Porn is wrong, but I don't believe masturbation is. Many men have to masturbate in order for their bodies to continue in good health. But we're men. That's how we operate.
There is nothing in the Bible that says masturbation is wrong. That is a conclusion that always has to be derived, and I believe it to be a fallible one.
At any rate, I know I've been struggling with loneliness myself. To my own shame I tried porn, but it left me hollow inside and feeling even lonelier than before. What I needed was affection from love. Not hollow sex. Porn does nothing for me, and I have little desire for it even as a man.
I can go months without a single hug, and days without even touching another person. It is hard. I agree with you. Because what we need is meaningful affection. That is what we long for, but I know I cannot have it. And there is nothing I can do that will be obeying God or disobeying him that will change anything for me.
To tell you the truth I get so distressed about this sometimes that my limbs grow weak. I remember the feeling because it was the same feeling I had when I fell to my knees after going through what my ex put me through. Sometimes I feel like my heart has to take so much flack because I've been searching for the right woman and every woman wants to be chased. Every woman will play games and make you wait and ignore you. I understand their reasons for this. But it's not the loneliness that really hurts. It's the amount of people that ignore you when you're hurting. It's not like I'm looking for just any girl. I put girls through a number of litmus tests. lol While they're running away I'm close behind, examining how they run and then deciding if I want to continue to pursue them. lol It's quite tiring.
I don't count on people understanding me or showing me affection after reading this post, but the people here have already shown me so much affection without even being asked for it. And it has helped me considerably. I thank them for a warm welcome to this website.
In the end I don't trust God to give me someone or to give me to someone. But I hope he will help us all to follow him and finish the race and rest at last in the end. As an aside, I'm not all gloom and doom. Life has made me a little more serious, but sometimes my sense of humor is at its best when I'm emotionally exhausted. I've just tried so many tricks to occupy myself and forget my loneliness, but the inevitable always returns. It's just part of life we have to deal with. And the fact that I'm such an optimistic and motivational speaker will certainly win the ladies over in droves.
Seriously though, I'm just tired of being judged, coming up short and being ignored. Maybe I'll find someone. Maybe I won't. But that's my story, and I sympathize with you.