenup once we decided how our finances were to be allocated. For instance, if my parents were still alive and needed care after my passing, I would make sure something was set up to go to them. I have other friends and family members for whom I would set aside gifts. After that, we'd have to talk about who got what in regards to his family.

My friends and family have been my support system for so long, I would most certainly want them to receive something, if applicable or available, after my death.

Although my husband would mean everything to me, I will not turn my back on those who have been with me up all this time, especially when some have been with me for a literal lifetime (including a childhood friend I met when I was 5.)

My other purpose in signing a prenup would be to protect HIM. I've heard far too many stories from men who have been cleaned out by a woman, and I don't want to be one of them. I want him to also be able to allocate his assets as he wants, as I would assume he too would have them designated towards his family and friends.

Admittedly, it would likely be a lot of work figuring out how we could fairly make sure whichever of us was left behind was taken care of while also helping those who are most important to us.

If I should die without marrying, I have instructions set in place as to what is to be done should I be able to leave anything of value.

Family, friends, churches and schools where I received the most instruction, along with the adoption agency where my story began are all on the list, even if if it's only to give them $10 each.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

My answer will be unusual, but it is based upon true life situations within my own family which have already transpired.

My mother and my uncle both named my oldest sister as executor of their wills. Without exaggeration, that was like leaving a fox in charge of the hen house. In both instances, my sister, with help from other family members, literally helped to facilitate their deaths in order that she/they might get more money for themselves when my mother and uncle died. I wish that I was either making this up or exaggerating about it, but I am not.

As far as I am concerned, my own siblings murdered my mother, and my uncle, while he was yet alive, knew that they were basically seeking to kill him as well. I know because he told me as much himself, although not in those exact words. My siblings are horrible. So horrible that I literally would have a hard time even calling them human beings, and I honestly would feel bad comparing them to animals because it would be an insult to the animal kingdom. They are cold, steely, heartless monsters, and that is one of the reasons why they and I have not spoken to each other for years.

If you do plan on leaving behind any sort of inheritance to anybody, then make sure that the person you are leaving in charge after your passing truly is trustworthy. That is all that I have to say.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

Ecc 2:18
Yea, I hated all my labour which I had taken under the sun: because I should leave it unto the man that shall be after me.
Ecc 2:19
And who knoweth whether he shall be a wise man or a fool? yet shall he have rule over all my labour wherein I have laboured, and wherein I have shewed myself wise under the sun. This is also vanity.
Ecc 2:20
Therefore I went about to cause my heart to despair of all the labour which I took under the sun.
Ecc 2:21
For there is a man whose labour is in wisdom, and in knowledge, and in equity; yet to a man that hath not laboured therein shall he leave it for his portion. This also is vanity and a great evil.

 

[seoulsearch]

@keepingthingsreal, I am very sorry for all you've been through. I can't imagine how that must feel and I will be praying for you.


My own family has been a bit different.

My parents have often mentioned the passages:

2 Corinthians 12:14 -- "And I will not be a burden to you, for I seek not what is yours, but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children."

Proverbs 13:22 - "A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children."

My parents took these teachings seriously, always working hard and saying they never wanted to be a burden to us, while teaching us to be self-sufficient so that we would hopefully do the same for our own kids (if we had them.)

Even as someone who is single and childless, I still value this teaching because it was important to my parents.

Though I have no children, I hope to honor them by having something to pass on to help others as they build lives of faith in God.

 

[keepingthingsreal]

@keepingthingsreal, I am very sorry for all you've been through. I can't imagine how that must feel and I will be praying for you.


My own family has been a bit different.

My parents have often mentioned the passages:

2 Corinthians 12:14 -- "And I will not be a burden to you, for I seek not what is yours, but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children."

Proverbs 13:22 - "A good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children."

My parents took these teachings seriously, always working hard and saying they never wanted to be a burden to us, while teaching us to be self-sufficient so that we would hopefully do the same for our own kids (if we had them.)

