I like to say pain is simultaneously my best and most hated tutor. Of course, it is really not really pain that taught me but rather the Holy Spirit who walked through it with me. At one time I lost everything: my marriage, my children my job. After that first wave, by the grace of God I gradually rebuilt my life and trained myself to work with Special Needs children which was my original call. Ten years later the a second, even bigger wave hit and pulled me under. I developed a mental illness. The scriptures that came to me.
All Your billows and Your waves passed over me. 4 Then I said, ‘I have been cast out of Your sight; Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’
5 The waters surrounded me, even to my soul; The deep closed around me; Weeds were wrapped around my head.
6 I went down to the [a]moorings of the mountains; The earth with its bars closed behind me forever; (Jonah 2:5-6)
When I lived in Israel I worked with a translator to learn this in the original language. The way my tutor recited accurately expressed Jonah's agony and desperation which I also felt.
Yet You have brought up my life from the pit, O Lord, my God. “When my soul fainted within me, I remembered the Lord;
"And my prayer went up to You, Into Your holy temple." (Jonah 2:7)
I had developed a mental illness which caused me to break down ending my career as a teacher. I discovered that I was no longer able to function but I had to "re-configure" my life to perform another service for the Lord. Although my brain was not initially functioning correctly I found that I was able to use my pain to understand and help others - not that I believe I have anything that others do not have but KNOWING my inability was a continual reminder to me to not trust in myself but depend on Him.
All Your billows and Your waves passed over me. 4 Then I said, ‘I have been cast out of Your sight; Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.’
5 The waters surrounded me, even to my soul; The deep closed around me; Weeds were wrapped around my head.
6 I went down to the [a]moorings of the mountains; The earth with its bars closed behind me forever; (Jonah 2:5-6)
When I lived in Israel I worked with a translator to learn this in the original language. The way my tutor recited accurately expressed Jonah's agony and desperation which I also felt.
Yet You have brought up my life from the pit, O Lord, my God. “When my soul fainted within me, I remembered the Lord;
"And my prayer went up to You, Into Your holy temple." (Jonah 2:7)
I had developed a mental illness which caused me to break down ending my career as a teacher. I discovered that I was no longer able to function but I had to "re-configure" my life to perform another service for the Lord. Although my brain was not initially functioning correctly I found that I was able to use my pain to understand and help others - not that I believe I have anything that others do not have but KNOWING my inability was a continual reminder to me to not trust in myself but depend on Him.
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