How can I establish and then also keep professional relationships with coworkers?

[Benjamin3000]

Most places I've worked, there aren't really any opportunities to cover for people or assist them in their duties, or provide for them in other ways.

At the same time, none of them do something after work that lends itself to other people being involved or accept invites on your part.

Even if your invitations are a rare thing, like holiday events for example, that doesn't result in anyone attending. Even if it's a company sponsored event that's free to attend and you get a free meal.

 

[Lynx]

I find jokes useful in this. If you hear a good joke remember it and tell it to coworkers.

Also, a greeting goes a long way. I make it a point to greet people when they come in. Just so they know somebody noticed them coming in and said hi to them.

 

[Eli1]

Most places I've worked, there aren't really any opportunities to cover for people or assist them in their duties, or provide for them in other ways.

At the same time, none of them do something after work that lends itself to other people being involved or accept invites on your part.

Even if your invitations are a rare thing, like holiday events for example, that doesn't result in anyone attending. Even if it's a company sponsored event that's free to attend and you get a free meal.

Ah yes. Work. I can tell you a lot about work.
Start with these two traits first:

1. Willingness to help/work. This will let everyone know who you are.
2. Being good at what you do, as you keep doing things. This means that people will know you're dependable.

With that being said, the whole Covid thing ruined a lot of events that you're talking about. So now it's even more difficult to have a longer relationship with your coworkers since most of them aren't in the office.
But maybe thanks to Trump, this will change.
I doubt we can go back to how things were though with big holiday parties or having a get together with coworkers for lunch and drinks after work.

 

[JohnDB]

Most places I've worked, there aren't really any opportunities to cover for people or assist them in their duties, or provide for them in other ways.

At the same time, none of them do something after work that lends itself to other people being involved or accept invites on your part.

Even if your invitations are a rare thing, like holiday events for example, that doesn't result in anyone attending. Even if it's a company sponsored event that's free to attend and you get a free meal.

You are likely part of the TM and SM generation
(Text message and Social Media)
Where most of your human interactions are accomplished by text messages and social media messages.

Gotta get a LinkedIn profile and network through that for a professional relationship and future opportunities.
Then Facebook, Instagram, whatever else they use, email, and text messaging.

Then ask for help.
People are strange, they will like you if you ask for help with something. Never needing help is associated with being a narcissist....(it's odd and outside the realm of normal logic....but people aren't logical)

Ask for hand ups instead of hand outs....
Meaning don't ask them to do things for you but guide you so you can do it yourself. Like ask for directions to a place to grab lunch...but then offer to buy their lunch if they will show you where it's at. It's a form of demonstrating your willingness to reward people for their assistance in helping. Meaning you believe in the normal give and take in relationships. (We've all had relationships that are solidly one sided and most people's fear is engaging in another)

 

[Karlon]

Most places I've worked, there aren't really any opportunities to cover for people or assist them in their duties, or provide for them in other ways.

At the same time, none of them do something after work that lends itself to other people being involved or accept invites on your part.

Even if your invitations are a rare thing, like holiday events for example, that doesn't result in anyone attending. Even if it's a company sponsored event that's free to attend and you get a free meal.

my approach is this: 1. when talking to someone, look them in the eye as long as possible. a proven fact is the longer you look at someone, the better you pay attention & listen. & this tells that person you are talking to. 2. listen like you really want to, as if you were taking a final exam. 3. NEVER INTERRUPT. 4. 5. show the person you are not selfish during a conversation. 6. compliment people when applicable. 7. make them feel the conversation is mainly, about them. 8. always wear a smile! if this doesn't work then it's the other person with the problems.

 

[Benjamin3000]

You are likely part of the TM and SM generation
(Text message and Social Media)
Where most of your human interactions are accomplished by text messages and social media messages.

Gotta get a LinkedIn profile and network through that for a professional relationship and future opportunities.
Then Facebook, Instagram, whatever else they use, email, and text messaging.

Then ask for help.
People are strange, they will like you if you ask for help with something. Never needing help is associated with being a narcissist....(it's odd and outside the realm of normal logic....but people aren't logical)

Ask for hand ups instead of hand outs....
Meaning don't ask them to do things for you but guide you so you can do it yourself. Like ask for directions to a place to grab lunch...but then offer to buy their lunch if they will show you where it's at. It's a form of demonstrating your willingness to reward people for their assistance in helping. Meaning you believe in the normal give and take in relationships. (We've all had relationships that are solidly one sided and most people's fear is engaging in another)

Unfortunately most of the people I've met at work don't use social media or LinkedIn. In the exceedingly rare "unobtanium unicorn" case of someone having an account there, they inevitably never post anything or reply to messages. (Unless you count blocking someone who simply said "hello" as a "reply" or taking down their profile altogether)

Also, usually where I've worked, people had completely independent types of duties where their own metrics would suffer if they helped you, or vice versa. And that was with hands-on kind of jobs where remote work would be impractical.