Even as someone who is single and childless, I still value this teaching because it was important to my parents.

Though I have no children, I hope to honor them by having something to pass on to help others as they build lives of faith in God.

I agree with the passages you cited, and I am very familiar with them. In my post, I was simply seeking to encourage people to be sure that those they are entrusting the oversight of their wills to are trustworthy. I only shared a bit of my own horror story, but I know people who have experienced the same things with their own family members as well. It is scary how so many people value money over human beings, and especially over their own family members.

In his epistle to the Romans, Paul mentioned those who are without natural affection (Rom. 1:31), and I have often wondered if that applies to people like my own siblings. In my life, I truly have seen animals which are more affectionate to their own than my own siblings are, and that is part of the reason why I honestly would not feel comfortable comparing my own family members to animals. Again, it would be an insult to animals in my estimation, and I am not joking. Perhaps some of you have been more fortunate than me, and I sincerely hope that you all have been, but I know some totally evil people, and many of them are my own blood relatives.

 

[MsMediator]

My answer will be unusual, but it is based upon true life situations within my own family which have already transpired.

My mother and my uncle both named my oldest sister as executor of their wills. Without exaggeration, that was like leaving a fox in charge of the hen house. In both instances, my sister, with help from other family members, literally helped to facilitate their deaths in order that she/they might get more money for themselves when my mother and uncle died. I wish that I was either making this up or exaggerating about it, but I am not.

As far as I am concerned, my own siblings murdered my mother, and my uncle, while he was yet alive, knew that they were basically seeking to kill him as well. I know because he told me as much himself, although not in those exact words. My siblings are horrible. So horrible that I literally would have a hard time even calling them human beings, and I honestly would feel bad comparing them to animals because it would be an insult to the animal kingdom. They are cold, steely, heartless monsters, and that is one of the reasons why they and I have not spoken to each other for years.

If you do plan on leaving behind any sort of inheritance to anybody, then make sure that the person you are leaving in charge after your passing truly is trustworthy. That is all that I have to say.

This is so sad. Per her lawyer's advice, my friend selected her best friend to make health care decisions and her son as her beneficiary. The beneficiary should not be in charge of making health decisions.

 

[seoulsearch]

This is so sad. Per her lawyer's advice, my friend selected her best friend to make health care decisions and her son as her beneficiary. The beneficiary should not be in charge of making health decisions.

Very interesting.

I wonder how many people think of this. I can definitely see that this would be a really smart move.

Thank you for posting this very useful advice.

 

[Westward]

I'll take it! 😜

 

[Magenta]

I'll take it! 😜

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

To whom should the childless (both married and single) leave their wealth? I like to hear retirement ideas and stories, particularly from older singles. I have heard a variety of opinions regarding to whom they should pass their wealth, however modest. One has a deep distrust of charities, so he will only leave money to family. One says you can leave your wealth to anyone, no obligations whatsoever (my opinion as well). Another is determined that no one should get wealthy from her passing, so she will give to a majority to charity. Yet, another says it is better to spend all your money while alive (including charity) so no one fights over it after. Thoughts? There are other scenarios as well. What if a childless person marries someone with kids?

I'm unmarried and have no children.
I have been told that I might wake up dead by health care people.
The thing I want to do as I recover is to set aside enough to take care of future expenses. My desire/ plan is that the majority of what's over that go into bringing more into God's family.
I want to lead as many to Christ as possible. I want to travel to churches and encourage them to get active with a soul winning program as I travel to preach at all the nursing/ assisted living homes, etc... I've done that in local counties and one on one. That will multiply with the Lord's help.

We need to reach the lost everywhere we go, but especially the old, poor and handicapped. They are the forgotten ones. Someone needs to love them and get them saved before it's too late. I have a plan to get there, but need grace right now.

