Resorting to bad dad jokes.. Good thing I'll be going back to work tomorrow... 
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can you guys post something funny please?
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Oh, that's good - bad - good - bad - good - bad - both!
So, there's this missionary and he's got a pretty bad stutter. Despite this, he decides he’s going to sell Bibles door-to-door because, well, faith!
Now, the church leaders aren’t too optimistic. They’re thinking, “Bless his heart, but this is going to be a disaster…”
Fast forward a month, and guess what? This guy is not just selling a “few” Bibles—he’s selling more Bibles than anyone in the entire region! The other missionaries are like, "What the heck is his secret?"
So, the head of the church finally sits him down and says, “Okay, spill it. How on earth are you selling so many Bibles?”
The missionary leans in, real serious, and says, “Well, it's simple. I knock on the door, and when they answer, I say, 'W-w-w-would you L-like to b-buy a B-B-Bible, or sh-should I s-s-sit down and r-r-read it to you c-c-c-cover to c-c-c-cover?'
Now, the church leaders aren’t too optimistic. They’re thinking, “Bless his heart, but this is going to be a disaster…”
Fast forward a month, and guess what? This guy is not just selling a “few” Bibles—he’s selling more Bibles than anyone in the entire region! The other missionaries are like, "What the heck is his secret?"
So, the head of the church finally sits him down and says, “Okay, spill it. How on earth are you selling so many Bibles?”
The missionary leans in, real serious, and says, “Well, it's simple. I knock on the door, and when they answer, I say, 'W-w-w-would you L-like to b-buy a B-B-Bible, or sh-should I s-s-sit down and r-r-read it to you c-c-c-cover to c-c-c-cover?'
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Resorting to bad dad jokes.. Good thing I'll be going back to work tomorrow...
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(Highlander rip off. I regret nothing.lol)
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Resorting to bad dad jokes.. Good thing I'll be going back to work tomorrow...
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Yes I can post something funny, my dad died in 2022, 2 days ago mail showed up for him, a letter and a christmas card. It was from fairstone they pre approved him for a loan up to $3,500.00 Must be an amazing testimony with the money lenders if they can preapprove you for a loan 2 years after you passed away.
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I got the same type loan notice after my dad died.
So to kill many birds with one stone I used their prepaid stamped envelope and filled out the application. If he was pre-approved why's he have to apply?
Anyway, at the end of the application, and I put his address as Heaven 777, I wrote a personal note in the space provided.
"Please hurry with the check. Moses has a Harley for sale at a real bargain."
Just like that Dad was taken off all those type mailing lists.
Sadly, dad had to settle for a Kawasaki because Apostle John beat him to the Harley.
Bummer dude.
Junk mail! It helps to have a sense of humor. It really confuses the mailers. lol
So to kill many birds with one stone I used their prepaid stamped envelope and filled out the application. If he was pre-approved why's he have to apply?
Anyway, at the end of the application, and I put his address as Heaven 777, I wrote a personal note in the space provided.
"Please hurry with the check. Moses has a Harley for sale at a real bargain."
Just like that Dad was taken off all those type mailing lists.
Sadly, dad had to settle for a Kawasaki because Apostle John beat him to the Harley.
Bummer dude.
Junk mail! It helps to have a sense of humor. It really confuses the mailers. lol
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This is epic!!!
Thank you so much for sharing.
I know this is a bit different but it reminds me when credit card companies were handing out pre-approved applications to everyone (I suppose they still do?), but especially college students who were racking up tons of debt and had little financial experience.
People were starting to push back, and the credit companies insisted they had strict screening measures.
To prove a point, one man set out to get his dog a credit card in her own name -- and succeeded. A nightly news segment featured the man and his dog happily shopping at the local pet store, where his dog "paid for her own purchases using her own credit card."
His next goal was to get her one of the cards that has a picture of the person (or being) that owns it right on the card.
I don't know if he was able to get that one, but it sure was a funny story that made an excellent point.
Thank you so much for sharing.
I know this is a bit different but it reminds me when credit card companies were handing out pre-approved applications to everyone (I suppose they still do?), but especially college students who were racking up tons of debt and had little financial experience.
People were starting to push back, and the credit companies insisted they had strict screening measures.
To prove a point, one man set out to get his dog a credit card in her own name -- and succeeded. A nightly news segment featured the man and his dog happily shopping at the local pet store, where his dog "paid for her own purchases using her own credit card."
His next goal was to get her one of the cards that has a picture of the person (or being) that owns it right on the card.
I don't know if he was able to get that one, but it sure was a funny story that made an excellent point.
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This makes perfect sense.
The reason I'm starving is because men are obviously -- and unfairly -- being served more cheeseburgers than I am.
Never mind that that guy is 6'5' and I'm 5' - depending on the day, I just might be able to down as many burgers as he can!
This is obviously gender inequality in action.
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I can't promise it's funny (sauce):
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
- Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.
- Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.
- Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.
- John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory. OR . . . it was an act of Christian hedonism. The chicken realized that his greatest joy would only be found on the other side.
- Irenaeus: The glory of God is the chicken fully alive.
- C.S. Lewis: If a chicken finds itself with a desire that nothing on this side can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that it was created for the other side.
- Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.
- Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.
- Universalist: All chickens cross the road.
- Martin Luther: The chicken was fleeing the Antichrist who had stolen the Gospel with his papist lies.
- Tim LaHaye: The chicken didn’t want to be left behind.
- James White: I reject chicken centered eisegesis.
- John Wesley: The chicken’s heart was strangely warmed.
- Rob Bell: The chicken. Crossed the road. To get. Cool glasses.
- Joel Osteen: The chicken crossed the road to maximize his personal fulfillment so they he could be all that God created him to be.
- Roger Olson: The chicken recognizes no clear evangelical boundries.
- Driscoll: A [bleeping] chicken crossed the road to go get a beer.
- Gary Demar: The chicken was fleeing the destruction of Jerusalem in AD 70. That’s it.
- Jim Wallis: The chicken is an organizer for Occupy Barnyard.
- Emergent: For this chicken, its not the destination that’s important. Its the journey itself.
- N.T. Wright: This act of the chicken, which would be unthinkable in British barnyards, reeks of that American individualism that is destructive to community.
- Al Mohler: When a chicken begins to think theologically, he has no other alternative but to come over to the Calvinist side of the road.
- Michael Horton: The chicken was forsaking the kingdom of this world to live solely in the Kingdom of Christ.
- John Frame: The chicken had an existential need to change its situation according to a new norm.
- T.F. Torrance: The inner logic of the incarnation proved an irresistible draw to the other side of the road.
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer: He was abandoning cheap grace for the costly discipleship of risking the dangers of crossing the road.
- Karl Barth: The crossing of the road, like all true theology, was done for profoundly Christological reasons. Because Christ came as the judge to be judged, all chickens cross the road in the end.
- Paul Tillich: Because he sensed that the other side of the road represented the ground of all being.
- New Ager: Because he saw the light beckoning him forward.
- Fundamentalist: Because his pastor told him so.
- Elevation Church: Because Pastor Furtick told him to get in the line on the other side for a spontaneous baptism.
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