Is a lack of anger ever unrighteous? 🤔

[Snackersmom]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

 

[seoulsearch]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

The first thing that came to mind was, "The peace of God, that surpasses all understanding." (Philipians 4:7) Maybe you weren't angry because God has given you peace in that area.

I've gotten to a point on this forum where people can insult me for most anything pretty much 'til the cows come home, and depending on my mood or what's going on in my life, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to. In fact, it's usually over the same old things, so I'm more bored than anything ("Yeah yeah... I've heard that one before -- can't you come up with something new?!") I mean, if they're going to be insulting, they could at least come up with something new and much more amusing.

But if someone starts insulting my friends, it's all over -- because that's what REALLY gets my goat. I just tend to save my energy for when I see it as "really counting," which is when it involves the people I love.

Your question is especially fascinating in the context of our current culture in which "Rage Bait" -- using the harshest wording available to make people as mad as possible -- is running rampant, often because it gets clicks, and therefore, money.

People are getting paid to enrage other people as much as and as often as they can.

God knows that anger, even righteous anger, takes up a lot of energy and resources. I could be wrong, but I am interpreting your reaction (or lack thereof) as God helping you preserve your energy for things that might be more important or will require a backup reserve later on.

Having known you for a long time, I also know that you are one of the most even-keeled and fair people one could ever meet. You listen to each side carefully before even thinking about the possibility of getting angry, and that's both a gift and a skill to be greatly admired.

Shoot, if anyone was the type of person who got their kicks from trying to make someone angry -- they'd turn into a pile of bones before they got anywhere with you!! And that speaks volumes to your character.

Some people are just naturally more easy-going, and are gifted with the skill of being able to maneuver through incredibly complex situations -- WITHOUT becoming angry. I've seen you manage groups of teenagers with the skills a professional hostage negotiator would envy!!!

So maybe instead of becoming righteously angry... God is using that energy in you for going into a righteous mode of contemplation, understanding, and compromise -- rather than just being angry. You're a problem-solver and I think God re-routes what would appear as anger for others (like me!) into a peaceful plan of action instead.

So girl, you just leave turning over the tables and cracking the whips to me , and I KNOW by the time I'm done, God will have helped you come up with a plan on how to get through anything we're facing.

(Not to mention the fact that I'll be the one needing to be bailed out of jail, while you'll be home-free due to your wits and calm nature!)

 

[Daisy2]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. Psalm 119:165

 

[Snackersmom]

The first thing that came to mind was, "The peace of God, that surpasses all understanding." (Philipians 4:7) Maybe you weren't angry because God has given you peace in that area.

I've gotten to a point on this forum where people can insult me for most anything pretty much 'til the cows come home, and depending on my mood or what's going on in my life, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to. In fact, it's usually over the same old things, so I'm more bored than anything ("Yeah yeah... I've heard that one before -- can't you come up with something new?!") I mean, if they're going to be insulting, they could at least come up with something new and much more amusing.

But if someone starts insulting my friends, it's all over -- because that's what REALLY gets my goat. I just tend to save my energy for when I see it as "really counting," which is when it involves the people I love.

Your question is especially fascinating in the context of our current culture in which "Rage Bait" -- using the harshest wording available to make people as mad as possible -- is running rampant, often because it gets clicks, and therefore, money.

People are getting paid to enrage other people as much as and as often as they can.

God knows that anger, even righteous anger, takes up a lot of energy and resources. I could be wrong, but I am interpreting your reaction (or lack thereof) as God helping you preserve your energy for things that might be more important or will require a backup reserve later on.

Having known you for a long time, I also know that you are one of the most even-keeled and fair people one could ever meet. You listen to each side carefully before even thinking about the possibility of getting angry, and that's both a gift and a skill to be greatly admired.

Shoot, if anyone was the type of person who got their kicks from trying to make someone angry -- they'd turn into a pile of bones before they got anywhere with you!! And that speaks volumes to your character.

Some people are just naturally more easy-going, and are gifted with the skill of being able to maneuver through incredibly complex situations -- WITHOUT becoming angry. I've seen you manage groups of teenagers with the skills a professional hostage negotiator would envy!!!

So maybe instead of becoming righteously angry... God is using that energy in you for going into a righteous mode of contemplation, understanding, and compromise -- rather than just being angry. You're a problem-solver and I think God re-routes what would appear as anger for others (like me!) into a peaceful plan of action instead.