It was to the point where, if I were going to the supply closet to get myself a pen, I wasn't allowed to ask anyone if they needed anything from the supply closet - even if it were just one person on my immediate path to said closet. Everyone had to make their own trips, even if it meant more than one person had to leave their desk to get pens or paper.

 

[maxwel]

Unfortunately most of the people I've met at work don't use social media or LinkedIn. In the exceedingly rare "unobtanium unicorn" case of someone having an account there, they inevitably never post anything or reply to messages. (Unless you count blocking someone who simply said "hello" as a "reply" or taking down their profile altogether)

Also, usually where I've worked, people had completely independent types of duties where their own metrics would suffer if they helped you, or vice versa. And that was with hands-on kind of jobs where remote work would be impractical.

It was to the point where, if I were going to the supply closet to get myself a pen, I wasn't allowed to ask anyone if they needed anything from the supply closet - even if it were just one person on my immediate path to said closet. Everyone had to make their own trips, even if it meant more than one person had to leave their desk to get pens or paper.

You are not responsible for opportunities God does not allow you to have.

You should continue to reach out to people at work, that's a good thing, but if no one responds, then it isn't your problem.
If there are no doors of opportunity at work, then you should probably reach out to people elsewhere.

.

 

[JaumeJ]

Always keep in your mind and heart that once you have been given to plant the seed, if the soil is fertile it will eventually grow bearing even more fruit, to the glory of God. Keep planting.

 

[JohnDB]

Unfortunately most of the people I've met at work don't use social media or LinkedIn. In the exceedingly rare "unobtanium unicorn" case of someone having an account there, they inevitably never post anything or reply to messages. (Unless you count blocking someone who simply said "hello" as a "reply" or taking down their profile altogether)

Also, usually where I've worked, people had completely independent types of duties where their own metrics would suffer if they helped you, or vice versa. And that was with hands-on kind of jobs where remote work would be impractical.

It was to the point where, if I were going to the supply closet to get myself a pen, I wasn't allowed to ask anyone if they needed anything from the supply closet - even if it were just one person on my immediate path to said closet. Everyone had to make their own trips, even if it meant more than one person had to leave their desk to get pens or paper.

Uggghhhh....your office culture sounds toxic.
I'd be looking for another job.
Especially one that requires office attendance.

They would love it if my wife would consent to making herself present at the office....uh no!
But they really can't do the job she does. They need her more than she needs them at the moment with $30 mill on the line.

But....
As many people as she works with...only a blessed few have become "friends". And they are friends...very dear ones.
Our other friend group is different....but mostly centered on our church. Some of the guys from there, some coffee and we could solve all the world's problems.

But I'd invite guys for after work burgers and brews when I worked for a living (retarded now....er...I mean retired) few ever took me up on it and we had been working together for years.

The guys from church? If we are free we will meet anywhere at anytime. Not much else is required other than planning the place and time and an invite.

 

[Benjamin3000]

You are not responsible for opportunities God does not allow you to have.

You should continue to reach out to people at work, that's a good thing, but if no one responds, then it isn't your problem.
If there are no doors of opportunity at work, then you should probably reach out to people elsewhere.

.

I live in a relatively highly populated area, yet, it's exceedingly rare to meet people anywhere who either like their job or have a "solitary" hobby outside of work or have a social life (including a hobby group or general hangout group)

Even volunteering for a charitable cause only helps me (32M) meet grandparents bringing their grandchildren to volunteer at places, but the grandparents are always too caught up in their kids bellyaching about being "dragged" into volunteering to be able to have a conversation.

So I try to go to online spaces but people only complain, but agreeing with someone is frowned upon, in the form of silent down voting. So I can't even have fun "back-teasing" a troll but being clever and civil enough not to use rude words. Both praise of a good product (with brand names) and a rant about a bad one WITHOUT naming a brand, gets equally ignored.

 

[Benjamin3000]

What I'm looking for is some way to maintain a relationship with former coworkers after leaving a job so that I have a reference if needed.