Hey Everyone,
I haven't been posting due to 1. bouts of depression, as regulars know is an ongoing personal battle of mine; 2. having a cycle of needing more intake (reading, studying, listening to life stories) than writing; and 3. a deep sadness for the things I see others go through.
It's always helped me is to have people to look up to in different areas of life (faith, finance, fitness, etc.) whom I can learn from and see as a mentor.
I have recently learned that someone I saw as a mentor has been tangled up in a heartbreaking situation in which their very long-term spouse (something like 25 years) cheated on them. They are trying to work things out according to Biblical principles and church supervision.
I feel especially sorrowful because this is the 3rd time in my life someone I saw as a mentor was caught up in, or hurt by a case of gut-wrenching sexual sin. And the feelings I have aren't judgment or disappointment in the person. It's more like, these are people who eat, breathe, sleep, and (in some cases) make a living by the Word of God.
But this did not shelter them from falls, losses, or very bad choices, all while knowing better than anyone what the consequences would be.
My sorrow is NOT a matter of, "How dare they?!", but rather, "If they couldn't make it without falling/becoming a victim to such devastation... How could I ever hope to?"
And people will always say, "Well DUH!!! That's why you look to JESUS as your example, NOT another human being!" Now, I can want to be like Jesus in an area like finances -- but how many people actually achieve this without someone to teach them how, and live out examples of what responsible finance works in real life?
Of course I know we are supposed to look to Jesus above anyone else. But the thing is, we're all human, and we all look to humans to relate to. If you told your child to look to Jesus and not you as an example or inspiration, would it be enough to keep the on the right track? And so, we all look to someone as a guide for how to get through this wretched passage in a cursed world.
I was marinated in Bible study, community, and culture literally from the time my parents got me at 6 months old. And I say this not as some sort of clout or excuse, but because my whole life, the answers I've been given have always been passages, passages, and more passages. And that's not enough, because once you get those passages down, you need to study the whole Bible -- and that's just the start. After that, it's relly best to study the whole Bible in its ORIGINAL languages so you can TRULY understand what the Bible REALLY says.
So because I have heard nothing but Christian-ese all my life, I am dying to be around people who share how they personally apply it. This is why I'm not comforted by being given 50 more passages about marriage, adultery, divorce, sexual sin, and fleeing temptation, or any other life issue I'm facing or seeing others go through.
Going back to the example of finances -- how much is just hearing all the Bible passages about money really helping people with their finances? They need actual living human examples (both successful and not, to see the contrast) to know how to actually live it out.
Similarly, I want to hear the stories of the people who have faced life issues in the myriad of ways they affect people -- and how they are going on or have survived, and how they are now helping others through it. I need people I can look up to, because they've faced the very things (and not just adultery, but every area of life)that we all know that all the prayer and Bible study in this life does not fully shelter us from.
I have often asked God who I can look up. Do I look up to the people hell bent on doing nothing but correcting others by quoting every possible Bible passage that applies, in all the original languages and texts? Then arguing down to the last letter about why their perspective is the "true" interpretation? Surely these devout scholars of the Word, so insistent on correcting all the dumb sheep like myself, are the ones who, if the FBI did a sweep of their computers and electronic devices, not a speck of questionable material would be found (or deleted.) Surely their search history could be put up on the being screen at church.
And I'm not criticizing people who think like this for sinning -- rather, I am very apprehensive of anyone who sets themselves up as divine teachers/prophets/shepherds but never speak of, or admits their own sins.
Should I look for a mentor among the pious women I grew up with in church, who, while setting up for the next church function they volunteered for, spoke in hushed shock about the single mother of a little girl I attended grade school with? After all, it was whispered that this woman "had a revolving door on the side of their house for men"?
I was just a kid when I heard the ladies talking about this. We drove past this family's house every day for school, and I never once saw a revolving door. They were a rather newfangled thing at the time, as not many local places had them -- and I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, because as a kid, I thought a literal revolving door on your house would be cool.
Whether it was true or not, I look back as an adult and feel immense sorrow over the mean-spirited things that were said about this woman, as she was the only single mother in my class.
And so, my continual search for those I can relate to, and learn from, goes on. What about you?
* Who do, or who have, you looked up to in your life? Parents, teachers, mentors, people who were there for you when no one else was?
* Have they ever done something that disappointed you or let you down, to the point where you weren't sure if you could look up to them anymore?
* Did you look for someone else to look up to, or did it ensure that you look to no one else but Jesus?
* How have you responded, or how would you respond, if/when people told you it was your own fault for looking up to a mere human being and not Jesus in the first place? (How would you convince your kids to stop looking up to you if this is to be taken literally?)
For my own self, I don't stop looking up to someone just because they've committed a "really bad sin" that gets made public. Many people sin the same way, whether in thought, word, or deed -- they just don't get caught, or have their sins publicly displayed.
Sometimes I wind up admiring them even more for the way they walk through it. I have always been drawn to people who are open about the fact that they sin in the first place rather than the ones who preach behind iron fortresses without a hint of vulnerability.
To me, that isn't human -- it's the original form of being a Robot with Artificial (appearance of) Intelligence -- and personally I need Real Humans to relate to.
But that's just me.
How about you?
I haven't been posting due to 1. bouts of depression, as regulars know is an ongoing personal battle of mine; 2. having a cycle of needing more intake (reading, studying, listening to life stories) than writing; and 3. a deep sadness for the things I see others go through.
