Has God Ever Actively Told You to Pursue or Break Up With Someone? How Did it Go?

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seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#1
May 23, 2009
17,297
6,162
113
#1
Hey Everyone,

I was thinking about it these past few week. For my own life, I don't think God has ever told me to pursue any particular guy in a romantic way, but for friendships, yes, most definitely. I believe there are times when God told me to check up on this person, message that person, or see how so-and-so is doing, even if it's been a very long time.

I also believe there are times He's told me, regarding others, to keep my exchanges with them generic and short, or to only talk with them in public, or just avoid them altogether if I can.

I've only had a few relationships, but I didn't need for God to tell me that they were unhealthy situations. It would be like choosing to put your hand on a burning oven and trying to excuse it with, "But God hasn't told me to move my hand yet!" I eventually learned the consequences, and God was gracious to help me choose a different path.

But I've heard stories of people who believe God told them to pursue or marry someone (but that wasn't a guarantee -- some still ended in divorce.) And I've heard stories of people saying God told them to break up with someone.

One story I always remember was of a pastor who said that when he was in Bible college, he was in a relationship with a girl... But that God told him to break up with her and pursue another girl instead.

Now I'm certainly not saying God can't or won't do this, but the problem for me is that I've also heard of people saying, "God told me my wife/husband isn't the real one He chose for me, so I'm going to divorce her/him to find who God REALLY has for me" -- or, they already have someone lined up and are leaving their current spouse for that person.

What do you think, and what has your experience been?

* Has God ever told you to romantically pursue or break up with someone? What were the results?

* Has this happened to people you know? (Parents, friends, church family, etc.) How did it turn out?

* To what extent do you believe God tells us to go after or leave someone in a romantic sense?

* If God told you to pursue someone and it didn't work out -- what next? Do you believe you need to wait until God tells you to pursue someone else?

I'd really be interested in hearing what other people have seen and gone through. I am most puzzled by the cases in which people believe God told them to marry their spouse -- and it goes horribly, is abusive, and/or ends in divorce.

Did God call them into a modern-day Hosea and Gomer situation? I just don't know.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#2
Aug 13, 2014
28,780
10,316
113
#2
1. God never does anything for no reason. Maybe we don't KNOW the reason right now, but there's always a reason. Hosea was told to marry Gomer for a definite reason.

2. God never says anything that directly contradicts what He said in the Bible. If a couple is married, that is married. "God told me to divorce my spouse because God wants somebody else for me" is not biblical.

2-A. When mom had an affair, got pregnant and divorced dad, dad was hurting. He married "on the rebound" as they call it. The woman he married on the rebound turned out to be a control freak, schizophrenic, and wanted dad to have nothing to do with his own family. But he stayed with her for two decades... Right up until she got a mortgage on their house, used the money to pay off her medical bills, then divorced him and left him with the mortgage.

Some would call that a loss and say he should have dumped her. But he considered a marriage to be a promise he had made, one that he was honor bound to keep. He may have lost some money and a couple decades, but he kept his honor.

I respect him a whole lot more than if he had cut the cable two decades ago. He made a mistake and he paid for it honorably.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#3
May 23, 2009
17,297
6,162
113
#3
Lynx said:
1. God never does anything for no reason. Maybe we don't KNOW the reason right now, but there's always a reason. Hosea was told to marry Gomer for a definite reason.

2. God never says anything that directly contradicts what He said in the Bible. If a couple is married, that is married. "God told me to divorce my spouse because God wants somebody else for me" is not biblical.

2-A. When mom had an affair, got pregnant and divorced dad, dad was hurting. He married "on the rebound" as they call it. The woman he married on the rebound turned out to be a control freak, schizophrenic, and wanted dad to have nothing to do with his own family. But he stayed with her for two decades... Right up until she got a mortgage on their house, used the money to pay off her medical bills, then divorced him and left him with the mortgage.

Some would call that a loss and say he should have dumped her. But he considered a marriage to be a promise he had made, one that he was honor bound to keep. He may have lost some money and a couple decades, but he kept his honor.

I respect him a whole lot more than if he had cut the cable two decades ago. He made a mistake and he paid for it honorably.
Click to expand...

I think I've met almost your entire family, but unfortunately, not yet your father. I have that on a bucket list for a future meetup, God willing.

In all your descriptions of your dad and in passing along some of his texts, what strikes me is that for someone who has been done so wrong, he's NEVER come across as bitter or resentful. He always seems to have some sort of joy about him.

And I know some people would say, "Well duh, Seoul, that's the joy of the Lord!" But having lived through a bit of romantic betrayal (though just a fraction compared to your dad,) I know it's a whole lot harder to actually live out, let alone maintain.

It's one thing to have a happy marriage. But to literally live in the middle of a trainwreck and STILL carry out the vows you made to someone in front of God...

If only I could have just a small portion of your Dad's resilience, and I would be a much better person.

Thank you so much for posting -- I am definitely putting your father on my prayer list.
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#4
Mar 8, 2023
3,034
1,402
113
#4
yes, He has! about november of 1992. i was dating a Jewish lady. in fact, i attended a seder with her. we enjoyed each other very much. she was a very happy person because we were out every weekend enjoying the good times. it was also around the time i started thinking about changing my life & having my first thoughts about being a born again Christian. she began to drink too much so i called it off. the breakup went smooth.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
28,780
10,316
113
#5
Karlon said:
yes, He has! about november of 1992. i was dating a Jewish lady. in fact, i attended a seder with her. we enjoyed each other very much. she was a very happy person because we were out every weekend enjoying the good times. it was also around the time i started thinking about changing my life & having my first thoughts about being a born again Christian. she began to drink too much so i called it off. the breakup went smooth.
Click to expand...
Well I sobered up
And I been thinkin
Girl ya ain't much fun
Since I quit drinkin
 
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