So girl, you just leave turning over the tables and cracking the whips to me , and I KNOW by the time I'm done, God will have helped you come up with a plan on how to get through anything we're facing.

(Not to mention the fact that I'll be the one needing to be bailed out of jail, while you'll be home-free due to your wits and calm nature!)

Lol ok, you distract 'em while I confuse 'em, together we will conquer the internets! 🤠

Seriously, maybe you're right. Still, in hindsight I felt like I came across as too conciliatory. When I saw the person go on to attack others who were legit bothered, I did get angry then. But at that point responding wasn't really an option. But if I'm being calm and even somewhat nice to someone who has hurt others, how would that make their victims feel? Disregarded, probably ☹😔.

Also, my own personal character was attacked, and since that ties to our witness it's probably worth defending, right? But I didn't even do that much.... 🙁

Idk, I get what you are saying but surely there's a point where I ought to stop psychoanalyzing and throw a verbal punch or two 😂.

 

[Snackersmom]

Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them. Psalm 119:165

Great verse to ponder, miss Daisy!

I appreciate you! 🤗

 

[seoulsearch]

Seriously, maybe you're right. Still, in hindsight I felt like I came across as too conciliatory. When I saw the person go on to attack others who were legit bothered, I did get angry then. But at that point responding wasn't really an option. But if I'm being calm and even somewhat nice to someone who has hurt others, how would that make their victims feel? Disregarded, probably ☹😔.

Also, my own personal character was attacked, and since that ties to our witness it's probably worth defending, right? But I didn't even do that much.... 🙁

Idk, I get what you are saying but surely there's a point where I ought to stop psychoanalyzing and throw a verbal punch or two 😂.

I completely understand how you feel.

I'm guilty of going over interactions well after they're through, always wishing I'd have said this or that.

I'm in a financial Discord chat where, if we get a troublemaker, the general coping mechanism is to insult the person as much as possible. (It's 99.9% guys, so I realize this is how men often handle these situations.)

There was one guy I was talking calmly to, trying to reinforce some of the positive or useful things he said while ignoring his snide remarks. The host of the group angrily PM'ed me and made sarcastic comments about how I must want this guy as a boyfriend (in much cruder language, but it's to be expected in a non-Christian, Wild West of a chat.)

I simply explained that this tends to be my first approach with hostile people -- to try to get where they're coming from and if possible, attempt to bring out more of the positive while hoping to extinguish some of the negative. If that doesn't work, well, other measures must be taken. Sometimes we DO need to just walk away in silence as well.

I understand though that others might interpret us as giving "the bad guy" "permission" to step all over others, and that's not our intent at all. You and I have the experience to know that sometimes, just sometimes, a hostile front is just that -- a front -- and if we don't feed into it, another, more pleasant facet of the person might appear.

It's an awful feeling to think we are harming victims by looking as if we're defending someone who is acting vile. We won't always make the best or perfect choices.

But we can trust that God is helping us know what to say, when to say something, and when to hold back -- and if we follow Him, our obedience is what counts most.

These days, even if you try to defend someone, sometimes they'll get mad at YOU for "not doing enough" -- and you just can't win.

All we can is try our best to obey God's leading, and that's what counts above all else.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

That's a tough call sometimes.
I'm glad you recognize and agree with Jesus, because there are a few chapters in the gospels when He's angry. The old testament describes God's wrath many times. Yet many disagree and say it's not "Christlike to be angry".

I have to admit that our displays of anger are often in the flesh,but I won't throw out the baby with the bathwater when the very last book of the Bible describes the wrath of God poured out upon the world.

😎🥶 Still chill

 

[Snackersmom]

That's a tough call sometimes.
I'm glad you recognize and agree with Jesus, because there are a few chapters in the gospels when He's angry. The old testament describes God's wrath many times. Yet many disagree and say it's not "Christlike to be angry".

I have to admit that our displays of anger are often in the flesh,but I won't throw out the baby with the bathwater when the very last book of the Bible describes the wrath of God poured out upon the world.

😎🥶 Still chill

Oh definitely, anger is a characteristic of God and I think righteous anger/indignation is proper for Christians as well. Especially if it motivates us to protect or defend those who are vulnerable. 😎👍

Human wrath I have a harder time with because vengeance belongs to God and He sees all angles and intentions, humans do not. But of course punishing abhorrent behavior is necessary to uphold a civilized society.