It's always helped me is to have people to look up to in different areas of life (faith, finance, fitness, etc.) whom I can learn from and see as a mentor.
I have recently learned that someone I saw as a mentor has been tangled up in a heartbreaking situation in which their very long-term spouse (something like 25 years) cheated on them. They are trying to work things out according to Biblical principles and church supervision.
I feel especially sorrowful because this is the 3rd time in my life someone I saw as a mentor was caught up in, or hurt by a case of gut-wrenching sexual sin. And the feelings I have aren't judgment or disappointment in the person. It's more like, these are people who eat, breathe, sleep, and (in some cases) make a living by the Word of God.
But this did not shelter them from falls, losses, or very bad choices, all while knowing better than anyone what the consequences would be.
My sorrow is NOT a matter of, "How dare they?!", but rather, "If they couldn't make it without falling/becoming a victim to such devastation... How could I ever hope to?"
And people will always say, "Well DUH!!! That's why you look to JESUS as your example, NOT another human being!" Now, I can want to be like Jesus in an area like finances -- but how many people actually achieve this without someone to teach them how, and live out examples of what responsible finance works in real life?
Of course I know we are supposed to look to Jesus above anyone else. But the thing is, we're all human, and we all look to humans to relate to. If you told your child to look to Jesus and not you as an example or inspiration, would it be enough to keep the on the right track? And so, we all look to someone as a guide for how to get through this wretched passage in a cursed world.
I was marinated in Bible study, community, and culture literally from the time my parents got me at 6 months old. And I say this not as some sort of clout or excuse, but because my whole life, the answers I've been given have always been passages, passages, and more passages. And that's not enough, because once you get those passages down, you need to study the whole Bible -- and that's just the start. After that, it's relly best to study the whole Bible in its ORIGINAL languages so you can TRULY understand what the Bible REALLY says.
So because I have heard nothing but Christian-ese all my life, I am dying to be around people who share how they personally apply it. This is why I'm not comforted by being given 50 more passages about marriage, adultery, divorce, sexual sin, and fleeing temptation, or any other life issue I'm facing or seeing others go through.
Going back to the example of finances -- how much is just hearing all the Bible passages about money really helping people with their finances? They need actual living human examples (both successful and not, to see the contrast) to know how to actually live it out.
Similarly, I want to hear the stories of the people who have faced life issues in the myriad of ways they affect people -- and how they are going on or have survived, and how they are now helping others through it. I need people I can look up to, because they've faced the very things (and not just adultery, but every area of life)that we all know that all the prayer and Bible study in this life does not fully shelter us from.
I have often asked God who I can look up. Do I look up to the people hell bent on doing nothing but correcting others by quoting every possible Bible passage that applies, in all the original languages and texts? Then arguing down to the last letter about why their perspective is the "true" interpretation? Surely these devout scholars of the Word, so insistent on correcting all the dumb sheep like myself, are the ones who, if the FBI did a sweep of their computers and electronic devices, not a speck of questionable material would be found (or deleted.) Surely their search history could be put up on the being screen at church.
And I'm not criticizing people who think like this for sinning -- rather, I am very apprehensive of anyone who sets themselves up as divine teachers/prophets/shepherds but never speak of, or admits their own sins.
Should I look for a mentor among the pious women I grew up with in church, who, while setting up for the next church function they volunteered for, spoke in hushed shock about the single mother of a little girl I attended grade school with? After all, it was whispered that this woman "had a revolving door on the side of their house for men"?
I was just a kid when I heard the ladies talking about this. We drove past this family's house every day for school, and I never once saw a revolving door. They were a rather newfangled thing at the time, as not many local places had them -- and I couldn't understand what all the fuss was about, because as a kid, I thought a literal revolving door on your house would be cool.
Whether it was true or not, I look back as an adult and feel immense sorrow over the mean-spirited things that were said about this woman, as she was the only single mother in my class.
And so, my continual search for those I can relate to, and learn from, goes on. What about you?
* Who do, or who have, you looked up to in your life? Parents, teachers, mentors, people who were there for you when no one else was?
* Have they ever done something that disappointed you or let you down, to the point where you weren't sure if you could look up to them anymore?
* Did you look for someone else to look up to, or did it ensure that you look to no one else but Jesus?
* How have you responded, or how would you respond, if/when people told you it was your own fault for looking up to a mere human being and not Jesus in the first place? (How would you convince your kids to stop looking up to you if this is to be taken literally?)
For my own self, I don't stop looking up to someone just because they've committed a "really bad sin" that gets made public. Many people sin the same way, whether in thought, word, or deed -- they just don't get caught, or have their sins publicly displayed.
Sometimes I wind up admiring them even more for the way they walk through it. I have always been drawn to people who are open about the fact that they sin in the first place rather than the ones who preach behind iron fortresses without a hint of vulnerability.
To me, that isn't human -- it's the original form of being a Robot with Artificial (appearance of) Intelligence -- and personally I need Real Humans to relate to.
But that's just me.
How about you?
.
I also do not want anyone putting me on a pedestal because I know for sure that I will disappoint 
. Jesus will never disappoint me and , when I do disappoint him , he's very gracious 
You seem like such a sweet and caring person, and the things you share on the site are exactly what I look for. When you talk about how you're handling things with your mum, you are teaching people like me how to live out grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love. 