 

[Magenta]

I know the Christian community is generally completely against prenups

I don't know why... but I am thinking not of a first marriage, so perhaps that makes a big
difference. My own dad passed before he was 60, and my mom remarried at 70, with a pre-nup
so that her children and grandchildren (more than 2 dozen all told) would inherit what was hers
and his children would inherit what was his. While together they split the cost of everything between
them, and they traveled a lot, which was nice for my mom, and him too, I suppose (I never knew him well).
Perhaps I should add that my mother started dispersing her assets well before she passed away...

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

This is so sad. Per her lawyer's advice, my friend selected her best friend to make health care decisions and her son as her beneficiary. The beneficiary should not be in charge of making health decisions.

One Dr I studied said to never get health insurance or life insurance.
She proved many ways that you are likely to.live longer.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

My answer will be unusual, but it is based upon true life situations within my own family which have already transpired.

My mother and my uncle both named my oldest sister as executor of their wills. Without exaggeration, that was like leaving a fox in charge of the hen house. In both instances, my sister, with help from other family members, literally helped to facilitate their deaths in order that she/they might get more money for themselves when my mother and uncle died. I wish that I was either making this up or exaggerating about it, but I am not.

As far as I am concerned, my own siblings murdered my mother, and my uncle, while he was yet alive, knew that they were basically seeking to kill him as well. I know because he told me as much himself, although not in those exact words. My siblings are horrible. So horrible that I literally would have a hard time even calling them human beings, and I honestly would feel bad comparing them to animals because it would be an insult to the animal kingdom. They are cold, steely, heartless monsters, and that is one of the reasons why they and I have not spoken to each other for years.

If you do plan on leaving behind any sort of inheritance to anybody, then make sure that the person you are leaving in charge after your passing truly is trustworthy. That is all that I have to say.

I know what you mean.
Our Father warned us about those people you described.

9Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers....
I Timothy 1

There are sadly a lot of malevolent reprobates in the world.
A cousin who was a physician starved an uncle who left a fortune to him. Recently, my own Mom was killed by the agreement between her other son and her wicked Dr. Her other son's dad, second husband, tried to kill me when Mom was married to him. He tried to blow my head off with a shotgun.
Like father/ like son in their case.

Mom's death nearly killed me too, but I'm determined to regain strength again and get back to hard work for the LORD'S family.
Many will live by the Lord .
He wants to use us to invite others into our family through faith in the Savior.

 

[MsMediator]

My friends and family have been my support system for so long, I would most certainly want them to receive something, if applicable or available, after my death.

I could see myself helping a needy friend or family who is in financial trouble due to unforseen circumstances. However, personally I would prefer to give to a charity than a friend or family who is already financially pretty comfortable. I wouldn't want to just grow someone else's nest egg when the money could be used for better purposes.

 

[Lynx]

Observation: None of it is my money.

Observation: None of it is coming to me.

Conclusion: It ain't my business.

 

[Lynx]

Bonus observation: Whatever you have, it won't be worth as much when you die. Inflation keeps on creeping on. So if there is anything left when I die, I'm not going to worry too much about who gets it.

 

[Adstar]

To whom should the childless (both married and single) leave their wealth? I like to hear retirement ideas and stories, particularly from older singles. I have heard a variety of opinions regarding to whom they should pass their wealth, however modest. One has a deep distrust of charities, so he will only leave money to family. One says you can leave your wealth to anyone, no obligations whatsoever (my opinion as well). Another is determined that no one should get wealthy from her passing, so she will give to a majority to charity. Yet, another says it is better to spend all your money while alive (including charity) so no one fights over it after. Thoughts? There are other scenarios as well. What if a childless person marries someone with kids?

To Brothers and Sisters in Christ who are in need..

 

[Lynx]

To Brothers and Sisters in Christ who are in need..

Got anybody specific in mind?

 

[hornetguy]

Well, in reality, everything that we have is from God... He simply entrusts us with it (the good/bad steward?)
My first choice would be to leave it to the church I am part of.
If you don't trust them to be good stewards of it, perhaps you shouldn't be a member of it in the first place?