My opinion on sparing the rod.

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leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#1
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
8
38
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#1
When I was in primary school this poem was up on the wall, it really sums up my opinion....

If a child lives with cricism, he learns to condemn…

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight…

If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive…

If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself…

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy…

If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt…

But…

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient…

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident…

If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative…

If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love…

If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is…

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice…

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him…

If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.

With what is your child living?
 
M

MrsSunflower

Guest
#2
#2
I read some of the same like this one at a kindergarden I was practice working at. I also agree with it. As a child I had all of those qualities of what is written above there in the start, that was the child/teen I was in my past. Still I am told that I had a lot of mercy in me, 'cause I could still have trust for talking with strangers, I could still care for others, and to show love. But I beleive this was God teaching me how to love, how to care, and how to trust others. I never trusted my parents much, because they were more busy breaking me down.

When I started learning how to become independent and learn making my own choices weren't before I moved out from my parents home and God sent me some good Christian friends for me. I prayed and asked God to to send me true and good friends, and after a half year or so, I did meet them. God truly cares for us and I felt so thankful and blessed by Him. Some of these friends are still good friends of mine today too. :)
 
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M

MrsSunflower

Guest
#3
#3
Now; Don't think I never cared about my parents as a child/teen. I have been praying a lot for them, and I have so many times tried showing them love by being good back towards them. Many times; As an child/teen but also as an young adult. My parents aren't Christian, and I got faith in me of God when I was around 6-7 years old, my older sister was best friends with the priest's daughter, and she told me then about God. That was when a seed was sown in me, and starting to grow more and more through my years since then. :) Whenever I did hurt my parents or siblings, I always went afterwards to my own room, repented before God and asked for His forgiveness.

They say a child that has a bad relationship to their earthly father will have a bad picture of God too as being the same way as their earthly father, but I saw and learned quick that God was a good God, and this became my view on Him. I could always go to God, and talk to Him, as well as cry out to Him when I was hurt, etc...

Thing is no matter how much I tried showing them love as well as praying, they kept on telling me that I never cared for them nor loved them. That I said I also prayed for them, didn't touch them either. So it was very very tough years for me, especially when I lived at my parents home.
 
V

violakat

Guest
#4
#4
leelee said:
When I was in primary school this poem was up on the wall, it really sums up my opinion....

If a child lives with cricism, he learns to condemn…
Click to expand...
Criticism can actually be a good thing, depending on how it's used. Criticism is basically a judgement. Most people look at it as being negative, because it is normally associated with the negative. However, when applied right, it can take something that good and make it even better. For instance, writing. English teachers fare required to critique papers, to show children another way of writing papers, how to see things from another point of view, and what mistakes needs to be corrected. How a teacher shares that criticism, makes the difference. For instance, a teacher could say, "You did not support what you said with anything reasonable. It was poorly written." Or the teacher could say, "You have a very interesting view point. I like what you say so far, but it could use a little more support to really strengthen your argument." Both are forms of criticism, however one sounds a little nicer.
 
M

MrsSunflower

Guest
#5
#5
I beleive what was meant above there is if you'd always get critized, and never being good enough, etc... The criticism that you talk about is to help building up a person telling them how to become better. That's nothing bad in doing that, is for the child's best, and the child understands this as well as wanting to to get better till next time they are given another writing lesson. But if a child keeps on hearing that they are never good, how can a child then see this as being something meant as in a positive way? If the child always feels like he/she is a failure?
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#6
#6
Oh your one of those..SPANKING KIDS IS CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!! Kinda people ... yeaaaah most people who dont have kids feel that way ;)
 
V

violakat

Guest
#7
#7
MrsSunflower said:
I beleive what was meant above there is if you'd always get critized, and never being good enough, etc... The criticism that you talk about is to help building up a person telling them how to become better. That's nothing bad in doing that, is for the child's best, and the child understands this as well as wanting to to get better till next time they are given another writing lesson. But if a child keeps on hearing that they are never good, how can a child then see this as being something meant as in a positive way? If the child always feels like he/she is a failure?
Click to expand...
I understand what you were saying. I was just making a point that there is a right way and wrong way with criticism is all.
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#8
#8
yup

"Children see, children do"

Parents are to be role models to their children, my belief is, if you hit them, in any way, you tell them hitting is OK if the other person is not sharing your view on things
 
M

MrsSunflower

Guest
#9
#9
violakat said:
I understand what you were saying. I was just making a point that there is a right way and wrong way with criticism is all.
Click to expand...

