Hi Jamie,
Thanks for your post. I can definately identify with what you are saying--God took me on that journey too. In my searching, I was inundated with ignorant people who said, "Just believe the Bible, not what everyone says," but then they would tell me all about "what the Bible says" from their point of view. My own mother said that I was a "tool of Satan prosolytizing false teachings." Hm... I was just trying to know God better.
God took me on that journey and he made me go it alone. There was not one person who truly understood what it was all about. I was angry at times, so lonely, sad... even cried myself to sleep because I didn't understand and I wanted to fit in with "mainstream" Christianity, but just couldn't. Now I see what it was all about. God was teaching me to look to him alone and not worry about what everyone else is doing or thinking or believing. I'm grateful for the lesson, but it still hurts when I remember how people treated me--people who called themselves "christians" but sure didn't act like it.
I spent 5 years studying with Jehovah's Witnesses. I sure do love them, and I sure did take a lot of verbal beatings and ignorant talk from foolish "christians" who judge what they don't know or understand. In the end the jokes on them when they get through those pearly gates and find their JW neighbor made it too! HAHAHAHA. That's a good one! I'll be rolling on the ground laughing when I see the looks on people's faces!
In the end, Jamie, the lesson really isn't about doctrine. To some extent it is, but mostly it's about letting him take you on the journey of your life! It's so awesome that you agreed to it. It's not for the weak-hearted, that's for sure, so I know that God has a plan to use you in a mighty way! Awesome!