Anyways..... I don't think I suppress righteous anger, it's more that I rarely feel angry at all. Especially in the heat of the moment. When I do get angry it's usually in retrospect, like while processing the situation after gathering as much info. as possible. But by then it might be too late to bring up. 😕

Disclaimer: please understand that I don't see a lack of anger as particularly "good". It just isn't my "go-to" emotion. I'm much more likely to worry, and unlike anger, there is no such thing as righteous worrying. Concern or caution maybe, but not worry. So I'm definitely not perfect in the emotions department, just trying to figure out a proper balance 🙃.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
(Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

 

[Snackersmom]

I completely understand how you feel.

I'm guilty of going over interactions well after they're through, always wishing I'd have said this or that.

I'm in a financial Discord chat where, if we get a troublemaker, the general coping mechanism is to insult the person as much as possible. (It's 99.9% guys, so I realize this is how men often handle these situations.)

There was one guy I was talking calmly to, trying to reinforce some of the positive or useful things he said while ignoring his snide remarks. The host of the group angrily PM'ed me and made sarcastic comments about how I must want this guy as a boyfriend (in much cruder language, but it's to be expected in a non-Christian, Wild West of a chat.)

I simply explained that this tends to be my first approach with hostile people -- to try to get where they're coming from and if possible, attempt to bring out more of the positive while hoping to extinguish some of the negative. If that doesn't work, well, other measures must be taken. Sometimes we DO need to just walk away in silence as well.

I understand though that others might interpret us as giving "the bad guy" "permission" to step all over others, and that's not our intent at all. You and I have the experience to know that sometimes, just sometimes, a hostile front is just that -- a front -- and if we don't feed into it, another, more pleasant facet of the person might appear.

It's an awful feeling to think we are harming victims by looking as if we're defending someone who is acting vile. We won't always make the best or perfect choices.

But we can trust that God is helping us know what to say, when to say something, and when to hold back -- and if we follow Him, our obedience is what counts most.

These days, even if you try to defend someone, sometimes they'll get mad at YOU for "not doing enough" -- and you just can't win.

All we can is try our best to obey God's leading, and that's what counts above all else.

Thanks for your thoughts! I do identify with a lot of that. Especially the part about giving chaotic buttheads a chance, to the detriment of my own social standing 😂. Been accused of ulterior romantic motives a few times as well. 😑😒

And yet..... I'm losing count of the times some basic understanding seems to have worked, especially when dealing with teenagers. Some of them are accustomed to only finding connection through provoking anger, so it becomes their go-to (they can be pretty skilled at it lol 😂).

So when I don't give them the reaction they expect and instead feel connected through non-hostile interaction, they do tend to respond well. But I can imagine my methods look pretty naive to an outside observer, especially when dealing with an older person who is presenting like an emotionally stunted adolescent 🤔.

But like you said, we are only accountable to how God leads us as individuals, and if that means I'm destined to be misunderstood then I guess so be it 😅😒.

 

[Snackersmom]

A person’s wisdom yields patience;
it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
(Proverbs 19:11 NIV)

Good one, Mr. T! 😎👍

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

Good one, Mr. T! 😎👍

😄👍

 

[Cameron143]

Love covers a multitude of sins. You're just becoming a more loving person.

 

[Lynx]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

I remember one story in the Bible where God told a king to utterly destroy a certain Nation, but the king spared some of the people and cattle, including the enemy king. The prophet picked up a sword and killed the enemy King himself.

There is also the story of the king who went to see the prophet about an impending battle. The King was told to take arrows in his hand and smite the ground, so he hit the ground three times. The prophet was angry with him, claiming that if he had hit the ground many times with zeal he would have utterly overcome the enemy.

On the other hand Proverbs is rife with verses about how a fool is quick to anger...

So it really depends on the specific circumstance. Sometimes righteous indignation is warranted, and even needed. Sometimes it's not a good idea.

 

[Snackersmom]

Love covers a multitude of sins. You're just becoming a more loving person.

Thanks for your input! Of course I would love to believe that is the case, but gotta consider all possibilities lol 😆.

I remember one story in the Bible where God told a king to utterly destroy a certain Nation, but the king spared some of the people and cattle, including the enemy king. The prophet picked up a sword and killed the enemy King himself.