Ah, ok. No worries, I just wanted to make it clear on what was meant on here. Though I didn't meant to saying that you only meant it is upbuilding with negative/feedback criticism. I am sure most people can agree on how important it is to give both form of criticism to a child. As long as the child feels loved too, he/she will also understand and accept getting both forms of criticism. :)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#10
#10
wwjd_kilden said:
yup

"Children see, children do"

Parents are to be role models to their children, my belief is, if you hit them, in any way, you tell them hitting is OK if the other person is not sharing your view on things
Click to expand...

If i may just explain a thing or two. I understand where your coming from with this :) i dont believe hitting a child because they dont share the same view as you is right either, but i do believe spanking a child because they are being openly defiant is perfectly okay.

All children are different, i myself have two, there 4 and 5. There like night and day. There outlook is totally different from one anothers.
With my daughter spanking her doesnt do a thing. If i say, okay now if i have to tell you one more time to stop doing that your gonna get a spanking. She could care less, but now if i said, if you dont stop im gonna put you in timeout.. she immediately stops doing whatever it is ive told her not to do.
My son.... now i can put him in timeout all day long and it wouldnt make a bit of difference, he would just keep on disobeying, but spanking him is what gets his attention and gets him to obey.

I dont believe spanking a kid is ok when your mad, i also dont believe everytime a child does something wrong you should spank him or her, i believe you should exhaust your other options first. Then if the child has continued todirectly disobey you, you gotta put them in line, so they will know it is NOT okay to be disrespectful and defiant.
However like i said though if you know spanking doesn work on one of your children then dont do it, use what works.

Spanking does not turn children into violent offenders like some people wanna yell... i myself was spanked and have not a violent bone in my body. My son gets spanked sometimes and hes the sweetest kid. You cant generalize and make assumptions on something that has no merit to it.
 
V

violakat

Guest
#11
#11
MrsSunflower said:
Ah, ok. No worries, I just wanted to make it clear on what was meant on here. Though I didn't meant to saying that you only meant it is upbuilding with negative/feedback criticism. I am sure most people can agree on how important it is to give both form of criticism to a child. As long as the child feels loved too, he/she will also understand and accept getting both forms of criticism. :)
Click to expand...
You weren't, no worries.
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#12
#12
I didnt say it will make them offenders, I said they will get the idea hitting is accepted (as in, they might hit other children in kindergarden)

I should point out spanking is illegal where i live, so I kinda grew up with different rules..
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#13
#13
Nod, don't spank your kiddos, you might "hurt their self-esteem"...:rolleyes:
 
M

MrsSunflower

Guest
#14
#14
^ In what way did you mean using that one for?
 
M

MrsSunflower

Guest
#16
#16
I still don't get it. I meant also since you put up the "rolling eyes/sarcastic smilie* made me thinking you thought something was stated in a silly way or something in here.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#18
Mar 19, 2011
13,113
1,171
113
#18
I got a lot of whoopins as a child and I probably deserved every one of them
 
X

xJoe

Guest
#19
#19
Proverbs 13:24
24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
I do believe in the fact child see child do.
The Child can SEE that they cannot act however they want without consequence. Kind of like how life works. I do agree different kids need different methods. But if there's one method that's Biblical approved it is this one.
Sources : Holy Bible
Now there is biblical methods of how to do correction. Out of Love and not anger.
Now lets do some common sense. If the Bible supports spanking your children and you think its wrong. WHO is wrong?
Proverbs 3:5
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Let's not pretend to know more then God.
 
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K

Kleex

Guest
#20
#20
xJoe said:
Proverbs 13:24
24He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
I do believe in the fact child see child do.
The Child can SEE that they cannot act however they want without consequence. Kind of like how life works. I do agree different kids need different methods. But if there's one method that's Biblical approved it is this one.
Sources : Holy Bible
Now there is biblical methods of how to do correction. Out of Love and not anger.
Now lets do some common sense. If the Bible supports spanking your children and you think its wrong. WHO is wrong?
Proverbs 3:5
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Let's not pretend to know more then God.
Click to expand...
I agree with you Joe. God doesn't ask us our opinion on how to raise our children, he tells us.
 
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