There is also the story of the king who went to see the prophet about an impending battle. The King was told to take arrows in his hand and smite the ground, so he hit the ground three times. The prophet was angry with him, claiming that if he had hit the ground many times with zeal he would have utterly overcome the enemy.

On the other hand Proverbs is rife with verses about how a fool is quick to anger...

So it really depends on the specific circumstance. Sometimes righteous indignation is warranted, and even needed. Sometimes it's not a good idea.

Ah yes... I was trying to think of the story of the king with the arrows, had a vague memory of it but I'll have to look it up.

I definitely think there is a place for anger, especially if you are called to be a defender, as kings generally are. Seeing others mistreated does tend to make me angry, so maybe that's the proper place for it? 🤔

Not that we should never stand up for ourselves, but I doubt Jesus would have told a small child to turn the other cheek if they were being abused, He probably would have driven off the offender.

 

[Cameron143]

Thanks for your input! Of course I would love to believe that is the case, but gotta consider all possibilities lol 😆.



Ah yes... I was trying to think of the story of the king with the arrows, had a vague memory of it but I'll have to look it up.

I definitely think there is a place for anger, especially if you are called to be a defender, as kings generally are. Seeing others mistreated does tend to make me angry, so maybe that's the proper place for it? 🤔

Not that we should never stand up for ourselves, but I doubt Jesus would have told a small child to turn the other cheek if they were being abused, He probably would have driven off the offender.

Romans 5:5...sometimes the love of God is simply shed abroad in our hearts. Rather than surprise us, we should expect it to happen more and more.

 

[Daisy2]

Lot of times people expect to be angry when their have been insulted. "And nothing shall offend them" I take this as God meant for us to reach a point where we are no longer angry at people insulting us instead sadness at knowing that person is lost is there.

Righteous angry on the other hand is the angry of God. I've only seen this a couple of times other then in the bible mostly displaying by my mother. When visiting churches that twisted scripture to fit a agenda. It's also different if only the person believes it and is not doing it for self gain or listing of their sins wanting others to practice it also. But when the pastor knows the truth and still promoting it for filthy lucres sake there mouths must be stoped!

 

[LifelongLearner]

Yeah, i do think a lack of anger can be unrighteous, just as experiencing frequent anger is unrighteous.

The Lord himself obviously feels much anger/wrath because his absolute righteousness is constantly offended. However, he shows much forbearance towards us because of our fallen state and our living in the limited time of his mercy.

So i actually think never feeling at least some anger, distress etc when something vile or horrific happens, isn't a good thing. It's what we do when feeling angry that really matters, really think we shouldn't express it unless we're certain it's just anger and we can do just what's necessary without losing the plot.

Hope that makes some sense

 

[LifelongLearner]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

You took some words out of my mouth there for sure sister! I'm slow to anger too, seeking to understand or sadness are more normal reactions for me. Really glad i'm like that too, the world has become a very frightened and angry place over the last five years, so many people have really lost the plot.

Of course i'm not totally unaffected/chilled about it all but i still have a decent measure of understanding and self control. However, i definitely ain't anyone to be around if i do unload my anger, seen a few mushroom shaped clouds afterwards sadly.

 

[Karlon]

Hey everyone! Posting this in singles because ya'll are chill 😎.

A recent online interaction has me in an existential quandary. I was reading back over the interaction with no intention to reply or comment, simply wanting to process what had already been said. As I was reading I couldn't help but wonder.... why didn't this person's comments make me angry?

Like, I know the Bible tells us to be slow to anger, but I couldn't help but think that any reasonably emotionally healthy person would have reacted with anger or at the very least, indignance..... but that's not what I felt, so it's not how I responded. I was mostly just curious.

I'm NOT saying I never get angry, nor that I think anger is always wrong. Jesus seemed pretty angry when he drove the moneychangers out of the temple. And we know He never sinned, so obviously there is a place for righteous anger. I'm just kinda wondering if I might be a little TOO slow to anger lol...... is that even possible? 😆

it may be a gift from God that you are quite patient & hold back on anger. it is tough to apply wisdom when anger wants to move in. especially, the more spoiled someone is, the quicker the anger is applied. instill that in your condition response. you can be a teaching model for those who are quick to wrath & anger.